


Slides of Cosy Lives

by Heavenli24



Series: Second Chances [4]
Category: Veronica Mars (Movie 2014), Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-02 10:02:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 130,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12724485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heavenli24/pseuds/Heavenli24
Summary: After tying the knot, Logan and Veronica now have to navigate married life as best they can. Fourth in the Second Chances series, sequel to Asking Everything in Return





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Before anyone wonders about the odd spelling of 'cosy' in the title - it's spelled 'cozy' in US English but 'cosy' in UK English :P.

**Chapter One**

**Late October 2018**

The day Logan arrives home from deployment doesn't come soon enough for Veronica. It's been eight long,  _long_  months without him, and as she waits with Sarah at the base, watching the ship dock and unload, she aches to wrap her arms around him. But instead of hugging Logan, right now her arms are filled with 15-month-old Ava, since she offered to give Sarah a rest from carrying her. Ava stares up at the immense ship, eyes wide as she sucks on her thumb.

"That's Daddy's ship," says Veronica with a smile. "He's coming home."

Ava pulls her thumb from her mouth and points toward the vessel. "Dada?"

"Uh, huh. You'll see him very soon."

"Dada," repeats Ava. "Boat?"

"Yeah, he's on the boat."

Veronica's smile widens as she looks down at the toddler, grateful for the distraction while they wait for Logan and Chaos to disembark. Ava really is an adorable child, with her wide, dark brown eyes and short, chestnut curls—a perfect mixture of both her parents. She's just about walking now and is saying a few words too. It's kind of crazy how much she's grown since the guys left.

"Looks like they're on their way," says Sarah, giving Veronica a small nudge and nodding to the gangplank where the officers are beginning to disembark.

"They are." Veronica grins, excitement building in her chest. She's about to see Logan again. "It's about time, too."

"It's been a long one, huh?"

"God, yeah. The longest." agrees Veronica emphatically. She turns to Sarah. "Thanks for everything though, Sare. Thanks for keeping me company, and letting me vent when I was missing him. It's good to have someone to talk to who understands what it's like."

"Anytime, Veronica." Sarah smiles. "And thank  _you_  for helping out with Ava—you've been a lifesaver the last few months."

Veronica just shrugs uneasily, looking down at the toddler again, who has returned to sucking her thumb. "It was no problem."

"You're really great with her, you know?" Sarah says softly. "A natural."

Veronica scoffs.  _Yeah, right_. "Don't know about that."

"You are."

Self-conscious, she averts her gaze, looking back toward the ship again, just as a familiar head comes into view. Her heart skips a beat.  _Oh God, he's here._

"Here, let me take her." Sarah reaches for Ava, and Veronica loosens her grip, handing her back to her mom.

Her gaze, however, is fixed on the approaching figure a few feet away.  _He's here. He's finally here._

He's in his dress whites, cover on his head, and duffle bag slung over one shoulder. He's grinning at her and she can't hold out any longer, can't just stand here waiting for him to come to her. She takes a step forward, then another, until she's running, closing the gap between them. He barely has time to let go of his bag before her arms wrap around his neck and she's pressing herself against him.

"Hey." He stumbles backwards slightly in response, his strong arms coming around her, holding her tightly to him as he lifts her up off the ground.

"You're home," she murmurs, revelling in the feel of him wrapped around her after so long.

She buries her face in his neck, inhaling his scent. God, he smells so good: a mixture of soap and that cedar and sandalwood cologne of his, but with a hint of jet fuel mixed in too.

"I am," he responds, setting her down, though not releasing his grip, still holding her tightly against him, palms flat on her back.

Veronica can't resist. She rises up again, pressing her lips to his in a series of several gentle, closed-mouth kisses, her fingers stroking the back of his neck as she does so.

"I missed you so much," she murmurs when she pulls back.

"Missed you, too."

He looks down at her with a small half-smile and Veronica feels a lump forming in her throat as all the emotion she's been struggling to deal with over the last few months comes to the forefront. She blinks and swallows it down, refusing to cry, not wanting to spoil the reunion with her feelings of angst.

"Come on, let's get out of here."

Veronica steps to the side as Logan picks up his duffle, and then slips her hand in his, linking their fingers as they make their way over to Sarah and Ava, who have reunited with Chaos.

"Wow, she's gotten so big," says Logan, approaching Chaos, who is holding his daughter. "Look at you, Ava, so grown up now."

Ava turns away, shyly burying her head in Chaos's chest, thumb back in her mouth again, and Veronica gives a soft chuckle at the disappointment on Logan's face. Before the deployment, Ava had become quite attached to Logan, and vice versa, but eight months is a long time in a baby's life and it's not surprising she's shy around him now.

"Give her some time, Logan," says Sarah. "She'll get used to you again."

"Yeah, I guess." He gives a shrug, releasing Veronica's hand and stepping forward to give Sarah a one-armed hug. "It's good to see you, Sarah."

"You, too, Logan."

Following his lead, Veronica turns to Chaos. "Welcome home. Glad you both made it back okay."

"Me too, Veronica." Chaos smiles, as he holds Ava with one arm and leans forward to give Veronica a quick hug. "And thanks for helping out with this little one. Sarah says you've been great with her."

"Thanks." Veronica nods. "It was my pleasure. She's a total sweetheart."

"That's what she  _wants_  you to think, so you'll keep coming back." Chaos smirks, glancing down at his daughter, who has lifted her head and is looking at Veronica with wide, innocent eyes.

"Oh, don't I know it." Veronica gives a smirk. "She can be a real terror when she wants to be. But just look at that expression… I can't say no to her."

"Oh I can believe that. She has me wrapped around her little finger." Chaos grins, looking down at his daughter. "Don't you, sweetheart?"

"Gah," is Ava's only response.

At that moment, Logan takes Veronica's hand again and gives a nod that they should get going.

"Sorry," she says. "Guess that's my cue to leave. See you guys soon."

* * *

Veronica holds it together for the entire drive back to Neptune, as she makes idle small talk to distract herself, telling him meaningless stories about what's been going on lately. Beside her, Logan strokes the back of her hand, though he remains quiet through the journey, just letting her talk. However, the moment she steps inside their house and closes the door behind her, the floodgates open. She reaches for Logan and slides her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest.

"Hey," he says softly, immediately curling his arms around her, one palm cupping the back of her head, cradling her against him as the other flattens across her back. "Hey, it's okay. What's wrong?"

All the worry and loneliness and heartache that has been building for the last few months comes to a head, spilling over all at once, and she's powerless to stop it.

"Sorry, can't help it," she mumbles into his shirt, as the tears spill over. "Overwhelmed."

"Come on, don't cry," he continues, stroking her hair soothingly.

After several long moments of letting it all out, she sucks in a shaky breath, gathering her control before lifting her head to look up at him.

"Sorry," she says, though her voice catches as she speaks. Logan's hand slides around, his thumb brushing the tears from her cheek as he studies her with concern. "I thought it would be easier this time; you know, because I've done it before… but it really wasn't."

"For me either," he tells her softly. "I missed you every day."

"I know the feeling," She gazes up at him, drinking him in. "Kiss me, Logan. Make me forget about the last eight months."

He smiles, his fingers tracing along her cheek, then sliding around, tucking her hair behind her ear in a gesture so familiar and tender that it makes her heart ache. His palm cups the base of her neck as his mouth covers hers. The kiss starts off slow, Logan's lips brushing gently against hers, but then he sucks on her bottom lip and it sends a shiver down her spine. She moans softly in response and he lets go of her lip, kissing her more urgently now. His tongue slides into her mouth and she responds eagerly, tasting him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

When she finally pulls back, breaking the kiss, Logan smiles down at her, asking gently, "You okay now?"

"Uh, huh. Yeah, I think so." Veronica nods, bringing her hands up to cup his jaw, studying his features for a moment.

She runs her fingers through his hair, letting them come to rest at the back of his head as she brings their foreheads together.

Closing her eyes, she savours the moment, then murmurs, "Hold me?"

"Of course." His tone is soft.

His arms tighten around her and she presses herself against him. Normally, she would be embarrassed by how clingy she's being—she's never been the clingy type before—but something about  _this_  separation,  _this_  reunion, is getting to her, and she just needs to feel close to him right now.

* * *

It's Monday morning and Logan's been home for almost three days, but Veronica's still waiting for the 'honeymoon phase' to kick in. Almost three days and they haven't even made love yet. Instead, Logan's been alternating between sitting alone deep in thought, standing out on the beach and staring at the waves, and sleeping like the dead. It has Veronica worried.

For her, Monday morning means it's back to normal life, because although Logan has two weeks of leave, she needs to get back to work at MI. Except, it's not exactly normal, because Logan's actually  _here,_  and right now, he's in the shower. With the door locked. At the exact moment she needs to get in there if she gonna get to work on time. Great.

Jaw clenching in annoyance, she rubs the sleep from her eyes as she heads into the kitchen in search of coffee. Halfway there, she trips over the military-issue duffle that has been sitting in the hallway since Friday, banging her knee against the wall.

"Ow, shit!" She glares down at the bag filled with Logan's dirty clothes as she rubs her knee. "Would it kill him to do some laundry?"

With a frown and a pout, she heads into the kitchen, leaning down briefly to pet Pony, who is curled up in her bed, her leash resting on the counter top, Logan already having taken her out this morning. She reaches for the coffee pot, which should be freshly-brewed since she sets it on a daily timer, only to find it almost empty.

"What the hell?" She shoots another glare, this time in the direction of her bedroom door. "Seriously, Logan?"

With a frustrated sigh, she fills the pot and sets the coffee brewing again, then opens the fridge to grab the yoghurt and fruit granola she prepared last night… except it's half-eaten.

"Logan…" she grinds out, pissed as hell now.  _Who does he think he is, eating my breakfast, drinking my coffee?_ Hearing the shower stop and the en-suite bathroom door open, she calls out more loudly, "Logan!"

She hears movement in the hallway and then he comes into view, a towel wrapped around his waist.

"What's up?"

Veronica's gaze involuntarily travels up and down his damp torso, before she remembers she's mad at him. She lifts her eyes to his face and frowns, shoving the half-empty bowl of granola towards him.

"What's this?"

He frowns, confused, as he glances down at it and then back up at her. "Uh, granola?"

"Where's the rest of it?" she demands to know.

"I was hungry." He shrugs like it's no big deal. "And I couldn't resist. I've been deprived of fresh fruit for months, remember?"

"Logan, that was my breakfast." Veronica sighs, lowering the bowl to the counter with a clink. "And you drank all my coffee."

"Uh… sorry?" Logan seems puzzled. "I was under the impression it was my coffee too."

"And I needed to be in the shower like, ten minutes ago," she continues, on a roll now. "But, no,  _you_ were in there."

"Veronica, what—?" He stops, then frowns. "Why are you getting so bent out of shape? We've always shared the coffee before, and you never cared whose breakfast was whose. And you know, you could have just used the bathroom while I was in there, or, you know, the other bathroom down the hall."

"That's not the point, Logan!" Veronica's voice rises, anger rising to the forefront. "You're invading my space."

He scoffs, stepping forward, first pointing to himself then at her as he says, "Oh,  _I'm_  invading  _your_  space? Says the woman who just spent the last three nights kicking me in her sleep and hogging all the covers."

"Oh, well,  _excuse_   _me_  for getting used to sleeping alone for the last eight months," she spits out. "And for expecting my coffee and breakfast to be where it's supposed to be in the morning, since, you know, I've been living alone too."

Logan's lips curl into a sneer. "Seriously? You're pissed because you've had a king-size bed and all these luxuries"—he gestures around them—"to yourself all year, while I've been stuck sleeping in a cramped bunk in a room with five other guys and drinking crappy coffee? Grow up, Veronica."

Veronica's jaw drops. "Grow up? Grow  _up_?! Geez, Logan... insensitive, much?"

He makes a noise of incredulity. " _I'm_  insensitive? You're the one who's been nagging at me since I got back."

"I have not."

"Please." He scoffs." All weekend, it's been 'come walk Pony with me' and 'help me with dinner' and 'let's go for ice cream'." Logan shakes his head, eyes narrowing. "Can't you just leave me alone?"

That hurts. Veronica flinches, swallowing against the lump forming in her throat, though she can't stop her voice from cracking when she speaks again.

"Leave you  _alone_?" she says in disbelief. "Logan, I've had no choice  _but_  to leave you alone for months. I've been  _missing_  you for months. So, forgive me if I want to spend some time with you now you're home."

"I'm fucking tired, okay, Veronica?" he spits out. "I'm exhausted, and jet-lagged, and sleep-deprived. And I need some time to decompress, to get back to real life again."

Silence falls, tension hanging heavy in the air between them.

"248," Veronica murmurs softly after a long moment.

"What?" Logan stops short, looking at her in confusion.

"248," she repeats. "That's how many days it's been since we last made love."

Logan's expression softens. "Veronica…"

"You've been home for three days already, and… I mean, I know you're tired and all, but we've never, you know… had problems in that area before." She mumbles the last part, looking down at her hand resting on the counter. "And now… it's like you don't even want to touch me."

"Hey, no…" Logan places his hand over hers. "That couldn't be further from the truth."

He steps closer, running the back of his other hand along her cheek. Veronica closes her eyes briefly at the contact.

"Look, it's not you, Veronica," he says softly. "I just need some time, okay? This deployment was… difficult, and I'm having some trouble readjusting."

_Geez, now who's the insensitive one, Veronica?_

"God, I'm sorry," she apologises with a sigh. "I'm overreacting. It's just… I've been waiting so long for you to come home, and I just wanted to spend time with you, be close to you. I didn't mean to—"

"No,  _I'm_  sorry." Logan interrupts quickly. "I've been caught up in all my shit, and I didn't even think how it would affect you."

"I guess we both have some adjusting to do," she concedes. "I've gotten used to living on my own and having my own space, and it's strange, you being back again."

"I know. I get it." He nods. "I mean, while I've been living in limbo on the ship, your life has continued on without me."

"I wish it hadn't," she admits, lowering her eyes, focusing on the smooth planes of his bare chest. "Logan, we've been married nine months and I've been alone for eight of them. I was counting the days until you came back to me, but now you're here, and I don't know how to deal with it."

"Come here." Logan wraps his arms around her, bringing her close for a hug. Veronica buries her nose in his chest, sliding her arms around his waist. His skin is still slightly damp from the shower, and he smells of soap. "You know, how we're feeling right now… it's pretty normal."

"It is?" Her voice is muffled against him.

"Yeah." He nods, his chin brushing the top of her head. "A lot of couples and families have problems with reconnecting and reintegration after a long deployment."

"I'm not sure if that makes me feel better or worse," she admits.

"It was supposed to make you feel better." There's a pause before he adds, "So, 248 days, huh?"

"Yeah." Veronica lifts her head to find him looking down at her, apology evident in his expression.

"How about we do something about that?"

A smile tugs at her lips. "Okay."

He lifts one hand, fingers hooking under her chin, tilting her face up, as he lowers his mouth to hers. It's tender and loving and needy all at once, like he's trying to show her exactly how much she means to him with just one kiss. His tongue tangles with hers, and Veronica can't help sighing into his mouth. He tastes of toothpaste and coffee and it's so  _familiar_. It's home.

In one smooth move, Logan lifts her up onto the island counter, stepping between her legs. His hands slide along her bare thighs, the touch sending tingles up her spine, then beneath the oversized T-shirt she wore to bed. His mouth leaves hers as he nuzzles her neck and his hands cup her breasts, thumbs brushing across her nipples. Veronica shivers under his caresses, and it hits her how much she's missed this: the closeness, the intimacy... and her breath hitches, a sob rising in her throat.

"Hey, don't cry…" Logan pulls back in concern. "I hate to see you cry."

"Sorry," she whispers. "Don't know what's wrong with me."

He smiles tenderly. "Nothing's wrong with you. Nothing at all."

She gives a watery smile. "I love you, Echolls."

"I love  _you_ , Mars," he murmurs softly, hands sliding around and coming to rest flat against her back.

"You know, that's not my name anymore," she says teasingly.

Before they got married, Veronica hadn't wanted to take Logan's name, not seeing why she had to conform to gender stereotypes, and doing the hyphenating thing had seemed too pretentious. But when she thought about what would happen if they had kids, she realised she wanted them all to share the same name, to be a family unit. The idea of having a child with a different surname to her just didn't sit well, and she couldn't do that to Logan either, so they agreed she would be Echolls on paper, but still use Mars professionally.

He rubs his nose against hers. "You'll always be Mars to me."

She smiles, but when he goes in for another kiss, she places a hand on his chest. "Can we take this to the bedroom? My butt's falling asleep up here."

Logan suppresses an amused smile, but nods. "Sure."

He lifts her off the counter and she wraps her legs around his waist as he carries her into the bedroom and gently places her on the bed. She reaches into the bedside table for protection then shifts into a kneeling position and pulls the t-shirt over her head, smiling when Logan's gaze travels hungrily over her naked body. Veronica's eyes drop to the towel around his waist, where is his arousal is evident.

She swallows, gesturing to the towel, demanding, "Off."

He grins, obeying without question and dropping the towel to the floor. Veronica licks her lips at the sight of him standing before her.  _How does he manage to get sexier the older he gets?_  He's thirty now—though he was away for his birthday so they couldn't celebrate it together—but he's never looked better.

She hands him the square packet, then settles back against the pillows, crooking a finger at him. "Come here."

He grins and rolls the condom on, before placing first one knee on the bed, then the other. He settles over her and she slides her arms around his neck, tugging him down, revelling in the feel of his bare skin pressing against hers. He supports his weight on his elbows, his hips nestled between her thighs, as he looks down at her.

"I'm sorry," he says again. "For being so distant."

She shakes her head dismissively, not wanting to get into it now. "Just kiss me."

He smiles, lowering his mouth to hers, his tongue darting into her mouth and Veronica sighs with contentment as he slides inside her waiting body. He's finally here, finally intimately entwined with her again, and it's everything she's been missing and more.

* * *

An hour later, Logan relaxes in their comfortable bed, Veronica curled against his side and her head resting on his chest, as her fingers gently trace patterns over his skin.

"I'm so glad you're home," she murmurs softly. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you, too," he tells her, and though he means it, he can't seem to shake the melancholy feeling which has been plaguing him since he got home.

He's not entirely sure what's causing it. He should be happy to be here, should be over the moon about being with Veronica again, but something's holding him back. Like he told her in the kitchen, this deployment was difficult—it was stressful and tiring, and he saw and did some things he wished he hadn't—and now he's struggling to get out of that headspace.

He sucks in a breath, then exhales heavily.

"You okay?" she asks quietly.

"I will be." He nods, though he fixes his eyes on the ceiling, not wanting her to see anything in his expression.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

_Nope_ , he thinks.  _I just wanna forget._

Instead of answering, he turns his head, glances at the clock. It's later than he thought. "Shouldn't you be getting to work?"

She shakes her head. "Work can wait a bit. Spending time with you is more important."

"Are you sure?" He doesn't want her to risk her job for him.

"I'm sure."

She lifts her head, leaning up to kiss him gently. He returns it willingly.

"I wish I hadn't been gone so long this time," he admits softly when they part.

"Me, too. But it wasn't your fault," she says with a gentle smile. "Yeah, it sucked... but what can you do?"

"Well, I'm here now," he assures her, trailing his fingers up and down her arm. "We'll make up for those eight months, and more."

She sits up then, turning to look at him fully, hugging the sheet to her chest as she says, "How long?"

"What?" He frowns in confusion, shifting a little on his back so he can see her better.

"How long are you back for this time?" Her expression is guarded, as if she's steeling herself for the answer.

He smiles softly, pulling himself up into a sitting position so he's level with her. "All being well, three years."

Veronica's eyes widen in surprise, a tentative smile on her face. "Three years? Really?"

He nods. "Uh huh. It's a much longer shore rotation this time."

"I get you for three years, no deployments?" The hope in her expression makes his heart skip a beat.

"Pretty much," he says. "I might have to leave for a few short exercises, maybe a couple weeks at a time, but that's about it."

"Really?" Her smile widens into a grin. "That's great, Logan."

As she leans forward to hug him, Logan feels a little guilty about not telling her the rest. It's not set in stone yet though, and he doesn't want to rock the boat for no reason.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your comments and kudos for the first chapter :). 
> 
> I'm hoping to be able to keep updating weekly, but given that I haven't written a thing in the last week, we'll see how it goes :P.

**End October 2018**

Logan stares out at the ocean, the setting sun casting an orange-red glow across the water. He's been home eight days now, but he's still struggling to adjust back to normal life. Veronica's worried about him, but she doesn't  _know_. She wasn't around when he went off the rails before, didn't see him when he was broken and suicidal, doesn't understand how he copes. When things get tough, he deals with them alone.

Granted, he's not broken or suicidal anymore, but the point is, Veronica's trying to make him talk, and that's not how he handles his personal crap. So, as shitty as he feels for shutting her out, he doesn't know what else to do. He needs time alone to sort through everything that's messing with his head.

"Hey." Veronica appears to his right, taking a seat beside him on the sand.

"Hey," he replies softly, keeping his gaze fixed on the waves, watching them crash onto the shore.

"You planning on coming inside anytime soon?" she asks.

He shrugs noncommittally and she gives a soft sigh.

"Well, you can't sit out here all night," she reasons. She places her feet flat on the sand and rests her forearms on her knees. "Dinner's waiting for you."

"Not hungry," he says, still looking out at the ocean.

"You need to eat, Logan." Her tone is gentle though he can hear the worry and tension behind it. "You've skipped dinner twice in the last three days."

He shrugs again. _Can't help it if I'm not hungry._

"Okay, fine. You win." Out of the corner of his eye, he sees her shake her head. "But if you won't eat dinner, will you at least walk along the beach with me? I could use some company."

"Sure." He nods slowly. "Okay."

Finally tearing his gaze from the horizon, he follows her as she stands and brushes sand from her jeans. She slides her arm in his and they start walking along the shore, neither speaking. It only takes a few moments for the silence to start bugging him, but he doesn't know how to break it.

In the end, it's Veronica who speaks up. "Look, I know you're going through something right now, and for whatever reason, you're not talking, but I want to help you, Logan."

"Veronica, I—" he starts, but she cuts him off.

"Look, if you don't want to talk to me, that's fine, but at least talk to  _someone,_ " she says. "Go see Dr. Ramirez."

Zoe Ramirez is Logan's Neptune-based therapist. He's been seeing her on and off for years—she's the one who helped him get back on his feet after rehab, the one who suggested he join the Navy and helped him get accepted to OCS. He hasn't been to see her much in the last couple years, but they've kept in touch when they can.

"Yeah." He nods. "I will."

"Thank you." She looks up at him with a small smile. "I hate seeing you like this and not knowing how to help."

"I know." Logan nods in acknowledgement. He's felt the same way about Veronica more than once before.

They continue walking in silence for a couple minutes, Logan mulling over her suggestion. He wasn't just saying it to placate her, he does plan to see Dr. Ramirez—he's been thinking about making an appointment anyway—but the concern in Veronica's tone tugs at something inside him, and he can't not speak up.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly, disentangling his arm and slipping his hand in hers, squeezing gently. "For the last few days."

"It's okay."

He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. "No, it's not. I've been shutting you out."

"You don't need to explain," she says, though he knows it must be killing her not to pry.

If there's one thing that hasn't changed about Veronica in the last eleven years, it's that she absolutely hates being kept out of the loop. In fact, he's surprised she's held out this long. Barring the argument they had last week, she's actually been great about it since he got back, giving him his space, not pushing him, even though he knows she's dying to stick her nose in and find out what's wrong.

"I want to," he admits. "I'm just used to dealing with this stuff on my own. It's hard to talk about it."

"I understand." She nods. "But I'm here if you need to talk. No judgement, I promise."

"Thank you."

She brings their joined hands to her lips, kissing his knuckles. The emotion that overcomes him in response to the tender gesture makes up his mind, and after a pause, he begins to talk.

"It was really intense on the ship," he says eventually, looking out over the expanse of beach before them. "Constant pressure, constant stress. You know what the political climate is like right now, how terrifying it is out there, and I was right in the middle of it. It was so much to deal with and I'm having trouble getting out of that mind-set."

"Logan…" Veronica links her fingers with his, squeezing lightly. "I'm sorry."

"You don't understand, Veronica," he says, struggling to keep his emotions in check, even as his voice cracks. "I was  _responsible_  for some of that terror and heartbreak… you know, the stuff you see on the news. I dropped bombs that might have killed innocent civilians. I could be responsible for their deaths, Veronica. And I have to live with that every day."

He keeps walking, looking straight ahead, trying to blink away the tears that are threatening to spill over, but Veronica tugs on his arm, forcing him to stop as she steps in front of him.

"Hey, stop," she says softly, lifting her free hand to his cheek, though he can't bring himself to look down at her. "It's not your fault, Logan. You were just doing your job."

He shakes his head, swallowing harshly. "I'm the one who aimed the missiles, who pushed the release button."

"Look at me, Logan," she says firmly, voice leaving no room for argument.

Reluctantly, he lowers his chin, gaze meeting hers. He expects to see disappointment, or even pity in her expression, but there's nothing but concern and resolve.

"Listen to me: you are not responsible, okay?" she tells him determinedly. "You were following orders. You don't even know if any of your weapons even hit civilians."

"Well, no," he concedes. "But—"

"No buts." She cuts him off, her thumb moving to brush across his lips. "Logan, you are amazing at your job, okay? I know you did your best to avoid unnecessary casualties out there. You're a good person, Logan—a  _great_  person—you risk your life to serve your country, and that makes you a hero."

He scoffs; he can't help it, old insecurities coming to the forefront. "Yeah, I'm a real hero."

Veronica frowns, watching him with worry. "What's brought all this on, huh? What happened to my confident, cocky, fighter-pilot husband?"

Her tone is teasing, only holding a hint of worry as she tries to lighten the mood. He gives a half-hearted smile in response.

"It's been a tough few months," he says, though he manages a more genuine smile now. "Some days, all I needed was my witty, sarcastic wife by my side, distracting me from all those deep, dark thoughts. But alas, she was here in California, thousands of miles away."

Her expression softens, a gentle smile gracing her features. "Alas, indeed. But I'm here now, ready and willing to distract you from anything you need me to."

He nods. "Thank you."

"You know what I think?" she says. He shakes his head. "I think we should go home, where I can distract you to your heart's content. What do you say to curling up on the sofa with Pony and watching a movie? Then after that we can share a hot bath, and spend the rest of the night curled up in bed; get all those maudlin thoughts out of your head."

Logan's tentative smile widens into a grin, his heart warming at her words. "I say that's a good idea."

"Come on, then," she takes his arm, leads him back towards their house. "Let's go."

* * *

**End November 2018**

It's been almost five weeks since Logan got home from deployment, but Veronica can't seem to stop touching him, if only to assure herself he's still here, that he's solid, and real. It's soft brushes of her hand against his when they're preparing breakfast; it's her hand resting on his back as she reaches across him for her toothbrush; it's wrapping her arms tightly around him, burying her face in his chest, inhaling the scent of his cologne and never wanting to let go.

She can't get enough.

So, in the week after Thanksgiving, when the front door opens and closes, signalling Logan's return from work, she smiles, warmth spreading through her chest in anticipation of his touch. She's in the middle of sorting through boxes of Christmas decorations at the dining table, but her hands still when his arms come around her waist from behind and his lips press against the side of her neck. She leans back into the embrace eagerly, savouring his lean body pressing against hers.

Since he confided in her about the difficulties of his deployment, since he started seeing Dr. Ramirez again, they've actually been much closer than in a long time. Some evenings they just sit together in bed, Pony curled up between them, and share stories of their time apart. It's kind of therapeutic actually; it helps Logan work through his issues, while giving her a better insight into his life on the ship, and Veronica's doing the best she can to catch him up on life here in Neptune while he was gone. Not that they didn't talk and email during the deployment, but it was different then; they didn't exactly have the time or the internet connection for heart-to-hearts over Skype, and it just wasn't the same by email either.

"Hey." She smiles, tilting her neck to give him access. "You're home."

"I am."

"Just in time, too. You can help me with all this." She gestures to the tangle of tree lights on the other side of the dining table. "First task: unravelling those."

"Gee, thanks, Veronica." He rests his chin on her shoulder. "I come home after a long day at work, expecting my wife to have dinner on the table, and I get this instead."

Veronica gives a snort of amusement. "Hmm, no, you're thinking of a 1950's housewife. This, right here—" she points to herself "—is a modern working woman."

"Oh, yes, that's right." He tuts in disappointment. "I forgot."

She reaches up, pats his cheek. "Tell you what, I'll clear these off the table, and  _you_  can heat up last night's leftovers."

"Well, if I must." He gives a long-suffering sigh. "But I'm gonna have to shower first. I stink of jet fuel."

He kisses her cheek, hands briefly squeezing her waist, before he steps back and heads toward the hallway.

"Aww, but maybe I like the jet fuel smell," she tosses over her shoulder as she starts clearing the table.

"I'll be back soon, okay?" he responds, amusement colouring his tone.

Thirty minutes later, Logan has showered and changed, and dinner is on the table.

"Good day?" Veronica asks as they dig into chicken, potatoes and vegetables.

"Yeah." Logan nods, though he doesn't look at her, instead concentrating on the food in front of him. "Not bad."

Veronica frowns. Something's up. "What's wrong?"

"What makes you think something's wrong?" He still doesn't look up.

"The fact you're finding your broccoli more interesting than me," she says dryly. "Come on, spill."

He sighs, putting down his knife and fork and lifting his head to look at her.

"Okay, I have good news and bad news." He doesn't ask which she wants first, just forges ahead, "The good news is that I got the official confirmation: my shore rotation is definitely three years this time."

"Wow." Veronica breaks into a grin as she feels a small flip of excitement in her chest at that news. "That's great."

"Yeah, it is." His smile falters somewhat though, and Veronica remembers what else he said.

"And the bad news?" she prompts.

He exhales slowly and Veronica braces herself for it.

"I've been accepted onto the SFTI program." At her blank look, he adds, "Uh, the Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor program. Also known as Top Gun."

"No shit!" Veronica's mouth drops open in surprise. "You're gonna be an actual Top Gun pilot?"

"Guess so." He shrugs, looking down at his plate again.

"That's amazing, Logan."

"Yeah." He looks up, smiling widely now, enthusiasm showing in his expression. "Yeah, it kind of is."

"I'm not seeing how this is bad news," she prompts.

"It means I'm not going to be stationed in San Diego anymore," he admits. "The SFTI program is in Nevada and then I'll be assigned to a reserve fighter squadron at Oceana for the rest of the shore rotation."

Veronica's fork falls to her plate with a clatter as she stares at him, dread filling her chest as she mentally recalls what she knows of NAS locations.

"Oceana… wait, that's the one in Virginia?"

"Yeah."

Veronica blinks. "As in, you're  _moving_  to Virginia?"

He nods sheepishly. "Uh huh."

"For three years?"

"Well, two-and-a-half by the time I get there."

"Same difference," she mutters, still trying comprehend the news. "When?"

"SFTI training starts in January and it lasts nine weeks… so I'll be assigned to Oceana sometime in March."

"Right…" she mutters faintly, his words still sinking in. "Well, okay, then."

"Veronica…"

She closes her eyes for a moment, collecting her thoughts. Taking a deep breath, she opens them, looks right at Logan. "I guess we're moving to Virginia, then."

"Wait…" He frowns, looking confused. "You're okay with this?"

Veronica presses her lips together, internally screaming,  _Of course I'm not fucking okay with it! My life is_ here _, in Neptune… I don't want to leave!_

Aloud, however, she says, "Logan, you're my husband. We're in this together."

"Really?" He seems surprised.

"Well, I'm certainly not doing the long-distance thing again," she says, tone biting even as she tries to suppress it. "Not when you're home. Not for three  _fucking_  years."

Logan's shoulders slump in resignation. "You're upset."

She can't hold it in any longer. "Damn fucking right I'm upset, Logan. What right do they have to decide our futures, huh? To uproot our lives like this?"

"Veronica, it's not…" he says helplessly, seeming to struggle to form a suitable response. "They don't… I have to go where they need me."

Logan exhales heavily, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

"Look, you knew what you were signing up for when we got back together, when we got married." he says, "You knew this could happen."

Veronica sits back in her chair, defeated. He's right.

"I know. And I understand, I do," she tells him. "Doesn't mean I have to like it."

"I don't like it either, Veronica," returns Logan, tone almost frustrated now. "If I could stay in Neptune, I would, but it doesn't work that way in the Navy. This is the life I chose, remember?"

"I know that." She sighs, still trying to get her head around this. "I'm not mad at  _you_ , Logan. I'm mad at the situation. But like you said: I knew what I was signing up for."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise. It's not your fault." Veronica shakes her head, trying to dismiss the negative thoughts and focus on the positives. "Look, we've barely spent any time together since we got married. I'm not gonna spend the next three years only seeing you every few weeks. So, if you're posted to Virginia, then we move to Virginia. Together."

"Okay." A soft smile appears on his face as he reaches across the table, squeezing her hand in his. "Thank you."

"Yeah." She squeezes back, forcing a smile, hoping it will make her feel even a little bit enthusiastic about the prospect of moving to the other side of the country.

* * *

"Are you  _sure_  you're okay with this?" asks Logan into the darkness of their room later that night.

"We're a family now; where you go, I go." murmurs Veronica, staring up at the ceiling, hands resting on her abdomen.

"But I mean, your life is here, much more than mine is," he says, from the same position beside her. "I come and go all the time, but your job, your dad, Mac, Wallace, they're all here… I don't want to take you away from them."

"I've left Neptune before," she says reasonably. "I spent nine years away."

"I know." He gives a sigh, like he thinks she's just saying what he wants to hear. "But you weren't happy. Not really."

At his morose tone, Veronica turns on her side, supporting her hand under her cheek as she faces him. Logan does the same, though she can only just make out his features in the dark.

"You're right, I wasn't," she admits. "But that was different, Logan. I wasn't happy because something was missing from my life…  _you_  were missing."

"Veronica…" Logan reaches out, runs his fingers along her cheek, then rests his palm against her skin.

"Look, I don't  _want_  to leave Neptune," she says softly. "In an ideal world, you wouldn't go anywhere and we would just stay here forever." She turns her head, kisses his palm. "But we don't live in an ideal world. You could be stationed anywhere and I have to accept that."

"I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to," he tells her solemnly.

"What I want is to be with  _you_ ," she says firmly. "And if that means living in Virginia for a couple years, then I can accept that."

In the shadows, she can make out Logan's mouth curling into a smile. He leans forward, hand sliding to the back of her neck, and kisses her. She responds in kind.

"Thank you," he whispers softly, when he pulls back a little. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Veronica reaches up, runs her fingers through his hair. "The last few months without you were so hard, and I'm not gonna go through that again anytime soon, not when I don't have to. I refuse to."

"Me, too," he agrees. "And you know, if the situation was reversed, I would do the same."

"I know."

He leans in closer, nuzzles her nose, his hand sliding down her back and pulling her close, as his mouth meets hers once more. She moves willingly, her leg hooking over his as he rolls so she's lying beneath him. Her hands slide along his shoulders, down over his back, palms flat and fingers splayed, covering as much of his skin as she can, savouring his warmth. He travels down her body, hands pushing up her tank top, cupping her breasts, before sliding beneath the sheet and tugging her underwear down.

Veronica closes her eyes as he kisses and caresses and licks at her sensitive flesh until she's coming apart beneath his tongue. Her fingers comb through his hair, her breath quickening, sounding harsh in the quiet of the room as he expertly brings her to climax. God, she loves him so much, she thinks absently as waves of pleasure crash over her. She needs him, needs to have him close, doesn't ever want to let him go.

Before she has time to fully recover, he's sliding back up her body, reaching for protection, and then he's right  _there_ , sliding inside, movements focused and unhurried as he tenderly makes love to her like she's the most precious thing in the world. The sheer emotion of it brings tears to her eyes.

* * *

"So, what are you going to do?" asks Mac at work the next day.

"I don't know." Veronica gives a helpless shrug from the couch, where she's made herself comfortable, unable to concentrate on cases right now. "My life is here. Mars Investigations is here. I don't want to leave."

"But?" Mac prompts, seeming to sense her hesitation.

"But I love Logan," she says helplessly. "He's my husband and I need to be with him, I want us to live  _together_  for a change."

Veronica sighs, running a hand through her hair.

"God, Mac, it's hard enough doing the long-distance thing when he's deployed." She shakes her head. "I'm not willing to do it while he's home too. And it's not like he can leave the Navy; he still has almost three years of mandatory service left. Not that I'd want him to do that anyway."

It's true; as difficult as it is when he deploys, Logan's finally found a purpose in life, a career he's good at, a career he loves. She'd never forgive herself if she made him give it up for her.

"In that case, it sounds like you've already made up your mind," says Mac softly.

"Yeah. I think I have." Veronica nods. Mac's right. When it comes down to it, there's no debate here, not really. "I need to put our relationship first. I made the mistake of not doing that in the past and it only ended in tears."

Mac leans forward, crossing her arms on the desk. "I get it, you need to do what's best for you, and for your marriage. We'll all miss you like crazy here, but if you need to go to Virginia, then go. Life doesn't begin and end in Neptune, you know."

"I know. I mean, I've left before and survived." She leans back against the cushions, resting her hands over her stomach as she looks up at the ceiling. "I just gotta figure out what I'm going to do with myself for two-plus years in Virginia."

Mac frowns thoughtfully. "Well, you've got your full PI licence again now…."

"I do," Veronica confirms.

She'd completed the required 3,000 hours of PI work over two years a few months ago and had retaken the PI exam as soon as she could, this time matching her father's score of 97%.

"So, keep investigating," says Mac simply. "You could open up a PI agency on the East Coast."

"Yeah, maybe," she murmurs, mulling over the suggestion. It's not bad. "I'd have to check the PI licencing laws in Virginia, though."

It's a good idea, she has to admit, it's just that she's not sure she can see herself going it alone, being a PI without her father's support and advice or Mac's incredible computing skills… and without being in Neptune.


	3. Chapter 3

**Late December 2018**

Veronica stands at the kitchen island, surveying the scene before her with a smile. It's Christmas Eve and she and Logan are hosting a festive gathering at their beachfront house. Over by the French doors, her dad is deep in conversation with Marcia Langdon—the two of them started dating a few months ago and have been practically attached at the hip ever since—while her mom and Hunter are playing with Pony in front of the fireplace. Sarah, Chaos and Dick are relaxing on the couch, and Logan's sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, playing with Ava, who has now rediscovered her previous affection for him.

Veronica, meanwhile, has enlisted Mac and Wallace to help her clean up the kitchen, though she's not exactly concentrating on the task at hand. Instead, her gaze is fixed on Logan and Ava, a warm smile on her face as she observes them together. They're playing with Ava's toy airplanes—the toddler's latest fascination—and they're just adorable to watch together.

"That's a cute scene," says Mac, stopping beside her, dishcloth in hand.

"It is." She agrees with a nod, as she absently wipes down the counter top.

"Who'd have thought it, huh?" adds Wallace from behind them. "Logan Echolls is good with kids."

"Yeah, he is." Veronica can feel Mac's eyes on her, and she fidgets under her friend's scrutiny. "What?"

"You're thinking about it, aren't you?"

Veronica feigns innocence. "Thinking about what?"

"Babies."

Mac is looking at her with an indulgent smile and Veronica shrugs self-consciously. "Maybe."

"Really?" That comes from Wallace. "Since when?"

Veronica shrugs. "For a while now. But Logan's been gone the last few months... so, you know, nothin' happening there."

"Well," says Wallace after a moment, looking thoughtful, "you know, if it's what you want..."

"Yeah…"

Veronica focuses on Logan once more; he's telling Ava what the different parts of the plane do. He seems in his element and a pang of longing hits her out of nowhere as she finds herself picturing him doing the same with a little girl or boy of their own.

_God, Veronica, when did you become such a sap?_

Logan looks up, catching her eye. He smiles one of those sweet, closed-mouthed smiles of his, his eyes dancing, and Veronica smiles back. He hands Ava the plane he's been demonstrating with and stands up, making his way around the kitchen island and coming to a stop in front of her.

"Hey."

"Hey, yourself," she replies, lifting her chin as he leans down for a kiss.

He nods towards the guests in the living room. "Good turnout, huh?"

"Yup," she agrees. "I'm actually surprised everyone's getting on so well."

"I know." He grins. "It's weird."

"I'm gonna miss all this," she admits softly. "When we leave."

"I'm sorry," he says, the apology almost automatic now, given the number of times he's said it over the last few weeks. "But you've still got a couple months left here."

"True."

They've agreed that it's not practical for her to go with him to Nevada for the SFTI training, given it's only for nine weeks and the base is out in the middle of nowhere. So, Veronica's going to stay in Neptune while Logan trains in Nevada, and they'll see each other when they can. It's not the ideal solution, but she'd be so bored there anyway, and this way she can continue working in Neptune for a couple more months.

"And, you know, it's not like we'll be gone forever." He smiles, running the back of his knuckles along her cheek.

"I know." They've both agreed that this relocation to Virginia is only going to be temporary; that they plan to return to Neptune when it's over.

Veronica's eyes move to Ava, who is sitting in her father's lap now, before shooting Mac and Wallace a meaningful look. They get the hint, quickly making themselves scarce, and Veronica looks up at Logan again, gathering her nerves for what she wants to say.

"I've been thinking…" she starts, a little hesitant.

"Do tell." Logan smiles down at her, slipping his arms around her waist as Veronica's hands come to rest on his biceps

"You're really great with Ava," she says. "A total natural."

His smile widens. "Thanks. So are you, you know. Sarah says you were a Godsend while Chaos was gone."

"Not sure I'd go that far, but that does kind of lead me into what I wanted to say." She sucks in a breath. "Logan, I think it's time."

"Time?"

"To have a baby."

"You—I…" He stops, just staring at her for a long moment, mouth opening and closing. "Wait, are you sure?"

Veronica nods, though her heart is pounding, the confession bringing her out of her comfort zone—a place she's not fond of. "I am."

"Wow…" The breath leaves him in a rush.

"You sound surprised," she says, "but you know I've been thinking about it since last year… and the last few months, helping Sarah, seeing Ava become her own person... well, it's been on my mind a lot lately. Think about it, Logan; it's kind of the perfect time. I mean, three years with no deployments... you wouldn't miss anything. I wouldn't have to worry about you not being here."

"A very good point," he concedes with a smile, before studying her seriously. "But are you absolutely sure about this? I mean with my training, and then Virginia… I don't want you to regret it later."

"I'm sure," she says firmly. And she means it, she really does. "Watching you with Ava just now… it hit me, you know? How much I want what Chaos and Sarah have. I want us to have a family of our own."

"I want that too," he says softly.

"And yeah, okay, it's not ideal that you'll be in Nevada and then we'll be living in Virginia," she admits, "but I also I don't want to miss my chance because we kept waiting for a more convenient time."

"Yeah, I get that." Logan nods. "I just don't want you to feel like it's something you have to do, especially not because of me. If you don't want kids, we won't have them. I'm not going to pressure you into anything."

"I know that, Logan," she assures him. It's true; he would never force her into anything just because he wanted it. He's not that kind of guy. "This is all my decision, okay? I want this."

"Okay, then," he agrees easily, his eyes sparkling with happiness. "Let's do it. Let's have a baby."

He grins widely, and Veronica can't help but return it.

Logan's grin quickly turns into a leering smirk as he leans in close, and says, "You wanna get started right now? 'Cause you know I'm up for it."

Veronica tries to be discreet as she glances downward. "Oh, I bet you are, but, we have guests, remember?"

"Spoilsport." He pouts playfully.

"Who's a spoilsport?"

Logan visibly startles at the intrusion, straightening up and schooling his features as Keith appears beside them.

"No one," says Veronica, suppressing a smile at Logan's discomfort. "What's up, Pops?"

"Just wanted to say thank you for the wonderful meal this evening," he says. "You've outdone yourself, Veronica."

"It wasn't just me," she says quickly. "The others helped, too."

"I can attest to that," Logan adds. "She had me peeling and chopping all afternoon."

"Well, the food was delicious," Keith says. "Look, it's been a lovely evening, but Marcia and I are going to call it a night."

"Okay, no worries." She steps away from Logan, reaching out to give her father a hug. "Thanks for coming, Dad."

"I'll see you both tomorrow for Christmas Dinner?"

"Of course, Keith," Logan speaks up this time. "We'll be over at noon."

"Come on." Veronica holds out one arm to her dad in invitation. "I'll walk you to the door."

* * *

It doesn't take long after Keith and Marcia leave for the others to head home too, trickling out in twos and threes, eventually leaving Logan and Veronica alone except for Pony, who's decided she's had enough for the night and has fallen fast asleep in her bed.

Veronica locks the front door and turns to face Logan. "So..."

"So..." Logan lips twitch, though his expression turns dark, lustful.

Veronica swallows, licking her lips, heart beginning to pound. The look in his eyes is... well, let's just say that whenever he looks at her like  _that_ , she ends up thoroughly satisfied.

"You wanna...?" He tilts his head toward their bedroom.

"Oh, I wanna. Come on." She grins, grabbing his hand and dragging him down the hall.

When they reach the bedroom, she kicks the door shut and, pressing her hand against his chest, walks him backward to the bed. The back of his legs hit the mattress and he sits down abruptly, leaning back on his hands as Veronica climbs onto his lap.

"I've wanted to do this all evening," she admits as she unbuttons his shirt. "There's just something about seeing a man being all adorable with a kid."

"Yeah?" He raises an eyebrow, giving her a lazy grin.

"Uh, huh." She nods, biting her lip as she slides her hands inside his shirt, running her fingers over the planes of his abs. "Definitely."

His grin widens, eyes darkening with lust. "Good to know."

"Gets me all hot and bothered," she teases, fingers creeping lower, brushing against the bulge in his jeans. "Makes me wanna do unspeakable things to you."

"Fuck, Veronica…" He groans, sitting up straight, his hands coming to her hips.

"Nuh, uh." She shakes her head, removing his hands and pushing his upper body down onto the mattress. "I'm in charge tonight."

He tuts. "So bossy."

"You love it."

"I do," he agrees with a nod. "Gets  _me_  all hot and bothered."

"Oh, I know," she murmurs, as she pulls her shirt over her head and tosses it to the floor.

Logan tries to reach for her again, but she slaps his hands away with a stern look. He sighs, clenching his fists against the bedspread instead.

"So, now that I have you at my mercy," she says conversationally, running one finger down the centre of his chest to his stomach, "what shall I do with you?"

"Whatever you like," he says, swallowing, his voice strained. "I'm game."

"Really?" she leans forward, reaching for his wrists and pushing his arms up to the sides of his head, towering over him. "Anything?"

"Anything," he returns with a leering smirk.

"Hmm," she muses, debating the options. "Let's see... reverse cowgirl?"

"If you like."

"69?"

"Sure," he agrees easily.

"How about a blindfold and handcuffs? I'll tie you up and have my wicked way with you."

"Bondage?" He raises an eyebrow. "Kinky."

She considers it for a moment, but then stretches forward, fingers entwining with his on the mattress, as she presses herself against him, kissing him softly.

"Actually," she murmurs against his lips, "I think I like it better just like this."

"Okay."

"But don't think you're getting off easy..." she murmurs. "Once these clothes are off, you're doing all the work."

"Oh, I am?"

"Uh, huh."

She kisses him again, then releases his hands and sits up, reaching back and unclasping her bra. It slips from her shoulders and she smiles when Logan sucks in a breath in response, his gaze fixed on her chest. Sliding off his lap, she unfastens his jeans and he lifts his hips so she can ease them and his boxers off. She makes quick work of his socks, then tugs off the rest of her clothes.

Logan shrugs out of his shirt and slides further up the mattress, settling against the pillows. Veronica grins, climbing back onto the bed, crawling up until she's straddling his hips. As she leans forward and grabs his hands again, resuming their previous position, his arousal brushes against her inner thigh. She sucks in a shuddering breath, internal muscles clenching in anticipation, and lowers her mouth to his as she lifts her hips, ready to take him inside.

"Uh, honey?" Logan murmurs against her mouth.

"Yes, sweetie?" she responds, breaking the kiss, her voice tinged with faux pleasantness. She knows that tone; he only uses pet names when he either wants something or he's done something wrong.

"If you're gonna make me do all the work, I'm gonna need my hands free," he says, amused. "Otherwise we're not gonna get anywhere."

"Okay. Fine. Have it your way." She makes a show of rolling her eyes as she disentangles her fingers from his, and places her hands on the mattress for support.

"Thank you, sugarpuss." His voice is tinged with sarcasm.

He grins, bringing one hand to her neck and pulling her down for a kiss as his other hand slips between their bodies and guides himself to her entrance.

Veronica sighs against his mouth at the feel of him pressing  _right there_ , right where she needs him. Without warning, his hips lift and he thrusts up into her.

"Oh!" She gasps in surprise, lifting her head and pouting playfully. "Hey, I wasn't ready yet."

"Tough luck," he responds cheekily, running his hand down her back. He cups her bottom with both hands guiding her upwards as he pulls out, then tugs her hips back down, immediately thrusting in again. "I'm calling the shots now."

With a soft moan, Veronica pushes herself up to a sitting position, closing her eyes and biting her lip as the change in position pushes him even deeper inside her. For only the second time ever, there's no barrier between them and it feels incredible.

Opening her eyes, she schools her features into some semblance of a serious expression. "Hey, what happened to foreplay, huh? You can't just start fucking someone without proper preparation."

"Oh, I think you're plenty prepared already." Logan visibly tries not to smirk as he slides a finger between her wet folds. Veronica can't help moaning louder this time as tendrils of pleasure shoot through her. "And fucking? I'm sorry, I thought I'd signed up for 'making love'. If that's not what this is, I want my money back."

Veronica shakes her head. "Sorry, no refunds on the Mars Pleasure Train."

At that, Logan actually laughs out loud, free and unrestrained.

" _Mars Pleasure Train_?" His tone is incredulous. "Oh my God."

Veronica doesn't even feel embarrassed for saying it, because truthfully, it makes her happy to see laughing him like this again. He's been so tense the last couple months, since he came home, that anything which makes him laugh so freely can only be a good thing.

So, she shrugs unapologetically and grins down at him. "It's one wild ride."

He doesn't say anything, just stares up at her, the amusement in his eyes turning to something else, something more intense.

When he finally speaks, his voice is tight with emotion. "God, I love you."

The serious turn in the conversation has Veronica swallowing down her own emotions. She gives him a gentle smile, leaning forward until her bare chest is pressing against his and their lips are barely an inch apart.

"I love you, too," she replies softly, meaningfully. "I want everything with you."

"I want everything with  _you_ ," he whispers.

Their eyes remain locked as he lifts his head and captures her lips with his. A tingle shoots up her spine as the emotional connection between them deepens. The fun and games over for now, Logan rolls so she's pinned beneath him, breaking the kiss and gazing down at her intensely as he pushes inside her again. Their eyes remain locked as he thrusts, slowly, purposefully, until she's practically begging… for  _more_ … for  _harder_ … for  _faster_. His palm slides down the outside of her thigh, curling around the back of her leg and pulling her knee up toward her chest, opening her further, allowing him to thrust even deeper.

_Oh, God… yes. Right there. Just like that. Fuck me, Logan._ The words are right there on the tip of her tongue, but it seems inappropriate to say them out loud right now. The only sounds in the room are their gasps of breathless pleasure and speaking would only break this incredibly intense, crazily beautiful moment between them.

So she stays silent, instead hooking her leg over his lower back, one hand pressed against his side and the other gripping the pillow beside her head as he brings her closer and closer to climax… until she tips right over the edge, panting and gasping, back arching and body shaking.

"It's after midnight," Veronica murmurs softly into the dark bedroom as they snuggle up together, relaxed and sated. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas." Logan smiles, kissing the top of her head as his fingers stroke along her arm. He gives a contented sigh. "God, that was fucking amazing."

"Yeah, it was." Her voice is soft, dreamy and it makes him smile wider.

His hand drifts to her stomach. "Hey, you think we made a baby just now?"

"I doubt it," she says bluntly.

"What?" His brows crease in a puzzled frown. "Why not?"

She gives a small, soft chuckle. "Because we only decided to start trying two hours ago. And I took my pill about twelve hours before that. It's too soon."

"Oh."

"Yeah." She nods, then pats his chest. "That was just a practice run."

"Like we need a practice run," he jokes, then, glancing at the small, fake Christmas tree over on the dresser, changes the subject. "Hey, this Christmas is gonna be great, right? 'Cause last year should have been amazing, and yet…"

"I know," she says softly, running her fingers across his skin. "I'm sorry about last year."

It should have been the perfect Christmas; their first holiday season together. The year before, he'd been deployed, stuck on the ship, and they hadn't been together over Christmas back in high school or college. So, it should have been great... but then, as usual, things hadn't quite gone as planned. The whole week leading up to the holidays had been so stressful, what with Veronica having a busy caseload, the wedding being only a few weeks away, and Logan's training schedule ramping up in advance of his upcoming deployment. They'd been so busy preparing for all of it, that celebrating Christmas had been pushed to the wayside.

Veronica hadn't even dug out the decorations until a few days before, he'd had to work late on Christmas Eve, and to make matters even worse, on Christmas Day, Veronica got food poisoning from the take-out they'd ordered the night before, and he spent the morning in the ER with her, followed by an afternoon and evening of holding her hair back and making sure she kept her fluids up by drinking those gross rehydration concoctions.

"You have nothing to apologise for," he tells her. "It wasn't your fault."

"I know, but I still feel terrible for ruining our Christmas."

"It wasn't ruined," he says softly. "I got to spend it with you. That beats all the other Christmases combined."

"Aww, such a sweet-talker." She lifts her head, resting her chin on his chest and grinning up at him. "You know, you don't have to suck up to me anymore; I already married you."

"It's not sucking up if it's true," he says, returning the grin.

"No?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Nope." He shakes his head. "And I'm standing by that."

Veronica leans in for a kiss before settling back down beside him.

"I'm gonna make sure this is the best Christmas you've ever had," he tells her determinedly, "even if I have to sell my soul to do it."

Veronica reaches up and pats his cheek this time. "Aww, my hero."

* * *

The next evening Logan sits on Keith's sofa, Veronica curled up beside him, both of them pleasantly full from the large Christmas Dinner they tucked into a couple hours earlier. Marcia, Dick, Lianne and Hunter joined them for lunch too, which was an odd bunch for sure, but Marcia has no family in the area, Lianne and Hunter travelled up from Arizona especially for the holidays, and Dick has pretty much no family to speak of anymore, so Logan asked Keith if he could join them too.

"Okay, you were right," says Veronica, her head resting against Logan's shoulder. They're alone in the house for a few minutes while Keith gives Marcia a ride home.

"Damn straight I was," he states immediately, giving an affirmative nod, then pauses. "Right about what?"

He sees Veronica smile from her position tucked against his side as she reaches for his hand, resting on his thigh, and links her fingers with his. "This Christmas."

"Really?" He grins. "Best you've ever had, huh?"

"Well, it's right up there."

"Right up there?" he echoes incredulously. "What could be better than a champagne breakfast in bed, Christmas hot tub nookie, an array of presents and a hearty meal with family and friends?"

"Ah, see, we didn't watch The Year Without a Santa Claus this morning," she says. "It's a life-long tradition in the Mars household."

Logan suppresses a smirk. "You're telling me that you would have forsaken an extremely satisfying morning in the hot tub for The Year Without a Santa Claus?"

"Of course."

"Seriously?" He shifts so he can see her better. "You really would have turned me down for a kids movie?"

"Actually, I would have moved the TV into the bathroom and watched while we were in the tub."

"Now, that's just weird." Logan wrinkles his nose in distaste, though an idea comes to him. "Hey, you know what, why don't we watch it now?"

Veronica frowns. "But it's not on now."

Logan stifles a chuckle. "Uh, Veronica, it's called On Demand for a reason."

"Right. Of course." Her cheeks flush adorably as she sits up. "You mind if Dad joins us when he gets back? We always used to watch it together."

"Sure," he agrees easily.

"Great." Veronica smiles, moving to stand. "I'm gonna grab something to eat while we're waiting. You want popcorn?"

"Sounds good."

As she heads into the kitchen, Logan locates the remote and turns on the TV and selects the On Demand menu. He has to chuckle when he sees Keith has already recorded the movie on TIVO, no doubt with the same idea in mind.

Keith arrives home just as Veronica reappears in the living room, carrying a bowl of freshly-popped popcorn, a bag of chips and a large bottle of Skist.

"Hey, Dad," she grins when Keith raises an eyebrow at the food, clearly wondering why they need even more food. "We're gonna watch The Year Without a Santa Claus. You wanna join?"

"Ah, you read my mind." Keith smiles, shrugging out of his jacket and hanging it by the front door. "I was hoping you'd watch with me tonight."

Logan grins, pointing to the screen. "Yeah, he even has it right here on TIVO."

"Should've known," quips Veronica playfully as she takes a seat.

They settle down together on the sofa to watch, Veronica in the middle, holding the popcorn bowl, with Keith and Logan on either side. It doesn't take long for the bowl to be set aside though, and for Veronica to snuggle up to Logan again. He slips an arm around her without hesitation and relaxes back against the cushions. There was a time when he felt awkward being affectionate with Veronica in her father's company, and it took getting married for it to really sink in that Keith has accepted him completely. Now, though, it feels pretty great to be part of a close family unit like theirs.

Logan can't help giving a chuckle when Veronica and Keith start singing along to the Snow Miser and Heat Miser songs, playing off each other as they do so. He never experienced Christmases like this as a child; his parents were too busy holding lavish parties and 'making good impressions' to bother sitting down for any fun, family time with their kids. As he watches his wife and father-in-law really getting into the Christmas spirit, Logan vows to make sure all their future holidays are filled with love and laughter and family.

Veronica notices him smirking at her antics and asks quizzically, "What?"

Logan shakes his head, shooting her a grin. "Nothing."

"Okay…"

When Keith's attention has turned back to the movie, he lowers his mouth to Veronica's ear and murmurs softly, "Hey, you think this time next year we'll have a new addition to watch with us?"

Veronica turns her head, giving him a tender smile. "Maybe. I hope so."

Logan dips his head for a quick kiss. "I do, too."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your comments and kudos - they are all very much appreciated :).

**January 2019**

Veronica sits on the bed, Pony curled up beside her, watching Logan move fluidly around the bedroom, reaching for various articles of clothing and folding them neatly into his military-issue duffle bag.

"I can't believe I have to say goodbye to you again," she says, her fingers stroking the dog's soft, silky fur.

"I know, I'm sorry," Logan replies, as he strides into the bathroom, reappearing a couple of moments later with a can of deodorant and his toothbrush. "But it's only for a few weeks, and it's not like it's a deployment; we'll see each other whenever we can. And we can talk or message anytime."

"Yeah, I know." She nods. "But it's our anniversary in two weeks, and we're not even gonna be in the same state."

She sighs with frustration, annoyance building until she can't keep it in any longer.

"Logan, I'm fed up of not being able to celebrate all the important things with you." She tries not to let him hear the slight wobble in her voice as she continues, "In the last three years, you've been away for two of your birthdays, one of mine, one Christmas, two Easters, two 4th of July's, one Thanksgiving… and we're about to spend our first  _wedding_  anniversary apart too."

He stops, putting down the shirt he's in the middle of folding, and slides onto the bed beside her.

"I know. It really sucks. I didn't want to miss any of those either." He reaches for her hand. "Look, I'll see what I can do about coming home in two weeks, okay? I'll try to swing a flight back for the weekend. Hell, I'll even hire a plane and fly it myself if I have to."

Veronica blinks, touched. "You'd do that?"

A slow smile spreads across his face as his hand slides around the back of her neck. He leans forward, dropping a kiss to her forehead.

"Of course I would," he says softly. "We'll spend it together, I promise."

She smiles with relief, before holding up a finger in warning. "I'm gonna hold you to that."

"It's nine weeks, Veronica," he says. "What's nine weeks to us, huh?"

The soft smile on his face shows he remembers exactly when he said similar words to her before and Veronica can't help returning the smile.

"Epic, right?"

"Epic." Logan agrees, grinning fully now, tilting his head down so their foreheads are touching, his fingers gently massaging her neck. "Years. Continents. All that."

"Don't forget the bloodshed."

"Or those pesky ruined lives."

She nods solemnly. "Nope, can't forget those either."

"No," he agrees, kissing her once more. "Love you."

"Love you, too."

He pulls back, sliding off the bed and reaching for the shirt again, folding it and placing it in his bag. Veronica goes back to watching in silence as he finishes packing, her eyes following his movements.

When he finally zips the bag closed, she slides off the bed, leaving Pony to get comfortable, and without a word, takes his hand and leads him into the bathroom. He doesn't question it, just follows obediently, following her lead as she turns on the shower, then pulls her top over her head.

They undress in silence, understanding passing between them, and step under the hot, steaming flow of water together. Logan wastes no time in reaching for her, pulling her against him. She goes willingly, arms sliding around his back, forehead dropping to his chest. They stand together under the spray for a moment and Veronica savours the embrace, but it's not long before Logan's hands begin to wander, cupping her bottom as his head dips, mouth finding her neck.

"You know, I have to leave soon," he mumbles against her skin. "We don't have much time."

"I know, but we should make the most of it," Veronica mumbles, tilting her head to give him more access. "Before the dry spell."

He chuckles, lifting his head to grin down at her. "We've been making the most of it for the last two weeks. I'm surprised you're not fed up with all the sex yet."

"With you? Never," she declares.

"Good answer."

"So now we've established that, what are you waiting for?" she baits. "I need to be ravished, Lt. Echolls."

"Geez, so demanding." Logan's fingers squeeze into her flesh, pressing her lower body firmly against his, making her gasp in response.

"And I make no apologies for it," Veronica responds, moving her hands to his shoulders, using them as leverage to jump up, her legs coming around his waist.

Logan smiles predatorily as he adjusts his grip on her, lifting her hips into position. Veronica's eyes slide closed involuntarily as he slides inside; it feels amazing: skin on skin. It's been two weeks since they stopped using protection and she's still not quite used to it yet. Logan's the only person she's been with like this—that she's consciously aware of anyway, but she chooses not to think about that night at Shelley's party—and that only makes every time with him even more special.

He wasn't lying—they have been doing it  _a lot_ in the last two weeks—partly because they don't know how often they'll be together over the next couple of months and they might as well get a head start on the whole baby-making thing, but also because Veronica just can't seem to get enough of him right now. Maybe it's hormones, maybe it's some weird primitive drive inside her... or maybe it's because it just feels so damn _good._

"Hey..." Logan's voice pulls her from her thoughts and she turns her attention to him. He supports her back against the shower wall so he can slip a finger beneath her chin and says softly, "You're in your head. Everything okay?"

"Yeah." Veronica gives him a genuine smile, sliding her arms around his neck and leaning up for a kiss. "Everything's great."

 

* * *

 

True to his word, twelve days later, Logan is back on a plane to San Diego from Nevada. There was too much lying snow between the base and Reno to risk driving to the airport and flying commercial, but he wasn't going to let Veronica down. He eventually managed to talk his way onto a military passenger flight heading back to North Island Friday evening and returning Sunday night.

"So, how was the rest of this week?" Veronica asks as she drives them back up to Neptune after meeting him at the base.

They haven't spoken since Tuesday because his flights have been scheduled for late in the day and she's been snowed under with casework and stake-outs.

Logan lets his head fall back against the headrest as he exhales heavily. "Intense. Exhausting. You know, it's  _nothing_  like in the movie."

"I know, you've been telling me that for years."

"There are no topless volleyball games on the beach…" he continues, pausing as he debates what he just said, "... or you know, in the desert. There's no singing in bars, no sexy civilian instructors—"

"Careful," warns Veronica, though there's a smile tugging at her lips.

"Sorry, Bobcat," he placates playfully, "you know you're the only sexy civilian I want instructing me."

"That's better." She shoots him a smile, before turning back to the subject. "So it's tough? Are you regretting it?"

"God, no. Not at all," he says immediately. "It's fucking Top Gun, Veronica."

"I know." She smiles, her eyes staying on the road.

"Just gotta take in in my stride," he adds, unable to stifle a yawn.

"If you're tired, take a nap." Veronica says. "I have big plans for tonight; you're gonna need your strength."

Logan gives a chuckle. "I am, huh?"

"It's been almost two weeks… you bet you are."

Silence falls between them as Logan considers asking a question that's been on his mind the last few days. He decides to just go for it. "Hey, so, any news on the, uh, baby front? You haven't mentioned it in a while."

Veronica shakes her head. "No, nothing yet. But you know, it can take a couple of months after coming off the pill for anything to happen. Let's just see how it goes, yeah?"

"Okay." He nods in understanding. "Let's do that."

He still hasn't completely got his head around the fact they're really doing this; trying to have a baby. Those couple of weeks before he left for Nevada were a whirl of holiday celebrations and fun… they didn't exactly have much time to think about the reality of it all.

"Great," says Veronica. "Besides, we're not gonna have much opportunity to try over the next few weeks."

Logan smiles widely. "Well, we'll just have to spend all the time we have in bed."

"Or in the shower," she counters with a mischievous grin.

"On the sofa."

"Kitchen counter."

"The beach."

"Oh, eww, no." Veronica shakes her head vehemently. "Remember the last time we tried that? I got sand in places I'd rather not mention. I was sore for days afterwards."

"Yeah, I remember." He winces, reconsidering. "Okay, not the beach, then."

"I'm sure we'll find an alternative."

"Yeah, we will." He nods in agreement.

The conversation comes to a natural end then, so Logan settles back in the passenger seat of Veronica's SUV and allows himself to doze for a while, the stress of the last couple of weeks catching up with him. He doesn't wake until Veronica pulls up outside their house. And he's glad he got the rest because the minute they get inside and Logan's said a quick hello to an excited Pony, Veronica grabs him and pulls him into the bedroom for some much-needed lovemaking.

 

* * *

 

Midday on Saturday finds the gang gathering at Logan and Veronica's for a barbecue. The first to arrive is Dick, carrying a six-pack and a bag of chips. With a quick hello to Veronica, he heads out back to help Logan get the grill started. Veronica's just removing a batch of blueberry muffins from the oven when Mac and Wallace show up, armed with potato salad and a large apple pie, followed by Chaos and Sarah a couple of minutes later. As Chaos and Wallace grab some drinks and head outside to catch up with Logan, the girls stay in the kitchen to help Veronica with the side dishes and desserts.

"So?" Mac leans on the counter, raising her eyebrows expectantly.

"So... what?" says Veronica as she extracts the muffins from the tin and places them on a cooling rack.

"So, what's it like being married to a Top Gun pilot?"

"He's only just started the training, Mac," says Veronica. "I can't even answer that yet."

"Oh, please." Mac waves away her excuse. "Like you don't think it makes him even sexier."

Veronica bites her lip, glancing toward the French doors leading out to the sundeck, where she can see a glimpse of Logan standing at the grill.

"Yeah, okay… it's pretty effin' sexy," she relents. "But I'm trying not to get all swoony and gushy over it."

"Why not?" Mac frowns. "You're not worried about over-inflating Logan's ego, are you, because he seems pretty humble about it to me. And, I mean, it's not like you're an adoring fangirl; you're his wife, you're allowed to be proud of him."

"It's not that." Veronica shakes her head. "He's pretty stressed right now, and exhausted. They're working him so hard already, and he's only two weeks in. I don't want him to feel like I'll think he's a failure if he doesn't make it."

"Wow. I didn't realise it was so hard," Mac says. "You just assume it's all cool and exciting, like in the movies."

"Yeah, I know. I thought that too at first, even though Logan's always said it's totally different." Veronica sighs. "But when you see firsthand the toll it takes, it makes you realise it's not all fun and games."

"Don't I know it," pipes up Sarah. "I mean, Tim loves what he does and I'll always support him, but when you think about how dangerous and stressful it is, and that there's every chance he won't come home at all, it can really get to you. And that's just me; I hate to think what it does to him."

Veronica nods in sympathy. Logan seems to have worked through his post-deployment issues now, at least on the outside, but despite their efforts to open up to each other, she's sure there must be some things he's holding back on.

"Oh God, I'm sorry." Mac groans. "This is supposed to be a fun afternoon and I'm making it all melancholy. Let's just change the subject, okay?"

"Yeah, let's do that," Veronica agrees quickly, before fixing Mac with an impish smile. "So, Mac, how was your big date last night? We want all the details."

 

* * *

 

Out on the sundeck, Chaos, being a trained chef, has taken over the grilling duties, claiming that pampered rich boys don't have a clue how to grill steak properly. Despite being tempted to remind Chaos that he learned how to cook from him, Logan sinks into the chair beside Wallace, deciding it's easier to leave him to it.

"So, how's it's goin' at Top Gun?" Wallace asks. "Is it all shirtless volleyball and picking up hot flight instructors?"

"I wish," he quips flippantly. When Wallace shoots him a glare, he backtracks quickly, realising Veronica's best friend isn't the person to making jokes about hot women with. "Hey, I'm kidding; I'm kidding. Truth is, it's a helluva lot more intense than I thought."

"Yeah?"

"The other guys…they're the best of the best. Better than me." he continues, looking down at the drink in his hand, trying to push down his insecurities. "Some days I wonder how I even made it in."

"Aw, man, come on," Wallace says. "From what I hear, you're pretty badass in a plane."

"Got that right," Chaos pipes up from the grill, turning to point the barbecue tongs in their direction. "Mouth, you're fucking good. Don't sell yourself short."

"See?" Wallace tilts his beer bottle towards Chaos. "You know, I ran into Kevin Townsend a couple weeks ago."

"Really?" Logan blinks at the sudden change in subject. "How's he doing?"

Kevin Townsend was the kid from Neptune High that Logan helped just over a year ago. Wallace had been concerned that the boy was being abused at home, and after Dick helpfully put his foot in it by revealing that Aaron had been an abusive father, Logan had offered to talk to the kid, see if he could offer some support. By that point though, school was about to let out for the summer, so he didn't actually meet the boy until the Fall semester. It turned out Kevin had expressed an interest in aerospace engineering, so Wallace arranged for Logan to give a career talk to the senior physics class.

The idea was to try to engage with the kid, offer some encouraging support under the guise of career advice and see if he opened up on his own. It went pretty well, with Kevin expressing a keen interest in military aviation, which eventually led to Logan giving him a tour of the base and his jet. It was in the middle of the otherwise empty squadron crew room, while they were munching on candy bars, that Kevin finally admitted that he was desperate to get away from his home life and that he was considering joining the military as his way out. It was then that Logan confessed he knew what it was like, to want to get out, to need to escape, and they'd bonded over fast planes and a shared hate for fucked-up asshole fathers.

"Yeah, yeah, he's good." Wallace nods. "He's in college now. Got into ROTC—they're funding his degree."

"That's great." He nods in approval. "He finally got out."

"Yeah, he did. Seems happy, too," says Wallace. "He asked about you. I told him you'd made it to Top Gun. He was very impressed."

"Yeah?" Logan can't help but smile at that.

"God, yeah. In fact, his exact words were ' _Dude, that's fucking awesome. He's the best pilot I know_.'"

"I'm the  _only_  pilot he knows." Logan points out dryly.

"Not the point, dude." Wallace shakes his head. "That kid looks up to you. You're his inspiration; you're proof that you can overcome some Godawful, horrible shit and still make something of yourself."

Logan opens his mouth to respond, but Veronica chooses that moment to step out of the house, followed by Sarah and Mac, and perches herself on his knee.

"So, is all this delicious food we can smell ready to eat yet?" she asks, sliding an arm around his shoulder.

"Almost," Chaos replies, as Sarah joins him by the grill. "Just a couple more minutes."

"Great. I'm starving." Veronica leans over to give Logan a quick kiss before standing up again and looking down at him. "Can you help me bring the rest out?"

"Sure."

Five minutes later, side dishes are set out on the table, the steaks are done and everyone's eagerly tucking in.

"So, I have some news," states Chaos between bites.

"Yeah?" says Logan, looking up from his plate. "What's up?"

"You're gonna have company over at Oceana," says Chaos. "Turns out they're short an instructor, so they've reassigned me to Virginia."

"Seriously?" Logan breaks out into a grin. "That's great, man."

"You're all going?" Veronica directs her question to Sarah.

"Yeah." Sarah nods. "Tim has to be out there in a couple weeks, then Ava and I will fly over when we've got everything sorted out with the house."

"This is great." Veronica smiles widely. "I won't be alone in Virginia anymore."

"Hey, what am I, chopped liver?" Logan protests. "I'll be there too, you know."

"You know what I mean." She waves a hand in his direction. "I've been trying to decide what to do every day while you're working. At least Sarah, Ava and I will have each other for company."

"Aw, the gang's all breaking up," says Dick suddenly, looking between Mac and Wallace. "Looks like it's just gonna be the three of us, guys. We'll have slumber parties and get high together and—"

"Stop right there, Dick." Mac holds up a hand, glaring at him in warning.

"Yeah, I ain't slumber-partying with you, dude."

Logan smirks at Dick's crestfallen expression, before catching Veronica's gaze. Her eyes are shining with happiness as she smiles back at him, and suddenly moving to Virginia doesn't seem so bad after all.

 

* * *

 

Veronica wakes the next morning cocooned in Logan's arms. Eyes still closed, she smiles, snuggling closer, savouring the feel of being surrounded by him.

"Mmm." Logan's rumbling voice sounds in her ear as he shifts behind her, his hand flattening over her stomach, his nose pressing against the back of her neck. "Morning."

"Hmm," is all she can manage in reply.

"Happy Anniversary."

His voice is gravelly, filled with sleep, but Veronica's not surprised; after what was supposed to be a relaxing evening watching a movie turned into making out, then more than making out, on the sofa, they didn't make it to bed until after midnight, and even then, it was another two hours before they actually fell asleep.

"Happy Anniversary," she mumbles, still unwilling to open her eyes. He presses himself even closer and she adds, "If you're expecting sex right now, it's not happening, mister. You wore me out last night."

He chuckles breathily, kissing the side of her neck. "Don't worry, you wore  _me_  out, too. I'm just enjoying being close to you."

"Hmm… me, too."

"Here's an idea: let's just stay like this all day." He presses his lips to the base of her neck this time. "We'll just veg out, be lazy. We don't even have to get dressed."

"Sounds good to me."

She turns in his arms so they're face-to-face, her legs entwining with his as she kisses him properly. Of course that's the moment that Pony starts scratching at the door and lets out a low whine. Veronica groans, dropping her forehead to Logan's chest. His hand comes up to cup the back of her head, cradling her against him.

"So much for that, huh?" she mutters in disappointment.

"She wants her morning walk."

"I know."

"Hey, how about this," he suggests, "if you can take her out, I'll whip up an extra special breakfast for when you get back."

Veronica grins to herself, feeling a rush of affection towards him, before she lifts her head to look at him. "Yeah?"

"Uh huh." He returns her smile, looking gorgeous, all sleepy and rumpled, his hair sticking up all over the place. "With all the extras, just like you like."

"Mmm." She takes his chin between her thumb and forefinger and angles her face up for a kiss. "Best husband ever."

"I try." He grins.

She shifts away, sliding out of the bed and pads naked across the room, feeling Logan's eyes on her as she searches for something to wear.

She finds a shirt—the one Logan was wearing yesterday—and tugs it over her head, foregoing a bra, before good-naturedly throwing over her shoulder, "Hey, quit ogling me and go get started on that breakfast, will ya?"

With a chuckle, Logan sits up and pushes back the covers, then reaches for a pair of boxers and tugs them on. Veronica can't help giving him a once-over as he stands and gives her a salute.

"Aye, aye, ma'am."

As he saunters past her, he leans in close to her ear and whispers, "Now who's ogling?"

She tries to swat his arm, but he dodges her hand and darts toward the door, where Pony is not-so-patiently waiting for her walk on the other side.

"Come on, Pone," says Logan, pulling the door closed behind him so Pony doesn't bound right toward her. "Let's get you ready while Mommy finishes getting dressed."

 

* * *

 

Veronica returns from walking Pony to find the dining table laid and decorated with a small vase containing flowers from the driveway. In the kitchen, Logan has put on a shirt and is flipping pancakes, the aroma of the sizzling bacon in the other pan making Veronica's mouth water. She smiles, letting Pony off her leash and crossing the room. Placing her hand against his lower back, she leans up and presses a kiss to his cheek.

"Hey, you're back." He smiles. "Good walk?"

"Pony enjoyed it," she says. "I, on the other hand, was just trying to stay awake. You're a bad influence, Lt. Echolls."

He raises an amused eyebrow. "Oh,  _I'm_ a bad influence? Remind me who kept us up until two a.m. because she needed  _just one more_  orgasm, and then another, and another?"

Veronica feels her cheeks flush, though she refuses to apologise for her sexual desires. Instead, she tosses out an airy, "Gotta get 'em when I can," and turns to leave the room.

"Hey, where are you going?" he calls after her. "It's almost ready."

She stops just before she rounds the corner. "Shower. I'll be quick."

"You'd better be, otherwise this breakfast I've been slaving over for the last thirty minutes is gonna get cold," Logan calls after her as she heads down the hallway.

Veronica grins to herself as she enters the bedroom and tugs off her clothes on the way to the bathroom. True to her word, she showers quick, then runs a comb through her wet hair, and tugs on some clean clothes, before grabbing Logan's anniversary present from the closet and heading back to the kitchen.

"That  _was_  quick," Logan comments as he carries two plates laden with her favourite breakfast foods over to the table. "Here, take a seat."

"This looks amazing," she says, surveying the spread as slides onto a chair, placing her gift on the table. "Thank you."

"Anything for you, my  _darling_ ," he teases.

" _Darling_? Oh no, we're definitely not 'darling' people. That's just weird." Veronica gives a shudder of fake horror, then notices a white envelope propped against the vase in the centre of the table and smiles. "Is that for me?"

"It is," Logan confirms, then nods towards her wrapped gift. "You want to do the exchanging of gifts now?"

Veronica bites her lip, glancing between the full plates and the envelope. She's tempted, but her stomach is demanding to be fed.

"Let's eat first," she says decisively.

He grins like he was expecting that answer. "Go for it."

She tucks in, moaning with pleasure as she takes a bite of bacon, followed by a forkful of pancakes. "This is so good."

Logan chuckles. "Geez, anyone would think you hadn't eaten in a week."

She shrugs. "I've been too busy this week to actually cook breakfast. It's been coffee and cereal bars all the way."

It's not long before Veronica finishes and sits back in her chair, hand resting on her stomach.

"Man, I was hungry."

"I can tell." Logan eyes her empty plate. "You finished? There's more if you want."

"Nah, I'm stuffed."

"Okay, then." He reaches for the envelope, holds it out to her with a soft smile. "Here. Happy First Anniversary, Veronica."

"Thank you." Veronica returns the smile as she takes the envelope and turns it over. Sliding a finger beneath the flap, she pulls out a card with a silhouette of a detective and the words 'My Heart Belongs to a Private Investigator'."

"Wow." She laughs. "Nice find."

"I thought so." He grins. "Open it."

She does, frowning when she finds a smaller envelope inside. She gives him a quizzical glance, but he just gestures for her to keep going. Inside the second envelope is a single printed piece of paper. She pulls it out and her eyes widen as she reads what it says.

"What—I mean... " Looking back up at Logan in surprise, she struggles to form a coherent sentence. "Is this—?"

"Yep." He nods, his eyes dancing as he smiles. "It's an air experience flight; the first flying lesson for new trainee pilots."

"Seriously?" Veronica can't quite process this. "I'm gonna fly a plane?"

"Uh huh." His smile widens into a grin. "If you want to, that is."

Veronica looks down at it again, feeling a mix of both trepidation and excitement at the idea of flying a plane. "With you?"

"Maybe. Depends on when you can do it. It's valid for a year."

"Wow..." she murmurs incredulously. "This is just... thank you, Logan."

"My pleasure."

"God, this makes my present pale in comparison."

"I doubt that," he assures her kindly. "So, do I get to find out what it is?"

"Of course." Veronica places the card and voucher on the table and passes him her gift.

He takes it with a smile, unwrapping it to reveal the small, bound book she made for him. Veronica bites her lip, watching with anticipation for his reaction as he opens the cover. After a few moments of flipping through the pages, Logan looks up at her with an expression that she can't quite place.

"Veronica..."

"You like it?"

"This is... God..."

He looks awed and Veronica shrugs self-consciously.

"I thought you could keep it with you when you're away. To remind you of me."

With the first anniversary being Paper, Veronica spent weeks trying to figure out what she could give Logan. After conducting about a dozen Google searches and only finding standard cheesy romantic fare, she turned to Mac for advice and together, they put together a photo book filled with meaningful moments from their relationship, alongside messages she'd written to him.

"Thank you," he says sincerely.

"I mean, it's no flying lesson, but—"

"I love it," he interrupts, tracing on of the pages with his fingers. "Seriously."

"I'm glad."

He grins. "Come here."

Veronica slides off her seat and moves around the table to perch on his lap. Logan's arms come around her as he kisses her gently.

"So, Mrs. Echolls, now that we've been forced out of bed, how shall we celebrate? Anything you want."

Veronica grins mischievously. "Anything?"

"No, wait. I take that back." Logan quickly backtracks. "I don't like that look in your eye."

"Aww, you afraid of little ol' me?" she teases. "Don't worry. I'm not gonna make you do anything you don't want to."

"You better not. I'm a respected Navy officer, remember?"

"Navy officer? Yeah…" she muses. "Respected? Not so sure."

He frowns in mock offence. "Shut up."

She flashes a smile. "I love you, honey."

"Hmm, if you say so."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting a new chapter - I haven't been able to work on the story as much as I expected to this month and I realised if I continued posting weekly, I would run out of new chapters to post pretty soon. 
> 
> So, to space things out a bit, I'm posting every two weeks this month... I'll probably post chapter 6 in two weeks as well, and then hopefully I can get back to weekly updates again.

 

**February 2019**

"Hey, Veronica?" says Keith, appearing in her office door, eyes on the case file in his hands.

"What can I do ya for, Pops?" she quips, flashing him a smile. "Is the Sheriff engaging in shady business again? Oh, no, wait…  _you're_  the Sheriff's shady business."

"Very funny." He finally looks up from the file. "And the Sheriff is fine, thank you very much. I was going to ask if you'd made any headway on the Dawson case?"

"Not as much as I'd like." Veronica reaches for a thin file, holds it out to him. "Here."

Keith steps forward and takes it from her, sinking into the chair on the other side of her desk as he flips through what little there is of it.

"I did some recon earlier this week," Veronica says, "but I didn't get anything useful. He just went to a couple of normal lunch meetings."

"Well, that's disappointing."

"Tell me about it." She bobs her eyebrows in annoyance. "I thought maybe I'd try the accountant angle next, see if that works."

"Good idea." Keith returns the file to her desk, then leans back in his chair, looking at her thoughtfully.

"What?" she asks, feeling the weight of his gaze. "Something on my face?"

"No." He shakes his head.

"Okay. So…?" she prompts.

"So…what?"

She sighs. "So, why are you looking at me like that?"

He doesn't say anything, and for a moment, Veronica thinks he's not going to continue, but then he finally starts talking. "Veronica, are you sure about this move to Virginia?"

She frowns. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, it's the other side of the country."

"Dad, I lived in New York for over three years," she counters with a raised eyebrow. "I think I'll be okay. Besides, you were the one who wanted me to stay out there instead of moving home."

"I know I did, but things are different now." he says. "You're settled here; you have a great home, a job you enjoy, your friends and family nearby…"

"Dad,  _Logan's_  my family," she states firmly. "He's my husband, and that makes him the most important person in my life now." She sighs. "Look, we've been married a year already and we've only spent about three months of it together." Her voice rises as she continues, "But now we finally have the chance to start our marriage properly, without any deployments getting in the way, and I'm not going to spend that time away from him."

"Veronica…" Keith looks concerned by her sudden outburst.

She stops, taking a calming breath, before continuing more softly, "Look, Dad, I wish it wasn't Virginia; it would be so much easier if he could stay in San Diego, but it doesn't work that way." She swallows, working to keep her voice steady. "He  _has_  to go; he doesn't have a choice. But I do, and I'm choosing to go with him. Because I love him."

"I know you do." Her father's expression softens. "But Veronica, you're my daughter; I just want you to be happy."

"I am happy, Dad," she says quickly, though she can't help averting her eyes as she speaks.

She can still feel his steady gaze on her and forces herself to look back at him again. Eventually, she sighs in defeat.

"Okay, fine. I'm not completely happy," she admits, sinking back in her chair in defeat. "I  _am_  settled here. I do love our house, and this job, and having everyone close by." She gives a helpless shrug. "God, what the hell am I supposed to do in Virginia? I mean, Mac said I should set up a PI business there, which a cool idea, but I don't know… it would be hard starting from scratch, and it just wouldn't be the same without you guys. We're a great team here, you know? I don't wanna go it alone."

"Oh, honey…" Keith gives a soft sigh. "I wish I had an easy solution, but…"

"I know." She shakes her head. "I just have to grin and bear it for the next…" She does a quick mental calculation. "…two years and nine months."

Her dad looks thoughtful for a moment. "You said Tim and Sarah were heading out there too?"

"Yeah." She nods. "He flew out last week, and Sarah and Ava join him at the end of the month."

"Well, I guess that'll give you some company." He smiles encouragingly.

Veronica nods again. "I'm really glad they'll be there too. Sarah's a good friend and Ava is just the most adorable little girl." She sees Keith trying to suppress a smirk and frowns. "What?"

"Nothing." He shakes his head, then smiles widely. "Just never thought I'd see the day you went gaga over a toddler."

"Oh, ha ha." She shoots him a withering look, but he ignores it, continuing to look at her thoughtfully.

"I know it's been a while since we talked about it," he says, "but did you ever give more thought to having any of your own?"

"Dad." Veronica scoffs, waving a dismissive hand, though inside her heart is beating fast. She and Logan haven't told anyone they're trying for a baby yet. "Come on."

But her father is perceptive and she knows he can see right through it.

"Veronica…?" he asks expectantly.

"Okay, yes," she relents. "I've given it some thought— _we've_  given it some thought."

"And?"

Veronica fights the urge to roll her eyes.  _He's really not gonna give up until I spill, is he?_

"And…" She licks her lips, a knot forming in her stomach as she braces herself to say it. "We're trying for a baby."

"Oh, Veronica…" Keith sits up, breaking into a wide grin, his eyes shining with emotion. "Really? That's great news."

"Yeah." She can't help but return the smile. "It is."

His grin drops a little. "I sense a 'but' coming…"

"Yeah." She gives a soft sigh, not really wanting to verbally acknowledge the niggle that's been plaguing her for the last couple weeks. "I mean, this is our best opportunity, with Logan on shore rotation for three years. It's good timing. It's just… he's not  _here_. I've only seen him once in the last month, and who knows if we'll see each other again before March. That's not exactly conducive to baby-making."

Her father shifts in his seat, looking a little uncomfortable at the turn the conversation is taking.

"It's only for a few more weeks, though, right?" he reasons, then cringes slightly as he says the next words. "Then you'll be, uh, together, all the time."

"Yeah." She nods, purposely ignoring his unease about the subject. "It just feels like we're wasting time right now, you know?"

"Veronica, listen." Keith sits forward, expression kind. "Don't be so hard on yourself, okay? You can't plan  _everything_. If it's meant to happen, it will, and whenever that is, it'll be the right time."

"Yeah," she murmurs, nodding in agreement as she lets his words sink in. "It just feels like my life has been on hold for the last year… and just when I think it's starting to move forward again, something else gets in the way."

"I know, honey," says Keith. "But these things happen. It won't be long before Logan's back and these few weeks will be a distant memory."

"I know." She smiles. "Thanks, Dad."

"Anytime, sweetheart." He moves to stand. "But for the record, in here…" He taps his temple. "… you're still my sweet, innocent daughter, and I do not need to know  _anything_  about your sex life."

"Got it, Pops." That makes her grin, her body relaxing finally. "Thank you for listening."

"Like I said, anytime." He smiles and gives a nod of acknowledgement, before slipping out of the door.

* * *

When Veronica lets herself into her house the evening after Valentine's Day, she wants nothing more than to curl up in bed with a glass of wine and a tub of ice cream and watch a movie. It's Friday night, she feels like crap, and she's just a little pissed at Logan for being too busy to call her yesterday. In fact, all she got from him was a lousy text message. Okay, so it was actually a sweet, romantic, verging-on-naughty text message, but that's beside the point. She's in a bad mood and she needs someone to take it out on, even if it's only in her head.

Her first clue that something's up should be when Pony doesn't come to the door to greet her, but it's actually not until she notices that the table lamp in the living room is on that she realises there's someone else home. Her first thought is that her dad has dropped by—he has a spare key in case of emergencies—but his car's not outside and he usually calls first.

Her eyes widen in surprise when she rounds the corner to see Logan sitting on the sofa, Pony curled up beside him, her head in his lap as he gently strokes her head.

"Honey, I'm home," he deadpans, smiling at her as she steps into the room.

"What are you doing here?" She doesn't mean for it to come out snappy, but it does all the same. "Thought you couldn't make it back for a couple more weeks?"

He frowns, easing Pony off his lap and standing up, crossing the room to her.

"Training finished early today," he says. "And I just made it onto a last-minute flight back. I wanted to make up for not calling yesterday."

"Right," she says faintly, trying and failing to muster a suitable amount of enthusiasm.

He leans down, presses a kiss to her lips. "Happy Valentine's."

"Yeah."

He pulls back, looking confused… and a little hurt. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She shakes her head. "Happy Valentine's, Logan."

She turns toward the kitchen, but he stops her with a hand on her arm. "Hey, I know better than to believe a woman when she says nothing's wrong."

"I'm tired, Logan," she says, letting out a sigh. "And I wasn't expecting company."

"Well, gee, thanks a lot." He gives a scoff, pulling his hand back and running it through his hair. "I'm tired too, but I decided spending time with my wife was more important. I wouldn't have spent four hours getting here if I'd realised I wasn't wanted."

"Oh, fuck you, Logan," she snaps, not in the mood to deal with… well, anything tonight. "You don't get to put the blame on me. I'm not the one who just showed up out of the blue and expected me to drop everything."

This time she does head for the kitchen, brushing past him and striding straight to the freezer. She pulls out a tub of cookie dough ice cream and tugs the lid off, then retrieves a spoon, and begins digging in forcefully.

"Veronica…" Logan follows her to the kitchen area. "Please…"

"Please what, Logan?" she retorts. "You're not getting sex tonight, if that's what you're after. So you can just stop right there."

He does, halting in his tracks, his expression a mixture of surprise and concern. "Are you okay?"

She snorts. "Am I okay? Seriously, that's all you got?"

"Fine, you're obviously not okay," he relents. "What can I do?"

"You can go back to Nevada and leave me alone." She knows she's being bitchy and mean, but she just can't seem to stop the words coming out of her mouth.

"Right." He blinks, looking irked. "Well, that's not happening, so what's the second option?"

She digs angrily into the ice cream again, avoiding his gaze. "There isn't one. That's it."

He lets out a sigh and from beneath her lowered lashes, she sees him cross the room. A second later, the ice cream tub and spoon are plucked from her hands and placed on the counter beside her.

"Hey, come on. I just want to help," Logan says, tone more gentle than the tension in his body would indicate. He takes her cold hands in his, his skin warming her fingers. "Look, why don't I get the hot tub running, let the bubbles do their soothing job?"

"No, Logan…" she protests quickly. "I don't want—"

He cuts her off, "And afterwards, I'll give you a nice,  _relaxing_  massage, get rid of all that tension…"

As his tone turns seductive, she wrenches her hands from his and steps away from him. "I said no, Logan."

His jaw clenches and he takes a deep breath, then exhales slowly. "Okay, you have to talk to me, Veronica. What's going on?"

She looks up at him properly now, eyes locking with his until she feels the tell-tale prick of tears and she blinks, trying to keep them at bay.

"I've just had a horrid two days," she admits. "I'm tired, I have a headache and my stomach hurts. All I wanted to do tonight was curl up in bed with some ice cream and a movie and feel sorry for myself." She sighs, softening her tone. "So, this was about the worst moment you could have chosen to come home."

Her stomach clenches at the same time that the pain in her head worsens and she folds in on herself a little.

"Come here," Logan says gently, stepping up to her again, this time sliding his arms around her, gently rubbing up and down her back. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you weren't feeling well. You think you're coming down with something?"

"No. I'm fine." She shakes her head. "I'm just on my period."

"Ah," he says in understanding. "Hence, the headache, the tiredness… the no sex."

"It's not just that," she admits reluctantly, not wanting to verbalise it because it'll just make it real. "It also means I'm not pregnant."

Logan's hands still on her back. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"And you thought you were?"

Veronica shrugs, feeling stupid for thinking it now.

"Maybe… I wasn't sure," she says. "It's been nearly a month since we last… and I thought I was late, but then I remembered that my cycle's all screwed up from stopping the pill, so who knows what 'late' is anyway? I was feeling shitty today to start with, and realising  _that_  just pushed me over the edge. You came home in the middle of it."

"I'm sorry."

She shakes her head. "No,  _I'm_  sorry. You came all this way to see me and I'm being a bitch."

"I can take it," he murmurs, stroking the back of her hair as she lets her forehead rest against his chest.

"That's not the point," she mutters tiredly. "You shouldn't have to."

"Listen," he says, tone soothing. "Don't let me ruin your plans for the night, okay? You do whatever you were going to do. If you wanna be alone, I can make myself scarce."

"You don't have to do that." Veronica lifts her head, looking up at him, her body warming at the sight of his soft smile. "How do you feel about being an honorary girlfriend for the night? You can join me in binging on ice-cream and popcorn and The Big Lebowski."

"Sure." Logan smiles, but then adds, "But be warned, I am not engaging in any girl talk."

"Wouldn't dream of making you," she responds, feeling calmer already. "Though, on second thoughts, I might have to engage your massaging services after all, 'cause everything hurts."

"Whatever I can do to help you feel better." He nods easily, lowering his head to press a soft kiss to her lips, as his palms run up and down her back. The touch causes her to sag in relief, relaxing against him. "Why don't you go set up the movie and I'll get the popcorn and ice-cream."

"And wine, too?" She offers a pleading smile. "There's a bottle of red in the cupboard."

Logan drops a kiss to the tip of her nose. "Anything you want."

Veronica steps out of his embrace, letting a relaxed smile cross her lips as she makes her way down the hall to their bedroom.

* * *

An hour later, the ice-cream is finished, the tub discarded on the nightstand with two spoons balanced inside, and the popcorn bowl is half-empty. The movie continues to play in the background, but Veronica is fast asleep on her stomach beside him. Logan smiles down at her as he reaches across to smooth her hair back from her cheek.

When he got on the plane earlier this evening, he was envisioning a belated Valentine's celebration consisting of a weekend of extremely satisfying sex. What he got instead was a tired, irritable, and hormonal Veronica who just needed to be looked after. As soon as the ice cream was gone, and she was feeling pleasantly warm from the wine, he took matters into his own hands and made her lie down for a massage. It was only a few minutes before she drifted off to sleep under his touch.

He flicks off the TV and slides under the covers, turning on his side, propping his head on his hand as he watches her sleep. He has to admit, Valentine's isn't the only reason he wanted to come back to Neptune this weekend. Truth is, he's been having a harder time with the SFTI training than he expected and he needed some space from it. It's not just that he's training with the best pilots in the country, it's that being back in that environment again, training for air-to-air and air-to-ground warfare, is bringing back some unwanted memories—ones he thought he'd dealt with already and had moved past.

He thought getting away from the base would help to clear his head, and if he's honest, he was also hoping to talk to Veronica and seek some comfort from her, but, of course, he hadn't expected to arrive home to her own emotional meltdown.

He's pulled from his thoughts when she stirs in her sleep, turning onto her side and facing away from him. He takes the opportunity to shift closer, spooning his body around hers. His arm slips around her waist and he rests his palm over her stomach comfortingly as he drifts off to sleep.

* * *

Veronica is startled awake in the middle of the night by a moan and kick to the back of her leg. She gasps in surprise, hand coming to her chest to calm her pounding heart.

"What the—?"

She turns to find Logan tossing and turning in the bed, muttering something unintelligible in his sleep.

"Shit," she mutters.

_He's having nightmares again? Why didn't he say anything?_

He's suffered with nightmares before; it happened in those couple of months after Bilbo died, and again when he got back from this latest deployment, but he sought help, and after a few weeks they stopped and he seemed okay again. She thought he was fine now—in fact, he insisted he was—but obviously that's not the case.

Shifting onto her side, she reaches out, gently brushing his cheek with the back of her hand. From past experience, she's learned it's best not to wake him, so all she can do is offer some support and hopes it helps to relax him.

"Hey, it's okay," she murmurs softly, adjusting her position and resting her head on the pillow alongside him, so she can run her fingers through his hair. He relaxes under her touch, his movements calming somewhat, though he continues to mutter unintelligibly under his breath. "You're okay. It's just a dream."

He jerks beneath her fingers then, and for a moment, she thinks he's going to wake, but then he settles alongside her, the muttering ceasing and his breathing returning to normal. She lies with him for a few more minutes, until she's sure the nightmare is over, then presses a kiss to his forehead, before moving back to her side of the bed.

* * *

When she wakes a few hours later, the morning sunlight is streaming into their bedroom, and Logan's gone. She blinks in confusion, wondering if maybe she dreamed it all and he's still in Nevada after all, but then she hears the shower running and breathes a sigh of relief. For a moment, she's tempted to go in there and join him, but then her stomach gives an unpleasant twinge and she remembers exactly why she was in such a crappy mood last night.

_Goddamn period, ruining everything_. She flops back down on the bed, rubbing her belly absently.

She's still lying there when Logan reappears a few minutes later, towel around his waist. Veronica's eyes linger on his bare chest and back as he moves across the room to grab some clothes, but she can't seem to muster the energy to move.

As he tugs on a pair of boxers, he glances over at her, notices she's awake, and flashes her a smile. "Morning. How're you feeling?"

"Better, thanks," she says, pulling herself up into a sitting position so she can see him properly. "How about you?"

"I'm fine." He shrugs, then frowns, studying her warily. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You had a nightmare last night," she says in explanation.

"I did?" He avoids her gaze, reaching for a shirt and pulling it over his head.

"Uh huh." She nods, eyes narrowing. "I thought you weren't getting them anymore?"

"I'm not."

He still won't look at her though, just occupies himself with digging around in the dresser, which tells her all she needs to know.

"How long?" she asks.

He sighs as he pulls on a pair of sweatpants, then sits down on the bed and finally turns to face her.

"A couple weeks," he admits.

Veronica's chest tightens at the despondent expression on his face. "What's going on, Logan?"

"I don't know, Veronica." He shakes his head, shifting on the bed so he's sitting beside her, propped against the pillows. "I thought I was over it, you know, being back home again, away from it all…"

"But?" She reaches across and places her hand over his, entwining their fingers.

"This training is kicking my ass," he admits, running his free hand over his forehead. "It's all air warfare focused—air-to-air and air-to-ground combat training—and we're out in the desert, and some days I just… forget, you know, that it's not real. That I'm not still there."

"Oh, Logan…" Her heart aches for him. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah," he mutters.

She shifts a little so she can face him. "You know, if it's got to the point where it's affecting you psychologically, you can always quit the training."

"No." He shakes his head vehemently. "No, I can't, Veronica."

She gives a soft sigh.  _Damn that male pride of his._

"You can," she tells him firmly. "If it's so bad you're overworked and stressed, and you're getting nightmares again, then it might be the best thing for you."

"You don't understand," he says, more forcefully. "I  _can't_. If I drop out now, that's my career down the fucking toilet. If I quit because of this, I'm admitting that I can't handle the pressure, that I can't handle any more deployments. I am not having them declaring me unfit to fly."

"Logan..."

He sighs. "Don't look at me like that, Veronica."

"Like what?"

"Like you feel sorry for me."

"I'm not."  _Okay, yeah, maybe I kind of am_.

"I will get through this, okay?" He squeezes her hand. "I'm gonna show them I have what it takes."

"Okay, then," she agrees, pushing down everything she really wants to say. She knows better than to argue when his mind is made up. "If you feel you can handle it."

She moves closer, bringing a hand up to cup his jaw, forcing him to look at her.

"But be sensible, okay?" she says seriously. "And don't be afraid to ask for help. I don't want to find out you've done something stupid because you've pushed yourself too hard and burned out."

"I promise."

She studies him for a moment. He looks sincere, but then again, he is the son of two actors… and she knows how much his job means to him. She wouldn't put it past him to pretend he's fine just so he can fly.

"Thank you." She smiles, then leans in to kiss him. "And remember: I love you. I don't want anything to happen to you, ever."

"I know." He nods. "And me either."

He leans in to kiss her this time, and they sit together on the bed for a few more moments, just absorbing it all, until Veronica breaks the silence.

"I'm sorry about last night," she says softly. "Can we start over?"

"Sure." He gives a soft smile.

"Okay." She slides off the bed, then pats the mattress. "You just sit on the edge, here, and I'll be right back."

Logan shoots her a puzzled look, but complies, and she heads into the bathroom. She gives it a second, then steps back out into the bedroom, feigning shock when she sees him perched on the bed.

"Oh my God, Logan." She gives a gasp of shocked surprise, hand coming to rest over her heart. "What are you doing here?"

He grins, looking like he's trying not to laugh as he responds, "Training finished early and I wanted to surprise you; make up for missing Valentine's Day."

He stands, stepping toward her as Veronica crosses the room and they meet in the middle. Her arms come around his shoulders as she rises up on tiptoes as her fingers curl around the back of his neck.

"I'm so glad you're here," she says, bringing his mouth down to hers for an enthusiastic kiss.

When they come up for air, she looks up at him with a mischievous grin. "How was that?"

He slides his arms around her waist, palms resting on her lower back as he smiles down at her. "It was perfect."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! Hope everyone had a great holiday season :).
> 
> So, here's chapter 6 :). Unfortunately I had no time at all to write over the holidays (my family were visiting), so I may have to wait another two weeks to post chapter 7... we'll see how the writing goes over the next few days.

**Late February 2019**

"Hey." Veronica's smile lights up Logan's computer screen. From what he can tell, she's in the bedroom, propped up against the pillows with the laptop perched on her knees. "Sorry I'm late. I was over at Mac's for dinner and when I got home, Pony wouldn't stop whining until I took her out."

"That's okay," he says with a smile. "You're here now."

"I am… and we have the rest of the evening to ourselves."

He grins now, eyes drinking in the sight of her. "I like the sound of that."

She bites her lip and raises a suggestive eyebrow, which makes him chuckle.  _God, she's amazing. Even after all this time, she still gets my heart racing._

Before he can make a suitable innuendo-filled quip, she drops the playfulness, studying him seriously. "How are you doing, though?"

He sobers at the concern in her eyes. "I'm okay. I've been talking to Dr. Ramirez on the phone. She's been great. It's helping, I think."

"That's great," she says. "And the nightmares?"

He hesitates for a moment, before repeating, "It's helping."

"Logan…" Veronica's brow furrows and he knows she's not going to accept such a vague answer.

"I'm okay, Veronica," he assures her. "I promise. The nightmares haven't gone away completely, but they're not as bad, and I'm not getting them as much now."

Her lips curl up in a small, approving smile. "That's good. And the training?"

"Honestly? At this point, I'm just trying to stick it out to the end," he admits.

"You're not enjoying it at all?" Her face falls, eyes filled with concern.

"No, I am," he says quickly, then amends, "I mean, I'm trying to. I know it'll be worth it in the end… it's frigging Top Gun, after all… I'll just be glad when the stress is over."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." She gives a knowing nod. "Kinda reminds me of law school. That first year, especially—so much work. It was not the most fun I've had."

"I can imagine."

"Anyway, you've only got a week and a half left," she says, brightening up. "That's no time at all."

"I know," he replies. "You still coming up for graduation next week?"

"Definitely." She grins. "I've booked a flight out after work Friday. I get into Reno about eight p.m."

"Great. I'll meet you there."

"You sure?" She seems surprised. "It's pretty far from the base… I can get a car."

"It's fine," he dismisses quickly with a slight shake of his head. Of course he's going to meet her at the airport, how can she think he won't? "I should be able to get a car from the base. Can't wait to see you."

"Me either." She smiles then, her demeanour relaxing. "Just think: in a couple weeks, the long distance will be over and we'll have more than two-and-a-half years together."

He grins widely, his heart giving a small flip at the prospect. "I know."

"Listen, I heard back from the movers today," she says then, her tone all-business as she reaches for some papers and a pen. "They're coming Tuesday 12th to load the truck, so we need to be ready by then. Can you let me know if there's anything else you want to take with us so I can box it up?"

"Sure," he agrees, smiling affectionately as she goes into full organization mode. "I'll send you an email."

They've decided to keep the house in Neptune and Mac is going to house-sit for a while, since the lease on her apartment is up soon, which means they don't have to worry about shipping all their furniture clear across the country too.

"Great. I have Pony booked in the hold for our flight out on the 15th," she continues, flipping through the papers. "Is the paperwork for the house in Virginia Beach sorted?"

She looks up at him expectantly, but he's too caught up in following her every movement to answer, marvelling at how she always seems to look flawless, no matter how tired or busy she is.

"Logan?"

He blinks, bringing his attention back to her words. "What?"

Veronica tuts at him, narrowing her eyes. "You're not even listening."

"I am," he protests, counting off on his fingers as he speaks, "Movers, Pony, paperwork."

"Yes, and…?"

"And, what?" he teases, knowing full-well what she asked him, but enjoying getting a rise out of her all the same.

She sighs exasperatedly. "Is the paperwork for the house sorted?"

"Yes, it's done," he tells her finally. "I got the orders yesterday."

"Thank you." She tries to hide the roll of her eyes in response, but he catches it anyway.

She marks off something with the pen and Logan can't help grinning. "I love it when you get all domestic."

"Well, someone's gotta do it," she mutters, eyes on the papers in front of her. When he doesn't respond, she looks up, her expression softening when she sees his expression. "What?"

"I know the whole Virginia thing sucks," he says. "But it's gonna be you and me together—"

"And Pony," she interrupts.

"You, me and Pony," he acknowledges with a nod. "For more than two years. You know, it'll be the longest we've ever spent together in one go."

"Oh, shit." Her eyes widen with faux-trepidation, one hand coming to her heart. "You think we'll make it? I mean, what if I get fed up of you after like, a year?"

"That's not gonna happen," he responds confidently, before gesturing to himself. "Fed up of all this? I don't think so."

She snorts a laugh. "Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that, hotshot."

"Speaking of hot…" He lets his gaze roam over her image on the screen. "You're looking exceptionally delectable tonight. You know, I think we should make the most of this webcam thing."

She raises an eyebrow, though a smirk tugs at her lips. "Oh, it's like that, is it?"

"Well, for once, I'm not in a public computer room with a time limit," he says, lowering his voice. "We're alone, in private and we have all night."

"You're right, we are…" she murmurs softly. "And we do..."

Her tongue darts out to wet her lips and his stomach clenches in response, his body already reacting to her suggestive tone.

"Maybe I should get more comfortable," she adds, stretching seductively.

Logan swallows. "I think that's a good idea."

Picking up his laptop, he carries it into his bedroom and settles on the bed, mirroring her position against the pillows. His eyes follow her hungrily as she pulls her top over her head, then makes him reciprocate. And, yeah, okay, it's not the same as actually being with her, but it's pretty damn close.

* * *

**Early March 2019**

It's a bright, warm Saturday morning and Logan stands on the stage with his fellow officers, his shoulders squared, back straight and hands at his sides. He looks straight ahead, the brim of his cover just obscuring his view as he focuses his gaze above the heads of the audience. He knows Veronica is sitting out there—she caught his eye briefly earlier, smiling proudly as she took her seat—but as much as he wants to seek her out again, to smile back, they're in the middle of the graduation ceremony and he has to remain standing at attention. He can't get distracted.

As the CO makes his way along the line, saluting and shaking the hand of each of his fellow pilots, a combination of excitement and relief flows through Logan. He made it. He got through the STFI training and successfully came out the other side. In just a few moments, he'll be a qualified Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor. He'll be able to legitimately say he is a Top Gun pilot.

Beside him, the CO congratulates Bug—an F-35 pilot from South Carolina—shaking his hand, and then it's Logan's turn. He nods in the right places and holds his hand out to shake, but to be honest, it kind of goes by in a quick blur. When the Commander moves on to Moose, on his other side, Logan chances a glance toward Veronica. She's grinning widely, her face shining with happiness and pride. As her eyes lock with his, she gives a wink and a discreet thumbs-up, which has him pressing his lips together to keep from laughing.

When the graduation ceremony is over and everyone starts to mingle, he weaves his way through the crowd towards her. Moving away from the rows of chairs, she meets him partway, rising up and pressing her hands on his shoulders for leverage as she kisses him.

"Congratulations," she says, pulling back, her eyes shining. "You did it."

"Yeah." He flashes a smile. "I did. Thank you for being here."

She flew into Reno last night and he met her at the airport, but with the hour-long drive back to the base, then the mind-blowing sex afterwards, he'd let her sleep in this morning while he got ready for the ceremony. He had to leave early for the preparations, so he didn't get a chance to see her again until now.

She presses her lips together for a moment, as if she's composing herself, then says, "I'm so proud of you."

His smile widens, warmth spreading through his chest in response. "Thank you."

She kisses him again, then lowers her heels back to the floor. "So, what happens next at this shindig?"

"Mingling, mostly," he admits, then gestures towards the tables of food and drink off to the side. "But there's sustenance to help us through it."

"Great." She grins, sliding her hand in his. "What are we waiting for?"

They grab a couple of glasses and fill two plates with finger food, then spend a suitable amount of time making small-talk, until they can escape the formalities and have some time to themselves. As they walk across the base to his small apartment, Logan looks down at Veronica with a smile. She's wearing modest heels and a dark green, knee-length, fitted dress that manages to hug her in all the right places without being inappropriate. Her hair falls around her shoulders in soft curls, one side pinned back behind her ear.

"You know, you look  _amazing_  today," he says appreciatively. "Not often you get all dolled up like this."

She looks down at herself, then shrugs. "It's a special occasion. I wanted to look my best."

Logan presses his lips together, suppressing a grin. "You mean you didn't want to stand out in your butch boots and leather jacket."

"No," she counters quickly, but then amends, "Well, not entirely. I did want to look nice for your big day."

She stops, turning to face him as she takes his hand, a soft smile on her face.

"You did it, Logan," she says, excitedly. "You got through the training and you graduated. From Top Gun."

"Yeah." He lets a smile cross his lips. It's over… and he can finally relax, for the first time in two-and-a-half months. "Yeah. I did. And you know what I feel the need for right now?"

"The need for speed?" she quips, wiggling her eyebrows.

"No." He grins, shaking his head. "Though it's a good thing you didn't say that back there. You'd have been fined for it."

"Fined? Why?" She looks puzzled.

"Any references or quotes from Top Gun during SFTI training are punishable by fine," he tells her.

It's true—it was one of the first rules they were taught when they arrived on base back in January.

"Really?" She grins. "Good thing I held my tongue then."

"Very good thing," he agrees, slinging an arm around her shoulders as they start walking again.

"So what  _do_  you feel the need for, then?" she asks a moment later.

"Well, first off: an actual meal. I'm starving. You wanna get some lunch at the on-base bar and grill?" He pauses, waiting for her reaction and she doesn't disappoint, nodding eagerly. "And after that, we might even have time for some private celebrating before we fly back to Neptune."

"Sounds like a plan," she agrees easily. "Food and sex: two of my favourite things."

He chuckles, tugging her closer and kissing the top of her head. "Great minds think alike, huh?"

* * *

**Mid-March 2019**

Just over a week later, on Monday afternoon, Veronica sits back on her heels and surveys the carnage that is their new living room in Virginia Beach. There are boxes everywhere, and Pony is having the time of her life playing with the bubble wrap.

_Where the hell did all this stuff come from?_ Her eyes roam the room with bewilderment.  _I could have sworn we didn't bring this much with us._

They arrived here Friday night, after a rather emotional going-away party at her father's on Thursday evening, and thankfully their new, assigned house is fully furnished, because the movers got delayed somewhere in the mid-west and only arrived this morning with their belongings. Of course, Veronica had to get started on the unpacking alone because Logan was required to report to the base at nine a.m. for his first day at work.

"Come here, Pone," she says good-naturedly when the dog tries to scramble past. She reaches for Pony's collar and tugs her in for a cuddle, scratching the top of her head as she exhales heavily. "Whose brilliant idea was this, huh? Moving clear across the country with a house-load of stuff… what a crazy, stupid thing to do."

Pony gives a soft whine and looks up at Veronica with sad eyes. She's been skittish and timid since they arrived, still recovering from the ordeal of the long flight on Friday, and having to adjust to her new, unfamiliar surroundings.

"I know, sweetheart," she murmurs, stroking Pony's soft, silky fur. "It's all new and scary, huh? For me, too. But we'll get used to it."

Her gaze flits around the room again, and with a sigh, she looks down at the dog in her lap.

"What do you say to getting out of here for a bit, get some fresh air? You wanna go for a walk?" At that, Pony gives a bark and jumps up, her tail wagging enthusiastically. "Okay, then, let's go."

Veronica fastens Pony's leash to her collar, then grabs her bag and a warm jacket—she'd forgotten how much colder it was on the East Coast than in Neptune this time of year—and heads out of the door.

They've gotten pretty lucky with their accommodations here—the Navy was able to provide them with a two-bed, two-bath house in a quiet street just a couple of blocks from the beach and less than five miles from the base. From what Veronica's seen of the area so far, it seems nice, but they haven't had much chance to explore yet, having spent most of the weekend making frantic phone calls, trying to find out what had happened to the moving truck.

She takes Pony down to the beach and throws a Frisbee around for as long as she can stand in the cold wind. Deciding she needs something to warm her up, they walk up the coast until she comes across a quaint, old-fashioned-looking bakery call May's Parlor, which smells amazing. Leaving Pony securely tied up outside, Veronica pulls open the door and is immediately assaulted by the delicious aroma of coffee and pastries wafting through the air. It makes her mouth water.

Stepping up to the counter, she orders an Americano and a slice of Apple Caramel Spice cake, then adds a Pain Au Chocolat to-go for Logan. Of course it's just typical that when she reaches into her bag for her wallet, it's not there.

"Crap," she mutters, rummaging through the bag.  _Where the hell is it?_   _Oh,_   _that's right; it's still on the kitchen counter from when we ordered take-out last night._  She looks up at the cashier apologetically. "I'm so sorry, I'm going to have to leave it. I don't have any money with me."

"It's not a problem," comes a male voice from behind her, and an arm stretches out to hand the cashier a $20. "Here. It's on me."

"Oh… no, you don't have to do that." Veronica shakes her head as she turns to face the guy. He's tall and slim, with sandy-blond hair and blue eyes. "Seriously."

The man gives a shrug and a smile. "It's fine. Don't worry about it."

"Uh, okay… thanks." Veronica nods gratefully. "But you have to let me repay you."

"That's really not necessary," he insists, "but maybe you could keep me company while we eat?" When she hesitates, he flashes a friendly smile. "I don't bite, I promise. I just don't fancy doing the whole awkward 'yes, I'm eating alone again' thing today."

"Sure, why not?" she finds herself agreeing. The guy seems nice enough, after all. "I'm Veronica, by the way."

"Nick," he replies, holding out his hand. "Nice to meet you, Veronica."

He puts in his order and then suggests they sit at the table by the window, where Pony is sitting right outside, next to another dog—a yellow lab.

"I like to keep an eye on her while I'm inside," explains Nick, gesturing to the Labrador as they take a seat. "I hate to leave her out there on her own. Poor girl."

"I know what you mean," says Veronica. "The black one's mine. Her name's Pony."

"That's Marley right there."

"Marley? Seriously?" Her tone is sceptical.

Nick grins. "You can blame my wife for that one. She's obsessed with the book  _and_  the movie, so when we decided to get a dog, there was no talking her out of either the breed or the name."

"Okay." Veronica can't help but chuckle softly.

"Hey, like it's any better than Pony?" retorts Nick. "I mean, what kind of a name is that?"

"It's, uh…" Veronica smirks. "Kind of an inside joke."

"Well, don't leave me hanging." Nick gestures for her to continue. "Go on."

"Growing up, I always wanted a pony, even though I knew it was never gonna happen," she says. "When we got a dog, we couldn't decide on a name for her, so I just started calling her 'my pony'. It kinda stuck."

"Cute story." Nick flashes her a smile as the waitress appears and places their orders down on the table.

"So, Nick, what brings you here at three o'clock on a Monday afternoon?" Veronica asks as she picks up a fork and digs into the enormous slice of cake in front of her. "You don't work?"

"Well, I did, but I had to give up the job when we moved," he explains. "The joys of being a military spouse."

"Ah, I know them well." Veronica nods in agreement. "My husband and I just got here a couple days ago."

"Ah, so, you're familiar then."

"I am, though this is our first move together, so I'm still getting used to having to do it," she explains. "How long have you been here?"

"We actually lived here in Virginia Beach for a couple years about four years ago," he says. "Then we ended up out in California for a year between my wife's deployments, and now we're back at Oceana again."

Veronica lets out a low whistle. "Wow, a lot of moving."

"Yeah, but you kinda get used to it after a while." Nick shrugs. "At least this posting is longer than the last one, so I can get a long-term job again. Though, it's been four months already and I haven't found anything yet."

"Sorry to hear that," says Veronica sympathetically. "What kind of work are you in?"

"My background is Computer Engineering, but I was in Web Design before we left Virginia last time," he tells her. "Don't know if I wanna get back into that or not though. Right now, I'm just looking for anything I can… which isn't much around these parts, so I'm basically a house-husband these days. What about you?"

"Well, since we only just moved here, I have no idea what I'm going to do yet," says Veronica, taking a sip of her Americano. "Back home, my father and I run a PI business, but I have a law degree as well."

"Wow, that's pretty impressive."

"I guess. I haven't used the degree so far," she admits. "I had a bit of a change of heart after law school; ended up moving back home and working with my dad again. I took the California bar back in 2016, but I'm not sure I'll ever actually practise law."

"Still, it's an option," he says. "If you wanted to."

"Yeah, it is."

She nods in agreement, though the idea doesn't sound that appealing right now. After all, it's the PI work she's missing, not law. Not to mention, she'd have to take the Virginia bar in order to practice here, and that would take months.

"Ah," Nick says then, his gaze going to the window. "Looks like our dogs are getting restless without us out there."

Veronica turns to see Pony wagging her tail and looking up at her pleadingly through the glass.

"Seems they are," she agrees. "I think we've spent too much time chatting and eating cake for their liking. We should go rescue them."

They finish up their food and drinks, and Veronica grabs Logan's to-go bag as they leave the small café. It turns out Nick is heading the same way along the beach as she is, so they walk back together.

"Looks like Pony's made a new friend," Veronica remarks with a smile as the two dogs play in the surf.

"It would seem so." Nick nods. "Marley loves having company of the canine persuasion."

"Pony hasn't really been around other dogs much," she says. "We don't really have any dog-owner friends back in California."

"That's too bad," says Nick. "You know, maybe we could set up, like, a regular playdate for them? We come out to the beach a lot anyway… and I can never resist going into the bakery either. It'd be nice to have some company."

"You know what? I like that idea." Veronica smiles. "It'll be good for Pony to have a friend around, and those cakes are amazing."

"Okay." Nick stops, pulling out his phone. "Well, let me give you my number and you can just shoot me a text or something if you fancy meeting up."

"Thanks. Will do." Veronica adds his number to her contacts, though she neglects to give him hers—never can be too careful. "Besides, I still owe you for the cake and coffee back there."

"Seriously, you don't need to worry about it," he dismisses with a wave of his hand.

"No, I will pay you back," she vows. "I insist. I always pay my debts."

"Like a Lannister, huh?" he jokes.

She grins. "Well, there's a little less bloodshed involved."

"I'm glad for that."

Veronica glances around then, noting that they've reached the section of beach that leads back to the new house.

"Anyway, I'm up this way." She gestures toward the blocks of houses behind them. "I should be heading home. Lots of unpacking still to do."

She calls to Pony, who comes bounding across the sand and promptly shakes a combination of sand and salt water all over her as she tries to attach her leash. Task accomplished, she straightens up and holds out her hand to Nick.

"Nice to meet you, Nick," she says as he shakes it. "Thanks for the company—and the coffee and cake."

He smiles. "You too, Veronica."

* * *

Veronica's sitting on the couch, poring over take-out menus when Logan gets home a couple of hours later. His eyes widen at the chaos that is the living room; there are boxes everywhere, some open and half unpacked and some still sealed, and there's trampled bubble-wrap strewn across the carpet.

"Wow, looks like a bomb went off in here," he says by way of greeting.

"Hey." Veronica looks up from the menu in her hands, giving him a smile. "You're home."

Logan leans down for a kiss, then sinks down next to her on the couch.

"What happened?" He gestures to their surroundings.

"Oh… well, I started unpacking, but then Pony decided the bubble-wrap was her favourite new toy and that's when it got messy," she explains. "I needed a break and Pone had energy to burn, so we went for a walk along the beach."

"Sounds like a busy day," he comments, eyeing the boxes.

"Yeah." She nods. "I found this gorgeous little café-bakery place along the beach earlier—it has these amazing cakes and pastries. I brought one back for you actually."

"Thanks." He smiles, his mouth watering at the thought of pastries. "So, you had a good day?"

"It depends on your definition of good, I guess." She gives a small smile. "Moving is exhausting. On the plus side, Pony made a new friend at the beach."

"Yeah?" Logan glances around the room. "Where is she, by the way?"

"Asleep in the kitchen," Veronica says. "She's still getting used to the move and everything."

"Poor girl," he says. "So, a new friend, huh?"

"Yeah, a yellow Lab named Marley."

He laughs. "Marley, seriously?"

"That was exactly my reaction." She grins. "Her owner helped me out in the bakery and we got to chatting. We're gonna try to arrange some doggie playdates on the beach."

"Sounds fun."

"Yeah." She smiles. "But enough about my day, how was yours?"

"Long and boring." He rolls his shoulders to relieve some of the tension from having been sitting down all day. "The first few days on a new base are filled with nothing but paperwork, training videos and PowerPoint presentations."

"Yuck." Veronica's nose scrunches up in response.

"Yep. And I gotta do it all again tomorrow." He fakes a cheerful smile. "Fun times."

"I bet," she says. "I don't know which is worse: having to unpack all our crap, or being stuck in presentations all day."

"Honestly, I'd rather the unpacking," he admits. "I can help you with some of it tonight… but after we've eaten. I'm starving."

"Sounds like a plan." She shoots him a grin, then holds up a couple of take-out menus. "So, what'll it be: Chinese or Indian?"

"Indian," he says decisively.

Her eyes light up. "Good choice."

While she puts in the food order, Logan heads to their bedroom to change out of his uniform and into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. When he returns to the living room, he finds Veronica still in the same position on the sofa and he joins her again, lifting his arm so she can curl up beside him. As she rests her head on his chest, he lets his fingers drift along her upper arm.

"So… this is Virginia, huh?" he says.

"Yeah." She nods against his t-shirt. "It is."

"How're you finding it so far?"

"I think the jury's still out on that one right now," she says softly. "It's not Neptune, that's for sure."

"Got that right." He nods in agreement.

"How do you do it, Logan?" she asks then. "Move around so much, I mean. Having to get to know new places all the time."

He shrugs. "I don't know—you just have to suck it up and do it, 'cause you don't have a choice."

"I suppose."

"It helps that a Navy base is a Navy base is a Navy base," he adds. "The physical locations might change, but all the bases look pretty much the same, and the job is the same everywhere too. When I'm working, I don't really notice it."

"Yeah…" her voice is softer now, like she's unsure of herself.

"You okay?" He glances down at her.

"I kinda feel like I'm in limbo right now," she admits. "We've left Neptune, but we haven't settled in here yet… I don't really know which way is up."

"It's always hard at first, but give it some time," he says gently. "We'll get settled."

She lifts her head, shifting so she can face him as she gives a small smile. "I hope so."

"We will." He lifts his fingers, smoothing her hair behind her ear, then letting them trail down her neck. "And we'll do it together."

"Yeah." She smiles more fully now. "We will."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, I got a fair amount written in the last few days... which means I've decided to post chapter 7 today instead of waiting another week :).

**End March 2019**

Veronica wakes on Saturday morning to find Logan's side of the bed empty.

"Seriously, Logan?" she mutters, flopping onto her back and rubbing sleep from her eyes. "You went running  _today_? What is wrong with you?"

She contemplates going back to sleep, but the need to use the bathroom is too great, so with a sigh, she tugs back the covers and pulls a shirt on over her head. Padding down the hall to the bathroom, she uses the facilities and gives her teeth a quick brush, then heads downstairs to the kitchen. She's just putting out a bowl of food for Pony and is about to get started on some breakfast when Logan arrives home, dressed in his running gear and dripping with sweat.

"Morning," he says breathlessly, pressing a quick kiss to her temple as he slips past her and heads for the fridge, pulling out a bottle of Gatorade and taking a few gulps.

Veronica smiles in his direction, then crosses the room, letting her hand rest lightly on his lower back, avoiding the sweat as much as she can as she peers around his side.

"It's your birthday today," she says playfully.

He grins, returning the Gatorade to the shelf. "I know."

"And you got up early and went  _running_." She raises a sceptical eyebrow. "I mean, who does that on their birthday?"

He chuckles, closing the fridge and turning to face her. "The world doesn't stop turning just because it's my birthday, Veronica."

"But I had plans for this morning." She gives a pout, walking her fingers up over his chest. "They involved you, me, that big bed upstairs…"

His grin turns into a leer as his hands come to her waist. "They did, huh?"

"Yep." She rises up on tiptoes for a moment to whisper in his ear. "There may have even been chocolate and whipped cream involved."

He gulps. "Really?"

"Maybe." She affects as innocent expression as she can. "But since you chose to go running instead, you'll never know."

He narrows his eyes. "You're an evil woman, Mars."

"I know." She grins. "But you love me anyway."

"That I do." He grins crookedly, then lowers his head, capturing her mouth in a dizzying kiss. When they part, he holds out his hand and murmurs, "Wanna join me for a shower instead?"

"I would love to." She takes his hand, letting him lead her back upstairs.

* * *

"So, birthday boy…" Veronica says coyly, straddling Logan's hips as he looks up at her from the pillows, hands propped behind his head, his gaze roaming her nude body. "What do you want to do today? 'Cause I have an idea you might like."

He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively as he places his feet flat on the mattress, bending his knees to support her back. "Does it involve spending all day in bed with you?"

"Sadly, no," she admits. "But I think you might like it all the same."

His hands come to her hips, thumbs stroking across her skin. The touch sends a shiver of pleasure down her spine.

"Well, go on then," he urges with a grin. "Spill."

"Okay." She places her hands on his chest, leaning forward as if to kiss him, but stopping just before their lips meet. "How do you feel about Indoor Skydiving?"

He looks bemused for a moment before his lips twitch up into a smile. "Skydiving?"

"Yeah." She kisses him gently. "Why not? The centre is only a few blocks from here. I thought it might be fun."

"Really?" His smile widening. "I didn't peg you for the skydiving type."

"Yes, really." She pushes herself up into a sitting position again. "I mean, it's not like it's the real thing, but I think it could be fun. What do you say?"

He shoots her a wide grin. "Let's do it."

"Great. We have a slot booked for this afternoon," she informs him. "It's all paid for and everything."

"We do, huh?" He gives a soft laugh. "What would you have done if I'd said no?"

"Oh, I'd have just used my incredible powers of persuasion to change your mind," she says airily.

"Is that right?" He reaches for her, tugging her down to the bed again and rolling so he has her pinned beneath him. "And what makes you think I would have succumbed to those?'

She shoots him a sly grin. "Because you always do."

He scoffs. "I do not."

Veronica hooks her ankle around his, sliding her leg up over the back of his until it's hitched around his hip. She feels him harden against her.

"Oh, I beg to differ."

He doesn't even bother to refute her claim, just gazes down at her, his eyes dark with lust, and murmurs. "Do we have time for another round?"

She smiles widely, hooking her arms around his neck and pulling him down for a heated kiss. "Definitely."

* * *

"Oh my God, that was awesome!" Veronica exclaims as they leave the Indoor Skydiving centre later that afternoon.

"Yeah," agrees Logan enthusiastically, slinging an arm around her shoulder. "It was fucking amazing. I've never felt anything like that before."

"Really?" She looks surprised as she looks up at him. "You didn't do any skydiving training in flight school."

"No." He shakes his head. "They just show us how to work a parachute, and that's about it. And, skydiving is totally different experience from flying. You don't feel g-forces like you do in the jet because you're free-falling. It's only if you're skydiving for real that you experience any g-force, and that's only when the parachute opens."

"Really? Huh… I didn't know that," she muses.

Logan smiles, tugging her closer and kissing the top of her head.

"Thank you," he says softly. "This was an awesome present."

She smiles up at him, her eyes sparkling. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

They reach their newly acquired car—they figured it was easier just to buy a new one in Virginia rather than ship their cars across the country, so Logan left Dick in charge of his BMW, while Keith is using Veronica's SUV, since his own rust-bucket finally gave up the ghost a few weeks ago—and climb inside. Logan starts the engine, though he doesn't pull out of the space right away. Instead he turns to Veronica, whose cheeks are still flushed from the wind tunnel, and smiles.

"See, Virginia isn't so bad after all."

* * *

**Mid-April 2019**

It's a warm Monday afternoon—warm for Virginia Beach, anyway—and Veronica leans back on the bench, smiling softly as she closes her eyes and tilts her head up to the sun.

"It's nice out, huh?" comments Sarah from beside her.

They're in one of the local kids' parks, along the coast, Sarah having invited her to spend some time with her and Ava this afternoon.

"It is." She nods, opening her eyes and taking in their surroundings: the blue sky, the lush grass, the children playing in the playground, the sound of the ocean in the background. "It's not Neptune, but it's not too bad."

"Yeah," Sarah agrees. "How're you settling in?"

Veronica shrugs. "Logan's doing well, I think. Seems to be enjoying the new assignment."

"But what about you?" Sarah looks at her, concern in her eyes. "I mean, I know it's not easy, moving to a new place."

"I'm okay." She eyes Ava, who seems to be having the time of her life playing with a group of toddlers in the sandpit, and a pang of, well, something, goes through her at the sight.

"Are you sure?" Sarah's voice is kind. "You seem a bit down."

"I don't know." Veronica shakes her head, lifting her gaze to the sky for a moment. "I just… I feel kind of stuck here, I guess. Like, Logan has it all sorted out: he has his work, and a ready-made life for him here, but I have nothing. I'm a nobody in Virginia Beach."

"Oh, hon, I'm sorry." Sarah rubs Veronica's arm soothingly. "But I do know how you feel. Before I had Ava, when we moved to Lemoore and then down to North Island, I was the same. I had no job, no life, no friends. But I got through it. You just need to give it some time."

"I know." She nods. "I just hate feeling like this. I'm used to being in control, being independent, but right now, I'm pretty much relying on Logan for everything. I have no job and no money of my own coming in. Hell, I don't even have a car yet. It's so frustrating."

"You do have friends though," says Sarah warmly. "You have me, and Tim, and you have Logan too."

"Yeah," she agrees.  _And all three of them are great._  "But, you all have your own things: Chaos and Logan have flying, you have Ava… but I only have Pony." She snorts a small laugh. "Dogs aren't exactly great conversationalists."

Sarah laughs. "Neither are 21-month-olds."

"Touché."

"Listen, anytime you want to talk, or just need some company, just give me a call, okay?" Sarah tells her sincerely. "I'll do my best to be available whenever—toddler emergencies notwithstanding."

"Thank you." Veronica nods again, feeling oddly touched.

She's not used to anyone offering such support, not because she doesn't think Wallace and Mac wouldn't be there for her, but because she's not used to needing that kind of help from them.

"Of course, Veronica." Sarah smiles. "I'm new in town too, remember?"

"Yeah, I know."

"Although…" says Sarah then. "I do have some news."

"Oh, what news?" Veronica perks up, grateful for the change in subject.

"Well…" She shifts so she's facing Veronica more fully. "I'm pregnant."

Veronica's jaw drops, her eyes widening in surprise. "Really? I, uh—wow, that's great. Congratulations."

"Thanks." Sarah grins, looking down as her hand comes to rest on her still flat stomach. "I've been dying to tell someone, but we were waiting until I reached the second trimester, just in case."

"Wow," Veronica says again. "That's awesome, Sare."

She reaches over for a hug, though as her friends' arms come around her, the smile falls from her face. She pastes it back on as she pulls back.

"So, when are you due?" she asks. "Are you going to find out the sex?"

"Well, I just passed 12 weeks, which means I'm due late October," says Sarah. "We haven't decided about finding out the sex yet. Tim wants to know, but I'm not sure."

"Either way, it's great news," says Veronica. "I didn't even know you guys were trying again."

"That's the thing: we weren't," Sarah confides. "I mean, we'd talked about the possibility, but we weren't planning another baby just yet. And then it kind of happened out of the blue."

Veronica forces a smile. "Well, I'm really happy for you."

Sarah looks like she's about to say something else, but then her phone beeps with an alert and she reaches for it with a grimace, shooting Veronica an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry, Veronica, our time's up. I have to get Ava home for her nap."

"Hey, that's okay," she says quickly. "Don't worry about it."

"Can I give you a ride home?"

"Uh, no, I'm good, thanks," Veronica declines. "It's a nice day; I'll walk back."

"Well, if you're sure…"

"Yeah. You guys go."

Sarah heads over to the sandpit to collect Ava, then holds her hand as they head back across the park. Veronica walks with them to Sarah's car to say goodbye.

As she walks along the boardwalk back towards her house, Veronica can't seem to push down the weird ache she's feeling in her chest. She should be happy for Sarah; after all, it's wonderful news… so why isn't she? Why does she feel so crappy?

* * *

It's close to six when Veronica walks through the door. Logan is already home from work and is sitting on the couch, trying to get some paperwork finished for the morning.

"Hey, where've you been?" he asks, looking up from the papers, frowning when she doesn't smile. "Everything okay?"

"Mmm hmm." She pulls off her jacket and drops it on the arm of the chair by the window, then makes her way over to him with intent.

She plucks the papers from his hands and places them down on the coffee table, before straddling his hips and bringing his mouth to hers for a hungry kiss. She doesn't waste any time, just goes straight in, her tongue darting out and tangling with his as her hands slide down to his sweatpants, cupping him through the material and squeezing gently.

"Hey." He pulls back, breaking the kiss, his fingers curling around her wrists, halting her movements. "Not now, okay? I have a ton of work to do."

"Yes, now," she mutters, tugging her wrists from his grip and slipping her hands beneath his shirt. "I need you now."

"Veronica, stop." He turns his head to the side as she goes in for another kiss. "I said no, okay? I'm busy and I've had a long day."

This time, she's the one to pull away, regarding him with a hurt expression before narrowing her eyes and climbing off him.

"Fine," she mutters, turning towards the kitchen. "I know when I'm not wanted."

"Hey, come on. Don't be like that." Logan gives a sigh, leaning forward to catch her arm, tugging her back around to face him as he watches her with concern. "Veronica, what's going on?"

She doesn't look at him, just shakes her head. "Nothing."

"It's not nothing." Logan frowns, patting the couch cushion beside him in invitation. "Come on, talk to me."

She sighs heavily, before reluctantly sinking down onto the sofa.

"Did you know Sarah's pregnant… again?"

"She is?" Logan blinks in surprise. Chaos hasn't mentioned a thing.  _The sneaky bastard_. "That's great."

"Yeah," says Veronica flatly.

"Uh… it's  _not_  great?" he ventures, trying to gauge her emotions.

"No, it… it is," she adds quickly. "I'm happy for them. It's just… did you know they weren't even trying? It just happened-" she clicks her fingers for emphasis. "-just like that."

"Well… that can happen," he says slowly, trying to figure out what's going through her mind right now.

"Yeah, but apparently not to us," she mutters.

_Oh_. That's _what this is about._

She glances at him. "Logan, we've been trying for almost four months, and nothing."

"Well—"

"And before you say we just spent two-and-half months apart," she cuts him off, holding up one hand. "I'd say we more made up for that when we were together."

"Maybe, but I guess it doesn't necessarily work that way," he says softly. "Sometimes it can take a while, you know."

Veronica exhales shakily. "I know that. I just feel like if something was going to happen, it would have by now."

"Yeah, maybe." Logan lifts his arm up in invitation. "Hey, come here."

She accepts his invitation and ducks under his arm, curling up beside him. They sit together in silence for a few moments before she speaks up.

"I'm sorry," she says softly. "I didn't mean to… attack you like that just now. I just wanted to… I don't know what I wanted…"

"It's okay," he says, soothingly. "I get it; you were feeling helpless and inadequate, and you wanted to exert some control over the situation."

She lifts her head, looking at him in surprise. "How do you always know these things about me that I don't even know myself?"

He gives her a gentle smile. "I've been told I can be perceptive. Especially when it comes to you."

"Yeah, you can." She lowers her head to his chest once more.

"Listen," he says. "We haven't exactly done much research into this whole getting pregnant thing yet. Why don't we make an appointment with a family planning doctor? Get some information about what we can do to… you know, help the process along."

"Oh, I uh…" She hesitates and for a moment he thinks she's going to say no, but then she surprises him. "Yeah. Okay. I think that's a good idea."

"All right." He nods. "Let's do that. I can see if the base medical centre can recommend somewhere we can go."

"Thank you."

"It's not a problem."

"I mean, thank you for  _this_ ," She clarifies. "For being understanding. I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me earlier."

"Seriously, it's okay," he tells her. "We all have our moments."

She lifts her head and smiles up at him, leaning in for a kiss. He returns it easily, but pulls back when she tries to deepen it.

"I really do have to get this work done," he says apologetically. "Maybe later?"

"Sorry. Yeah, later's good." She sits up, his arm falling to the cushions as she does so. "So, uh… you fix anything for dinner yet?"

"Not yet," he replies, rifling through his papers again. "I thought we could get take-out instead."

She smiles. "Sounds like a plan."

Veronica orders food from a local Italian place and then disappears upstairs to take a shower. Logan tries his best to concentrate on the work in front of him, but his thoughts keep drifting to Veronica and her uncharacteristic behaviour this evening. It's not just tonight; she's seemed a little off for a couple weeks now. He thought she was doing okay, settling in well here, but now he wonders if she's been worrying about getting pregnant all this time or if there's something else bothering her too.

* * *

Two days later, when Logan manages to secure an afternoon off, they sit awkwardly in the reception area of a private family planning clinic as they wait for the doctor to call them in. Logan's knee has been bouncing up and down incessantly for the last few minutes and it's getting on Veronica's nerves. She places her hand on his leg, stopping the movement. He shoots her an apologetic look, then reaches for her hand, linking their fingers together as they rest on his leg.

"Sorry."

She leans into him, murmuring softly. "It's okay, I'm nervous too."

"Mr. and Mrs. Echolls?" the receptionist calls out just then. "Dr. Anderson will see you now. Just down the hall to the left."

"Thank you," says Veronica as they stand and head down the corridor.

"Good morning," the middle-aged female doctor says with a smile, gesturing to the pair of comfortable chairs on the other side of her desk. "Please, take a seat."

Veronica steps into the room ahead of Logan, sinking down into one of the comfortable chairs as Logan does the same beside her. Her gaze drifts around the room, taking in the health advice posters and the various diagrams and anatomy models on display.

"Now what can I do for you today?"

"Well, um, my husband and I have been trying for a baby for a few months now," says Veronica, glancing toward Logan, who gives her a reassuring smile. "And, well… nothing's really happening so far. So, we were hoping for some help or advice on how to, you know…"

She struggles to find the right words.

"Get the ball rolling?" the doctor says with a smile.

"Yeah," she responds lamely.

"Okay, well, first of all, how long have you been actively trying to get pregnant?"

"About four months." It's Logan who replies this time.

"Ah, I see." Dr. Anderson nods, leaning forward on her desk and clasping her hands together. "The thing is, Mr. and Mrs. Echolls—"

"Oh, just Veronica and Logan. Please," Veronica says quickly.

"Okay then, Veronica, Logan," the doctor continues kindly. "We usually don't begin fertility testing until a couple has been trying to conceive for at least a year—"

"A  _year_?" Veronica cuts in, not expecting to hear that. "Seriously?"

"I'm afraid so," says the doctor. "And I'll be honest, four months isn't really a lot of time in the grand scheme of things. It generally takes most couples between four and six months to conceive once they begin trying, with about 85% of them conceiving within a year."

"Oh. Well, I mean, I know it can take time," Veronica says. "It's just that Logan's on shore duty with the Navy right now, so we're on a bit of a tight time frame. I don't think we really have a year to spare." Logan squeezes her hand in support and she sends him a quick smile. "I…  _we…_  really just wanted to check that we were both, you know, healthy… and maybe find out if there's anything in particular we should be doing to improve our chances."

"Right," the doctor nods in understanding. "Okay, well, I can help you with that. I will need to ask you both some fairly detailed questions though… some of which maybe be rather personal. And we'll run a few tests as well."

Dr. Anderson spends the next couple of hours talking to each of them individually, carrying out physical exams and taking urine and blood samples, plus a sperm sample from Logan, then she sits them down together to discuss their options.

"Firstly, we'll send the samples off for testing tomorrow, and we should have the results back in a few days, probably by the middle of next week, since the Easter weekend is coming up," Dr. Anderson explains. "But there are a few things we can discuss now. From what you've told me, it seems you have a healthy sex life, and it doesn't sound to me like there's anything you're doing wrong, per se. Veronica, I would recommend you start taking pre-natal vitamins, and you can also track your ovulation cycle, which can help maximise your chances of getting pregnant."

"Yeah, I can do that," says Veronica softly, though she's feeling a little overwhelmed. Why had she ever assumed that making a baby would be as easy as just having a lot of sex?

"And Logan, since you've maintained a healthy weight and diet for the last few years, and you don't drink or smoke, I'd just keep doing what you're doing. Though I would avoid taking hot baths and saunas, and also wearing tight underwear, as both can have a detrimental effect on sperm health."

"Sure." Logan gives a nod of agreement, though he looks a little uncomfortable with the topic.

"There is one thing I do want to discuss with you though," the doctor turns more serious now, and Veronica feels a curl of dread in her stomach. "Do you mind if I speak freely in front of both of you?"

"Of course," Veronica agrees. "We have no secrets."

"Veronica, you were treated for chlamydia and Pelvic Inflammatory Disease when you were eighteen. Now, normally, there are no long-term effects after treatment; however, given the length of time your infection went untreated—more than two years—it may have had adverse effects on your body."

Veronica swallows, her heart leaping into her throat at the doctor's words. "What kind of adverse effects?"

"PID can result in ectopic pregnancy," Dr. Anderson says gently. "And it can also lead to blockage or scarring of the fallopian tubes… which in turn can cause miscarriage, premature birth, stillbirth… or even infertility. In fact, it's actually the leading cause of infertility in women."

"Oh."

Veronica sinks back in her chair, the air leaving her body as the doctor's words sink in.  _Infertility… miscarriage… stillbirth? All because of one event I had no control over 16 years ago?_

"Right. Okay," she murmurs faintly.

"Hey." Beside her, Logan takes her hand, squeezing it in support. "Are you all right?"

"I don't know right now," she manages, her head spinning. She presses her lips together, composing herself before asking, "So, how do I know if the PID caused any of that?"

Dr. Anderson gives her a smile filled with sympathy. "Well, the tests we've done today will likely offer some insight and we can also do a special x-ray called an HSG to check for any fallopian tube blockages."

"And you can do that right away?" asks Logan, taking the lead for her. Veronica gives him a grateful smile.

"As I said, we don't usually carry out these tests until you've been trying to conceive for a year, but with your medical history, I think it's a good idea to do it now." Dr. Anderson smiles again. "We'll have your test results back sometime next week, and then we can talk about scheduling an HSG."

"Great." Logan smiles, sitting forward in his chair. "Thank you, Doctor."

"Of course," Dr. Anderson says with a nod. "I urge you not to worry just yet, Veronica. It's early days and you may not have anything to be concerned about at all."

* * *

Veronica's quiet on the way home, just staring out of the window and barely even acknowledging Logan. When they left the clinic, she insisted she was fine, but he's not convinced. He's also feeling like shit for suggesting they see the doctor in the first place. Okay, yeah, it was the right thing to do and it's good that they're checking to make sure everything's okay, but now Veronica is the one suffering because of it.

He pulls the car into their driveway and Veronica gets out without a word, heading straight for the front door. With a sigh, he climbs out too, locking the car and following her into the house. He observes her cautiously as she greets an enthusiastic Pony with a cuddle, then makes her way through the house.

"So, I thought we'd have the casserole I made yesterday for dinner. Just need to heat it in the oven and put some veggies on and we're done," she tosses over her shoulder as she heads for the kitchen and opens the fridge.

"Veronica," he says, moving into the kitchen as well. "Are you okay? Maybe we should talk about this."

"I'm fine, Logan," she dismisses, lifting the casserole dish out of the fridge and placing it on the counter. "You heard the doctor. We'll wait for the test results and see what happens."

"But, I mean, it's a lot to take in…" He tries again. "If you want to—"

"I'm  _fine_ , Logan," she returns forcefully, as she turns back to the fridge and pulls out green beans and carrots. "Just leave it alone."

"Okay," He holds up his hands in surrender. "I'm leaving it."

"Thank you."

He glances around the kitchen. "What can I do?"

"Can you turn the oven on to 325?" she asks, grabbing a knife and starting to chop the carrots. "And set the table?"

"Sure."

He sets about doing as she's asked and is in the process of laying out the plates and glasses when he hears a clatter behind him. Whipping around, he finds the knife Veronica was chopping with lying on the floor and Veronica hunched over, her hands braced on the counter as a heart-wrenching sob escapes her mouth.

"Veronica?" He abandons the table, rushing over just in time to catch her before she collapses to the floor. "Hey. It's okay."

He wraps his arms around her tightly as she falls apart in his arms, her sobs coming thick and fast now.

"I've got you," he murmurs, stroking her back. "Just let it all out. Everything you're feeling… just let it go. I've got you."

Her arms come around his waist, hands flattening against his back as she cries against him, her head buried in his chest.

"Why do these things always happen to me?" Her voice is strangled, and so full of anguish that it makes his heart ache for her.

"I don't know, sweetheart." The much-detested endearment slips out involuntarily, but he has no desire to take it back. It feels right in the moment.

"Why does everything always go back to that night… to  _him_?" she manages between sobs. "Still ruining my life from beyond the grave."

"You don't know that," he says gently. "You don't even know if there's anything to worry about yet."

She sucks in a shaky, hiccupping breath as she lifts her head. Despite the redness and the tears streaming down her cheeks, her eyes are hard as she spits out, "If I can't have children because of that…that monster…"

Logan brings one hand around to cup her jaw, his thumb brushing away the tears. "I'm so sorry you had to go through… what he put you through. I would give anything to take back that night, to make it all go away."

"I know you would." She nods, even as her face crumples again and another sob bubbles over. She sucks in a breath to compose herself. "God, I didn't even  _want_  kids before… but I guess I've got used to the idea… I mean, some days, I even  _long_  for it… and now to find out that maybe I  _can't_ , like,  _ever_ … Logan, what am I gonna do?"

" _If_  that happens, you'll get through it, I promise," he swears. " _We'll_  get through it. Together. You're the strongest person I've ever met, Veronica. You've survived so much before, and it might not seem like it right now, but you will survive this, too."

She sighs sadly. "I wish I had your conviction."

He swallows down the emotions threatening to spill over as he looks down at her distraught face, before gently cupping her face with both hands.

"You will."

She nods, but doesn't say anything and Logan's pretty sure that means she doesn't believe it right now. He tilts her chin up towards him, dropping the softest kiss he can to her lips.

"I love you, Veronica Mars," he declares softly. "Always have, always will. And I will  _always_  be here for you; no matter what happens."

She nods, pressing her lips together as if to keep from bursting into tears again, before taking a deep, calming breath and looking up at him with gratitude. "I love you, too."

"Listen, we're not gonna dwell on this right now, okay?" he murmurs softly, thumbs caressing her cheeks. "Mac and Wallace are flying out for the Easter Weekend and you're gonna go out and enjoy yourself and have a great time with them."

She manages a small, grateful smile, though she shakes her head. "No,  _we're_  going to…all of us. You and me and Mac and Wallace. They're  _your_  friends, too, Logan, not just mine."

"Okay." His lips curl up into a smile, the ache in his chest lessening just a little at her response. " _We'll_  have a great weekend."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I probably shouldn't be posting this week, since I haven't written a thing in about 10 days, but also I don't want to leave it two weeks between updates again... so you're getting chapter 8 today... and hopefully I'll stop procrastinating (read: binge-watching Netflix shows) soon and actually get back to writing :).
> 
> Thank you for all your kudos and comments :).

Mac and Wallace arrive into Norfolk International on Friday evening of the Easter Weekend, where Veronica greets them with a large grin and enthusiastic hugs. It's been a long, tiring few weeks and she's glad to have her best friends close by again.

"So, where's Logan?" asks Mac as they load their bags into the car.

"He's back home, making dinner," says Veronica, closing the trunk.

"Wow." Wallace slings an arm around her shoulder. "Got him well-trained, haven't you?"

"Shut up." Veronica nudges his side playfully. "He offered. Now get in the car, Papa Bear, or we won't get back in time to eat."

They arrive back at the house in Virginia Beach forty-five minutes later, and after getting Mac set up in the guest bedroom and Wallace on the pull-out couch in the living room, they sit down to dinner.

"I'm so glad you guys are here," says Veronica, as she tucks into the meat and two veg dinner Logan's prepared. "I've missed you."

"We've missed you, too, Supafly." Wallace smiles. "Neptune just isn't the same without you."

"Yeah, it's doesn't feel right without you guys either."

Veronica glances over at Logan, who's watching her with concern. She gives him a small, half-hearted smile and though he seems to relax a little, the worry in his eyes doesn't fully disappear.

"So, what's on the agenda this weekend?" asks Mac then. "You guys gonna show us the fine sights of Virginia Beach?"

"Of course," Logan answers, seeming to sense that Veronica's struggling to muster much enthusiasm today. "We thought maybe tomorrow we could take a drive, show you around."

"Sounds good," replies Wallace.

"And in the evening, what do you think about bowling and then out for dinner?" adds Veronica.

"Great." Mac flashes a smile. "Sounds like a plan."

* * *

"It's good to see Mac and Wallace again," ventures Logan as they lie spooned together in bed later that night.

"Uh huh," Veronica murmurs, giving a small nod. "It's good."

"And we're gonna have a great weekend with them," he says as reassuringly as he can. "I promise."

"Right…"

He frowns, tightening his arm around her waist, tugging her a little closer. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah," she says, though she sounds distant.

"'Cause, you know, you can talk to me," he says softly, seriously. "About anything."

"I know," she replies, though she doesn't sound particularly sure of herself.

"Veronica," he tries again. "I know you're hurting right now, but it's gonna be okay. I promise."

She makes a sound which seems to be halfway between a scoff and a sob as she turns in his arms.

"You don't know that, Logan," she murmurs, tone filled with sadness. "What if this is it? You know, our whole family; just you and me?"

"Then it'll just be you and me," he tells her gently, reaching out to run his fingers through her hair. "And I will do everything I can to make sure that you're happy, that  _we're_  happy, for the rest of our lives."

"I know you will." She sighs. "God, it seems so stupid to be feeling like this. I mean, that's what I always wanted, right? Just you and me. I thought I would be happy without kids… but now…"

"Yeah… I know."

He slides one hand around the back of her neck, urging her close. He kisses her slowly, gently at first, trying to convey his love for her through it. She responds willingly at first, but as he tugs her closer and tries to deepen the kiss, pressing his lower body against hers, she pulls away, shifting onto her back.

"What's wrong?"

She just shakes her head. "I can't. Not tonight."

"Hey, that's okay," he says quickly. "We don't have to."

"It's just…" She sighs, looking up at the ceiling. "I feel like… what's the point, you know? I'm probably damaged goods anyway."

_Shit, Veronica._ Logan looks at her with dismay.  _You can't really think…?_

"Come on, don't talk like that," he says gently, stroking the back of his hand along her arm. "It's not true."

"No?" she mutters. "You want children; I most likely can't have them… if that's the case, then can we really be happy together?"

"Yes, we can. Come here." He reaches for her again, tugging her into a hug. She buries her head in his chest. "You're not damaged, okay? Something happened to you that wasn't your fault, and it's totally unfair, but no matter what happens, I will always love you and support you. If we can't have kids, then so be it. It's not the end of the world."

"Kinda feels like it right now."

"I know." He kisses the top of her head. "But it won't feel like that forever... and you never know, there might not be anything to worry about after all."

* * *

"Strike!" Wallace pumps the air with his fist. "Beat that, Mars."

Veronica grins at him as she stands, ready to take her turn. "Oh, you got it coming, Fennel."

She picks up a ball and tests its weight in her hands, then steps up to the lane and swings her arm back, letting go of the ball. Her gaze stays trained on it as it rolls down the lane.

"Come on, come on, come on." It knocks down eight of the pins, leaving the last two split. "Aw, crap."

"Yes!" Wallace exclaims, rubbing his hands together with glee. "I still got it."

"Yeah, yeah, rub it in." She shoots him a glare.

Her second attempt takes out one of the two pins but not the other and Veronica makes a show of rolling her eyes at Wallace as she takes a seat beside Logan, leaning into him as she reaches for a handful of fries. Logan's arm comes around her back, his fingers resting on her waist, and she smiles in response.

It's Mac's turn next, and she knocks down a pitiful two pins with her first ball, then another four with the second.

"I'm so gonna lose this game," she mutters with a pout as she slumps back down on the other side of Veronica. "I'm crap at bowling."

"Hey, you're not that bad," responds Veronica as Logan gets up to take his turn next. "It's just that we have two show-offs playing with us."

"It's not our fault we're good at bowling," protests Wallace with a grin. "Isn't that right, Echolls?"

"Damn straight," Logan replies, with a grin and a playful bob of his eyebrows.

Veronica just narrows her eyes at him, tutting loudly as Logan expertly bowls a strike.

"You know, I think you and I should just play our own game," she says to Mac. "Let these two battle it out between themselves."

"Aw, come on, Vee… it's no fun with only two," says Wallace. "We need at least four to make the game worthwhile."

"He's got a point," adds Logan as he returns to his spot beside Veronica, his arm coming around her again. "Anyway, isn't this all supposed to be for fun?"

"Yes. It is." Veronica nudges him with her shoulder. "So maybe you and Fennel here should take pity on us poor amateurs."

Logan seems to consider the suggestion for a moment before he turns to Wallace. "Yeah, I guess we should."

Wallace just grins. "Sorry, man, you're on your own there. I refuse to suppress my God-given talents for the sake of my friends."

"Seriously?" Mac rolls her eyes as Wallace moves to collect his ball and take his next turn. "Well, while he's showing off, I'm gonna take a bathroom break. See you in a minute, guys."

As Mac walks away, Logan leans in and rests his chin on Veronica's shoulder.

"You seem happier today," he says softly.

"Yeah." She smiles, turning so she can give him a quick kiss. "Having Mac and Wallace here has been great. A welcome distraction from everything."

"I'm glad." He kisses her again, his fingers tightening on her waist as he does so.

"Vee, you're up." Wallace's voice intrudes on the moment as he sinks down onto the seat beside Veronica. "And please, this is a bowling alley… no one needs to see you guys making out."

Veronica grins against Logan's lips, giving him one last quick kiss, before hopping up to take her turn.

This time, luck is on her side, and she finally gets a strike.

"Yes!" she cheers, clapping her hands together as she turns back to the guys. "See, I  _can_  bowl. Sometimes."

"Of course you can, sweetie," Logan replies cheekily, though his eyes sparkle as he grins at her.

Veronica narrows her eyes at him even as she perches on his lap, looping her arm around his neck and letting her fingers run through his short hair. He was right, she thinks, as they wait for Mac to return from the bathroom; she does feel better, happier… at least for now, anyway. Having Wallace and Mac here is amazing, and even though before they arrived, she thought about telling them everything that's been going on, it's nice not to have to think about it for once, to just have fun for a while.

* * *

On Easter Monday, Wallace is pulled from his deep slumber by the sound of voices in the kitchen. He yawns, stretching on Veronica and Logan's pull-out couch, before pulling himself up into a sitting position. He stands, rubbing sleep from his eyes as he makes his way toward the kitchen. When he gets to the doorway, however, he freezes, finding Veronica and Logan in the middle of an argument.

"Why don't you just tell them?" says Logan, his tone filled with irritation. "Get it out in the open."

"You were the one who said we should just pretend everything's fine," Veronica shoots back, brushing past Logan and opening the fridge.

"I didn't say that," he protests, turning to face her as she pulls out a carton of milk. "I wasn't expecting you to fucking  _lie_  about it. I just meant that we shouldn't let it overshadow everything."

"Yeah, well, that's not how it sounded." Veronica sloshes milk into a coffee mug and jerks the fridge door open again, replacing the carton in the door.

In the kitchen doorway, Wallace isn't sure what to do. He doesn't want to eavesdrop, but it's hard not to, and he's not sure whether to make his presence known or not.

"I'm just saying, maybe it would help," says Logan. "To tell Mac and Wallace."

_Tell us what?_  Wallace thinks.  _What the hell is going on here?_

"And I'm saying, it won't," Veronica counters. "I don't want them to know yet, so, just fucking leave it, okay?"

"Fine," Logan spits out.

"Fine."

Wallace doesn't miss the way Logan reaches for Veronica's arm, or the way she shoots him a glare as she wrenches it free, but it's at that moment Veronica turns toward the door and spots him standing there.

_Shit._

"Uh, morning, guys," he says quickly, stifling a yawn as he tries to look like he's only just woken up and hasn't been listening to their conversation. "Sleep well?"

"I'm gonna take Pony out. Get some air," she mutters as she brushes past Wallace.

Wallace watches her go before turning back to Logan with a frown. His best friend's husband's gaze is fixed in the direction Veronica just exited.

"Well, that was tense," Wallace says as he edges his way into the kitchen. "Everything okay?"

"What?" Logan tears his eyes away from the kitchen door as they hear the front door closing, then looks at Wallace with a frown. "Oh, yeah. It's fine."

"Right." Wallace isn't sure he believes him. "Sure."

"Well, I gotta get to the base," Logan announces after his phone pings with a message. "Chaos is giving me a ride so Veronica can take you and Mac to the airport. It was nice to have you guys staying this weekend. Hope you have a good flight back."

"Thanks," Wallace replies, forcing a smile, still a little unsettled from walking in on him and Veronica quarrelling.

A minute later, the front door opens and closes again, and Wallace finds himself alone downstairs. He pours a cup of coffee, then scarfs down a bowl of cereal, and as he's rinsing the bowl, he hears footsteps moving around above him. Mac must be up. He makes her a mug of coffee as well, then heads upstairs. Mac's door is partway open, but he knocks anyway, just in case.

"Come in," she calls out.

"Hey. Morning." Wallace pushes the door open, finding her fully dressed and packing clothes into her small case. "Coffee?"

Mac looks up from her packing, eyes lighting up when she sees the coffee mug. "Please."

She takes it from him, lifting it to her lips for a sip. "Mmm, just what I needed."

"Sleep well?"

"Yeah." She nods. "I think that wine last night helped."

"I'm sure it did." Wallace takes a seat on the end of the bed. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Mac places the mug down on the nightstand. "What's up?"

"Have you noticed anything weird with Veronica and Logan this weekend?" he asks. "I think something's going on."

Mac frowns. "What kind of something?"

"I don't know." Wallace shrugs. "I just walked in on them arguing downstairs; it seemed pretty heated. When they saw me, Veronica stormed out with Pony, and Logan went to work right after."

Mac shrugs. "They argue all the time. Remember high school and college?"

"Yeah, but not lately," Wallace points out. "They've been almost sickeningly loved up the last couple years."

"Good point," Mac concedes with a tilt of her head. "What were they arguing about?"

"Not sure, but Logan said she should tell us something and Veronica refused. She mentioned something about pretending everything was okay. Then he tried to grab her when she walked away," Wallace tells her, frowning as a thought springs to mind. "Hey, do you think they're separating and are just trying to keep up appearances?"

Mac looks at him incredulously. "No way. After all they've been through to be together? I don't think so."

"Well, something's up," Wallace says decisively. "You haven't noticed how she's trying too hard this weekend? It's like she's channelling her 'Amber' persona or something."

Mac seems to think for a moment, before nodding slowly. "Okay, yeah, I have noticed. She's walking Pony right now?" He nods. "Well, let's ask her when she gets back."

"Okay."

* * *

By the time Veronica returns from walking Pony, she's feeling calmer, though still a little pissed at Logan. She doesn't get it; last week, he was all about forgetting about things for a while and having fun with their friends, and now he's on her back about telling them everything. If she's honest, it's not the idea of telling Mac and Wallace what's going on that's got her rankled, it's that it feels like Logan's trying to make the decision for her. Surely, it should be should be up to her to decide whether she tells them or not, after all, she's the one with the problem, not him.

As she enters the house, letting Pony off her leash, she stops short at the sight of Mac and Wallace sitting together on the now-folded up couch, serious expressions on their faces.

"Morning, guys," she says, stepping into the living room. "What's going on?"

Wallace and Mac exchange a glance before Wallace speaks up. "Is everything okay, Vee?"

"Yeah... why wouldn't it be?" She takes a seat in the armchair to her right.

"Well, it's just, you've seemed a bit out of it this weekend," Mac pipes up.

"And you and Logan were arguing this morning," adds Wallace. "About not wanting us to know something."

Veronica frowns, hurt. "You were listening?"

"Not intentionally," Wallace says quickly. "I heard voices in the kitchen and I came to see what was going on."

Veronica looks between her two best friends. "What is this? Some kind of intervention?"

"No, not at all," says Mac. "We're just worried about you... and Logan. About you and Logan. The two of you. Together."

"Huh?" Veronica's feeling even more confused by the second.

"Are you guys having problems?" Wallace lays it out simply.

"What?" She blinks in surprise. "No. Of course not."

"See, I told you." Mac says to Wallace.

Wallace nods in acceptance. "But something is going on with you. What does Logan want you to tell us?"

Veronica purses her lips, lifting her eyes to the ceiling for a moment, before looking back at her friends again. "Look, guys, I appreciate your concern, but—"

"Veronica, come on, we're your best friends," says Mac then. "You can tell us anything. We're here to listen and support you in whatever you need."

A rush of warm emotion fills Veronica's chest and she smiles at her friends. "Thanks, guys. I appreciate it. I'm just not sure I can talk about it right now."

"Okay," Wallace relents. "But you and Logan are okay, right?"

"Yeah, we're okay." She stands pointing toward the kitchen. "I'm just gonna..."

"Sure."

Veronica starts crossing the room, but then stops to reconsider. Maybe she  _should_ tell them, maybe it  _would_  help to talk about it with someone other than Logan. Making a split decision, she turns back around and sits down again.

"Okay, here's the thing," she starts hesitantly. "At Christmas, Logan and I decided we wanted to have a baby—"

"Oh my God, you're pregnant!" Mac bursts out suddenly, her hand coming up to cover her mouth.

_I wish_ , thinks Veronica sadly, though aloud she says, "No, I'm not."

"Oh. Sorry," Mac says sheepishly. "I didn't mean to get overexcited. Carry on."

"Thanks. Anyway, uh, we've been trying since then, but I was getting worried because nothing was happening, so Logan suggested we see a doctor," Veronica says. "Well, apparently, it's pretty normal for it to take a while, and of course, with Logan being in Nevada, we hadn't spent much time together, but um, the doctor wanted to carry out some tests because of my medical history."

"Medical history?" Wallace frowns, looking confused.

However, Mac nods, realisation dawning in her expression. "The chlamydia."

"Yeah, isn't it great when the whole world finds out you've got an STD in open court?" Veronica quips sarcastically. "I didn't know I had it for more than two years, and by that time, it had developed into pelvic inflammatory disease. I got treated for both, and I've been fine ever since, but apparently untreated PID can lead to complications. One of which is infertility."

"Shit," Wallace says on an exhale. "God, Veronica..."

"Yeah." She shakes her head. "All those years I didn't want kids, and now that I do, seems I might not be able to have any after all."

"Do you know that for sure?" That comes from Mac.

"Not yet. We only saw the doctor the other day," she says. "It's just... I'm having trouble getting my head around it. I wasn't gonna say anything 'cause I didn't want it to affect your visit."

"Oh, Vee...I'm sorry," says Wallace apologetically. "I shouldn't have pushed."

"It's okay. You didn't know." She gives him a small smile. "It was just a stupid argument earlier; the other day, Logan said we should just have fun with you guys and not mention it, but then he went and changed his mind this morning. I was pissed because it should be my decision, not his."

"I get that, Veronica," says Mac, "but please don't feel like you have to hide things from us. We're your best friends; we love you and we're here for you anytime you need us."

"If you need to talk, just talk," adds Wallace.

"Thanks, you guys."

"Come here." Mac stands, holding out her arms. "Group hug."

Within seconds, Veronica finds herself enveloped in the arms of her two best friends. She relaxes, the tension in her body easing, not realising how much she needed this until right now.

* * *

"Logan, Veronica, it's good to see you again," greets Dr. Anderson with a warm smile as the two of them take a seat in the doctor's office on Tuesday afternoon.

"Dr. Anderson." Veronica nods, the nervousness in her tone evident to Logan.

He reaches out and squeezes her hand in support, and she gives a tight smile in response.

"Doctor," he adds, turning his focus to the doctor.

"Okay, since I can see you're eager for information, I'll get right to it." The doctor clasps her hands together in front of her as she leans forward behind her desk. "I have your test results here. Logan, I'll start with you: your samples came back healthy. You have a healthy sperm count, so I foresee no issues there."

Logan feels a rush of relief at the news, and he gives the doctor a smile. "That's good to hear."

"So, other than what we discussed last week, I don't have much to add in regards to you. Just keep doing what you're doing." Dr. Anderson gives him a smile, before turning to Veronica. "Veronica, while the tests we've done so far have all come back fine, all that really tells us is that you have no infections or pressing health problems right now."

"Okay, which means…?" Veronica's fingers tighten around Logan's, and he squeezes back in a show of support.

"It means that we aren't able to tell whether or not there has been any prior damage caused to your reproductive system due to the PID," the doctor says gently. "It would be my recommendation that we go ahead with an HSG X-ray to determine if there it has caused any scarring or blockages in your Fallopian tubes."

"And what does that entail, exactly?" Logan asks on Veronica's behalf.

"Well, it's a fairly simple procedure, and only takes a few minutes." The doctor smiles kindly. "Your uterus is filled with iodine, which will then show up on the x-ray images as it flows through your reproductive system. If the iodine doesn't flow properly or stops, that can indicate a blockage."

"And what happens if that's the case?" Veronica speaks up now, her voice a little shaky. Logan's heart goes out to her, though he has to admire the strength with which she's taking all of this.

"If there does appear to be a blockage, we may need to do a laparoscopy in order to look at your fallopian tubes directly," says Dr. Anderson.

"Okay, but… I mean, if there is a blockage or scarring, is there anything that can be done to fix it?" Veronica says. "Or is that it, and I can't have children at all?"

"Not necessarily," the doctor says, her tone gentle. "Depending on the nature of the damage, it may be possible to repair the blockage or scarring with a minor surgery. If we can do that, then there's a chance you may be able to become pregnant in the future."

"Really?" Veronica relaxes her grip on his hand and Logan can see the relief on her face.

"Yes, really," confirms the doctor with a smile. "Though of course, it's not a guarantee."

"No, of course not," Veronica agrees quickly. "I understand. So, uh, when can we do this X-ray?"

"Well, it's best done after your period but before ovulation," says Dr, Anderson. "So between about day one and fourteen of your cycle."

"Okay, well, my period started yesterday," Veronica says. "So, it should be over by Friday or Saturday."

"Right, well, in that case, we should try to schedule you in next week." The doctor turns to her computer screen. "I could fit you in on Tuesday morning."

Veronica gives a small smile. "That sounds good to me."

"Great. I'll schedule you in." The doctor types a few things, then prints an appointment confirmation and hands it to Veronica.

"Thanks," she says as she takes it. "Do I need to do anything beforehand, to prepare?"

"Not really." The doctor shakes her head. "Though I would recommend taking an over-the-counter painkiller about an hour before the appointment, as you may feel some discomfort during the procedure. You'll be in and out the same day, and you should be fine to drive home, though you may want to have someone pick you up afterward in case you don't feel well."

"Okay." Veronica turns to Logan just as he's about to say he won't be able to get away from work next week due to a planned exercise, seemingly reading his mind as she says, "Don't worry, if you can't get away, I can get an Uber, or even ask Sarah."

"All right." He nods, giving her hand another squeeze.

The doctor spends the next few minutes giving them some slightly more general information about trying to conceive and they leave the clinic armed with pamphlets.

"You okay?" Logan asks as they get in the car.

"Yeah." Veronica fastens her seatbelt. "I mean, not really, but I'm dealing. I just… God, back at Christmas, when I suggested having a baby, I never thought we'd end up here. I kind of assumed it would be easy. You know, ditch the birth control, get pregnant."

"Yeah, I know." He gives a solemn nod, already feeling a little guilty that he's perfectly healthy while she's having to deal with all of this. "I didn't consider this either. But we'll get through it, okay? Together."

"Yeah." She gives a soft smile. "Thank you."

He returns the smile, then starts the engine. "So, it's too late to get back to work now, but what do you say to ice cream?"

Veronica relaxes, her expression brightening. "I say ice cream sounds perfect."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, sorry for the delay in posting this next chapter - I wanted to wait until I had the next chapter finished before posting this one, but then I hit a brick wall and didn't write anything for weeks :(. I seem to be back on track now though, so hopefully I can get back to more regular updates again :).
> 
> To make up for it though, you get an extra long chapter today :).

**Late April 2019**

"Hey." Nick raises his hand in greeting as Veronica approaches him and Marley on the beach Friday afternoon, Pony tugging impatiently on her leash. "Long time."

"Yeah, sorry," she apologises, as the dogs get reacquainted, tails wagging eagerly. "The last couple of weeks have been kinda crazy."

"Hey, no worries." He smiles down at the dog. "We entertained ourselves, didn't we, Marls?"

"So, are we doing the usual today?" Veronica asks.

Their usual is to walk along the beach, throwing balls and frisbees for long enough that the dogs get tired, and then head over to May's Parlour for coffee and cakes.

"I thought so." Nick nods. "Haven't been to May's in a while."

"Cool."

They start walking in companionable silence. Before the whole thing with Dr. Anderson last week, and then Mac and Wallace coming out for the weekend, she and Nick had met up two or three times a week, usually just for an hour or two. Nick's becoming a good friend already, and it's nice, having someone to talk to outside of her Neptune friends and Sarah, someone she can vent to and get opinions from without him being emotionally involved. And same goes for her, she supposes—she gives him someone to chat to away from the Navy crowd. In fact, they rarely speak about the military stuff at all, and it's nice: just two civilians bonding over being civilians.

"So, you have a good Easter weekend?" asks Nick a few moments later.

Veronica smiles. "Yeah, I did, thanks. My best friends from California came out to visit, and we spent the weekend hanging out. How about you?"

"My wife's from New York, so we headed up there for the weekend to see the family," he says. "Her sister recently got engaged, so we threw her a small engagement party as well."

"That's nice."

"Yeah, it was a good weekend."

They spend the next thirty minutes or so playing with the dogs, before heading for the small café. It's Veronica's turn to buy the food and drinks, so Nick heads for their usual table by the window, while she orders and pays.

"I'm glad it's getting warmer here now," she says as she takes her seat a few moments later. "I know I spent a few years in New York, but I've been missing Southern California weather."

"I know what you mean," Nick agrees. "I grew up in Florida."

"Ah, so you get it." She smiles.

"I do."

Their order arrives just then and they tuck into the large slices of cake eagerly.

"Hey, you okay?" Nick asks after a couple of minutes. "You look exhausted today."

"Haven't been sleeping well," she admits. "Like I said, it's been a long couple of weeks."

"Anything I can help with?" he asks. "If you wanna vent, I mean."

"Thanks." She gives a small smile. "Actually, that might be good, you know. To talk to someone removed from the situation."

"I'm all ears," he says kindly.

Veronica takes a deep breath. "Okay, well, my husband and I are, um, trying for a baby at the moment—"

"Oh, that's great," he interrupts with a warm smile.

"Yeah," she murmurs. "I mean, it should be... it's just that... well, it isn't exactly happening yet, and we, uh, we went to see a doctor last week, you know, just in case something was wrong... and um..."

She lowers her head, trying to swallow down the emotion that's rapidly rising up in her throat.

"Hey, it's okay," he says quickly, looking concerned. "You don't have to tell me."

"No, it's fine," she says. "It just… it turns out that there's a chance I might not be able to have kids. I'm going to have some X-rays done next week, to see if there's anything wrong."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Veronica."

"Yeah... it's just been a lot to take in," she admits. "And my husband's been really great. It's just crazy because I never used to want kids... I mean, I took me months to come around to the idea, and then more than a year to decide I actually wanted to start trying, and now, after all that, it seems it might not even be possible anyway."

"I'm sorry," Nick says again, his expression sympathetic. "If there's anything I can do to help, just let me know."

"Thanks. I appreciate that," Veronica says, before shaking her head, clearing her thoughts. "Anyway, enough about my issues... any luck on the job front yet?"

"Not yet," he says, taking a sip of coffee. "I've been sending out resumés, and I've gotten a couple of interviews so far, but they haven't panned out."

"Sorry to hear that. I'm sure something will come along soon."

"I hope so," he says. "You had any more ideas about what you want to do?"

Veronica makes a face. In all the drama of the last couple of weeks, she hasn't even had a chance to think about getting a job here yet.

"No," she admits. "Though, it hasn't really been a priority lately."

"No, I guess not."

* * *

Logan gives a huff of frustration as he scans the bedroom one more time, tossing a handful of clothes onto the bed as he hunts for his missing cell phone.

_Where the hell is it? I had it last night._

"Hey, Veronica?" He heads out of the room and calls to her downstairs.

"Yeah?" comes her slightly muffled voice from the living room.

"You seen my cell? I can't find it anywhere."

"Have you tried calling it?" she returns. "Use my phone—it's on the dresser."

"Right, of course," he mutters to himself. "That would have made sense."

"Will do," he calls back more loudly. "Thanks."

Heading over to the dresser, he picks up her phone, types in the unlock code, and dials his number. His ringtone sounds from somewhere in the room, though it's muffled. He frowns, turning his head towards the sound, trying to pinpoint its location. After a several long moments of searching, he eventually finds the phone in the laundry basket.

"Huh." He looks at it in confusion. "How did you get in there?"

Dismissing it with a shake of his head, he pockets the phone and ends the call on Veronica's phone. He's about to return it to the dresser when it dings with a message.

_'Hey Veronica, enjoyed your company yesterday. You free again Monday?'_

Logan stares down at the text in incomprehension, noting the name at the top of the message: Nick.

_Who the fuck is Nick?_

Logically, he knows he shouldn't jump to conclusions; he knows that Veronica would never cheat on him… but he can't help the flicker of jealousy he feels at the knowledge that some guy called  _Nick_  is sending her messages, that this guy is 'enjoying her company' while he's at work. The phone still in his hand, he heads out of the bedroom and downstairs to the living room, where Veronica is curled up on the sofa with Pony.

"Hey, uh, you got a message," he says, trying to sound nonchalant as he hands the phone to her.

"Thanks," she says, taking it from him.

Logan clenches his jaw as he makes his way into the kitchen and grabs a soda from the fridge. Popping it open, he takes a sip as he walks back into the living room and takes a seat on the other side of Pony, reaching out to stroke the puppy.

"So…" he starts, trying to sound casual, eyeing Veronica as she types a reply. "Who's Nick?"

Her lips twitch as she frowns slightly, before she presses her lips together like she's trying not to smile and looks up from the phone. "Why… you jealous?"

"No," he says immediately, giving a scoff. "'Course not."

Veronica's eyes narrow as she studies him, and he finds himself fidgeting under her gaze. "You so are."

"Okay, maybe I am," he concedes. "So, who is he?"

She smiles. "Relax… he's Marley's owner. You know, Pony's new friend? We took the dogs to the beach yesterday afternoon and he just wants to know if we can do it again on Monday."

"Oh." Logan looks down at the soda can in his hand, feeling suitably contrite. "You didn't mention he was a guy."

Veronica scrunches her nose up. "What does  _that_  matter? We're walking our dogs, not having some illicit affair."

"It  _doesn't_  matter," he says quickly.

"No, obviously it does," she counters, putting the phone down and shifting to face him. "Or you wouldn't be bringing it up. I didn't mention he was a guy because it didn't even occur to me that it mattered." She runs a hand through her hair. "My best friend is a guy and you've never had a problem with him."

"No, you're right," he says. "I'm sorry."

"You  _know_  I would never cheat on you, Logan." She leans forward, reaching across Pony to lay a hand on his forearm. "Nick is just a friend, nothing more. You have absolutely no reason to be jealous."

"I know." Logan sighs, looking to the ceiling for a moment before turning back to her. "And I trust you completely. I just don't know if I trust this Nick guy to keep his hands off you."

"Well, for a start, he's happily married," she says. "And even if he wasn't and he did try something, I have self-defence training and am perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

"I don't doubt you are." Logan responds sincerely. "Just ignore that little bout of irrational jealousy."

"It's not irrational." Veronica shakes her head. "You think I don't get jealous, wondering what might be happening on the ship while you're away? Don't think I haven't heard the old 'what happens on deployment, stays on deployment' adage."

Logan stills, staring at her in surprise. "Wait, you can't possibly think—"

"No, I don't," she says firmly. "But while my head knows nothing would happen, that doesn't stop my heart from getting jealous sometimes."

"Touché," he replies. "And for the record, I would  _never_  take advantage of that adage. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did that to you."

"Thank you." She smiles, her expression turning affectionate as she leans across Pony to kiss him. "And me either."

"Guess we're even, then."

"Guess we are," she replies. "And you know, you should come meet Nick sometime. We could arrange something one weekend, all of us together, with his wife as well, if they want."

"Yeah... okay," agrees Logan, feeling a lot more relaxed. "That sounds good."

* * *

**End April 2019**

Tuesday afternoon arrives and Logan can't seem to concentrate. Thank God he's grading aeronautics theory tests, because he's too distracted to be out flying today. Veronica should be heading to the clinic for her HSG exam about now, and he's tied up in knots about what the X-ray might show. The last few days, he's been doing his best to be as supportive as he can, to assure her that even if it ends up being bad news, everything will be okay… but the truth is, the idea that after all this they might not be able to have children at all is affecting him more than he wants to admit.

In fact, it's pretty fucking devastating.

He's trying not to let it show, trying to be a pillar of strength for Veronica, but some days he's been struggling to keep it together. Because he  _does_  want kids. Badly.

He never entertained the idea in the past because he didn't think children were a possibility for him; in fact, given his bloodline, he thought the world would be better off if he didn't procreate, but now that he's allowed himself to believe that he could actually be a good father, and now that Veronica wants children too, he can barely think of anything else. And the worst part is, he's not sure how he's going to handle it if it does turn out they can't have them at all.

It's not like he's opposed to the idea of using other means, like adoption... but he honestly can't imagine Veronica going for it. A big part of the reason she finally decided to have a baby was that the child would be a part of both of them. He can't quite see her being as amenable to raising a child that isn't actually biologically hers.

"Hey man, you busy?"

Chaos' voice brings him out of his thoughts and Logan lifts his head to see his friend standing in the doorway of the office, hand poised to knock.

"Yeah, but I could do with a break," Logan admits, putting down his pen. "What's up?"

Chaos jerks his head down the corridor. "You wanna get a coffee or something?"

"Sure." Logan nods easily.  _Anything to get out of grading for a few minutes._

They head down to the crew room at the end of the squadron building. Logan grabs a couple of candy bars from a drawer in the kitchen area while the coffeemaker is brewing and when the drinks are ready, they settle back in the La-Z-Boy chairs across the room. Logan's thoughts once again go to Veronica as he glances at the clock, wondering how she's getting on at the clinic.

"Oh, hey," Chaos starts a couple of moments later. "Did you hear, Parsons is having a party thing at his and Michelle's place Friday night? It'll be the old OCS gang. You and Veronica will come, won't you?"

"What?" Logan blinks, pulling his attention back to Chaos. "Oh, yeah, Friday night. Sure, we'll be there."

Chaos frowns. "You okay, dude? You seem distracted."

"No... yeah, I'm fine," he says. "Just, uh... just tired. Didn't get much sleep last night."

"Veronica keep you up all night, huh?" Chaos' tone is suggestive as he waggles his eyebrows, but Logan struggles to react with more than a half-hearted smile.

"Something like that," he mutters, taking a gulp of coffee, followed by a bite of the chocolate bar in his hand.

In reality, he'd been up half the night due to a mixture of his own worry and trying to assure Veronica that no matter what happened at the clinic today, they would face whatever came at them together. Though if he's honest, he thinks the assurances might have been as much for his own benefit as hers.

* * *

Veronica swallows nervously as she lies back on the table in Dr. Anderson's office, undressed from the waist down, her lower half covered with a paper gown. She hates pelvic exams at the best of times, but this, right now, is so much worse than just a routine check-up; the results of this exam are going to determine her future.

"Just relax, Veronica," Dr. Anderson's soothing voice sounds from a couple of feet away. "Nothing to worry about."

"Yeah..." she murmurs, looking up at the ceiling. "Sure."

"Okay, you may feel some discomfort while I insert the speculum and inject the dye," says the doctor. "It should be no worse than your usual period cramps, but some women do find it painful. I'll go as slowly as I can, okay?"

"Okay." Veronica nods numbly.

The next few minutes as Dr. Anderson performs the HSG procedure are uncomfortable, to say the least. Veronica tries her best to keep from crying out, but when a sharp, cramping pain shoots through her abdomen, she can't help but inhale sharply in response.

"I'm sorry," the doctor apologises softly. "This'll only take a few more minutes."

Veronica squeezes her eyes shut and tries to think of something else, _anything_  else, to keep her mind off the torture currently being inflicted on her body. It's not easy though, especially with her knees up, an X-ray machine over her abdomen, and the doctor asking her to turn every few seconds. When Dr. Anderson finally removes the speculum and tells her she's all finished, Veronica gives a sigh of relief.

_Thank fucking God._

She gets herself cleaned up and dressed and then joins the doctor at her desk a few minutes later.

"All right, Veronica," says Dr. Anderson with a gentle smile. "I can give you the preliminary results now, but I do have to send the images off to the lab for further analysis, so we'll need to meet again in a few days when I have the results."

"Okay." Veronica nods quickly, her still sore stomach twisting up in knots in anticipation of what the doctor is about to say. "Well, don't leave me in suspense..."

"Right, well, the X-rays did show indication of a blockage being present, potentially in both of your fallopian tubes," the doctor tells her, her tone verging on apologetic as she gives her a kind smile.

_A blockage? In both tubes?_ The words echo in her mind.  _But then that means...it means I can't...Oh God. I'm going to throw up._

"Veronica, I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but please don't assume the worst, okay?" Dr. Anderson says in a voice Veronica thinks is supposed to be reassuring. "We'll know more from the lab analysis, but from the images I've seen today, it appears as though the dye was unable to enter your fallopian tubes."

"And… what does that mean?" Veronica's heart pounds in her ears as she only just manages to get the question out.

"Well, it could be a false positive, which does happen in about 15% of cases, or it may be that there are blockages right at the entrance of your uterus, rather than partway along the tubes or next to your ovaries." She points towards a diagram of the female reproductive system, indicating the area she means. "And that can be a good thing. Blockages next to the uterus are the easiest to fix, as it means we don't have to remove any part of the tubes, or risk damaging the ovaries."

Veronica sits back in her chair, taking that in, torn between bursting into distraught tears and daring to feel hopeful. "So, you can fix it? I'll be able to have children?"

"Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves here," warns Dr. Anderson. "It's too soon to tell just yet, but if the lab results do indicate a blockage next to the uterus, we can try a laparoscopy to get a better look at exactly what's causing it, and even see if we can clear the blockage at the same time."

"Okay." Veronica finds herself nodding, even as her head starts spinning with the new information.

"But you need to bear in mind that even if we can do that, it's not a guarantee that you'll be able to become pregnant," the doctor tells her. "There's also a good chance that the blockages could reform within a few months due to post-surgical adhesions. You do need to be prepared for that possibility."

"Right." Veronica swallows, sobering as she tries to push down the lump she feels forming in her throat. "And does that happen often?"

"Unfortunately, it does," Dr. Anderson admits. "In about 80% of cases, the tubes become blocked again within six months."

"Six months?" Veronica's mouth drops open in dismay, her heart sinking.

"But that doesn't mean that will definitely happen, or that you won't be able to get pregnant after the procedure, okay?" Dr. Anderson adds. "You do need to know all of the facts though."

"Yeah… I understand." Veronica's not even sure how to feel right now.

"Look, I'll give you a call when the results are back and we can go from there," the doctor says kindly.

"Thank you, Dr. Anderson."

As Veronica gets up to leave the room, she winces, folding in on herself a little as her belly cramps.

"Are you feeling all right, Veronica? Any pain?"

"Yeah." She straightens, rubbing her stomach. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just cramps."

"Yes, you may experience cramping for a day or two and you might have some spotting, but that's normal. I would, however, abstain from intercourse for a couple of days," advises the doctor. "But if any bleeding lasts longer than that or you're in a lot of pain, don't hesitate to come back and see me, okay?"

"I won't."

Veronica gives the doctor a small smile, before leaving her office and making her way back to the reception area of the clinic. As she gets there, Nick stands from where he's been sitting reading a magazine, and walks over to her.

"All done?"

"Yeah," she says softly. "Thanks for giving me a ride."

"No problem." He gives a small smile. "You okay?"

Veronica shrugs, not really sure how she feels at the moment. She hasn't even managed to get her head around the events of the last hour yet. "I'm a bit sore."

"Sorry to hear that." He gives her a sympathetic smile. "You ready to go home?"

"Yeah, I'm ready."

In something of a daze, she follows Nick out to the parking lot. They head to his car and he drives her back to the house.

"Thanks again for coming," she tells him as she reaches for the passenger door handle. "I wouldn't have asked, except my friend couldn't help out."

Truth is, she hasn't told Sarah what she's going through yet, especially as her friend is pregnant again. She didn't really want to get into any explanations about it by asking her for a ride. And okay, so she could have taken an Uber, but Nick offered to help, and given that he knows and has been understanding about it, she accepted gratefully.

Nick just nods in return. "I hope everything turns out okay."

"Thanks."

She climbs out of the car, giving him a wave before turning toward the house. Once inside, she gives Pony a quick greeting before heading right upstairs to take a shower in an attempt to get rid of the icky, violated feeling from the examination. She dresses in pyjama pants and one of Logan's large sweatshirts, before curling up on her side in bed and pulling the covers tight around her. Her hand covers her stomach, still tender and cramping slightly, as she finally lets out all the emotions she's been holding in since she left Dr. Anderson's office.

* * *

Logan leaves the base as early as he can, anxious to get home to Veronica and find out how the HSG went. She hasn't called him yet, but then her appointment wasn't until three o'clock, so for all he knows she might still be there. He arrives home just after five-fifteen to find Pony alone in the living room.

"Veronica, you here?" he calls, heading up the stairs. "I'm home."

"Bedroom," he hears her muffled voice sound from down the hall.

He enters their room to find Veronica curled up on her side in bed, her face pale and features taut.

"Hey." He moves quickly to her side, taking a seat beside her on the edge of the bed and reaching out to stroke her hair back from her face. "You okay? What happened?"

"It hurts, Logan," she says tiredly. "It was really painful."

"The exam?" he asks, letting his fingers trail along her hairline.

"Yeah. It was horrible. She inserted—" She stops, scrunching up her nose. "You know what, I don't think you wanna know."

Logan grimaces. "You're probably right."

"Yeah."

Logan's torn between gathering her in his arms and holding her close and asking the question that's been on his mind all afternoon. He opts for the question.

"So, uh, other than the pain, how did it go?"

She closes her eyes, giving a barely perceptible shake of her head. "Not so good."

Logan's hand freezes against her scalp. "What happened?"

"Dr. Anderson said the X-ray showed signs of blockages in both tubes," she says softly, keeping her eyes closed. "When there are no blockages, the dye is supposed to travel through them without stopping, but with me, it didn't go anywhere."

Logan's stomach drops. This was what he'd been afraid of. What they'd both been afraid of.

"Shit, Veronica. I'm sorry."

She regards him sadly, and he notices her eyes are red-rimmed and bloodshot. "We still need to wait for the labs to come back, and she did say it could be a false positive, but..."

"But there's a good chance it's bad news," he finishes for her flatly.

"Yeah." She sucks in a long breath, shifting onto her back and lifting her hands to her forehead, pushing back her hair. "I mean, she did say that it looked like the blockages might be next to the uterus, which is easier to fix than if they were further along."

"Well, that's something, I guess," is all he can manage, not really knowing what else to say.

_God, after all this time...almost two years of arguing and debating and then finally deciding to try for a baby, and it_ co _uld have all been in vain._

"Hey, scoot over," he says then as he kicks off his shoes. She complies and he slides into the bed beside her. "Come here."

He pulls her close, wrapping his arms around her as best he can.

"I'm sorry," he tells her. "And I'm sorry I couldn't be there with you."

"It's okay," she mumbles, resting her hand over his chest and snuggling close.

"Did Sarah give you a ride today?" he asks after a moment.

"No." She shakes her head against him. "She was busy this afternoon. Plus, I didn't really want to have to tell her why I was there."

"So, you got an Uber?"

"No, actually, Nick gave me a ride there and back."

Logan frowns, stiffening slightly. "Nick?"

"Yeah," she says. "He offered when we were walking the dogs yesterday."

"Wait." Logan slides out from under her, sitting up and turning to face her. "You didn't want to tell Mac and Wallace about this, and you won't tell Sarah... but you told this Nick guy? You've only known him, what, six weeks?"

"So?" she responds heatedly, wincing as she pulls herself up to a sitting position as well. "I thought you wanted me to talk about it with someone?"

"Yeah, with your best friends, who know you and love you," he retorts. "Not some random dude you just met."

Her eyes narrow, her jaw clenching with irritation. "Please tell me this isn't you being jealous again? I thought we already covered this."

Logan throws off the covers in frustration and stands, glaring at her. "Damn fucking right I'm jealous, Veronica! How could you take this guy—someone you barely know, someone I haven't even met yet—to your fucking fertility appointment? That shit is personal, for fuck's sake. It's supposed to be a private thing between us."

"Logan, calm down, okay?" she returns, sounding frustrated. "It was just a ride. Geez."

"It was not just a fucking ride, Veronica," he grinds out, running a hand through his hair. "Was he there with you at the clinic?"

"He sat in the waiting area while I was with Dr. Anderson," she says. "There wasn't much point in him going home."

"Right." He scoffs, looking to the ceiling. "And I suppose he offered a shoulder to cry on afterwards?"

Veronica just stares at him for a long moment, her lips pursing, before she climbs off the other side of the bed. "You know what, fuck this, Logan. I don't need your jealous bullshit right now."

"Fine," he spits out. "I'm outta here."

He grabs his shoes from the floor, then storms out of the room. He's partway down the stairs when he hears Veronica's feet on the carpet behind him.

"You think I didn't wish you were there with me instead of him, Logan?" The despairing tone in her voice makes him stop in his tracks.

He turns, finding her standing in the hallway, looking small and timid in his sweatshirt.

"I needed you with me," she says, sounding distraught. "I needed you to hold my hand and talk me through it and tell me everything would be fine. But you weren't."

Logan opens his mouth to protest that he would have been there in a heartbeat if he could, but she gets there first.

"And I know it wasn't your fault you couldn't be there, but that didn't stop me wishing you were," she admits. "And for the record, Nick wasn't a shoulder to cry on. He drove me there, waited for me, and drove me home. That was it."

Logan sucks in a deep, calming breath, his anger deflating at the forlorn expression on her face.

"God, I'm sorry." He returns to the top of the stairs, coming to a stop in front of her.

Veronica just raises an eyebrow and crosses her arms, jaw set and shoulders squared. "What for?"

"Huh?" He's confused.

"What  _exactly_  are you sorry for?" she repeats tightly. "For yelling at me when I feel like shit already? For being a jealous asshole?"

"For everything," he tells her sincerely. "For getting angry; for being jealous; for not coming with you today." He takes her hands in his, saying sincerely, "And I'm so sorry that you're having to go through all of this. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have even thought about kids and you wouldn't be in this position now. If I could make everything better, I would."

Veronica nods slowly, her eyes lowered. "That's not your fault, Logan. It's just… life. Fate. Whatever you want to call it."

She gives a helpless shrug and Logan tightens his hands around hers.

"Look, it really was nothing more than a ride from a friend," she says a moment later. "And I only told Nick at all because he was a neutral party; because I knew he wouldn't judge or pity me."

"Yeah, okay. I guess I can understand that," Logan relents. "But Veronica, this is our personal life; this is about you and me and our future. And the idea that some guy I don't even know was there with you when I wasn't…"

He swallows, trying not to let his real emotions show, not wanting to dump his angst on her; she's going through enough already. Apparently he's not successful though, because she scrutinises him with suspicion.

"What's really going on, Logan?"

"Nothing." He shakes his head, forcing a smile. "Everything's fine."

"Logan…" Her voice holds a hint of warning.

"Seriously, nothing's going on," he insists, though it's not exactly the truth. He just can't bear to make her feel any worse than she already does by unloading his own fears and worries onto her. "Look, I'm really sorry about the results today. I know this wasn't what we were hoping for."

"Yeah. Me too."

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired. Sore." She looks up at him hopefully, apologetically. "In need of a hug."

"Come here."

Logan wraps his arms around her, holding her close as her arms slide around his waist, his chin coming to rest gently on her head.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," he says, letting his hand run up and down her back comfortingly. "I was worried about you being alone at the appointment, and then to find out this Nick guy was there, it just… got to me."

"Logan…" She lifts her head. "He's my friend. That's all. Just because he's a guy, it doesn't mean there's anything to be jealous of. Would you have felt the same if Sarah had gone with me instead?"

"I guess not," he admits, feeling terrible now for jumping to conclusions and letting jealousy take over.

"Exactly."

"Yeah, okay. I get it. I'm sorry. Again," he apologises softly, looking down at her as one hand comes up cup her neck, his thumb running along her cheek. "Look, everything's going to be fine. I know it will."

"I hope so," she says. "I'm not quite sure it's sunk in yet though."

"It will be." He assures her. Even if he's not sure he believes it himself right now, he's going to believe it for her sake. "I love you, Veronica."

She smiles. "I love you, too."

He lowers his head towards hers, watching her expression to make sure she's okay with this. She nods slightly, and he smiles, closing the gap and capturing her lips in a gentle kiss. It's been a while since they've been intimate, neither of them being particularly in the mood for the last few days, given everything going on lately, and Logan would love nothing more than to lose himself in her right now. She deepens the kiss and Logan's body responds eagerly, but as his hand slides down to the small of her back, intending to bring her closer, she pulls away.

"As much as I'd like to, in principle," she says, "after the torture I just went through today, I'm not feeling it."

"Oh… sorry." Logan moves back a little.

"Plus, Dr. Anderson said we shouldn't for a couple of days anyway." She gives a shrug. "Sorry, doctor's orders."

"That's okay," he says, running his hands along her arms. "So, what do you feel like doing tonight? We'll do whatever you like."

"I think," she says, leaning back a little so she can look up at him properly. "I want to order take-out, curl up with you and Pony on the sofa, and watch a movie. And maybe some pampering would be good too."

He smiles. "Of course."

* * *

**Early May 2019**

Logan arrives with Veronica at the party hosted by his fellow officer Parsons on Friday evening to find the house teeming with people. Logan recognises most of the party-goers, greeting them with either a nod and a smile or with a 'how's it going?' and a clap on the back, depending on how well they know each other.

As they head over to the kitchen to grab a drink, Logan notices Veronica is hanging back a little, so he takes her hand, linking their fingers and pulling her a little closer.

"You okay?" he asks quietly. "We don't have to stay for long if you're not up to it."

"No, I'm okay." She gives a small smile. "It'll probably do me good to get out of the house for a bit."

Since her HSG exam three days ago, Veronica's been out of sorts, just moping around the house, not really doing much except taking Pony out around the block occasionally. Logan's been trying his best to cheer her up, but since he can't really understand what she's going through, it's hard to know how to help.

She received a call from Dr. Anderson this morning before he left for work, saying that the lab results did show abnormalities and that she wanted to schedule Veronica in for a laparoscopy on Wednesday next week, both to determine the cause of the blockage and to treat it if possible. It's going to involve a general anaesthetic and possibly several hours in the hospital, so Logan is taking the day off to go with her. After allowing herself a few minutes to cry, letting Logan comfort her with a tight hug, Veronica composed herself, brushed it off, and told him to have a good day and that she'd see him tonight for the party.

While it was a little disconcerting to see her go from depressed and mopey to acting as if nothing's wrong, her attitude today has been much more like the Veronica he knows—the strong Veronica who doesn't let the crap life throws at her get her down—and he supposes that can only be a good thing right now.

"Here you go," she says, grabbing herself a beer and handing him a soft drink. They head back to the living room and turn to face the party-goers. "Okay, so talk me through who's who."

"Right, well, over there—" he points to the left corner of the room. "—is Tank. He went through OCS and Pensacola with us, but then got sent to Mississippi when we went to Texas. By the window, that's Casper; we were at Lemoore together. And—"

"Hey there, stranger," a familiar voice interrupts him.

Logan turns, breaking into a grin as he steps forward to hug the woman beside him. "Hey, what are you doing here? It's good to see you."

"You too, Mouth," she replies, before nudging him and nodding toward Veronica. "Aren't you going to introduce us?"

"Veronica, this is Firefly… also known as Amy," he says with a smile. "We knew each other in flight school, and she was on the ship when I went back after Bilbo died too. Firefly, meet Veronica, my wife."

"You guys got married? How did I not know that?" Firefly's smile widens as she steps forward to shake Veronica's hand. "Lovely to finally meet you, Veronica. Logan's told me a lot about you."

"Really?" Veronica's eyebrow rises as she shoots Logan a look. "That sounds vaguely ominous."

"Oh, don't worry. It was mostly just him pining over missing you when we were on the ship a couple years back." Firefly rolls her eyes at him and he gives her a withering look in return.

"So what are you doing here?" Logan repeats. "I thought you were at Lemoore now?"

"Oh, I was, but it was just a short-term posting," she explains. "Came back here a few months ago."

"Cool." Logan nods, before glancing around the room. "So, where's the other half? Haven't seen him in years."

"Oh, he's around here somewhere." Firefly shrugs. "He went to find the bathroom, I think."

She looks between him and Veronica then. "So when did you guys get hitched? Congratulations, by the way."

Veronica gives Firefly a friendly smile, and Logan relaxes, glad they seem to be getting on. "We got married last January, just before Logan went out on deployment again."

"That's great." Firefly returns the smile. "So, Virginia must be a big change from Southern California, huh?"

"Yeah, I'll say." Veronica nods in agreement.

"What are you doing for work out here?" Firefly asks. "Logan told me you're a PI, but that you have a law degree and took the California bar as well?"

"Yeah, that's right," Veronica replies. "I'm not really doing much right now. Still trying to figure it out. The law degree is a bit redundant here as I'd have to take the bar again to practise in Virginia and that would take several months. I do miss the PI work though. I've only done it in California, so I'm really sure how to get back into it out here."

Firefly nods. "It's gotta be tough starting over. My husband's in a similar position." She glances across the room. "Ah, here he is now, oh and he comes bearing alcohol."

Logan looks over to see the familiar blond man heading towards them. When the man sees Logan, he breaks into a friendly smile.

"Logan? Hey, it's good to see you," Firefly's husband greets, passing a drink to his wife so he can shake Logan's hand.

"Taylor!" Logan grins. "How are you, man?"

There's a small gasp from beside him and Logan turns his head to see Veronica looking at them in surprise.

"Nick?"

Firefly's husband blinks, looking surprised as he notices her there. "Veronica?"

Logan looks between the two of them in confusion. "Wait…  _this_  is Nick? With the dog called Marley?"

" _You're_  Veronica's husband?" Nick Taylor appears equally confused for a moment, before he relaxes and he breaks into a smile. "Wow, small world, huh?"

Veronica shakes her head, seeming to be struggling to make sense of the scene before her. "You guys know each other?"

"Oh, we go way back, don't we, Echolls?" Nick grins. "Amy and I have been together since college… we got married not long after. So, wherever she went for training, I ended up too."

"This is… wow." Veronica looks stunned. "I never even thought… it  _is_ a small world."

"Oh my God, Veronica is your dog-walking buddy?" Firefly says then, having been observing the conversation with curiosity. "That's crazy."

"Yeah, it is kinda," says Nick, giving Veronica a smile.

As the other three make small-talk, Logan finds himself wondering how he could have been crazy enough to be jealous, to think that 'Nick' was a threat. In all the time he's known him, the guy has been totally besotted with Amy. The two of them were basically attached at the hip right through flight training, and from the way Firefly spoke of him on deployment two years ago, and how they're acting around each other this evening, those feelings don't seem to have diminished over time either.

"Oh my God, I've just had a great idea!" exclaims Firefly suddenly, interrupting the conversation. "Veronica, you're hoping to get back into the PI business, right? And Nick's in IT, but he's been stuck without work for a few months now. Maybe you guys should team up, set up a small business or something?"

"Oh, I don't know…" Veronica starts hesitantly.

"No, actually I think that's a good idea," Logan speaks up then, giving Veronica a small supportive smile, trying to convey an apology for jumping to conclusions about Nick. "You've been itching to get out of the house for weeks. Maybe this could be the solution."

"Hon?" Firefly looks up at her husband.

"Yeah." Nick nods slowly, glancing toward Veronica who seems to be warming to the idea. "Yeah, that might work. Of course, we'd have to figure out a lot of details, but it's an idea."

"Awesome." Firefly grins, looking pleased with herself. "This is really cool, all of us here together." She turns to Logan then. "Hey, did I hear Chaos was stationed here now too?"

"He is," says Logan. "In fact, he and Sarah are supposed to be here tonight. Haven't seen them yet though."

"Oh, hey, there's Sarah," Veronica speaks up then, pointing toward the front hall. "I'm gonna go say hi."

Logan smiles as Veronica eases her way through the crowd of people in the living room. So far, the evening is going well, and Veronica seems much more like her normal self than she has in weeks, despite everything she's dealing with. He just hopes she's truly going to be okay and that she's not just putting on a front for him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Early May 2019**

"I had a good time tonight," says Veronica when they get home from Parsons' party late Friday night.

"Yeah, it was fun," agrees Logan, following her into the living room.

He watches as she pulls off her jacket and lays it on the arm of the sofa, before he steps up behind her and slides his arms around her waist.

"You seem in good spirits," he comments, dropping a kiss to the side of her neck.

She smiles. "Yeah, well, I've had a couple of glasses of wine."

"I recall," he says, smiling as he remembers how she and Firefly spent half the evening giggling uncontrollably—at what, he still has no idea—while Sarah, pregnant and unable to drink, just observed them with bemusement.

She turns in his embrace, bringing her arms up to the back of his neck as she gives him a lazy, affectionate smile. "Love you, Echolls. Not sure what I'd do without you."

"Me too."

There's a familiar tightening in his chest in response to the look in her eyes. With everything going on lately, it's been a while since she's looked at him like that, like she wants him. And while he'd like nothing more than to sweep her up in his arms and show her exactly how much he loves her, there's something he needs to say first.

"Hey, listen," he says, linking his fingers against her lower back. "I owe you an apology."

She frowns adorably, looking puzzled. "What for?"

"I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions about Nick," he admits. "He's a good guy."

The moment he realised he actually knows the guy Veronica's been hanging out with, and that he is indeed happily married—to one of Logan's fellow officers, in fact, the guilt was quick to set in.

"Yeah," she says pointedly, raising an eyebrow. "I know."

"I shouldn't have assumed the worst."

"No, you shouldn't," she agrees with a nod.

"It's not that I didn't believe or trust you," he adds. "I just hated the idea that someone else was there for you instead of me."

"No," she says then, causing him to frown in confusion. "You hated the idea that another  _guy_  was there for me."

He has no comeback for that; she's right. So, he just shrugs in surrender and says, "Guilty as charged."

"Look," she says, tightening her arms around his neck. "It's not like I went out there and said, ' _I'm gonna go find some random guy to spill all my personal secrets to'_. It was just easier to talk to him than the others. I love Mac and Wallace, but they know everything about me, they know what I've gone through in the past and how this is affecting me now; and I'd feel weird talking to Sarah about it because apparently all Chaos has to do is look at her a certain way and she gets pregnant.

"Yeah, I know," he agrees. She's got a point. "And I get it. So, I'm sorry."

She smiles. "Thank you."

"We good?" he asks, just to be sure.

"Uh, huh." She nods. "All good."

"Great."

"Awesome," she murmurs, her eyes dropping to his mouth, her attention seeming to shift now. "Now we've established that, can we get back to the topic at hand?"

Logan's eyebrows draw together. "Which was?"

"This."

She rises up, her lips meeting his in a soft kiss. Her mouth moves over his gently at first, but she soon parts her lips, deepening the kiss. His hands flatten on her lower back, holding her close as he returns it with equal fervour. When she pulls back, he opens his eyes to find her looking up at him with hooded eyes and a soft, tender smile.

"Oh, that." He flashes a grin. "Yeah, I think that's a topic we need to cover right away."

"I agree." Still smiling, she steps out of his embrace and holds out her hand in invitation. "Come to bed?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

He nods, sliding his hand in hers and squeezing lightly as he lets her lead him up the stairs. When they get to the bedroom, Veronica closes the door and moves to stand in front of him, her hands coming to rest on his waist as she looks up at him, her gaze tender.

"I'm tired of feeling like crap, Logan," she says quietly. "Will you help me forget for a while?"

Logan smiles as he lifts a finger to brush the hair from her face. "What did you have in mind?"

Her tone is soft, almost pleading as she says, "Make love to me?"

"Of course," is his equally soft reply.

He cups the back of her neck and lowers his head towards hers, capturing her lips in a tender kiss, trying to convey all of his love and support through the embrace. Her fingers dig into his waist, low moan sounding in her throat and he slips his free arm around her, holding her close as his tongue slips between her lips.

They kiss for several long moments, just enjoying the intimacy, but then he pulls back, hiding a smile when Veronica whimpers at the loss of contact. He bends, picking her up in his arms, bridal-style, and carrying her to the bed, gently laying her down on the mattress.

Tugging off his shirt and jeans, but leaving his boxers on for now, he climbs onto the bed. He takes his time undressing her, his mouth travelling down over her bare skin as he goes, tongue flicking out to taste her as he shows her just how special she is to him. His fingers slide across her stomach, resting there for a long moment. He looks up at her, pressing a soft kiss just below her belly button as he tries to convey that he loves every part of her, no matter what. Her fingers tangle in his hair as she smiles down at him with nothing but love in her eyes.

"I love you," he murmurs softly. "Always."

* * *

A myriad of emotions swirl in Veronica's chest as she looks down at Logan, his hands gently cupping her stomach as he presses a tender kiss to her flesh. The gesture causes a lump to rise in her throat, as she realises what he's trying to say.

He loves all of her, regardless.

"I love you, too." Her voice catches on the words.

Logan smiles, dropping another kiss to her stomach before moving lower and dipping his fingers below the waistband of her pants. She lifts her hips in invitation and he eases both her pants and underwear down over her hips. He drops them to the floor, then settles between her legs, looking to her for permission. With a smile, she gives a nod, then sucks in a breath when he parts her lips with his fingers and lowers his mouth to her sensitive flesh.

As he works his magic, kissing and licking and stroking her intimately, Veronica lets go of all the stress and heartache and worry of the last few weeks and focuses purely on the pleasurable sensations Logan is arousing in her right now. She needs this, needs to feel loved and desired, needs to forget about everything else for a while.

"God… yeah, right there…" she murmurs breathily, tightening her fingers in his hair as his tongue hits that sweet spot… the one that never fails to send white hot pleasure shooting through her whole body. "That's…it…"

And then she's riding it out, intense waves of orgasm crashing over her, and it almost feels like it's washing her clean, dissolving all the negative thoughts and feelings. For the first time in the three weeks since all this started, she feels relaxed… happy, even.

"You okay?" whispers Logan when she comes down, looking up at her with a soft, tender expression.

"Uh huh…" is all she can manage, her breathing heavy and skin soaked with sweat. "Wow, that was… I really needed that."

"Glad I could be of service." He smiles.

His response tugs at something in her heart and she swallows, her voice catching slightly as she says, "Get up here."

Logan grins, rising onto all-fours, then sliding over her, his hips coming to rest between hers. His arousal presses against her intimately, hot and hard even through the soft material of his boxers, and Veronica can't help moving her hips against him, already aching for release again. Logan supports his weight on his forearms as he looks down at her, his eyes dark and filled with desire. She can't look away, caught in the intensity of his gaze. It's only when he lowers his head and his lips meet hers in a soft caress that her eyes slide closed and she loses herself in the kiss. As the kiss deepens, his fingers brush gently against the sides of her neck and the touch sends shivers down her spine.

He presses firmly against her centre, the brush of his hard length against her clit through his boxers causing her to gasp against his mouth. She needs him inside her, needs to feel loved and cherished and happy. Her hands travel down over his back, fingers tracing the muscles beneath the warm, smooth skin. She dips her fingers beneath the waistband, then slides her hands lower, squeezing the supple flesh as she tugs him even closer, rocking her hips more sharply so that his arousal presses against the very spot that never fails to make her see stars.

Veronica inhales sharply, tearing her mouth from his, aching to feel him inside her. Logan's mouth moves to her neck as she tugs at his boxers and he takes the hint, shifting so she can ease them down. When they're out of the way, Veronica slips a hand between their bodies, wrapping her fingers around his length and stroking slowly. He makes a soft sound against her skin, burying his face in her neck.

She positions him at her entrance and he lifts his head, looking down at her with affection as he asks, "You good?"

She can't keep the gentle smile from her face as she replies, "I'm good."

"Good." He smiles, kissing her softly.

Veronica can feel every inch of him as he slowly enters her and she bites her lip as her eyes slide closed. This feels like coming home, and it's been too long since she felt it. As Logan rocks gently, his movements slow and deliberate inside her, she begins to regret not being more intimate with him over the last few weeks. She's missed this… the feeling of completeness and contentment she's only ever experienced with him. And when he brings her to the edge of orgasm, then proceeds to make sure she tips over into ecstasy at the same time he does, the feeling of completeness is combined with feelings of overwhelming love and contentment.

Afterwards, they lie together in bed, sheets pulled haphazardly over their rapidly cooling bodies, just savouring the moment. Veronica snuggles close to Logan's side, wanting to prolong the feeling of closeness, the fingers of her right hand linked with his left and resting on his abdomen.

"This is nice," she murmurs softly.

"Yeah, it is." He agrees, the fingers of his other hand sliding along her arm.

"I'm sorry for being distant the last few weeks," she says. "I just…it's…"

She trails off, not quite sure how to articulate how she's been feeling lately.

"It's okay, you don't need to explain," he says gently. "I get it."

Veronica tilts her head up, opening her mouth to say more, but when she sees the understanding expression on his face, she closes it, relaxing against him again.

"Thank you," she murmurs. "For being understanding."

He nods, gently squeezing her fingers between his. "Come on, let's get some sleep."

* * *

Logan sits in the hospital waiting room on Wednesday morning, his leg bouncing nervously. Veronica is in surgery for her laparoscopy right now, so he's stuck out here, anxiously waiting and hating that he can't do anything to help.

A couple of seats along from him sits a young mother with a small, gurgling baby in her arms and a blonde-haired toddler, who is over in the small play corner, chatting away to herself as she plays with a toy tractor. Logan smiles as the little girl discards the tractor for a bright red fire truck and starts pushing it across the floor. The place is empty apart from the four of them, which means she has free rein of the waiting room. It doesn't take long for the girl, head down and fully concentrating on her fire truck, to run it right into Logan's leg.

"Emma, what did I tell you about looking where you're going?" the mother scolds, a stern expression on her face.

"Hey, it's okay," Logan says quickly. "No harm done."

The woman gives him a grateful smile. "Even so… say sorry to the nice man, Emma."

"Sorry, nice man," says the little girl, looking up at him with wide, innocent eyes.

"It's okay, but thank you," he replies courteously, before nodding to the truck. "That's a cool-looking fire truck."

Emma doesn't respond, her attention focused on the toy again as she starts pushing back across the floor. Logan can't seem to take his eyes off her as she goes.

"You have any of your own?" the woman enquires after a moment.

"Oh." Logan straightens at the stark reminder of why he's here. "No, not yet. We're trying. My wife is…" He nods in the direction of the corridor. "It's, uh, it's been a little more difficult than we thought."

"Isn't it always?" she responds.

"I guess so."

As he glances toward the small baby in the woman's arms, and then back to Emma playing on the floor, the overwhelming desire to have a child of his own rears its ugly head. The sheer longing for it makes his stomach clench and his chest tighten with emotion. He can't bear to think how he's going to feel if it doesn't happen. Of course, he meant what he said: he's in this marriage for the long-haul, even if they can't have kids, but he can't help but wonder if there will always be this niggling sense, just below the surface, that something's missing in his life.  _This has to work. It just_ has _to_. Because as long as it does, he won't have to think about the alternative.

"Lieutenant Echolls?"

Logan looks up in the direction of the voice, his thoughts abandoned for now as he sees the doctor who performed Veronica's surgery—a lean, middle-aged man with salt-and-pepper hair—walking along the corridor towards him.

"Yes?" He stands quickly and meets the man halfway.

"Veronica's out of surgery now," Dr. James says with an encouraging smile. "The procedure went well and we were able to open the blockages in the fallopian tubes."

"Thank God." Logan exhales heavily, relief flooding through him. "Can I see her?"

"She'll be in the Post Anaesthesia Care Unit for the next hour or two," the doctor informs him, "then depending on how she's recovering, we may need to keep her in overnight, but if not, she'll be discharged and you can take her home."

"That's great." He flashes a smile. "Thank you, Dr. James."

"All part of the job, sir." The doctor returns the smile. "I'm needed elsewhere right now, but someone will let you know when you can see her."

"Thank you," repeats Logan gratefully.

As he returns to the waiting room, running his hand through his hair and sinking down into his seat, he notices that the woman with the baby is watching him curiously. He shoots her a quizzical glance in return.

"Sorry," she says quickly. "I didn't mean to stare… it's just, I thought you looked familiar. You're Logan Echolls."

"I am." Logan plasters a smile on his face, not really in the mood to be entertaining his father's fans right now.

"I used to be a fan when I was younger," she admits, looking a little embarrassed.

Logan raises an eyebrow. "You know my father was a no-talent asshole, right?"

"Oh, no, not your father," she clarifies, looking surprised. "I was a fan of  _you_."

"Of me?" He suppresses an incredulous snort. "Why?"

"I don't know." She shrugs. "You were in some of the articles and that Tinseltown Diaries episode… and you seemed kind of lost, you know, acting out and all that. I thought it was great that you got yourself straightened out and joined the Navy."

"Wow, uh… thanks." Logan blinks, not used to people giving him the benefit of the doubt over his past actions.

"And you know," she says, adjusting the baby in her arms as she leans a little closer to him. "We didn't believe the Bonnie DeVille accusations for a second. I'm glad that lawyer managed to clear your name."

"Yeah, me too," he agrees. "Though she's not actually a lawyer. She's a PI."

"Right." She nods. "I remember now… her name was… Veronica, right? Veronica Mars?"

Logan grins. "Veronica Echolls now."

The woman breaks into a grin. "You guys got married?"

"Uh huh… last January."

"Congratulations."

"Thanks."

This whole conversation is so surreal, being recognised in a hospital in Virginia Beach, talking with some random woman about his past. The last couple years, he's mostly managed to stay under the radar.

"Wait, you said you and your wife were…" She says, realisation obviously dawning as she glances in the direction the doctor appeared from. "Oh."

"Yeah." He nods. "But we'd rather keep a low profile and not advertise being here, so…."

"Oh, yes. Of course," she responds quickly. "My lips are sealed."

"Thanks." He smiles. "I appreciate that, uh…?"

He just looks at her in question, hoping she realises he's asking for her name.

"Oh, uh, I'm Alyssa," she says, thankfully taking the hint. "I'd shake your hand, but my arms are kind of full right now."

"No worries." Logan nods towards the now-sleeping baby. "So, uh, boy or girl?"

Alyssa smiles down at the baby. "A boy. His name is Michael. He's three months."

"He's beautiful." Logan manages, a lump forming in his throat as he looks down at the tiny bundle.

_Geez, get a grip, Echolls_ , he scolds himself.  _What's with all the emotion today?_

"Thank you."

They chat for a while longer, until the receptionist calls Alyssa and her kids for their appointment and Logan is left alone in the waiting room.

He passes the next hour reading some of the magazines set out on a table in the middle of the room, until he spots Dr. James wheeling a fully-dressed Veronica down the corridor towards him. He stands immediately, making his way towards her. She looks okay, but tired and a little pale.

"Hey." He smiles. "How're you feeling?"

She nods. "Sore, but okay."

"That's good." He turns to the doctor. "She can go home now?"

"Yes, she can. I don't see any need to keep her in overnight, so we can discharge her now," he confirms. "Though she will need to take it easy for a few days. I've given her a prescription for some painkillers, and she may experience some nausea, so in that case, I suggest eating plain foods, and also drinking plenty of fluids. Very light exercise is okay—but nothing more strenuous than walking, and no heavy lifting for the first week. It's fine to shower, but—"

"Hey, I am still here, you know," Veronica complains from the wheelchair. "You can tell  _me_  these things."

"I'm telling you both," assures the doctor kindly. "Veronica, you're still recovering from the general anaesthetic, and you may not remember all this later."

"Oh." Veronica responds and Logan suppresses a smile at her discomfited expression. "Well, okay then."

"As I was saying, it's fine to take a shower, but no baths for the first week. And, no sex for at least a week either."

"Okay." Logan nods in understanding. "I think we can manage all of that."

"Here." The doctor retrieves a pamphlet from his coat pocket. "This has all the aftercare information you'll need in case everything I've just said has gone in one ear and out of the ear. And, Veronica, if you experience any prolonged pain or sickness, or something doesn't feel right, don't hesitate to come back and see me."

"Thank you," Logan says with a smile. "We will."

The doctor just gives a nod, then instructs a hospital porter to wheel Veronica out to the parking lot. Logan helps Veronica into the car, before slipping into the driver's seat. Before starting the car, he turns to Veronica who is resting back against the headrest, her eyes closed.

"You okay?" he asks gently.

"Uh huh." She nods, her eyes still closed. "Just a bit lightheaded."

"Not surprised," he says. "Come on, let's get you home. You can spend the rest of the day lounging on the sofa while I wait on you hand and foot."

That gets her attention and she lifts her head, opening her eyes to look at him with a small smile. "Really?"

"Now what kind of husband would I be if I didn't take care of my wife when she's just gotten out of the hospital?" he responds playfully, as he starts the ignition and eases the car out of the lot.

* * *

Two days later, Veronica is starting to go stir-crazy being stuck in the house by herself. Sure, she could always go for a walk, like the doctor suggested, but truth is, since she got home on Wednesday, she hasn't been feeling up to going much further than the kitchen or upstairs to bed. She's also totally bored. Logan was great on Wednesday, helping her with anything she needed and keeping her occupied, but he had to go back to work yesterday, and now she gets to spend all day on her own.

She's never been a great patient when she's sick, but couple that with the fact that she hasn't worked for the last two months and is itching to do  _something_ , and she's struggling to stay sane. In the end, she resorts to calling her father for help.

"Hey, Dad," she greets when he picks up the phone.

"Veronica!" He sounds surprised she's calling, which makes her feel just a little guilty, considering she hasn't talked to him since before Mac and Wallace came to visit. "It's good to hear from you. How are you?"

"I'm okay, Dad," she says. "How're things on your end?"

"Good. Good," he replies. "Business is steady. We're all missing you though."

"I miss you, too, Pops." She pushes down the longing she feels at the thought of being back in Neptune again.

"I heard Mac and Wallace had fun on their trip."

"Yeah, it was great to see them," she agrees. "So when are you going to come out to visit?"

"I really don't know if I can, Veronica," he says, regret in his tone. "I've been pretty swamped here lately. I just don't think I'm going to be able to take any time off."

"Oh, hey, that's okay," she says quickly, trying to hide her disappointment. "Maybe we'll manage a trip back to Neptune sometime soon."

"That'd be good, honey," he responds. "So, uh, not that I'm not glad to talk to you, but was there a reason you called?"

"Actually, there was," Veronica says. "I was wondering if there was anything you needed help with, like maybe research for a case? Something I could do from here?"

"Oh." He seems a little taken-aback by the request. "Well, um, I didn't think… I mean, since you're on the East Coast now, I—"

"Please, Dad," she interrupts. "I haven't worked a case in months; I need to get back in the game."

There's a pause on the other end, before he says, "Well, there are a few cases that I haven't had time to look into properly yet. Maybe you could do some of the background work for me."

"Really?" She smiles with relief. "That'd be great."

"But, Veronica, are you sure?" he asks. "I don't want to dump a load of work on you when you have your own life to lead."

"Oh, I'm sure," she says quickly. "I need something to occupy my time while Logan's at work. And maybe it'll help me figure out what I want to do out here."

"Well, if you insist, I guess I can email some details over to you."

"Thanks, Dad, that'd be awesome."

Another pause follows, before he says, "So, everything's going okay in Virginia?"

"Yeah," she replies. "It's okay. I mean, it's different… it's not Neptune, for sure, but it's okay."

She deliberately keeps her answer vague, not ready to talk about her potential infertility with him just yet, not after he seemed so excited at the idea of becoming a grandpa a few months ago.

"I'm glad. And Logan's settling in too?"

"Yeah, he is," she says. "It's easier for him because he's used to moving, and he has his job and friends here, you know?"

"I can understand that," replies her father.

"Yeah," she says, just as the doorbell rings. "Sorry, Dad, I gotta go. Someone's at the door."

"Okay, but listen, if you ever want some long-distance company, I'm just a Skype call away."

"Thanks, Dad."

"Talk to you soon, okay?" he adds. "Bye, Veronica."

"Bye."

Veronica hangs up the phone, then carefully eases herself up off the sofa, her stomach still sore from the surgery, and makes her way to the front door. Pulling it open, she's surprised to find Sarah standing on her doorstep.

"Sarah, hey," she says. "What are you doing here?"

Her friend gives a small shrug and a tentative smile. "I haven't seen much of you lately—other than the party last week—I just wanted to check in, see how you were."

"Oh, sure. Come on in." Veronica opens the door wider, gesturing for her to enter. "No Ava today?"

"No," says Sarah, stepping inside the house. "We've enrolled her in day care a couple mornings a week. It gives her the opportunity to meet and play with other kids, and it gives me some time to myself."

"Ah, sneaky." Veronica smiles as they head into the living room. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Oh no, I'm fine. Thank you," Sarah declines politely.

They take a seat on the sofa as Pony comes up to greet Sarah with a soft bark, her tail tagging enthusiastically.

"Hey, girl." Sarah ruffles Pony's fur in greeting, before turning to Veronica. "So, um, I feel like you've been avoiding me lately."

"What? No, of course I haven't." Veronica's eyes widen as she tries to sound convincing… because she  _has_  been avoiding her friend. "I've just been… busy."

"Veronica…" Sarah just looks at her sceptically, obviously not buying it.

Veronica sighs. "Okay, fine. I may have been avoiding you just a little bit."

"Why?" Sarah frowns. "Was it something I said, or did?"

"No." Veronica shakes her head quickly. "It wasn't you, it was… I've just been going through some stuff lately, and I just didn't want to… bother you with it."

"You wouldn't be bothering me, Veronica," Sarah says incredulously. "We're friends."

"Yeah… yeah, I know." She sighs. "It's just… it was hard for me to talk about, especially with you."

"What do you mean, especially with me?" Sarah looks a little offended. "Why?"

"Because you're pregnant," Veronica admits. "And because Logan and I have been trying to conceive for months and it's not happening."

"What?" Sarah's expression turns to one of surprise as she smiles. "You and Logan are trying? That's amazing."

" _Trying_  being the operative word," she says. "Turns out I might not be able to have kids after all."

"God, Veronica…" Sarah says, her face falling. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah." She shrugs, looking down at her hands. "After you told me you were pregnant again, when you weren't even trying, it made me wonder what was going wrong for me and Logan. So we got checked out. Turns out Logan's perfectly healthy, but me… not so much. As it turns out, I had blocked fallopian tubes."

"Oh, honey." Sarah reaches out a hand, rubbing Veronica's arm comfortingly. "I'm so sorry. Can they do anything?"

"They already did, actually," she admits. "I had a laparoscopy on Wednesday and the doctor managed to open the blockages, but the chance of actually getting pregnant now isn't exactly great... maybe 35 or 40%."

"That's something though, right?" says Sarah encouragingly. "It means there's a chance."

"Yeah, there's a chance," she agrees. "I'm just trying not to get my hopes up too high."

"Well, I'm rooting for you."

"Thank you." Veronica offers her a smile. "And I'm sorry for ignoring you. It was just hard being around you, seeing you pregnant and happy and healthy, and knowing it may not ever happen for me."

"I'm so sorry you've been feeling that way," Sarah apologises. "I can only imagine how hard this is for you."

"Yeah, it's been tough," Veronica acknowledges. "And you don't need to apologise; it's not your fault. I'm the one dealing with this."

"But you're okay, though? You're recovering from the surgery okay?"

"Well, I'm sore, and tired, and pretty bored right now," Veronica admits. "But yeah, I'm okay."

"I'm glad." Sarah smiles. "Look, I can understand if it's hard to be around me with this little one—" her hand comes to rest on her small bump "—being a constant reminder, but if you do want to hang out or just need someone to talk to, please just give me a call, okay?"

"I will. Thanks, Sare."

"You're gonna be fine, you know that, right?" her friend assures her. "It'll all work out like it's supposed to in the end."

Veronica exhales heavily. "I really hope so."


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long wait between chapters - real life got a bit crazy the last few weeks. First, I moved home after 4 months overseas, then I immediately got sick for a week :(. After that, I had a week of barely sleeping, and then last week the UK was hit with snowstorms and I ended up staying in a B&B close to work for 3 nights. As a result, I just didn't manage to get any writing done. Good news is, I wrote almost a whole chapter over this past weekend, so I can post chapter 11 :).

**Late July 2019**

Veronica sits at the kitchen table—her make-shift office for now—one eye on the case notes open in front of her and the other on the calendar on her phone as she mentally counts off the days. According to her chart, she should be ovulating about now… which means she and Logan really should have sex today. She checks the time; it's four-thirty, which means he should be home in the next hour. They have to be at Chaos and Sarah's for dinner by seven o'clock and it could be a late night, which gives them about a ninety-minute window before they have to leave.

With an impatient sigh, she closes the calendar and places the phone face-down on the table, turning her attention back to the case she's supposed to be working on. Helping her father with research for some of his cases over the last few months has renewed her desire to get back into PI work again, and while much of the work she's been doing has been long-distance research for Mars Investigations, she has taken on a couple of cases of her own here in Virginia Beach. They don't quite live up to the scandalous nature of the work in Neptune, but at least they occupy her time and bring in a bit of money. She and Nick have been tossing around some ideas for setting up a business here, but they haven't made much progress yet, what with personal life distractions and then Nick doing a bit of contract work in IT during the last few weeks.

Of course, she's been pretty occupied herself lately, too. As soon as she recovered from the laparoscopy and it was safe to start trying to conceive again, she dived right into organisation mode, calculating and planning everything to the minutest detail. The bathroom is now home to various bottles of folic acid and pre-natal vitamins, thermometers, ovulation tests, and pregnancy tests. There's a good possibility she will only have a six-month window to get pregnant and they're almost three months in already, so she's not taking any chances.

Right now though, she needs to concentrate on the case her father has handed over to her. The subject being investigated seems to have had business dealings on the East Coast in the last few years, particularly in Virginia, so Veronica's perfectly situated to look into it.

She's busy making notes on all his recent business activities when Logan walks through the door at five-fifteen.

"Hey," he greets with a smile, appearing in the kitchen doorway.

He crosses the room, resting his hand on the back of her chair as he leans down for a kiss.

"Hi." Veronica returns the smile when they part. "Good day?"

"Pretty good," he replies, moving to the fridge and grabbing the orange juice from inside the door. "I got to scare the shit out of this kid who decided it was a good idea to show-off during tactical flight training this afternoon."

"Fun times," she responds, grimacing as he lifts the juice to his mouth, and drinks straight from the carton.  _How many times have I told him not to do that?_ She nods in his direction. "That's your carton now, by the way. I'm not drinking OJ with your backwash in it."

"Sorry." He manages to look contrite as he glances down at the carton in his hand, then back up at her, before returning it to the fridge. "You still on for dinner at Chaos's tonight?"

"Yep."

"Great." He flashes another smile. "I'm gonna go take a shower."

"Wait!" she exclaims quickly as he turns to go. "You can't. Not yet."

"Why not?" he asks with a frown.

Veronica stands, moving in front of him. "Because I'm ovulating and we need to have sex first."

"Right now?" He looks sceptical. "I just got home from work."

"Yes, right now," she responds. "We have less than two hours before we have to leave for dinner. And you know hot showers can affect sperm count. We need to maximise our chances here."

"I know that, but I'm not sure if—"

"No buts, we're doing this now." Veronica grabs his hand and leads him through the living room and up the stairs.

When they reach the bedroom, Veronica pulls off her top and shimmies out of the sweatpants she's wearing, then unbuttons Logan's uniform shirt and tugs it down his arms. Reaching down, she unbuckles his pants and lowers the zipper, reaching inside, then frowns when she realises he's not even remotely aroused.

"Logan…?"

Above her head, Logan sighs. "Veronica, I can't just get it up on command."

_Great_. She resists the urge to roll her eyes.  _He's always raring to go at the most inconvenient times, but now, when I need him to be, there's nothing._

"Well, I'll just have to remedy that, won't I?" she responds determinedly.

Veronica tugs down his clothing and takes him in her hands, stroking until he starts to respond, then kneels to use her mouth to finish the job. It doesn't take long before he's standing at attention, so she rises, before walking him backwards and urging him down onto the bed. She unclasps her bra, then steps out of her panties before climbing atop him, positioning him at her entrance and wasting no time in sinking down. Bracing her hands on his chest, she starts to move above him as his hands come to her hips to guide her. Save for the sounds of flesh moving together and their ragged breathing, the room is silent.

After a couple of minutes, she shifts her position a little, leaning forward as she tries to hit the right spot, but she's just not getting there. With a sigh, she slips one hand between her legs and begins stroking herself.

"Geez, Veronica," mutters Logan from beneath her; but it's not his usual tone of barely restrained desire… he sounds almost annoyed.

Before she has time to realise what's going on, he's tightened his grip on her hips and turned them over, pulling her beneath him.

Supporting himself with a hand on either side of her head, resting against the mattress, he thrusts quickly, a frown of concentration on his face as he grinds his hips, stimulating her where she needs it most. It doesn't take long for the familiar sensations of pleasure to start building inside her, but all too soon, his thrusts become erratic and then he's spilling inside her with a groan. Breathing heavily, he shifts off her, turning onto his back, lying beside her on the bed. It takes barely a few seconds for the silence to become awkward, both of them staring at the ceiling as their heart-rates return to normal.

"Go take your shower," says Veronica eventually.

Without a word, he nods, then rolls off the bed and disappears down the hall to the bathroom. Veronica watches him leave, then returns her gaze to the ceiling. She clenches her jaw, closing her eyes as feelings of guilt mixed with a small amount of shame wash over her.  _What was I thinking? That was pretty much the worst sex we've ever had. I didn't even orgasm for Christ's sake_. Logan had just switched from passively letting it happen, to taking control and rushing it, like he couldn't wait to get it over with… and that fucking hurts. In all the various incarnations of their relationship over the years, they've never had clinical, emotionless sex before… but that's exactly what just happened. And for what? Just because she's ovulating? Just to try to get pregnant?

God, she doesn't want to conceive a baby that way. A baby should come from love and intimacy, not from… whatever that just was.

She remains in the same position on the bed for a few more minutes, just in case that helps anything—not that there's any actual evidence that lying down after sex does in fact increase the chance of conception, any more than there is about the orgasm she didn't have, but hey, it's worth a shot—before rolling off the mattress in much the same manner Logan did and pulling a shirt over her head. She picks up a brush, running it through the tangles in her hair, and as she places it back down on the dresser, Logan returns from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist and his muscular chest glistening with water droplets.

"Shower's free," he says neutrally as he opens the closet and pulls out a shirt and slacks.

"Thanks." She slips past him and out of the room, closing her eyes briefly and shaking her head in dismay at the weird awkwardness now present between them.

She takes her time in the shower, letting the hot water beat down against her neck and shoulders, releasing the tension as she rests her head against the wall. For a moment, she considers releasing some of the  _other_  tension thrumming through her, finishing off what they started in the bedroom, but the whole experience seems tainted now and she can't seem to muster the enthusiasm to continue. Instead, she washes her hair and body, then turns off the water and steps out of the shower. When she returns to the bedroom, Logan's left the room, the heady scent of his cologne still hanging in the air.

With a sigh, she dresses, puts on a little make-up, and blow-dries her hair, by which time it's six-forty and almost time to leave for Chaos and Sarah's. She heads downstairs, finding Logan already waiting for her by the front door.

"Ready?" he asks.

"Yeah." She nods, grabbing her summer jacket and opening the door. "Come on, let's go."

* * *

Logan wakes the next morning with a strange, gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach. It takes a moment to remember why, but when he glances over at Veronica, sleeping peacefully on her side, her back to him, it all comes flooding back.

_What the hell was that yesterday?_ he wonders, even as a small voice in the back of his head replies with:  _Emotionless sex… that's what it was. Don't you remember? The same kind of sex you've had with pretty much every other woman who's ever been in your life, except for Veronica._ No, actually, it was worse than that—at least with his previous partners, even if they were just a means to an end, he always tried to be attentive, to make them feel good, but last night, he hadn't even cared whether she got off or not; he just wanted it over with.

Things were strained between them all evening, though they tried their best not to let it show in front of Chaos and Sarah, and they went to bed tense and barely even speaking.

He should have said something, should have stopped things before they even started, but he can never can seem to deny Veronica anything, especially when it comes to sex. He knows how focused and determined she's been about getting pregnant, how meticulous she is about getting the timing just right, and he's never had a problem with it before. But last night was different. Something was off; he could sense it right away, but instead of facing it head-on, he brushed it off and let her continue. And he knows why: he's desperate for it to happen too, for her to get pregnant… but it can't be like it was last night. They can't conceive a child that way, all clinical and planned, just an exchange of bodily fluids with no love or emotion involved. It wouldn't feel right.

He reaches out a hand, running his fingers through Veronica's hair as it cascades down her back; it's longer now than it has been in years, almost as long as it was before Lilly died, though back then she always wore it straight, but now she styles it in tousled waves. He shifts closer, pressing his chest to her back as his hand slides around her waist, moving beneath the oversized t-shirt she's wearing. As he pulls her close, she stirs slightly, snuggling back against him. He's already hard, his erection nestled against her bottom, and he has to resist the urge to move against her, to release some of the tension thrumming through him.

Sliding his hand up, he lets it glide over her warm skin until he's cupping her breast. He runs his thumb across her nipple, smiling as it hardens in response, then moves to the other one, doing the same before tracing a line back down the middle of her torso until he reaches her panties. By this point, Veronica's breathing has changed and he knows she's awake—or at least on the verge of being so. A soft sound of contentment mixed with approval escapes her lips and he takes it as an invitation to continue.

He dips his fingers beneath the elastic of her underwear, sliding two fingers between her lips. She's already wet, and as he begins stroking gently, her breath hitches and she starts to move against him.

"Logan…" Her voice is barely more than a sigh but he hears it just the same.

"I'm sorry about last night," he whispers near her ear, even as he slides a finger inside her. She moans in response. "I don't think either of us wanted it to be like that."

"No… I, uh…" She sucks in a sharp gasp as he flicks her clit with his thumb. "I'm sorry. Shouldn't have pushed it…. God, that feels good."

"Wanna make up for it now?" he murmurs, dropping a kiss to the side of her neck.

"God, yes!" The enthusiastic exclamation is a response to both his question and to the fact that he's just slid another finger inside her, and he grins against the back of her neck as he strokes in and out, pressing his thumb against her clit.

"That's it," he whispers encouragingly. "Come for me."

"Oh God… oh God… oh God…" she mutters over and over, pressing back against him as her inner muscles tighten around his fingers and she tips over the edge.

"Love you," Logan kisses the side of her neck as she comes down from the high.

"Love you, too," she murmurs, tone dreamy, though she lets out a groan of protest when he slides his fingers out of her.

"Just a sec," he says reassuringly.

He tugs off his boxers, then gestures for her to shift onto her back so he can slide her panties down over her hips. She obliges, then pulls her shirt over her head before settling back against the pillows. Logan returns to his previous position, his body pressed against her side and his head propped on his hand, as his other hand rests over her stomach.

When she looks up at him almost quizzically, like she's confused about why he's not doing anything, he just smiles, then leans over and captures her mouth in a loving kiss.

"Mmm," she sighs into his mouth, her hand coming up to cup his cheek as he shifts again, moving over her.

She parts her legs and he settles between her thighs. His length presses against her clit and she gasps when he tilts his hips forward, caressing the sensitive spot. He smiles against her mouth and does it again. This time, she makes a soft mewling sound and he can't help but give a small, throaty chuckle. He tries for a third time, but Veronica breaks the kiss and looks at him sternly… or at least, it would be stern if she wasn't pouting so adorably.

"Stop teasing."

"Sorry." He grins. "I'll be good."

"I don't want to you be good," she retorts playfully. "I want you to be  _sensational_. I want you to make me see stars."

"You do, huh?" he says. "We'll have to see about that."

"You'd better," she responds, tone threatening.

"Noted."

He kisses her again as he slides inside her waiting body. She feels amazing, all hot and tight and so ready for him.  _This_  is what sex—no, making love—with her is supposed to be like: not rushed or forced or timed to the minute, but soft and sensual and loving and intimate. He takes his time this time, making sure she's enjoying it, bringing her to orgasm twice more before he finds release himself.

Afterwards, as they curl up together and Veronica drifts back to sleep again, Logan can't seem to quiet his mind. As he watches her sleep, features soft and relaxed, he can't help but wonder if maybe all they've just done is put a Band Aid on the problem instead of actually fixing it.

* * *

**Early August 2019**

The Band Aid doesn't last more than ten days.

It lulls Logan into a false sense of security, because at first everything's fine, better than fine, even; they laugh and joke and make love like they always have, and it's as if last week didn't happen. In fact, they haven't even spoken of it since. Of course, he should have realised that was a red flag, should have known it wouldn't last forever… that it  _couldn't_  last. It's on Saturday morning, more than a week later, that everything comes crashing down.

He wakes slowly, his hand sliding across the mattress, and finding Veronica's side of the bed empty. He frowns; it's not like her to be up early on the weekend—that's normally  _his_  forte.

"Veronica?" he mumbles in question, prying his eyes open and propping himself up on one elbow.

A quick glance around the room shows he's alone, and the sound of Pony pawing at the bedroom door means Veronica is neither downstairs nor out walking her. Logan sits up, running his hands down over his face, then pulls back the sheets and slides out of the bed. He grabs a shirt from the floor and tugs it over his head. Leaving the room, he greets Pony, ruffling the fur on her head, before heading down the hall toward the bathroom. The door is closed, which means Veronica's in there.

He gives it a gentle knock with his knuckles. "Veronica? Can I come in?"

There's a short pause before she responds. "Yeah."

He opens the door to find her perched on the toilet seat, her elbows resting on her knees, toes pointed inwards. She holds a small, white stick in her hands. It's not an unfamiliar sight; he's lost track of how many pregnancy tests she's taken in the last three months, but her eyes are red-rimmed and he can see tears glistening on her cheeks.

"What's wrong?" He steps forward into the room, then drops to his knees in front of her, his hands coming to rest on the sides of her legs.

"I was so sure," she mumbles. "I felt… I mean, I thought something felt different this time, but…"

She holds out the stick to him, the single red line displayed prominently, like it's taunting them.

Not Pregnant.

His heart sinks and his eyes slide closed, disappointment flooding through him. He pushes it down though, and instead slides his hands further up her legs as he leans in closer, touching his forehead to hers.

"Veronica, I'm so sorry."

She nods, forehead moving against his. "Yeah."

"It's okay," he says reassuringly. "We'll just keep trying."

"I don't think I can anymore, Logan." Her voice is soft and weary.

"Don't say that," he says, the words coming out a little more firmly than he intends. "It's gonna happen, I know it will."

"You don't know that." She shakes her head, closing her eyes. "I can't keep going through this emotional rollercoaster every month, Logan. It's too hard."

"But think of the end result," he counters encouragingly. "When all of the hard work will have been worth it."

"It might not though," she says. "What if it's all been for nothing?"

"It won't be. I'm sure of it," he insists. "You can't give up now."

Veronica straightens, pulling away from him, her eyebrows drawn together in a suspicious frown as she studies him. "Why are you pushing this?"

"I'm not pushing it," he tries to protest. "I'm just—"

"No, you're pushing it," she interrupts, sliding off the toilet seat and moving across the room. "This is my body, and I get to decide what happens to it."

"I never said you didn't." Logan stands, turning to face her.

"Maybe not in so many words, but it feels like you're trying to pressure me into something I'm not comfortable with."

Logan stiffens at that, unable to ignore the connotations associated with her words, memories of his abusive father suddenly rearing their ugly heads. "I would never do that to you, you know that."

"Yeah, okay. I do know that," she admits. "But something's going on with you, and I want to know what it is."

"Nothing's going on, Veronica," he denies quickly. "I just think it's too early to throw in the towel. You know it can take a while."

Veronica looks down at the test in her hand, then places it on the counter behind her. When she looks up at him, there are fresh tears in her eyes.

"But we don't have a while." Her tone is pained. "There's like an 80% chance of the blockages returning within the next three months."

"But that's all the more reason not to give up now," he reasons.

"I just… I'm so tired, Logan," she says, crossing her arms over her chest protectively. "This is taking over my life. I'm stressed, and exhausted and even sex is starting to become a chore. I mean, look at what happened last week."

"Yeah," Logan nods sadly. "I know. It was—"

"Bad sex. Yeah," she finishes, her gaze not quite meeting his. "I mean, how did we even get to that?"

"I don't know."

"I was so fixated on timing and logistics that I ruined the whole thing." She looks at him fully now. "This is what I mean; I can't keep doing this."

"Look," Logan starts, moving toward her. He unfolds her arms from her chest and takes her hands in his. "I can only imagine how you must be feeling right now, but we  _will_  get through this."

"Maybe." She gives a small nod, glancing down at their joined hands as she says, "But it's not just the baby stuff."

He frowns in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not happy here, Logan," she confesses softly.

"Wait, what? You're not…?" He trails off, her words causing Logan to straighten in surprise. He sucks in a breath before speaking again, "Okay, look, I know moving here wasn't your first choice, but I thought... I mean, you've seemed happy enough."

"I've been trying, for you." She looks back up at him again. "And I thought I was doing okay, But I'm not. I miss my old life. I miss my dad, I miss Mac and Wallace. I miss Neptune. You have this, like, ready-made life here: your job, friends, colleagues; but I have nothing."

"You don't have nothing," Logan responds quickly.  _What is happening right now_? "You have me and Pony; you have Sarah, you have Chaos, and Nick and Amy. You're starting a business here. That's not nothing."

"It kinda feels like it," she says. "I mean, Sarah, Chaos, Amy… even Nick…they were all  _your_  friends first, not mine. Most of the time it feels like I'm just going through the motions, because I have to; because I don't have a choice."

That hits a nerve with Logan. It's not like he wanted to move here either, but he had to suck it up and go with it, because sometimes in life you have to make sacrifices for the sake of your career. He releases her hands and takes a step back, running a hand across his head.

"You knew what you were signing up for when you agreed to move," he counters. "You didn't have to come, you know—"

"Of course I did, I'm your  _wife_." she cuts in over the top of him.

"—I mean, it was your choice—" he continues as if she hasn't spoken, on a roll now.

"What, and spend even more time doing long-distance?" she retorts. "I don't think so."

"—And if you're so unhappy here, maybe you should just go back to California?"

She stops, chest rising up and down with barely restrained breaths as her eyes narrow, jaw sets.

"You know what? Maybe I will," she responds tightly as she brushes past him. "Excuse me."

She breezes past him and out of the door, leaving Logan bewildered.

"What the hell?" he mutters, wondering how they got from a negative pregnancy test to Veronica talking about returning to California. "Veronica, wait."

Exiting the bathroom, he follows her back into the bedroom. He comes to a sharp halt in the doorway, the blood draining from his face when she pulls a small suitcase out of the closet and places it on the bed.

"What are you doing?"

She shoots him an incredulous look as she returns to the closet and grabs several hangers of clothing from it. "What does it look like? I'm going back to California."

"Shit, Veronica, I wasn't serious," he protests as she starts packing the clothes into the suitcase.

"No?" She raises an eyebrow. "Sounded like it to me."

"Don't be stupid." He crosses the room, stepping in front of her when she turns toward the dresser. "Let's just talk about this, okay?"

"I'm not being stupid," she said, her tone tinged with frustration. "I need some space, Logan. I need to get away from here for a while. I need a change of scenery."

"Okay, so I'll book some vacation time," he suggests. "Your birthday's coming up; we can go on a trip somewhere, take some time to relax and unwind, away from all this."

She shakes her head. "I need some time for myself, Logan. I'm gonna go stay with my dad for a while. He keeps asking when I'm coming for a visit anyway."

Logan takes in the determined expression on her face. She's not going to back down on this.

Taking his chances, he goes in for the kill, hoping she doesn't hate him for it."You know, it feels an awful lot like you're running away again."

She stiffens, her eyes going wide at the accusation.

"No, Logan… I'm  _not_ ," she says firmly. "I just—I need some time, okay? Just let me have some time. Please?"

Logan studies her for a long moment, every fibre of his being screaming out not to let her leave, but as he takes in the pain and desperation in her eyes, mixed in with fierce determination, he realises he doesn't have a choice. She's made up her mind; she's going no matter what he says.

"Okay. Fine," he relents. "I won't stop you going. But just know that I'm not gonna let you run away from this, okay? You're gonna take some time—and please don't let it be too long—and then you're gonna come back and we're gonna work through this."

"Yeah." She nods. "Okay."

_Thank God._  He gives an internal sigh of relief. He thought she was going to put up more of a fight.

"Look, I need to take a shower," he says then. "Then we'll get you sorted with a flight and I'll drive you to the airport." He holds up a finger in warning. "And don't even think about sneaking off while I'm in there, okay?"

"Fine." She huffs a disgruntled sigh. "I won't go anywhere."

"Good."

Logan turns, leaving the room. He holds himself together until he's safely inside the bathroom, the door locked behind him.

_How the hell did we even get to this point?_  he wonders, letting his head fall back against the door.  _I thought she was happy here, that we'd be okay because we're together. How the hell did I miss how miserable she is here, how much the last few months have been affecting her?_

Pushing himself away from the door, he moves to the shower, turning it on, before shucking his clothes and stepping inside.


	12. Chapter 12

**Early August 2019**

Veronica has been staying with her father in Neptune for a week now, alternating between moping around the house—usually when he isn't home—and pretending nothing's wrong, in the hope he won't start asking questions. It worked for the first few days, but she's seen the looks he's been shooting her since Friday, and when he started asking why she's barely even spoken to Logan since she got here, she realised her time was almost up.

When Logan dropped her off at the airport last weekend, she asked him to respect her wishes for some time alone, at least for a few days, and to his credit, other than a couple of calls to check she's doing okay, he's been good about giving her space. It's not that she doesn't want to talk to him—part of her is dying to pick up the phone and hear his voice—it's just that she needs to be able to focus on herself for a while, to figure out what she wants, and she can't do that if she's constantly in touch with him.

It's Sunday morning now, and she's up early, having started off the day with a walk along the beach before returning to make pancakes, eggs, and bacon for breakfast.

"Morning, honey."

She looks up when her dad enters the kitchen, smiling when he walks over and kisses her temple before reaching for the coffee pot.

"Hey, Dad."

"Mmm, looks great," he says appreciatively as he pours a mug of coffee, then peers over her shoulder. "Smells even better."

"That's the idea." She shoots him a smile. "It's almost ready."

Keith rubs his hands together in anticipation, a grin lighting up his face. "Can't wait."

Veronica shakes her head at him in amusement and serves up the food. Carrying the plates to the dining table, she gestures for him to sit.

"Here you go."

"Thanks, sweetheart." He reaches for the maple syrup and douses the pancakes with it.

"Whoa, go easy, Pops," she quips, trying to keep the atmosphere light, "you've got enough calories there as it is."

"And whose fault is that, sweet daughter of mine?" he shoots back with a grin.

She just returns the grin and holds out her hand for the syrup. He hands it to her and she covers her plate in it too, before tucking in enthusiastically. They eat in silence for a few minutes before her father speaks up.

"Not that I'm not really glad for your company this week, Veronica," he starts, sounding a little cautious, "but I'm at a bit of a loss as to why you're here."

"What do you mean? You've been hinting for months that I should come visit." She frowns, though her heart is pounding in her chest at the question.  _This is it._  "Well, here I am."

"Yeah, but I assumed you and Logan would visit together," he says, looking at her pointedly. "But he's still in Virginia Beach, and you've barely mentioned him all week."

"Dad—"

"I can tell when something's wrong, Veronica," he says gently. "You're not as good at hiding it as you think you are. So, come on, spill. Did Logan do something?"

Veronica shakes her head, studying the pancake remnants left on her plate as she tries to decide how to answer.

"No," she says eventually. "He didn't do anything. I just… I needed some time away from Virginia. On my own."

Keith leans forward, looking worried as he rests his hand on her forearm. "Honey, what's wrong? You've seemed out of sorts all week."

Veronica sighs, before finally giving a nod. "Can we move this to the couch?"

"Sure."

They clear away the plates before moving into the living room and settling on the sofa.

"A lot's been going on lately," she says eventually, looking down at her hands. "I know I said I was settling in, but truth is, I've been struggling. I don't really fit in there, and honestly, I just want my old life back."

"Oh, Veronica, why didn't you tell me?" Keith's expression is filled with concern.

"I don't know… I didn't want everyone to think I was a failure for not being able to cope."

"We would never think that," he responds firmly. "What about Logan, though? Everything's okay between you?"

"Yeah." She gives a slow nod. "Yeah, it's okay."

"Are you still trying to start a family?" he asks, the words causing Veronica's heart to sink. "How's that going?"

"Yeah, we are… it's just… it's not going so well," she mutters, unable to stop her voice breaking on the words.

"Oh, sweetheart…" Keith reaches out to take her hand in his. "What's going on? Talk to me."

Veronica lets her gaze roam across the room for a moment, before taking a deep breath and starting, "Well, um… back in April, Logan and I went to see a doctor--a fertility doctor--because we'd been trying, but nothing was happening."

"Okay, and how did that go?" Keith asks with a concerned expression.

"Logan's tests all came back fine, but mine…" She pauses to compose herself, pushing down the emotion rising in her throat. "Mine didn't. It turned out I had blocked fallopian tubes, which meant that there was no way for the egg and sperm to... you know… meet."

"Right. Yeah, I get it." He nods, looking a little uncomfortable. "But, uh… forgive me for being confused, but isn't something like that caused by a condition or something—your aunt had it…. uh, endometriosis? You don't have that, right?"

"No, I don't," she confirms. "But blocked tubes can also be caused by Pelvic Inflammatory Disease."

Keith frowns. "But you don't have that either?"

Veronica sucks in a deep breath, attempting to find the courage for what she needs to tell him. "Dad… you remember back in high school, at Aaron's trial, when the defence lawyer told everyone I had been treated for an STD…?"

Keith nods, still looking like he's not sure what she's trying to tell him. "Yeah…?"

"I  _was_  treated for one, but I didn't even know I had it, let alone that it had gone untreated for so long and it had developed into Pelvic Inflammatory Disease."

Keith's eyes narrow and Veronica can see the wheels turning in his mind now. "And exactly how long was that?"

"More than two years," she admits, trying not to wince as she anticipates his reaction.

"Wait, two years?" His face scrunches up in confusion. "But you and Logan weren't together then…"

"Me and Logan…?" Veronica's mouth drops open in surprise. "What does Logan have to do with…?" She trails off, realisation dawning. "Wait, you thought  _he_  gave it to me?"

"Well…"

"Dad!" she exclaims in dismay.

"It wasn't Logan?" Keith blinks, looking surprised.

"Of course not! We didn't even sleep together until… uh, until after high school." She narrows her eyes suspiciously. "Wait… is that why you didn't like him back then? Because you thought he gave me an STD?"

"No," Keith denies quickly, though he doesn't look her in the eye, which tells her everything she needs to know. She raises her eyebrows pointedly, until he adds, "I mean, I didn't want to think he did…"

Veronica presses her lips together for a moment, before speaking more calmly. "Dad, I got it two-and-a-half years earlier. Logan and I weren't even talking to each other back then."

Keith looks a little shell-shocked as that sinks in. "Veronica, you were having sex at sixteen?"

"No, um…" Veronica lets out a slow exhale, preparing herself for what she has to tell him. "You remember that end-of-year party I went to a couple of months after Lilly died, at Shelly Pomroy's?"

"Vaguely…"

"Well… that night, someone handed me a drink spiked with GHB," she says, keeping her tone as emotionless and matter-of-fact as she can. "I woke up the next morning alone in the pool house, my underwear on the floor. I didn't remember anything, but it was pretty obvious what had happened."

"Oh, sweetheart…" Keith reaches out, placing a hand on her arm and Veronica closes her eyes at his tone—a mixture of concern, shock and dismay, unable to look at him. "I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell me?"

She opens her eyes, blinking back tears as she looks up at him. "I just… I couldn't, Dad, not with everything going on… you losing your job, and Mom leaving. It would only have made things worse. Besides, I felt so stupid for letting myself get into that situation at all."

"It wasn't your fault, Veronica," he says with barely-concealed emotion. "And you should have come to me, no matter what was happening in my life."

"Yeah." She nods, swallowing against the lump forming in her throat. "I know that now."

"Did you at least report it?"

"I tried." Veronica clenches her jaw, recalling her attempt to do just that. "I went straight to the Sheriff's Department. Lamb just laughed in my face."

"That little bastard." Keith's expression clouds over, his eyebrows drawing together with anger.

"Tell me about it," Veronica agrees wholeheartedly. "There I was, sixteen and alone; pretty much everyone hated me, and not even the police would help me. I didn't know what to do… so I just went home, took a shower and got on with my life."

"God, Veronica…" her father murmurs. "You shouldn't have had to deal with that alone. You should have told me."

"And what good would it have done?" she returns. "There was no evidence anymore, I had no idea who it could have been, and it's not like anyone would have listened anyway. All I could do was put it behind me."

Keith changes tack. "And you never found out who was responsible?"

"Not for a long time," she admits. "I thought I'd pieced most of it together by the end of junior year, but it wasn't until after graduation that I found out what really happened."

"Graduation?" he queries.

"It started near the end of senior year, when I found out about the STD," she admits. "I had no idea how I could have got it, because as far as I knew, Duncan didn't have it and there hadn't been anyone else. But it was when you told me Woody Goodman had been treated for chlamydia, that I realised something wasn't quite right… because how could we both have had it?"

"Shit, Veronica…." She doesn't have to continue, because her dad has realised what she's trying to say. "It was one of the boys he… it was one of his victims?"

She nods. "Yeah. Cassidy Casablancas."

"Oh, holy…" He exhales with a whoosh of air as he looks at her sadly. "Veronica…"

"Yeah, I know," she murmurs softly. "He admitted it on the roof of the Grand the night he died."

"Come here." Her dad shifts closer, holding his arms out to her in invitation. She gladly goes, leaning into him as he hugs her, one hand stroking her hair like he used to do when she was a child. "I'm so sorry that happened to you, and that you felt you had to go through it alone."

"Me too," she says. "I'm sorry for lying to you, Dad."

"Hey, that doesn't matter now," he says comfortingly. "It's in the past."

Veronica lets herself relax into his warm embrace for a few more moments, before pulling back, and wiping her now damp eyes with her sleeve.

"So, what does all that mean now?" asks Keith. "For having a baby?"

"Well, the doctors performed a laparoscopy in May and they were able to successfully unblock my tubes," she tells him.

"That's great."

"Yeah… except that it's unlikely to be permanent. There's a good chance they'll close up again within a few months, due to scar tissue caused by the procedure. Logan and I have been trying ever since, but it's been a stressful and tiring few months, with nothing to show for it. That's kind of why I'm here; I needed a break."

"That's understandable." Her father nods, expression filled with sympathy. "You stay here as long as you need to, okay?"

"I will. Thank you."

* * *

"Hey, man, you okay?" asks Chaos as he joins Logan on the couch Sunday afternoon.

Some of Sarah's friends from college are visiting for the weekend, so Chaos has been left with the babysitting duties, and he called this morning to enlist Logan's help.

"What?" Logan tears his eyes from Ava, who is playing with an assortment of toys in the middle of the room, chattering away to them, to look at his friend. "Uh, yeah. I'm good."

"Yeah?" Chaos shoots him a sceptical glance. "'Cause you've barely said a thing since you got here. Still no word from Veronica?"

"No." Logan shakes his head, trying not to focus on the fact that his phone has been decidedly silent the last few days. "I'm trying to give her the space she needs, but it's so hard not to pick up the phone and call her."

"I'll bet." Chaos gives a sympathetic nod. "It'll all work out, man."

"I hope so," he says. "I just… I don't know what to do; how to fix things."

Chaos studies him thoughtfully for a moment. "You know, I don't think there's anything  _to_  fix. Maybe all you can do is just be there for Veronica when she needs you."

"Yeah, maybe," he mutters, looking down at his hands.

A wooden book appears in his line of sight, accompanied by timid voice. "Lo-Lo… book?"

Logan lifts his gaze to see Ava standing before him, arms outstretched as she places the book on his lap, a pleading expression on her adorable face.

He can't help the smile spreading across his face as he takes the book from her. "You want me to read you a story?"

"Uh huh."

"What do you say, sweetheart?" prompts Chaos.

Ava turns wide, innocent eyes on her father for a moment, before looking back to Logan. "Please?"

"Sure. Okay," Logan agrees easily, moving the book to one side and leaning forward to pick her up. "Come on up, then."

Ava settles into his lap as he picks up the book again and opens it.

"Dog!" exclaims Ava, pointing to the picture of the small black puppy on the first page.

"Yeah, it's a dog," Logan replies with a smile. "Do you know what its name is?"

"Pony?"

Logan chuckles. "No, that's my dog's name. This one is called Ben, remember?"

"Uh huh," Ava replies with a solemn nod.

"Okay, so," Logan starts the story. " _This is Ben. He is a black puppy…"_

"Dude." A chuckle sounds from beside him and he looks over to Chaos who is grinning.

"What?" Logan frowns in bemusement.

Chaos just shakes his head with a grin. "Just remembering how a couple years back, you thought you wouldn't make a good father."

He's tempted to shoot back a snarky retort, but honestly, his friend has a point, so instead he just shrugs. "Yeah, well, I've had some time to re-evaluate my stance on the matter."

"You'll be a great dad, Mouth."

Logan nods. "Yeah, I guess… if it ever happens."

"I'm sure it will," says Chaos reassuringly.

Logan shoots his friend another smile, before there's a tug on his arm and he glances down to see Ava looking up at him with a frown. "Lo-Lo!"

"Sorry, Aves," he apologises quickly, turning his attention back to the two-year-old in his lap. "Where were we?"

Chaos moves to get up. "Dunno about you, but I'm thirsty. You want anything?"

"Sure. Whatever you got."

"How about you, munchkin?" he asks Ava, running a hand over his daughter's hair. "You want some juice?"

Ava nods enthusiastically. "Juice-please."

"Aren't you polite?" observes Logan with a smile.

"Well, not so much," says Chaos as he stands up. "She's kind of picked it up as a one-word phrase… don't think she even realises what she's saying."

Logan gives a chuckle. "Is that right, Aves?"

"Lo-Lo…" is her only response as she smacks the book with her palms. "Story."

"Okay, okay, I'm reading the story."

"I'll leave you guys to it," says Chaos, before disappearing into the kitchen.

As Logan returns to reading Ava her story, he marvels at how quickly she's growing and developing; it's like every time he sees her, she's learned new words and skills. She's not a baby anymore; she's becoming this independent little person and it's pretty amazing to witness. Maybe one day, he'll be able to witness his own son or daughter growing up too.

* * *

**Mid-August 2019**

Six days later, Logan stands outside Keith Mars' front door early on Saturday morning, gift bag in hand as he debates for about the twentieth time whether he should have come or not. Although Veronica's still here in Neptune and he's still respecting her request for space, he can't just let her spend her birthday alone on the other side of the country. He also didn't want to just turn up completely announced, so he called Keith to get the okay from him, before flying out after work yesterday and staying with Mac at the beach house  last night.

He reaches up to press the doorbell, exhaling nervously as he waits for someone to answer. At first, there's no sign of movement, but then through the glass, he sees Keith appearing from the kitchen, giving Logan a nod as he approaches the door.

"Logan," Keith greets with a warm smile as he pulls open the door and gestures for him to come in. "Good to see you."

"You too, Keith," he replies, stepping inside the bungalow with a smile.

"Good flight?"

"It was, thanks." Logan nods. "Got in late last night, though."

"I bet. And how're things at Oceana?"

"Not bad at all," he says. "It's a change to be on the instructional side of things now though. I kind of miss the operational missions."

"I can imagine." Keith gives an understanding nod.

"How's Veronica doing?" Logan glances toward the living room, hoping for a glimpse of her. "She here?"

"Yeah, she's, uh, still sleeping, actually," says Keith, glancing towards the back of the house. "She seems to be doing okay."

"That's good."

"And you?" Keith asks. "I can't imagine all this has been easy on you either."

"No, it hasn't, but you know, it's harder on her." He gives a shrug. "I'm just trying to support her however I can."

"Listen, Logan," says Keith then, his tone serious. "She told me what's been going on with you both lately, and the details of the circumstances that led to it."

"She did?" Logan's surprised; Veronica's always refused to tell Keith what really happened to her back in high school. "Everything?"

"I assume by that you mean what happened with Cassidy Casablancas?" When Logan nods, Keith continues, "Yeah, she did. And Logan, I owe you an apology. During the trial, when I found out she'd had an STD, I admit, I assumed you were the one who gave it to her."

_Fuck. He did? We weren't even together then._

"Keith you have to know that I have always been safe. I would never knowingly put her in that position," he says earnestly. "And back then, we hadn't even—"

Keith holds up a hand to stop him. "I know that now, but I must confess, I may have let my assumption affect my opinion of you back then."

"I can understand that," he replies. And he can; as much as it stings to hear it, he can't really blame Keith for it.

"I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry for that."

"Thank you." Logan nods in appreciation.

"Anyway, that's enough serious talk for now." Keith gestures toward the hallway. "Why don't you go wish my daughter a Happy Birthday?"

"Yeah?" He's a little surprised that Keith is fine with him waking Veronica up... though he's not sure why he should be, since they're married adults now. Old habit, he guesses. "Okay, I will. Thanks."

Logan starts making his way through the living room, only to be stopped by Keith's warning tone behind him.

"That doesn't mean I want to hear any birthday celebrations coming from my guest room, you understand?"

"Got it, sir." Logan turns, giving Keith a cheeky salute, before heading down the hall to the guest room.

He gently eases the door open and peers inside, finding Veronica fast asleep on the pull-out couch, the sheets tangled around her. The sight of her, wearing one of his Navy shirts, her features relaxed in sleep and mouth slightly open, only serves to remind him that they're in this for the long haul.  _In sickness and in health. Until death do us part._ They're married; she's his wife. This isn't some teenage fight, where they'll break up and then inevitably get back together at some point in the future. This is real, married life. They're in this together. Forever.

With a smile, he toes off his shoes, then slips into the room, quietly closing the door behind him. Careful not to make a noise, he moves across the room and takes a seat on the edge of the bed. She doesn't stir, so he reaches out and lets the back of his fingers drift along her cheek. Unable to resist, he leans down, pressing a light kiss to the same spot, then softly pressing his lips to hers. As he pulls back, she gives a soft mumble, shifting under the sheets as her eyes flutter open.

"Logan?" she murmurs, sounding both sleepy and confused.

"Morning, sleepyhead," he replies with a smile. "Happy Birthday."

She rubs sleep from her eyes, then blinks, doing a double-take. "Wait… Logan? What are you doing here?"

"You really thought I was going to miss your birthday?" He smiles. "Since you weren't home yet, I figured I'd come to you."

"Sorry," she mumbles, pulling herself up into a sitting position and running her fingers through her tangled hair. "I really didn't plan on staying here this long."

"How are you feeling?" Logan asks gently.

"I'm okay." She gives a one-shouldered shrug. "It's been nice to be back in Neptune. Relaxing."

"Yeah," he agrees.

"Look, Logan, I'm sorry…" she starts seriously.

"No, don't." Logan silences her with a finger to her lips. "We can talk later. It's your birthday; let's just spend a few hours celebrating, huh?"

She looks like she wants to say more, but he levels her with a look and she relents. "Okay."

"Great." He smiles. "Because we have plans."

"We do?"

"Uh huh." He nods. "How do you feel about cashing in that flying lesson?"

Her eyes widen as a small smile plays on her lips. "Really?"

"Yep," he replies. "One of my old flight instructors runs a flying school in San Diego. He said we can go up today."

"All right. Let's do it."

"Awesome." He grins. "Why don't you take a shower and I'll go see about breakfast."

"Okay."

He moves out of the way so she can stand up, and she's halfway across the room when she notices the gift bag on the bed.

"Ooh, is that for me?"

Logan glances down at the bag, then back up at her with a grin. "It is."

"Well, do I get to open it?" she asks impatiently.

He shakes his head. "Not yet. Shower first."

"Seriously?" She pouts at him adorably and he rolls his eyes with a smirk.

"Seriously."

"Okay. Fine. I'll shower first." She gives a huff, eyeing the gift bag one more time before turning and leaving the room.

* * *

Three hours later, Veronica finds herself sitting in the cockpit of a small, two-seater plane, unable to help smiling as she watches Logan press various buttons and flip random switches. This is all so surreal; first, Logan shows up at the door, having flown clear across the country to see her, then he gives her the one thing she's been after for months: a brand new camera lens, and now, he's taking her flying.

As she glances around the tiny cockpit, a mixture of excitement and nervousness courses through her, accompanied by a curl of nausea in her belly.  _How does Logan do this every day?_  She's internally freaking out about going up in one tiny plane and he flies fucking fighter jets for a living.

Logan starts the engine and waits for the propellers to fire up, then turns to her, speaking through his headset. "You good?"

"Think so," she replies, her own headset drowning out the background noise, so all she can hear is his voice in her ear.

"Okay. I just have to go through the rest of the pre-flight checks and then we'll be ready to go."

Veronica watches in fascination as he picks up a laminated checklist and runs through it, muttering to himself as he checks the displays and flips a couple more switches.

Eventually, he turns to her again. "Ready?"

"Yep."

"Okay, so I'll need to concentrate for the next few minutes, but I'll let you know when we can talk again, okay?"

"Sure."

He carefully manoeuvres the plane off the apron and along the taxiway. When they get to the end of the runway, he adjusts a few more knobs and buttons, then talks to air traffic control to check they're cleared for take-off. When he gets the okay, he pushes on the throttle and the plane begins to move. The butterflies increase in Veronica's stomach as they pick up speed and eventually leave the ground.

She watches with fascination as Logan does a few post-take-off checks and then ascends to about 5,000 feet—according to the altimeter in front of her—before he finally glances towards her.

"Okay, we're clear," he says.

"This is so surreal," murmurs Veronica through the headset. "I mean, it's nothing like flying in a 747."

"I know." He grins. "Awesome, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it's pretty cool."

"Okay, so we're at a good cruising altitude, so I can show you some of the controls. First off, we both have pedals and control wheels, so either of us can fly the plane. There are a couple of rules though: when I hand over the controls to you, I'll say, 'you have control', and in response, you need to reply with 'I have control'. Then when we hand back over, it's vice versa. That way, there's no confusion over who's flying the plane."

"Right. I can do that."

Logan explains all the displays on the dashboard, before showing her how to check the speed, altitude and direction, and how to use the throttle, brake and control wheel. After a couple of trial runs to get her used to it, he hands control over to her.

"Wow, I'm actually flying a plane," she murmurs in disbelief, before glancing worriedly at him. "God, Logan, what if I crash it?"

"You won't crash it," he assures her with a smile. "I'll make sure nothing goes wrong."

"Okay…" she tries to say it with confidence, though internally she's thinks,  _if you say so_.

He talks her through how to ascend and descend, and also how to turn to the left and right. Then he gives her a few minutes to get used to flying, only speaking to correct her when she starts veering to one side or the other. Once she's had some time to get her bearings, Logan takes back control of the aircraft, and then talks her through what happens if the engine cuts out during flight—which he demonstrates by actually cutting it for a few moments, and it surprises her when they don't actually fall out of the sky—and then he turns to her with a mischievous grin.

"Wanna have some fun?"

"What kind of fun, exactly?" She narrows her eyes at his playful expression. "I don't think this is the time to join the Mile-High Club, Echolls."

"Mind out of the gutter, Mars." He rolls his eyes, though a grin tugs at his lips. "I was thinking maybe some aerobatics. How do you feel about a loop-the-loop, or a couple of barrel rolls?"

Veronica swallows, her stomach turning at the thought. "Seriously?"

"If you're up for it," she says decisively.

_Come on, Veronica… how bad can it be? You've done loop-the-loops and corkscrews on rollercoasters before._

"Yeah, okay. Let's do it."

"Okay, we'll do the loop first, you'll need to keep your head back as we make the turn. We'll be experiencing about 4 g, so you'll feel like it's pressing you into the seat. You might experience some light-headedness as well, but that's normal."

Logan pushes on the throttle, then pull the control wheel back, angling the aircraft upwards. Before Veronica has time to comprehend what's going on, they're upside down, the g-force pushing her down into the seat, just like Logan warned her. She can only hold on tight while Logan pulls the plane into the full loop, and then, barely moments later, they're upright and level again.

"Wow…"

"Fun, huh?"

"Yeah," she murmurs faintly. "Bit dizzy though."

"Don't worry, it'll pass soon," says Logan. "You wanna do a couple of barrel rolls too?"

"Maybe give me a minute first?"

"Sure."

They spend about another thirty minutes in the air, Logan first taking her through a barrel roll and then showing her how to do it herself, and by the time they make it back down on the ground again, Veronica's feeling both elated and a little sick.

"Hey, you feeling okay?" Logan asks in concern when she stumbles as they walk back inside the flying school building. "You look a little pale."

"A bit dizzy, and I feel sick to my stomach," she admits, rubbing her belly. "I'll be fine in a minute."

"Okay, if you're sure."

Another wave of nausea passes over her and her hand comes to her mouth as she mutters, "Actually, where's the bathroom?"

"Just down the hall," he says quickly, gesturing to his left.

Making a run for it, she reaches the restroom just in time to empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl.

"Fucking plane," she grumbles when she's done, and feeling a little better.

After freshening up as much as she can, she heads back out to find Logan.

"Are you okay?" he asks in concern when she joins him and they head out to the car.

"Yeah, I think so." She nods. "Probably shouldn't have done those extra rolls."

"Sorry," he apologises, opening the car and gesturing for her to climb in. "I forget how it can affect you if you're not used to it."

"Not your fault," she says, getting herself settled in the passenger seat and turning to Logan. "I've been feeling a bit off the last couple days anyway."

"You have?"

"Yeah, but I'm sure it's nothing."

Beside her, Logan frowns. "You've been feeling dizzy and nauseous?"

"Yeah, a little. Nothing serious though. Actually, it could just be PMS."

"Uh… Veronica…?" he says, an odd look on his face. "I think you're missing the obvious here."

She frowns. "What do you mean?"

"Wasn't your period due more than a week ago?"

"Holy shit." Veronica freezes, eyes widening as she realises what he's getting at. "You think I'm pregnant?"

"Well, I mean, it fits..." He glances toward her. "Right?"

"Yeah, I guess it does," she murmurs faintly, head spinning for a different reason now. "Oh my God… how did that not even occur to me?"

"Well, it's only a guess," Logan adds quickly. "Why don't we go back to your dad's, take one of your tests?"

"Okay," she agrees, then curses, shooting Logan a sheepish look. "Uh, would you believe I don't have any?"

"Seriously?"

"I left them all in Virginia," she admits. "I didn't think I would need them while I was here."

"That's okay. We'll just stop by the drugstore. Pick a couple up."

"Okay. Let's do that."

* * *

"You ready?" Veronica asks as they enter their beach house an hour later, coming to a stop in the entrance to the living room.

Veronica called Mac on the way to the drugstore to ask if they could use the house for a while, not wanting to take the pregnancy tests with Keith in the house too. Turns out, Mac is spending the day in L.A., so she won't be home for hours anyway.

"Yeah, I'm ready," Logan replies, shooting her a reassuring smile.

She's twisting the handles of the plastic drugstore bag around her fingers nervously, so he steps forward, reaching out to steady her hands.

"Come on, let's do this," he says softly, slipping a hand in hers.

He leads her down the hallway to their bedroom, which has been left untouched since they moved to Virginia, Mac having moved into the guest room while she's been housesitting. Tugging her into the en-suite bathroom, he releases her hand and turns to face her.

"I'll give you some privacy, but I'll be right outside the door, okay?"

"Yeah." Veronica exhales heavily. "I'll let you know when the sticks have been peed on."

"Okay." He nods, then leaves the room, closing the door behind him.

His head falls back against the wall next to the bathroom as he waits. This could be it. This could finally be it.  _Holy fuck._

About a minute later, the door opens, and Veronica appears in the doorway.

"It's done." She holds up her phone. "Timer's set for three minutes."

Logan takes her hand, leading her to the bed to sit beside him. "What do you reckon… this gonna be the longest three minutes ever?"

"Yep. I'd say so."

Linking their fingers, he gently nudges her side. "I love you. No matter what."

Veronica smiles at that, turning her head to look up at him. "I love you, too."

He returns her smile, before lowering his head and kissing her softly. God, it feels good to kiss her again; these last two weeks without her have been torture. She sighs against his mouth and he shifts, cupping her jaw with his free hand and deepening the kiss. He's just getting into it when the alarm on Veronica's phone sounds and they jump apart.

"Okay, maybe it wasn't  _that_  long," he mutters wryly.

Veronica glances toward the bathroom. "Shall we go check?"

Together, they stand and slowly walk back into the en-suite. Once inside the bathroom, he sees the three tests lined up side-by-side on the counter beside the sink.

"Let's look together, okay?" she suggests as they approach the sink. "No peeking until the count of three."

"No peeking," he agrees.

"Remember, it's one line for no, two lines for yes."

"I got it."

They come to a stop in front of the counter, both looking straight ahead, and Logan has to close his eyes in order to resist the urge to look down.

"Okay. On three," says Veronica, her voice shaking slightly. "One… Two… Three."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me for the cliffhanger (*cowers from flying objects*) :P.
> 
> Veronica's flying lesson is actually based on my own experience of taking an air experience flight a few years ago (I didn't do any barrel rolls, but I did get to do a loop-the-loop). This was the type of plane I flew: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/c2/Grob_G_115E_EA-3.JPG/1200px-Grob_G_115E_EA-3.JPG


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm really sorry for the wait for this chapter... I had hoped to update last week, but life got in the way again :(. It's here now though, and we're picking up from where chapter 12 left off...

Logan opens his eyes, his gaze immediately dropping to the three tests on the countertop.

 _Six lines._ His heart starts pounding as he realises what he's seeing. _Two lines for yes. One line for no. There are six lines. That's three positive tests._

_Holy fucking hell._

"Oh my God!" Veronica's astonished gasp snaps him back to attention. "Logan, they're positive. They're actually positive." She turns to look at him, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "I'm pregnant..."

Logan swallows against the lump in his throat as he nods. "Yeah, I think… I think you are."

"Wow… I don't know what… I mean… I can't believe this is actually happening."

While Veronica is babbling beside him, Logan can't seem to form  _any_  words at all. He can't even think straight right now. After so many months of hoping and praying (figuratively speaking) and always ending up disappointed, he's struggling to comprehend that this might really be happening. Of course, this is only the first step. Just because the tests are showing positive, it doesn't mean that all their problems are solved.

"I know," he manages eventually, tugging on her hand and pulling her into a hug.

Her arms tighten around him and she returns the hug for a moment, before she bounces on her toes, a small sound of excitement escaping her lips as she looks up at him with a wide smile.

"We're pregnant."

"Yeah," he agrees, unable to stop a matching smile from tugging at his own lips as he reaches down between them and places his hand against her stomach. "Yeah."

Her head lowers as her gaze follows the movement. "We should make an appointment with Dr. Anderson, get it confirmed."

He raises an eyebrow at the words. "So, I take it you're coming back to Virginia with me?"

She looks back up at him with an expression that tells him he's stating the obvious. "Of course I am."

"I'm glad," he replies, sliding his hand from her stomach and round to join the other against her lower back. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too," she says sincerely. She pauses for a moment, before adding coyly, "Hey, Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me?"

He grins, lowering his mouth to hers, tugging her close and pouring all of his relief and happiness into the kiss. When she makes a sound of pleasure against his mouth and winds her arms around his neck, he takes that as an invitation to deepen the kiss, his hands sliding down to cup her ass, gently squeezing the supple flesh through the thin material of her pants. He bends his knees and hoists her up onto the bathroom counter. As she makes herself comfortable, wriggling closer to him, the pregnancy tests go clattering to the floor.

Veronica breaks the kiss, pulling away with a soft giggle. "Oops."

Logan grins widely at the happiness shining in her eyes as he takes in the pink flush to her cheeks. He hasn't seen her this relaxed or light-hearted in months and it's awesome to see the light back in her eyes again. He didn't notice until today, when he saw how much more relaxed she is here, how much all the stress of the last few months has affected her, and her reaction to the positive tests a few moments ago only emphasises the difference in her demeanour now.

In hindsight, Veronica taking a break and coming back here for a while was possibly the best thing she could have done, because It's obvious now how much she needed this time away from everything. Even from him, as much as he hates to admit it.

He lifts one hand, tucking her hair behind her ear as he says tenderly, "I'm proud of you, Veronica."

She looks taken-aback. "What for?"

"For how well you've handled everything the last few months," he admits. "You've been dealing with so much and you've been so strong through it all."

She looks down, giving a self-conscious shrug. "Well, I didn't really have a choice."

"Yeah, you did," he disagrees. "You could have just decided to let nature take its course, but you didn't. You stuck it out, through the appointments and procedures and all the planning each month, and I know it wasn't easy for you, but you soldiered on."

"Well, until two weeks ago," she points out.

"Yeah, but your reaction was understandable," he says.

"Really?" She looks surprised. "You didn't seem too understanding when I left."

"You kinda blindsided me, Veronica," he reasons. "I didn't exactly have time to react to it before you rushed out the door."

"I'm sorry."

"Look, I think this break has been good for you," he says softly. "You seem much happier, more relaxed now. And it seems things are looking up after all."

He lets his hand slide down to her stomach, gently resting his palm there.

"Yeah." A fresh smile lights up her face. She leans in close, lowering her voice to just above a whisper as she adds excitedly, "Logan, we're going to have a baby."

He lowers his forehead to hers, giving another grin. "I know. I think it calls for a celebration."

"Hmm… what kind of celebration?"

"Well, Mac did say she was gonna be out for the rest of the day," he reminds her, "and our big, comfortable bed is just a few feet away…"

"I like your thinking," she says, reaching for his shirt and tugging him close as she leans up for a kiss.

* * *

They lie together in bed almost an hour later, Veronica relaxing back against the pillows, while Logan has settled himself on his stomach, lying between her legs so that he's face-to-face with her belly. Veronica can't keep the smile from her face, her fingers trailing through his hair as he traces gentle patterns across her belly.

She's still a little bit in shock; it hasn't really sunk in that she might really be pregnant. She's hesitant to believe it's true just yet… it won't seem completely real until they've seen Dr. Anderson and had it confirmed for sure. Logan seems so happy right now, though, and his excitement is infectious.

"You gonna stay like that all day?" she asks when he doesn't show any sign of moving.

"Maybe." His tone holds a smile as he lowers his head, kissing the skin just below her belly button.

She looks down at him with affection, her hand cupping the back of his head, before saying softly, "I told my dad. About what's been going on."

He glances up at her, sympathy in his eyes. "I know."

"You do?"

"Yeah, his morning he apologised for assuming I gave you chlamydia," he admits.

"Shit, really?" She feels her cheeks flush with mortification.  _Geez, Dad…_  "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he assures her quickly. "It's nice to know that his dislike of me was based on an incorrect assumption and not, you know, my base personality."

"Yeah…"

"So, you told him what happened with Beaver?" he asks.

She looks down at him again, frowning slightly at his position between her legs. "Hey, can you come back up here? It feels weird talking about this with you down there."

He raises an eyebrow and gives a smirk, though he nods, rising to his knees and moving to lie beside her.

"I wasn't planning on it," she continues, turning on her side to face him as he does the same. "But he knew something was wrong, and you know, once I started talking, it all came out. I should have told him the truth years ago."

Logan frowns, looking a little perturbed. "Does he know  _everything_?"

"Okay, not everything," she says, as she realises what he's really asking. "He knows what Beaver did. But not the rest; not about Duncan, or where the GHB came from."

"I appreciate that." He visibly relaxes, reaching out to stroke her hair back from her face, his fingers lingering at her neck.

"Yeah, well, he's still my dad; he doesn't need to know  _all_  the sordid details."

"How was it? Telling him?" he asks seriously.

She sighs. "It was hard… but I am relieved he finally knows."

"Yeah."

"I mean, all these years, I thought I was doing the right thing, protecting him from the truth." She thinks back to their conversation last weekend, how it felt to finally get it all off her chest, and something new, something she hasn't really considered until right now, comes to mind. "But maybe that wasn't the case at all."

"What do you mean?" Logan's fingers drift over her shoulder and along her arm, causing a tingle along her nerves.

"Well… what if something like that happened to  _my_  child?" she says softly. "What if they had some horrible secret like I did, or hell, even like Cassidy did… but they thought they had to keep it from me, to protect me from their pain? I would hate that."

"Yeah, I would, too."

"I mean, it shouldn't be their job to protect  _us_ , it should be the other way around," she adds, her chest tightening with sadness at the thought. "What was I even thinking back then, trying to deal with it all myself? I was  _sixteen_."

Logan shrugs, expression sympathetic. "You'd been through so much; you just did what you thought was right in the circumstances."

"Yeah, but it was still stupid."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," he says, linking his fingers with hers. "We all have things we wish we'd done differently as teenagers."

"Yeah, we do." A look of understanding passes between them, before Veronica adds firmly, "We have to make sure that our child knows they can come to us about anything, even if it's something terrible like we went through."

Logan's fingers tighten around hers. "We will."

Veronica nods in agreement, before a smile spreads across her face, the significance of what she's just said dawning on her. "Wow,  _our_  child. I didn't think it would ever happen."

"I did," he replies confidently. "I knew it would."

"You did, huh?" She raises an eyebrow at him.

"Yep." He grins.

His smile is infectious and Veronica can't help returning it, another bubble of happiness rising in her chest. She leans forward to brush her lips against his in a soft kiss, but before she can pull away, Logan tugs her closer, pulling her to his chest as he rolls her onto her back and settles between her legs.

"You know," says Veronica, between kisses. "We can't stay like this all day; it could get awkward when Mac gets home."

He gives a small shrug, unconcerned as he starts kissing his way down her neck. "So? It's our house."

"Yeah, but we don't technically live here right now," she counters, even as her fingers tangle in his hair. "I don't think she'd appreciate walking in on us in flagrante."

Logan lifts his hand and looking up at her with a faux-innocent expression.

"Yeah, okay, probably not," he concedes, before shooting her a wicked grin. "How about one more round and then we'll get out of here."

"You're on."

* * *

It's early evening by the time they arrive back at Keith's house, and as Logan pulls the rental car into the driveway and cuts the engine, Veronica turns to him.

"Can we keep this between us for now?" she asks. "I mean, it isn't even official yet, and you know, you're supposed to wait until after the first trimester to tell people anyway."

"Of course we can," he says with a smile. "I was gonna say the same thing."

"Good. So, we're on the same page." She returns the smile, before reaching for the door handle. "Come on, let's go in."

They head up the steps to her father's front door, only stopping for a moment to share a kiss, before heading inside.

"Veronica, Logan, you're home," Keith greets jovially as they enter the living room. "You two have a good day?"

"The best." Veronica grins as her thoughts turn to the crazy events of the last few hours. "Logan took me flying."

 _And then we found out we were pregnant, and had two very satisfying rounds of sex_ , she adds silently.  _But I'm not telling you that part._

"Wow, really? That's awesome," he says. "You get to fly it?"

"Yep." She nods enthusiastically. "It was so cool, Dad. We did aerobatics and everything. You should try it sometime."

"Oh, um." Her dad shakes his head. "No, I don't think… I'm just fine on dry land, thanks."

Beside her, Logan gives a small chuckle. "Totally understandable, Keith."

Veronica's stomach grumbles and she realises she's barely eaten all day.  _Not a good thing when you're pregnant_ , she reminds herself as she wanders over to the kitchen and pulls open the fridge door. "I'm starving. What's for dinner?"

"Oh, actually, we're going out," says her dad. "I've booked a table at Mama Leone's."

Veronica shuts the fridge and turns to face him with a grin. "Really? Awesome. I haven't eaten there in forever."

"Uh, Veronica, we got take-out from there the night before we moved to Virginia," Logan reminds her.

"Exactly," she responds. "It's been  _five months_."

Logan looks like he's trying not to laugh as he approaches her, sliding his arms around her waist as he leans down to kiss her nose.

"How on Earth did you survive for all that time at Stanford and Columbia?" he jokes.

"Oh, shut up, you." She swats at his chest, then turns to her dad again, who is watching them with a bemused look. "We're leaving soon though, right?"

"Yeah, table's booked for six-thirty."

"Awesome." She grins, stepping out of Logan's embrace. "I'm gonna go take a quick shower and change."

Forty minutes later, they arrive at Mama Leone's and Veronica's mouth drops open when she sees Mac and Wallace already sitting at their reserved table.

"What are you guys doing here?"

"Hey, Vee." Wallace gives a crooked smile as he gets up to give her a hug. "Happy Birthday."

"Your dad invited us," explains Mac, nodding toward Keith as she also rises for a hug. "He knew Logan would be here too, so he suggested we join you for dinner."

 _Huh_. She turns to her father questioningly. "You knew he was coming and you didn't say anything?"

"Don't blame him. I wanted it to be a surprise," Logan steps in. "For your birthday."

"Hmm…" Veronica eyes him critically, though she lets it slide for now.

"Anyway, we're all here now, so let's eat, shall we?"

"Yes, let's," Veronica agrees vehemently. "I need food."

"Of course you do," Logan jokes, though he catches her eye and his grin widens slightly, obviously thinking the same thing she is: she could be eating for two now.

They take their seats and order their food, making small-talk while they wait. Though Veronica has seen her friends a couple of times since she's been home, she hasn't been in the best frame of mind the last few weeks, and if she's honest, she didn't really give them her full attention when they hung out. Now, though, she feels lighter, happier than she has in a long time, which means she can just sit back and enjoy their company without being distracted. Well… not distracted by her own worries anyway, because if the way his hand is sliding up her leg, fingers curling around the inside of her thigh, is any indication, Logan is trying to distract her in a completely different way.

Continuing her conversation with Mac, she reaches below the table and clamps her fingers around his hand, halting his movements just before  _his_  fingers reach their intended destination. She shoots him a glare, then tugs his hand from her lap and brings it up to the table, linking their fingers. In response, he just smirks and gives her a wink. Trying not to roll her eyes, she turns back to Mac again, catching her father's eye as she does so; he's watching them with a slight frown, but when she gives him a questioning look, he looks away and starts talking to Wallace instead.

Their food soon arrives and silence falls across the table as they dig in. Veronica's lasagne tastes as amazing as ever and she can't help feeling a pang of anticipated homesickness at the thought of leaving Neptune again tomorrow. As happy as she is to be going back with Logan, to begin this next chapter of their lives together, it still doesn't make up for the fact that Neptune is home and Virginia Beach isn't, not even with Logan and Pony there with her.

"Here." Logan nudges her, holding up a forkful of  _pollo alla cacciatore_  to her. "Try some of this."

She leans forward, opening her mouth to accept the mouthful of chicken and almost moans aloud at the taste. "God, that's good."

"I know, right?" He flashes a smile, before leaning forward to kiss her gently.

"You want some lasagne?" she offers.

"Sure."

She gathers some onto her fork and offers it to him.

"Mmm, brings back memories," he says appreciatively, after swallowing the mouthful.

They share a warm smile, eyes locked with each other until the sound of someone clearing their throat startles them out of the moment. Veronica turns her head to find Wallace, Mac and Keith all staring at them in bewilderment.

It's Wallace who speaks first. "Okay, something's up with the two of you. You're acting weird."

"Yeah, what's with all the PDAs?" adds Mac. "You're not usually like this."

"Nothing's up," Veronica denies. "We just haven't seen each other in two weeks, that's all."

"Really?" Keith looks sceptical. "Because we've all seen you two after you've spent several months apart. Something's different today."

"It's my birthday and we're celebrating. Nothing's different," Veronica insists, hoping she's coming across as innocent, despite lying through her teeth. "Honest."

"If you say so," Mac replies in a sing-song tone, before turning to Wallace. "What do you reckon it is? Logan's got a promotion?"

"Maybe Veronica's landed some big new client?" suggests Wallace.

"Or they've won the lottery!" adds Mac. "No, wait, they've already got millions."

It's Keith who pipes up next, as he studies her thoughtfully, something changing in his expression. "Or maybe they're p—"

"Okay, everyone, stop." Veronica holds up a hand, halting her father's words before he can finish. She has a pretty good idea what he was about to say; he's figured it out, which means they're gonna have to tell them after all. "Fine. You're right, there is something going on."

She looks to Logan, who reaches for her hand and nods his approval for her to continue.

"After Logan's flying lesson this morning, I wasn't feeling too good. I thought it was from the aerobatics we did, but actually, I haven't been feeling well for a couple of days," she tells them. "Mac, the reason we went to the beach house earlier today was because I needed some privacy… to take a pregnancy test."

"Oh my God!" Mac gasps, her hand coming to her mouth.

"Shit, Veronica." That comes from a wide-eyed Wallace, while Keith just looks between Veronica and Logan, realisation dawning.

"And?" asks Mac impatiently.

Veronica shares a glance with Logan, taking a deep breath before she says, "It was positive. All three tests we did were positive."

"Oh, wow, really?" Wallace's shell-shocked expression quickly becomes one of pleased surprise. "That's awesome!"

"Oh my God, Veronica…" Mac's face lights up with a wide smile, as her eyes shine. "I'm so happy for you."

Her father, however, doesn't say anything and instead gets up from his seat and rounds the table so he can give her a hug. Veronica rises to meet him and finds herself wrapped tightly in his arms.

"Congratulations, sweetheart," he tells her softly, voice filled with emotion. "Finally making me a grandpa, huh? I knew it would work out… you deserve to be happy, both of you."

"Thanks, Dad," she replies, her voice cracking despite her efforts to stop it happening.

Keith eventually releases her and then turns to Logan, offering him a handshake, then pulling him into a hug as well.

"Listen guys," says Veronica seriously when Keith returns to his seat. "Part of the reason we didn't want to say anything yet is because it's really early. It hasn't even been confirmed by a doctor, and given the risks and everything we've gone through over the last few months, we're not getting our hopes up just yet."

"Yeah, of course, Vee," Wallace says quickly. "If there's anything we can do to help, just let us know."

Looking around at her family and closest friends, she feels her eyes well up with tears as her chest tightens with a sudden overflow of emotion.

"Thanks, guys. That means so much," she manages, even as her voice breaks. To her mortification, she feels a tear slip from her eye and start to slide down her face. She quickly wipes it away, giving a self-conscious laugh. "Geez, I don't know what's wrong with me."

"I think it's called hormones," says Mac with a smile.

"Yeah." Veronica lets out a small sound that seems to be half-giggle and half-sob as Logan slips his arm around her shoulder and tugs her close, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Maybe it is."

* * *

"Veronica, Logan, it's good to see you."

Dr. Anderson smiles, standing as they enter her office early Tuesday evening. They've been lucky to get an appointment later in the day so Logan hasn't had to take any time off.

"Good to see you, too, doctor," Logan greets, returning her smile as he steps forward to shake her hand, before joining Veronica in taking a seat.

"So, what can I do for you, today?" the doctor asks as she too takes a seat. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I think so," says Veronica, reaching for Logan's hand. He takes it without hesitation, squeezing gently in support. "I mean, the last few months have been hard, and to be honest, I've been feeling pretty much ready to give up on the idea of getting pregnant."

"Veronica, I'm sorry to hear that."

"I needed a break for a while so I went back home to California for a couple weeks," she adds, "but then Logan flew out for my birthday this past weekend. I hadn't been feeling well for a few days, so we took a pregnancy test—well, three tests, actually—and they finally showed positive."

"Really? That's great news." Dr Anderson looks genuinely pleased for them, which puts Logan's mind at ease a little.

"So, that's why we're here now," Veronica adds, "for you to confirm it."

"I can certainly do that." The doctor nods. "Though, I should tell you that home pregnancy tests are very accurate these days, possibly even more accurate than the tests we perform here, but if you'd like, I can still take a urine sample."

"I would like that, thanks," says Veronica.

"Okay, we'll do that, and we also can do a sonogram today as well."

"Yeah? That would be great." Veronica nods, glancing over at Logan. "Thanks."

He gives her an encouraging smile, trying not to let his nerves show. He's been on edge all day, knowing the appointment was coming up, that soon they would know for sure.

Dr. Anderson hands Veronica a urine sample bottle, who leaves the office to head down the hall to the bathroom. Once she's gone, the doctor turns to him.

"So, how are you, Logan?"

"Yeah, not bad," he says with a nod. "I mean, it's been difficult, getting our hopes up every month and then the all the tests being negative, but it's been worse for Veronica, because, you know, it's her body; she's the one having to go through all the emotional heartache."

"It can't have been easy on you either, though," she says, her tone sympathetic.

"No, it hasn't," he admits. "It's been so hard watching her struggling and not being able to do anything to make it better."

"I understand that." The doctor gives a nod. "But I meant it can't have been easy dealing with your own feelings to."

"Yeah, well." Logan gives a shrug, not really wanting to get into it all with the doctor. "I've been getting through it. And, I mean, now it looks like it's finally happening, so…"

Dr. Anderson studies him thoughtfully, and Logan fights the urge to fidget under her gaze. She looks like she's about to say something more, but then the office door opens and Veronica reappears, urine sample in hand.

"Here, you go, Doc," she says, handing the sample to the doctor and taking a seat.

"Thanks, Veronica." Dr. Anderson smiles. "I'll test this now quickly now, but I'll also send it off to the lab for analysis just to be sure. I'll be back in a couple of minutes, okay?"

The doctor disappears with the sample bottle, leaving Veronica and Logan alone.

"You okay?" Logan asks, taking her hand again.

"Yeah. I think so." She gives him a small smile. "This is all so surreal. I mean, we've been wishing for this for months, but now it seems to finally be happening, it feels like it's too good to be true."

"Yeah, it does," he agrees.

"I just didn't want to get my hopes up until it actually happened, you know?"

"I know," he says, lifting their joined hands to his lips and pressing a kiss to the back of hers.

Silence falls between them as they wait for Dr. Anderson to reappear.

"God, this is worse than waiting for the home test results," comments Veronica, breaking the silence a few moments later.

"She'll be back soon."

As if on cue, the door opens and the doctor walks through, taking a seat behind her desk once more. Her expression gives nothing away and Logan really does find himself fidgeting this time.

 _Come on_ , he thinks impatiently.  _Just get it over with._

"Okay, I've prepared the sample ready for the lab, and I've also done a dipstick test here at the clinic," says the doctor, before breaking into a wide smile. "Congratulations, you're pregnant."

Veronica's reaction is a gasp of surprise, like she can't quite believe what she's hearing, before she manages a breathy, high-pitched, "Really?"

For Logan, on the other hand, the words are taking their time to sink in and he can't seem to form any coherent words just yet.

Dr. Anderson nods. "Yes, really. The test showed elevated levels of hCG, which is what your home pregnancy tests detected as well."

"Oh my God…" mutters Veronica, turning to him. "Logan, we're pregnant."

"We are?" He doesn't mean it to sound like a question, but it comes out that way all the same. "I mean, we are. Wow."

"I'm so pleased for you both," says Dr. Anderson. "I know that the last few months have been hard on you."

"Yeah," agrees Veronica. "They have."

"Now, I'll call you in a couple of days to let you know the results of the lab tests when they come back," says the doctor. "But today, I also want to do a sonogram, both to confirm what the urine test showed and also to make sure we're not looking at an ectopic pregnancy."

"Sure, of course," Veronica agrees quickly. "That could be a possibility, an ectopic pregnancy?"

"It could," she admits. "The risk of the fertilised egg attaching itself to the lining of the fallopian tube instead of reaching the uterus is higher in cases of damaged or blocked tubes, so given your history, we need to make sure that hasn't happened."

"Right, okay."

"Since you're pretty early into the pregnancy, it's better if we do a transvaginal sonogram, which will help us more easily detect the age of the foetus and the existence of an ectopic pregnancy."

"Is that something I can be here for?" Logan asks, not sure he really wants to know what's involved in a transvaginal sonogram.

"Of course, if Veronica's happy with that," the doctor responds. She must see something in his expression, because she smiles, adding, "Don't worry, you'll be covered with a sheet."

"It's fine with me," Veronica agrees, squeezing Logan's hand.

"Great. Let's get started, shall we?"

While the doctor prepares the sonogram equipment, Veronica ducks behind the curtain surrounding the small exam table in the corner of the room to get undressed. A couple of minutes later, he's sitting beside Veronica and everything is ready to go.

"You shouldn't feel any discomfort, Veronica, but there may be some light pressure as I move the transducer to get the best picture," says Dr. Anderson. "Nothing to worry about."

"Okay." Veronica nods, reaching for Logan's hand. "Go for it."

Logan watches Veronica's face as the doctor starts the sonogram, smiling gently in reassurance as she squeezes his hand a little tighter. Dr. Anderson doesn't say anything for a couple of minutes, her gaze fixed on the monitor as she adjusts the transducer, but then she smiles and turns her attention to them.

"Good news, there's no ectopic pregnancy."

"Oh, thank God," murmurs Veronica with a sigh of relief.

"And I can also see the foetus." Her smile widens. "Congratulations again, you're definitely pregnant, Veronica."

"I am?" The pure delight that spreads across his wife's face makes Logan's heart constrict in his chest, his own emotions starting to rise to the surface.

"You are." The doctor nods. "I'd say about six weeks along."

Veronica frowns at that, and Logan has to admit he's a little puzzled too. "Six weeks? But I took a test three weeks ago, and it was negative."

"Ah, well, the date of conception is calculated from the first day of your last period, which was in… mid-July?"

"It was."

"Right, so that's what we use for the conception date, though you likely didn't actually conceive until you were ovulating a couple of weeks later."

"Okay, that makes sense." Veronica nods in understanding. "Can we see it?"

"Of course. Though, I have to warn you, there's not much to see yet. At six weeks, the foetus is only the size of a sweet pea."

"Seriously? That small?" Logan blinks in surprise… but then, what was he expecting, really?

"Uh huh." Dr. Anderson nods, turning the monitor towards them. "Okay, so here we are."

All Logan can see is a mass of black and white shapes, with no real definition to them. "Uh, what exactly are we looking at here?"

The doctor smiles like she was expecting the question and starts pointing out the various features on the sonogram. "Okay, so this is your uterus, Veronica, and this right here…" She indicates a tiny white blob near the edge. "Is your baby."

"Wow." Veronica exhales in a whoosh of air.

"Wow is about right," agrees Logan. "It's so tiny."

"Would you like me to print a copy for you?"

"Please." Veronica gives a nod.

"That would great," Logan murmurs, his gaze still focused on the screen.

_This is crazy. That's my baby in there._

Dr. Anderson prints the picture and hands it to Veronica, before turning off the screen and removing the transducer.

"Okay, we're all done," she says. "We'll leave you to get dressed, Veronica, and then we can talk about what happens next."

Veronica passes the photo over to Logan and he follows the doctor back to her desk, giving Veronica some privacy. As he takes his seat again, he can't take his eyes off the sonogram picture, running a finger over the tiny blob in the middle, various emotions simultaneously swirling together in his belly: excitement, joy, nervousness, fear...

When Veronica is ready and has joined them again, Dr. Anderson gives them an estimated due date of mid-April, then talks them through the next steps: setting up regular appointments, plus when they'll be able to hear the heartbeat and when they can find out the sex, if they want to. She also hands them various pamphlets filled with information about pregnancy and childbirth. It's a lot of information to get all at once and if Logan's feeling a little overwhelmed by it all, he can only imagine how Veronica's feeling right now.

After thanking Dr. Anderson for everything she's done for them over the last few months, they leave the clinic and get in the car. Logan's about to start the engine when he notices Veronica staring at the sonogram picture, running her fingers over it, just like he had earlier.

"It's a lot to take in, huh?"

"Yeah…" She nods, gaze lingering on the photo for a moment longer before she turns to face him.

The moment he sees the unshed tears in her eyes, he unbuckles his seat belt and shifts so he can pull her into his arms.

"We're having a baby, Logan." Her voice cracks on his name. "I can't believe we're actually having a baby."

"We are."

He lifts his head, pulling back so he can see her properly. He catches a strand of her hair between his fingers and slips it behind her ear, before leaning in to kiss her, pouring all of the pent-up emotion coursing through him into it.

"We are," he repeats when they break apart. "And it's going to be awesome."


	14. Chapter 14

**August 2019**

**Six weeks along**

"Wow…" Logan says on an exhale, as he sinks down onto the couch when they arrive home from Dr. Anderson's office that evening.

"Yeah…" Veronica replies with a smile as she joins him.

"Lemme see that again," he says, reaching over and plucking the sonogram photo from her fingers. Holding it up to get a good look, he murmurs, "This is surreal."

"You're telling me," she agrees wholeheartedly.

He tears his eyes from the photo to look over at her, concern in his expression. "How're you feeling?"

"I'm okay," she assures him. "A little queasy, but okay. It's still sinking in, you know?"

"Yeah, I know." He nods, smiling softly, gently placing the photo down on the coffee table, before slipping his arm around her waist. "Hey, come here."

He lifts her easily, manoeuvring her onto his lap. Veronica smiles down at him, her hands coming to his uniform shirt, fingers playing with the lapels. Logan returns the smile for a moment, before he shifts forward, lifting his chin so that his mouth meets hers.

A soft murmur of contentment escapes her lips as she slides her hands up over his shoulders, burying her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck, sinking into the kiss. Logan's palms flatten against her spine as he tugs her even closer and Veronica shudders at the touch. It feels so good to be intimate with him again without the stress or worry of trying to conceive a baby. They can be together just because; they can make love for no other reason than they need and want each other.

Veronica's hands move back down to his shirt, unbuttoning it quickly, then sliding it over his shoulders, as Logan's mouth leaves hers, nuzzling her neck, his hands cupping her bottom and pressing her lower body against his. The feel of him, hard and ready for her, sends thrills of pleasure through her whole body. Moving her hands down over the bare torso beneath his shirt, Veronica stops at his belt, deftly undoing it, then tugging the zipper down and slipping her hand inside. Logan inhales sharply against her neck as she wraps her fingers around him, stroking gently. His head lifts as his hips buck beneath her and his hands move under her thin shirt, sliding up her sides and bringing the material with them. Pulling the shirt over her head, he drops it to the floor, his gaze becoming fixed on her chest.

"What?" she asks breathily when he makes no further movement, her hand stilling around his length.

He gives her a crooked smile, raising an eyebrow as he asks, "Where did  _those_  come from?"

She glances down at her chest, only to realise her breasts are straining against the material of her bra in a way they never have before.

"Oh. Yeah. Side-effect of pregnancy, I guess." She frowns then, tilting her head as she studies them. "They were still normal size the other day, though, right?"

"Yeah." He bobs his eyebrows suggestively. "I think I would have noticed if they weren't."

"You know what this means, right?" she says jokingly. "For the next few months, you're gonna get what you've always wanted: a wife with full-sized boobs."

He doesn't laugh though, or even crack a smile. Instead he just looks at her with a small frown. "Veronica, you know I have absolutely no complaints, right?"

"I know." She brushes him off quickly. "It was just a joke."

"I'm serious," he says firmly. "I love everything about you, just the way it is."

She swallows against the unexpected emotions that suddenly come to the surface, cursing the stupid pregnancy hormones for making her so tearful, then tries to deflect with another joke.

"But big boobs certainly can't hurt, huh?"

His eyes narrow slightly and he looks like he might say something more, but then he seems to decide against it, and instead just teases lightly, "You're right. Better make the most of them."

Even as he says it though, his expression is still serious, and she smiles in response, giving a gentle nod of understanding, before adding, "Better get to it then, Buddy."

"Uh, that's  _Lieutenant_  Buddy to you," he retorts playfully, even as he reaches around to unhook her bra, easing it off before his hands come up to cup her tender, slightly swollen breasts.

"Oh, wow…" she says on a sigh, his thumbs brushing across her nipples and sending tingles through her torso.

"Feels good, huh?" He cocks an eyebrow. "I heard everything gets more… sensitive during pregnancy."

"Got that right."

She bites her lip as he starts gently kneading her flesh, then lets out a low moan when he leans forward and licks a circle around her nipple, the caress shooting pleasure straight to her core. Her hips shift against him and he moves forward in response, his length brushing against the seam of her pants.

"Wait a sec," she manages, gently pushing against his chest.

He pulls back with a frown. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just need to get more comfortable."

She slides off his lap and quickly tugs off her jeans and underwear, and in return, Logan shimmies out of his uniform trousers and boxers, kicking them to one side, before tugging his shirt the rest of the way off. Veronica straddles him on the sofa again, rising up so she's hovering above him, her breasts in line with his face. His palms come to rest on her hips as he leans up again and captures one of her nipples in his mouth. The sensitivity of her flesh causes her to moan breathily as, guided by Logan's hands, she sinks down onto him.

They make love slowly, tenderly, holding eye contact as Veronica rises above him, then slowly sinks down again, over and over, feeling every inch of him as he slides inside her.

"I've missed this," she murmurs softly, resting her hands on his shoulders for leverage as they move together. "Just being together. No pressure."

"Me, too," he agrees, smiling up at her as he pushes her hair back over one shoulder, letting his fingers linger against her skin. "Love you."

"Love you, too."

Her eyes slide closed, her head falling back with a sigh as his fingers drift down over her chest, coming to rest on her stomach for a moment, before his thumb slips between her folds and begins to stroke her intimately.

"Yeah… like that…"

Just like the atmosphere between them in this moment, her orgasm starts slow and soft, just a wave of warmth spreading outwards from her centre, flowing through her body until it engulfs her. Hips bucking against him, she tips over the edge with a breathy moan, her head thrown back and body trembling as she rides it out. As she's catching her breath, Logan grips her hips, thrusting up into her. He guides her movements, picking up the pace, and Veronica wraps her arms around his neck, pressing her forehead to his and moving with him. His hand slips between their bodies again, stroking and caressing her clit until she comes again and he follows right after.

As they recover, gasping for breath, Logan gives a lopsided smile, leaning in to kiss her before shifting so she's lying beneath him on the large blanket draped over the couch. He settles over her, resting his weight on his forearms as he kisses her again.

"Hi," he murmurs, brushing his nose against hers.

"Hi," she responds with a smile, reaching up to run her fingers along his cheek.

"Is it weird that I feel like I'm going to burst with happiness?" he asks softly.

Veronica's heart skips a beat at the raw emotion in his tone, but she can't help responding with a quip. "Oh, is  _that_  what the kids are calling it these days?"

"Very funny."

He reaches up, tugging on the other half of the blanket, which covers the back of the couch, and pulls it around them as he shifts to the side, adjusting his position so they can snuggle together. With a smile, Veronica rests her head against his chest and lets her fingers drift across his skin.

After a few moments of silence, she speaks up. "So, are you finally gonna tell me what's been going on with you lately?"

"What do you mean? Nothing's going on," he denies quickly.

Too quickly.

"Yeah, your poker face could use some serious work," she responds, raising a disbelieving eyebrow at him. "You've been cagey for months, and don't think I didn't notice how you and Dr. Anderson clammed up when I came back into the room earlier."

There's a pause, before he finally says, "Okay, fine. Something has been going on."

"Go on…"

He sighs. "Look, Veronica, the reason I didn't say anything before is because I didn't want it to affect things, or cloud your judgement."

Veronica freezes, her blood running cold as a number of horrible scenarios flit through her mind. Has he done something that would hurt her, or their relationship? Broken the law? Or God forbid, cheated on her? She shakes her head.  _No, don't be stupid, Veronica; he wouldn't do that… Right?_

She grits her teeth. "Just spit it out, Logan."

"I know how hard the last few months have been for you, how stressful and draining and emotional it's been, and I know you were trying not to get your hopes up too much," he says softly. "And I understand that, I really do… it's just that, for me, the thought that it might never happen, that we might never be able to have a baby…" He rests his hand over her stomach. "It was killing me, Veronica."

"What?" she manages, torn between relief that it's not something more serious, and shock over his words.

"I want it so much," he admits. "So much that I wasn't sure I'd be able to handle it if you couldn't get pregnant."

"Wait, what are you saying?" She rises up onto one elbow so she can face him. "What, you were gonna leave if it didn't happen?"

"No, of course not," he says quickly, looking offended. "How could you think that?"

"Well, the 'not being able to handle it if I can't have a kid' part was a bit of a clue," she says bitingly.

"You're twisting my words," he protests.

"Am I?" she retorts.

With frustration, she sits up and reaches for her underwear, tugging them on and then, because she's getting cold, she grabs Logan's discarded shirt and shoves her arms into it with more force than is probably necessary.

She turns to face him again. "You just said you wouldn't be able to handle it."

"That's not what I meant." He pushes himself up to a sitting position as well, bringing the blanket with him.

"Well, enlighten me then."

"I'm trying to," he snaps, then sucks in a steadying breath as he runs a hand through his hair. "Look, Veronica, I love you, okay? I can't imagine my life without you, and I will always,  _always_  support you. But you're not the only one who's been affected by all this. I'm just trying to explain to you how I feel."

"Okay, fine." Veronica sighs, relenting. He has a point. "Go ahead."

"I've been trying to push it to the back of my mind, to be strong and supportive for you, to convince myself that it's all good," he says. "But, I mean, I know you've noticed it… I look at Ava and I picture our baby, I see young families playing in the park and I imagine us doing the same." He shakes his head. "I never realised how much I wanted to be a father until there was a real possibility it couldn't happen. It's been eating at me for months, Veronica. And I'm not talking about some fleeting feeling; it's been like this ache inside me, all the time. That's what I meant about not handling it. I didn't know if or how I could fix the ache if it didn't happen."

As he bares his soul, Veronica sobers, emotions swirling inside her. How did she miss all this, how had she not realised what he was going through?  _You know, perfectly well how, Veronica; you were too caught up in your own feelings to notice._

She reaches out, placing a hand on his forearm. "Logan, why didn't you tell me?"

He looks to the ceiling, his mouth falling open slightly as he shakes his head. "I couldn't put that on you, not when you were trying to deal with everything else. It wouldn't have been fair."

"Yeah, okay. I guess can understand that," she tells him. "But, Logan, we need to be able to talk to each other. About anything."

"I know," he agrees. "I wanted to, but I couldn't, not before, anyway. But now—"

"Now, I'm pregnant," she finishes for him, "and you don't have to worry about it anymore."

"Yeah," he agrees, looking a little uneasy

"I get that, but, you know, a lot can happen in the next few months," she says, hand coming to her stomach. "As much as I hate to even think it, something still could go wrong with this pregnancy."

"I know that," he says softly.

"Look, we're in this together, you and me," she says, leaning closer to him. "Promise me you'll talk to me in future instead of just bottling it up because you want to spare my feelings."

"Yeah, I will." He nods in confirmation.

"Good." She smiles. "Now I don't know about you, but I'm starving. How about we get dressed and fix some dinner?"

"Sounds good to me."

"And while we're at it, we should probably let Pony out of the kitchen," she adds. "She's been stuck in there for about three hours now."

* * *

**Late September 2019**

**Eleven weeks along**

Logan wakes Wednesday morning to find Veronica's side of the bed empty… something that's become a regular occurrence over the last few weeks. Reaching for a shirt, he pulls it on and slides out of the bed, leaving the room in search of her. It's not hard to guess where she is; the bathroom has become something of a second home for her lately.

He heads down the hall, finding the bathroom door ajar and Veronica kneeling on the floor in front of the toilet, trying to hold her long hair back from her face as morning sickness takes hold. In a second, he's kneeling beside her and gathering up her hair in his hand so she doesn't have to keep holding it.

"It's okay, I'm here," he says soothingly, gently rubbing her back. "It'll be over soon."

She turns her head toward him briefly, trying for a grateful smile, before doubling over the toilet again. Logan closes his eyes for a moment, trying not to let the sound of her retching affect him. While he has a pretty sturdy stomach after years spent living on aircraft carriers and having to witness fellow officers and sailors getting seasick, it's different when it's happening right in front of him and when it's his wife who's unwell.

He studies Veronica with concern as she empties what's left of the contents of her stomach into the toilet; she's pale and sweaty, and there are dark circles under her eyes, which tell him she's been in here for half the night… while he was fast asleep and blissfully unaware of her struggles. His heart goes out to her; in all the time they spent trying to conceive, neither one of them actually considered how difficult being pregnant might be.

After a couple more minutes of hugging the toilet bowl, she finally sinks back against him, looking exhausted as tears runs down her cheeks. Logan can sympathise; he spent enough time nursing hangovers and withdrawal symptoms in high school and college to remember how wretched it feels when you can't stop throwing up.

"Feeling better now?" he asks, hugging her to him.

"A bit. I'm so tired," she mutters. "And I feel sick  _all_  the time."

"I'm sorry."

"I hate being pregnant."

The vehement, almost petulant statement draws a smile, though he's quick to suppress it, as he responds, "No, you don't."

"Yeah, you're right. I don't," she agrees tiredly. "But I do hate morning sickness. Though how they can call it that when it lasts all day and night, I don't know."

"Did you get  _any_  sleep last night?"

"Some," she admits, "but not much."

"Come on, let's get you back to bed, hmm?"

"Okay." She gives a yawn. "But let me freshen up a bit first."

Logan waits patiently while she splashes water on her face and brushes her teeth, before picking her up bridal-style and carrying her back to the bedroom. He places her down on the mattress and pulls the covers up before taking a seat on the edge of the bed, gently smoothing a comforting hand across her forehead.

"I would stay with you, but I have to get to the base," he says apologetically.

"That's okay. Go," she murmurs, turning onto her side, her eyes starting to close. "I'll just spend the day lying right here."

"Don't forget to eat something, if you can," he reminds her. "It's important for the baby."

"I know. I'll try." She nods, her eyes fully closed now, on the verge of sleep.

"I'll be back at twelve-thirty to pick you up for the scan this afternoon, okay?"

"Okay."

Logan smiles as he leans down to kiss her forehead. "Sleep well."

* * *

One o'clock that afternoon finds Veronica lying on the exam table in Dr. Anderson's office, her shirt pulled up to expose her stomach and the very slight baby bump that is just starting to form, ready for her next routine scan. Logan sits beside her, his hand clasped around hers, as he smiles encouragingly at her.

Despite managing to get a good three hours of sleep this morning, Veronica's still feeling exhausted, and while her stomach has calmed a little, she still hasn't been able to bring herself to eat anything today. She tried a couple of times; going down to the kitchen in the hope of finding something she could keep down, but just the sight of half of the contents of the fridge, let alone the smell, made her gag. In the end, she settled for pouring a large glass of water and curling up on the sofa with Pony… which is how Logan found her when he came to pick her up thirty minutes ago.

"Okay, Veronica, let's get started, shall we?" Dr. Anderson says jovially. "Now this is just a routine scan, so we can check everything is progressing well. I'll confirm your due date, and we'll be able to hear the heartbeat as well."

"Wow, awesome." Veronica's own heart rate speeds up at the thought.

_I'm going to hear my baby's heartbeat… this is getting even more real now._

The doctor gives a nod and a smile. "We'll also do a blood test to check your hormone levels, along with the nuchal translucency screening, which measures the back of the baby's neck to make sure there's no indication of a chromosomal abnormality."

"What would it mean if there was?" Logan asks, gently squeezing Veronica's hand.

Veronica already knows, having been reading up on pregnancy scans and risks, but she lets Dr. Anderson answer anyway.

"Well, it's a very small risk, but if the baby's neck is thicker than normal, it could indicate a chromosomal condition like Down's Syndrome, or possibly heart problems."

"Right, okay…" Logan murmurs faintly, looking worried, and now it's Veronica's turn to squeeze his hand in reassurance.

"It's just a standard screening, Logan," the doctor tells him. "It's better to know now if there are likely to be any complications, so that you can decide what action to take, if any."

"Well, that's totally reassuring," he responds with more than just a hint of sarcasm.

"Logan, don't be an ass." Veronica frowns at him in annoyance, before turning back to the doctor apologetically. "Sorry, ignore him. Where were we?"

Dr. Anderson looks like she's trying to hide a smile as she says, "Okay, we'll start the ultrasound now. I'm going to squeeze some gel onto your stomach—a word of warning, it's a little cold—and then we'll take a look at your baby."

"Sounds good." Veronica smiles, then turns to Logan and shoots him a warning look. He just shrugs apologetically before giving a sheepish smile… one she does not return.

Veronica flinches as the cold gel is smeared across her skin, but then the doctor runs the transducer over her stomach and a rhythmic whooshing sound comes through the speakers, and her attention focuses on that instead.

"There we go: a nice, strong heartbeat," Dr. Anderson says with a warm smile.

The simple statement, accompanied by the sound of her baby's heartbeat fills Veronica with a sudden burst of joy, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Oh, wow…" That comes from Logan, who leans forward to try to see the screen more clearly. "That's amazing."

"Okay, and here is your baby," the doctor says turning the screen so it's at a better angle for them both to see and points to the black and white image.

Veronica's surprised to find she can actually make out some real definition this time. She can see a head, and a body and…

"Is that an arm… and a leg?" She grabs Logan's arm excitedly. "Oh my God, Logan do you see that? It's a foot with tiny little toes. My baby has toes!"

"It sure does," Dr. Anderson replies with a wide smile as she moves the transducer a little to the right. "And fingers too… do you see?"

"I do." Veronica turns to Logan, who is staring at the monitor with an awed expression. Her chest constricts with happiness at the excitement in his eyes.

"It's incredible," he murmurs, shaking his head.

"Isn't it?" she replies, still trying to get her head around it herself.

"Now, it's still too early to tell the sex of the baby," Dr Anderson speaks up then, interrupting the moment. "But for the sake of not accidentally revealing anything you don't want to know, have you decided whether you want to find out?"

"Oh, um…" Veronica looks to Logan in question.

It's been a topic of contention between them lately. Logan wants to know, because he thinks they should be prepared with as much information as possible, but Veronica doesn't want to jinx anything. It would be so much more heartbreaking if something went wrong and she'd already got too attached and started thinking of their baby as a he or a she. The difference of opinions has already caused more than one argument, and they still haven't come to a conclusion either way, so she's not really sure how to answer.

"No, we don't want to know." Surprisingly, it's Logan who speaks up, and Veronica blinks, not expecting that response. "We'd rather keep it a secret for now."

"Really?" Veronica blinks in surprise.

He shoots her a tender smile. "Yes, really."

She swallows against the tears that are about to fall as she says sincerely, "Thank you."

"I'll make a note of that," says the doctor with a smile. "Now, I just need to take some measurements, for the nuchal screening, and also to confirm your due date."

While the doctor is doing what she needs to do, Veronica remains transfixed by the movement of her baby on the monitor. It's really strange to see it moving around, considering she hasn't felt any kind of fluttering at all yet. Apparently it's normal not to feel anything just yet, but it's still surreal to know there's actually a living being growing inside her.

"Okay, Veronica," Dr. Anderson says a couple of minutes later, removing the transducer from Veronica's stomach and handing her a paper towel. "That's everything I need from the ultrasound, so you can clean yourself up."

"Thanks." Veronica wipes her belly clean of the gel and pulls her top back down as she sits up.

While she's still on the exam table, Dr. Anderson prints out a couple of sonogram pictures for them, before performing the blood test, and then they sit down at her desk to discuss the sonogram findings.

"Right then, from the scan, it looks to me like your baby is developing normally, and I can't see any cause for concern right now," she tells them. "We will need to wait for the blood test results to confirm that for sure though."

"Okay," Veronica says.

"And as for your due date, it looks as though my initial thoughts weren't far off," says the doctor. "I make it April 16th next year."

Veronica nods.

"April 16th. Great. I'll make a note of that in my diary." Beside her, Logan gives a chuckle and she turns to him, frowning in bemusement "What?"

He grins, shaking his head. "You sound like you're scheduling a meeting or something, not the birth of your child."

"Shut up," is the only comeback she can think of. Not very original, granted, but she's had about four hours of sleep in the last twenty-four, and she can barely think straight.

Dr. Anderson glances between them, looking amused before turning her attention to Veronica again. "Now that we have all the excitement out of the way, I wanted to check how you're doing, Veronica."

Veronica makes a face. "Honestly? Not too great. I'm sick pretty much all the time lately. Mostly at night."

"Unfortunately, that can be fairly common," admits the doctor. "Morning sickness can come on at any time of the day or night. The good news is that in most women, it stops after about sixteen weeks."

"Now, that is good news," says Veronica. "Because I need a break. I am so exhausted."

Dr. Anderson frowns. "How much sleep are you getting?"

"Not enough," pipes up Logan, causing Veronica to frown at him. "She was in the bathroom most of last night. And the night before."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Veronica," Dr. Anderson says sympathetically. "And how about your diet? Are you eating enough?"

"No, she isn't," Logan cuts in again before she can answer. "She's barely keeping anything down, and she's lost some weight. Is that normal?"

Veronica shoots him a glare this time. Can't he just let her answer the damn questions?

"That can happen in the first trimester," Dr. Anderson admits. "Especially in cases of particularly bad or ongoing morning sickness. How much weight have you lost?"

"Not much," she says, a little defensively. "A couple pounds, maybe."

"Well, that doesn't sound too concerning." The doctor nods reassuringly. "I would only expect you to put on maybe one to four pounds in the first twelve weeks, and a small amount of weight loss isn't going to be too much of a problem. However, if it continues into the second trimester and you're still not putting on any weight, I want you to come back and see me, okay?"

"I will."

"Right then, so I'll give you a call when your blood test results are in, and assuming those are fine, the next time I'll see you will be for your anatomy scan, which we'll do at between eighteen and twenty weeks," the doctor says then. "But please, don't hesitate to contact me if you have any concerns or questions."

"Thanks, Dr. Anderson," says Logan. "We'll make sure to do that."

"Yes, thank you," Veronica adds with a smile.

They shake the doctor's hand and as they leave the office, Logan slides his arm around her shoulders, tugging her close. Veronica gives a tired smile as he presses a kiss to the top of her head.

"I know you feel like crap now," he murmurs. "But it'll all be worth it in the end. I mean, just look at that." He points to the photos in her hand. "That right there is an actual baby. Complete with actual fingers and toes."

"I know," Veronica responds, looking down at the ultrasound picture as well, her chest tightening with both excitement and nervousness. "I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For now, I'm going to stick with updating every 2 weeks, as I have a really busy month coming up in May... so the next update should be May 1st :).


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone :). 
> 
> I usually try to keep one chapter ahead of each update I post, so I wouldn't normally post chapter 15 until chapter 16 was finished, but the last 2 weeks have been busy and exhausting, and I just haven't been in the mood to write... which means I've barely even started on chapter 16 yet :(. 
> 
> I didn't want to leave you in the lurch though, as I'm about to go on vacation for 2 weeks, so, I'm posting chapter 15 today, but it's unlikely I'll get any more of the story written while I'm away (though I'll see what I can do). I'll update as soon as I can but I'm just not sure yet when that will be.

**Early October 2019**

**Thirteen weeks along**

Veronica tries to keep Ava sitting still on her lap in Sarah and Chaos' living room, as Sarah awkwardly sinks down into the comfy armchair in the corner. Her friend is thirty-seven weeks pregnant and has proclaimed herself 'as big as a house', which means she's struggling to get around quickly. Seeing her like this, Veronica's a little worried about how she's going to manage in a few months' time. Her own baby bump is already showing a little more than it was two weeks ago, though for now she can still disguise it under loose tops.

With all the stress and drama of the last few months, not to mention the weeks of morning sickness, and the fact that Sarah's been dealing with her pregnancy as well, they haven't spent a whole lot of time together lately. In fact, this is the first time they've hung out in over a month. Thankfully, though, the morning sickness seems to be mostly over now and she's getting her appetite back again, which means she's feeling up to socialising again.

"So, only three weeks to go," she says, when Sarah's settled, bouncing Ava gently. "How are you feeling?"

"Ugh, well, for starters, the insomnia is a bitch," Sarah says tiredly, rubbing her belly. "And I need to pee  _all_  the time. I keep getting Braxton-Hicks contractions too, so there's this constant worry that I'm actually going into labour each time they happen. I seriously cannot wait to get this kid out of me."

"Sounds, uh, pleasant," says Veronica awkwardly, eyeing Sarah as she thinks,  _God, that's gonna be me in a few months._

Sarah sighs. "Sorry, I'm making it sound like it's a miserable experience, aren't I? It really isn't. I mean, I'm, like, nesting like crazy… my kitchen hasn't been this clean or organised in ages, not since just before I had Ava."

At her name, the little girl wriggles out of Veronica's grasp and slides down to the floor, toddling over to her mom and holding her arms up.

"Momma, up?"

"Sorry, sweetie," Sarah apologises. "Mommy's tummy is too big to lift you today. Why don't you go play with your toys for a bit instead?"

As Ava crosses the room and starts rifling through her toy chest in the corner, Veronica turns back to Sarah again. Several pregnancy-related questions pop into her mind, and she filters through them to work out what to ask without giving away  _why_  she wants to know.

Eventually, when Sarah runs her hand across her stomach again, Veronica goes with, "So, does he move around a lot?"

"Yeah." Sarah nods. "Well, he did until a couple of days ago… but he seems to have calmed down a bit now. Guess there's not much room left in here."

"No, I guess not," murmurs Veronica, eyeing her friend's huge belly. "What does it feel like?"

"Hmm, well, at first, it's just this weird, fluttery sensation, but as they grow, you start to feel actual movements… like, you can tell the difference between kicks and jabs, and sometimes you even see a foot or a hand pressing against your skin."

"Really?" Veronica scrunches her nose up uneasily, unsure she likes the sound of that. "It doesn't hurt, though?"

"Oh, no,' Sarah replies, with a shake of her head. "But it takes your breath away sometimes."

"So, when did you start feeling him and Ava move?"

"Well, with Ava, not until about twenty-two weeks," she says. "But I think that's normal with the first baby. I felt this one much earlier though, I think around twelve weeks."

She stops talking, her eyes narrowing as she studies Veronica thoughtfully for a moment, before her lips tug up into a knowing smile.

"Wait a minute… Veronica, are you pregnant?"

_Oops. Busted._

Veronica gives a sheepish shrug. "Is it that obvious?"

"Well, you've never really seemed all that interested in pregnancy details before," Sarah reasons, "But, you've just developed this sudden interest. Add that to the fact that you've been strangely absent for the last few weeks, and it's not hard to put two and two together."

"Oh." Veronica looks down, her hand coming to her stomach. "Right."

"Congratulations," Sarah tells her with a wide smile. "I'm really happy for you."

Veronica lifts her eyes again, catching Sarah's gaze, her friend's grin infectious. "Thank you."

"How far along are you?"

"Thirteen weeks," Veronica says. "Due mid-April."

"Oh, this is awesome!" Sarah exclaims excitedly, making Veronica jump at the unexpected sound. "Our kids will be the same age."

"Wow… yeah, I guess they will," she says in realisation. "God, I've been so focused on getting through the pregnancy part, that I hadn't really thought about the end result yet."

"It is easy to get caught up in it all," agrees Sarah. "How's it been so far?"

"Honestly? Not great," Veronica admits. "Morning sickness has been a—" She's about to say 'bitch' but then remembers there are young, impressionable ears in the room, and amends it to, Nightmare."

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry." Sarah's tone is filled with sympathy. "How are you feeling now?"

"Well, for a while, I couldn't keep anything down, and I was spending all day in bed… hence being MIA lately…" she explains. "But it's improving now."

"That's good. I remember the morning sickness with Ava—it was not fun," says Sarah. "But now you're moving into the second trimester, you should start feeling a lot better."

"I hope so."

"Listen, if there's anything you want to know, or anything you need, just let me know, okay?" her friend says then. "And, you know, in a few months, I'll have a ton of newborn clothing that I won't need… you're welcome to them if you like."

"Thank you," Veronica says, touched. "That's awesome. I haven't even thought about things like baby clothes yet."

"Oh, believe me, I've been there," Sarah says with a nod. "Like I said, any questions, just ask."

"Thanks." Veronica gives her friend a grateful smile, before relaxing back against the couch cushions, her hand still pressed to her belly. "That would be great."

* * *

"Great work, everyone," Logan announces, finishing up his tactics lecture that afternoon. "See you tomorrow."

As his class files out of the room, he notices Chaos standing just outside the door. He gives his friend a nod and heads over to him when the last of his students has left.

"Hey, man. What's up?"

"Hey." Chaos nods in greeting. "The Commander wants to see you in his office ASAP."

Logan frowns. "You know why?"

Chaos shakes his head. "Nah, man. Not a clue."

"Well, guess I'm about to find out."

Logan locks up the classroom and he and Chaos walks over to the squadron building. He has no idea why his superior would need to see him; as far as he knows, he hasn't done anything wrong or given anyone a reason to make a complaint, plus he's been getting good feedback from his students at the end of their courses.

They reach Commander Sanchez's office and arrange to meet in the crew room afterwards, before Chaos leaves him to it. Logan knocks on the door and enters at Sanchez's command.

"Sir," he greets, standing to attention and giving a salute. "You wanted to see me?"

"Lieutenant Echolls." The Commander, a stocky, middle-aged man with a stern-looking expression, nods in greeting. "At ease. Yes, I did. Please, take a seat."

Logan does as he asks and waits for Sanchez to speak.

"You seem to be settling in well, Lieutenant," he starts. "You've been here, what, six… seven months now?"

"That's correct," Logan confirms. "Since March."

"I've been hearing good things." The Commander gives a smile. "Keep up the good work."

"Thanks."

His superior leans forward, linking his fingers and resting his hands on the desk.

"Look, I know you're only a short way into your shore rotation here at Oceana," he starts, "but as you know, tensions are high in the South China Sea right now, and there's been increasing pressure from the higher-ups to step up our operations in that area."

Logan freezes, the relaxed smile slipping from his face, his blood running cold at the implication of his commanding officer's words.

His tongue darts out to wet his lips as he asks, "And that has to do with me, because…?"

The Commander gives him a sympathetic look as he says, "They're asking for four of my best pilots to fly out to the Vinson and pick up some of the workload."

_Shit._ Logan closes his eyes briefly.  _Not now_.  _They can't do this to me now._

"I'm sorry, Logan," Sanchez says. "But I don't have a choice here."

"When?" he asks, trying not to wince as he thinks about how Veronica's going to react to this.

"Friday."

" _Friday_?" he repeats. That's only four days away. "Seriously?"

"As I said, I'm sorry to have to deploy you on short notice like this, especially during shore duty, but my hands are tied."

Logan nods in resignation. "For how long?"

"Four weeks, six at the most."

_Well, it could be worse_ , he thinks.  _Veronica's only thirteen weeks along, which means I should just be back in time for her next scan._

"Okay." He nods in resigned acceptance. "And it won't be any longer than that?"

"It shouldn't be," Sanchez tells him. "Of course, I can't guarantee anything."

"No, of course," he says. "It's just, my wife's pregnant, and she's been having a hard time lately. She's not going to be happy if I deploy right now."

"I understand, Logan. I do have kids, you know," says the Commander kindly. "And if I could send anyone else, I would, but we're pretty thin on the ground as it is."

"Look, I really need to be back before Thanksgiving," he says, trying not to sound like he's begging. "I have to be home for her anatomy scan."

Cdr Sanchez nods. "I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you, sir." He breathes a sigh of relief.

"I'll have your deployment paperwork ready tomorrow," says the Commander, sitting back in his chair. "Thank you, Lieutenant. You're free to go."

Logan stands, giving another salute before leaving the office, and heading downstairs to find Chaos, who's waiting for him in the crew room.

"Hey, you all right, man?" Chaos asks in concern when he sees Logan's expression. "What did Sanchez say?"

"I'm being deployed," he grinds out. "End of the week. They're sending me out to the Vinson."

"What the fuck?" Chaos curses. "You're on shore rotation."

"Tell me about it," Logan mutters. "I mean, it's only for a few weeks, but this is the worst fucking timing ever."

"Because of the baby?" Chaos says knowingly.

"What?" Logan's head snaps up at that, as he blinks at his friend in surprise. "How did you know about that?"

Chaos gives a smirk. "It was kind of obvious, dude. You've been walking on air for weeks after being so down in the dumps. We've lived in close quarters long enough for me to tell when something's up."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Knew you'd tell me when you were ready." His friend shrugs, then grins as he adds, "And fuck, we're bad ass fighter pilots, Mouth. As much of a drama queen as you are, we don't always have to talk about our feelings."

" _Drama queen_?" Logan's not sure whether to be amused or affronted by that assessment.

"Well, if the shoe fits…" is Chaos' airy response, before he drops the grin and turns back to the topic at hand. "So, how far along is she?"

"Thirteen weeks."

Chaos grins, stepping forward to clap him on the back. "Congratulations, man."

"Thanks." Logan smiles widely, pride welling in his chest.

"I knew it would happen for you guys," says Chaos. "Just a matter of time. How's she doing?"

"She's okay," says Logan. "Terrible morning sickness aside, everything seems to be fine."

"That's good to hear." Chaos nods.

"Yeah." Logan flashes a grin, before sobering. "But now I have to figure out how to tell Veronica I'm leaving."

"I don't envy you that."

"No kidding," Logan agrees, before turning the subject to Chaos. "Speaking of babies, Sarah must be getting close."

"Yep, three weeks left." Chaos grins.

"Wow, that's gone fast. How is she?"

"Honestly? She's swollen and uncomfortable and totally fed up," Chaos admits. "Just wants the damn thing out of her—her words, not mine."

"Wow… sounds like I've got plenty to look forward to," Logan mutters.

"Oh, yeah, it's a hoot." Chaos rolls his eyes, but then breaks into a smile. "But you know, when it's all over and you're a father, it's the best feeling ever. I mean, you have this amazing, tiny baby in your arms and you kind of forget about all the bad parts."

"I hope so," says Logan. "'Cause I have a feeling that after I talk to Veronica tonight, we'll be heading into one of those bad parts real soon."

* * *

Logan arrives home that evening to find Veronica in the kitchen, scooping vanilla ice cream into a bowl.

"Hey," he greets, stepping up to her and leaning down for a kiss as she tilts her chin up to meet him halfway.

"Hey," she says, before turning back to her ice cream and adding a spoonful of peanut butter to the bowl.

"Interesting combination," he comments, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, it's not finished yet," she replies, reaching into the cupboard for a bottle of BBQ sauce and pouring it over the top.

Logan's eyes widen, and he has to force himself not to gag as she digs a spoon in and takes a bite.

"Oh my God, that's disgusting," he tells her, making a face. "How can you eat that?"

"How can I  _not_?" She smiles, collecting another spoonful. "It's delicious."

"If you say so." He eyes the bowl suspiciously. "But remind me not to kiss you again until after you've brushed your teeth."

"Whatever." She tuts. "You're just jealous."

"Of that?" He wrinkles his nose in disgust. "I don't think so."

She takes another large bite, giving an exaggerated moan of pleasure.

"Hey, listen, I have something to tell you…" he starts, resting his hands on the island as he debates how best to phrase the bad news.

"Oh, I do, too," she interrupts. "Sarah knows. She guessed this morning and I had to confess."

"Oh." Logan straightens as he remembers he did the same thing with Chaos a few hours ago. He reaches up to rub the back of his neck as he adds, "Yeah, so I actually have two things to tell you. First off, I told Chaos today as well—completely by accident. Apparently we have intuitive friends, because he'd already figured it out."

"Ah, well… great minds, huh?"

"I guess." He tries for a smile, but it doesn't quite come off, his insides churning with nervousness in anticipation of what he needs to say next.

"So what was the second thing?" she asks, eating another spoonful of her gross ice-cream concoction.

"Yeah…" He starts. "So, um… I got called into the Commander's office today."

"You didn't buzz the tower again, did you?" Veronica teases playfully.

He manages to crack a slight smile, but can't bring himself to come up with a snarky response. Instead, he looks at her seriously and takes a deep breath in preparation.

"Veronica, I have to go away again."

"What?" He tries not to cringe as the smile drops from her face and her brows furrow with confusion.

"They're sending me out to the Vinson," he admits cautiously. "On Friday."

"Friday?" her voice comes out high-pitched as the spoon clatters into the bowl before her. "But… No. They can't. You've still got two years. They can't send you away again."

"Veronica," he says softly, rounding the island. "I'm sorry."

"Fuck sorry!" she spits out. "Tell them they can just fuck off."

"I wish I could, but I don't have a choice," he responds quickly.

She clenches her jaw. "So, how many months this time?"

"Not months." He tries to assure her. "Four weeks, maybe six, tops."

She nods tightly, not saying anything for several long seconds, and Logan braces himself for the inevitable outburst… but it never comes. Instead, her face crumples and her lower lip starts to tremble, and within seconds, there are tears rolling down her cheeks and she's sobbing uncontrollably.

It's so out of character that Logan just stares at her, stunned into silence, his mouth hanging open. It takes a long moment to snap himself out of it and step forward to pull her against him. Her arms wrap around his waist and she buries her face in his chest as she cries large, hiccupping tears.

"I'm so sorry," he says, cradling the back of her head with his palm. "I don't want to go."

"Did you explain about the baby?" she manages between sobs, her voice muffled against his shirt.

"I did." Logan nods. "And he understands, but his hands are tied."

"But you'll miss so much." Her voice is small and timid and Logan's heart goes out to her; it's discomfiting to see her wearing her heart on her sleeve like this when she's usually so conservative with her emotions. "What if you don't make it back for my next scan?"

"I will," he promises. "I told the Commander I had to be back before then. He's gonna see what he can do."

"He'd better."

She sucks in a large breath, her shoulders rising and falling with the movement, before pulling away, wiping her tears away with her sleeves as she takes a step back.

"Sorry," she apologises when she's got herself under control. "I don't know what came over me."

"Veronica, you're eating a bowl of ice cream, peanut butter and BBQ sauce," Logan points out with a smile. "I think an unexplained tearful outburst is pretty much par for the course."

"I guess it is." She looks down at the bowl, and tears seemingly forgotten for now, reaches for the spoon, eagerly swallowing down another mouthful. "God, this is amazing."

"Yeah… right." Logan fights the renewed urge to vomit as he averts his eyes. "So, uh, you okay now?"

"Sure." She nods, giving a noncommittal shrug, scooping up another spoonful of ice cream. "It is what it is. Just come back home to me, okay?"

"Of course," he replies, confused as he tries to keep up with the sudden mood swings. "I'll be home in no time."

* * *

"Logan," Veronica whispers urgently into the darkness of the bedroom late Wednesday night. "Hey… Logan."

When she gets no response, she reaches over and pushes at his bicep. He just makes an incoherent sound and swats her hand away, so she does it again.

"Logan!"

"What?" he grumbles sleepily. "S'middle of the night."

"I need chips. And marshmallow fluff."

"What?" He repeats, running a hand over his face, before squinting at her in the darkness. "Why?"

"Because I'm hungry," she explains with just a hint of exasperation.  _Why else would she need them?_  "And I can't sleep because all I'm thinking about is chips and fluff."

"So, go downstairs and get some," he mumbles, closing his eyes again.

"I can't," she admits. "I ate it all yesterday."

He sighs, reaching over to turn on the bedside lamp, before turning to her again.

"Please?" She juts her lower lip out in a pout and looks at him beseechingly. "I mean, I think it's the least you could do, since you  _are_  abandoning me on Friday."

"Okay, fine," he relents with a sigh. "Enough with the guilt trip; I'll go to the store."

Veronica smiles, her heart swelling with affection for him. "Thank you. You're the best."

"Yeah, whatever," he mutters as he pulls on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. "While I'm at it, anything else you just can't live without at—" he glances at the clock "—almost one in the morning?"

"Ooh…" Veronica's eyes light up as the possibilities run through her mind. "Yeah, chocolate… oh, and hot salsa too."

"Really?" He looks sceptical, though he nods. "Okay. Back soon."

Veronica can hear him grumbling to himself as he shuffles out of the room and heads down the stairs, but she can't bring herself to feel guilty. She's pregnant, she's finally gotten her appetite back, and she's gonna eat whatever and whenever she damn well wants to. And has she mentioned, he's abandoning her in less than two days?

While she waits for him, she lies back against the mattress, her palms resting over her stomach. Even though it's been almost two months since they discovered she was pregnant, some days she still can't quite believe it's happening. Of course, those are the few days where she has no heartburn, cramps, or shortness of breath. At least the constant nausea has faded though; that's a definite plus.

After what seems like hours but is really only about twenty minutes, Logan finally returns home and dumps a grocery store bag down beside her on the bed.

"Your sustenance, ma'am. As requested."

"Oh my God, thank you so much," she says in a rush, reaching out to catch hold of Logan's shirt, tugging him down for a kiss. "I love you."

"Yeah, yeah," he dismisses with a half-smile. "Me, too."

As she enthusiastically rummages through the bag, Logan strips back down to his boxers and slides into the bed. She opens the bag of chili potato chips and unscrews the tub of marshmallow fluff, and then proceeds to dip a chip into the fluff, bringing it to her mouth.

"God, this is so good," she mumbles between bites.

Beside her, Logan makes a face. "I seriously don't know how you can eat that."

"It's delicious." She dips another chip and holds it out to him. "Here, try it."

He raises an eyebrow, scrunching up his nose. "I don't think so."

"Aw, spoilsport." She pouts at him, before giving a shrug and bringing the chip to her lips. "Never mind, more for me."

"Well, while you have fun with your weird cravings," he says then, settling down against the pillows, "I'm going back to sleep."

"You are?" she says innocently. "'Cause when I've finished this, I was gonna thank you for running to the store for me, but, you know, if you're too tired…"

"Hmm." He considers that for a moment, one side of his mouth tugging up into a smirk. "Well, I suppose I  _could_  stay awake a little longer."

She grins, wiggling her eyebrows. "Good choice."

* * *

Friday morning dawns bright and early—too bright and early for Veronica, who has taken to sleeping until mid-morning lately, but Logan's leaving in a couple of hours and she wants to make the most of this time with him. Which is why, instead of letting him get up when his alarm sounds, she stops him with a hand to his chest and straddles his hips.

"Where do you think you're going, Lieutenant?" She looks down at him sternly.

"Nowhere, apparently." He grins lazily up at her as his hands slide beneath the hem of her shirt.

"That's right," she agrees. "You're staying right here."

His hands slide up, his palms flattening over her belly before moving up to cup her breasts. Veronica smiles as he gives them a gentle squeeze; Logan's certainly been enjoying the fact that her assets have become more enhanced of late. Of course, he only gets to experience the benefits of that, while she's the one dealing with the soreness, tenderness and itchiness.

His palms slide around to her back as she leans over to the nightstand, reaching for the bottle of mouth freshener Logan keeps there and giving a good spray before holding it out to him. Don't want to spoil the moment with morning breath.

"Hmm, that's better," she murmurs, feeling minty-fresh, as she lowers her upper body and captures his mouth in an eager kiss.

His fingers dance up and down her back and Veronica shudders, her hips involuntarily grinding into his, arousal building quickly as she resists the urge to moan. Along with her increased appetite lately, she's also been feeling horny as hell… which is another reason why she's pissed that Logan's leaving again, because she has no idea how she's gonna get through the next four weeks (and please don't let it be longer than that) without sex.

"You know what I want right now?" she murmurs against his mouth, her body thrumming with unbridled lust.

"Deep-fried pickles?" Logan suggests, breaking the kiss, his breathing laboured.

She smiles wickedly. "I want you to fuck me so hard I forget my own name."

He just stares at her for a moment, his mouth falling open, like he can't decide what to do with that statement, before a slow, leering grin spreads across his face and she feels him harden even more. His hands slide into her underwear, cupping her butt cheeks as he rocks his hips so his length brushes her clit through the fabric.

"Now that's a pregnancy craving I can get behind."

* * *

It takes all of Logan's willpower to leave Veronica drifting off to sleep again so he can get ready to leave. He wants nothing more than to get back into bed with her and stay there forever, but duty calls and he has to be on a plane to Japan in a few hours. He smiles to himself as he steps into the shower, noting the faint scratches on his chest. Who knew pregnancy would turn Veronica into such a sex fiend? Now that the worst of the morning sickness is over and she's feeling better, it's like she can't get enough of him.

Not that he's complaining, of course; it's awesome to see her embracing her sexuality; to see that light back in her eyes again. He hates to admit it, but the light was missing for quite a while, since they moved to Virginia. He knew she wasn't happy about moving, knew she was making a big sacrifice by coming with him, but she told him she was okay, and he chose to believe it; because, really, what was the alternative? Long distance again, with her in California and him out here? That would have been even worse.

He's in the middle of rinsing the shampoo from his hair when Veronica slips into the shower behind him. A grin spreads across his face as her arms come around his waist and her bare chest comes into contact with his back.

"How are you not fast asleep right now?" he asks. "You've gotta be exhausted after that performance."

Her warm cheek presses against his back and her fingers start walking down his stomach, following the trail of hair there. He feels a stirring in his groin and gives a small shake of his head.

_So much for being exhausted, huh, Echolls?_

"I'm not gonna see you for a month," she says softly, as her fingers wrap around his rapidly growing erection. "We have to savour these final moments together."

" _Final moments?_ " he echoes, lowering his head and bracing his hands on the shower wall as she begins stroking him. "Geez, dramatic much?"

"Oh, just shut up and enjoy it," she chastises, though he can hear the smile in her tone.

"Yes, ma'am," he agrees quickly, his stomach muscles contracting as her thumb brushes across his sensitive skin.

She starts working her magic on him, pressing soft kisses to his back as her hand movements quicken, but when he feels the tell-tale tightening in his lower body, he reaches down to stop her.

"You keep doing that." His voice is strained. "And this'll be over before it starts."

"You let me worry about that," she says playfully, releasing him as she slips under his arm so she's sandwiched between himself and the shower wall. She grins up at him. "Think of this as your going-away present."

Logan can only watch from under hooded eyes as she drops to her knees in the small space. She wraps one hand around him, leaning forward and taking him in her mouth. His eyes slide closed, one hand tenderly cupping the back of her head as the other remains braced against the wall. As his climax builds, all the love and adoration he has for her spreads through him, accompanied by no small amount of sadness and disappointment because he'll be leaving soon. He's going to miss at least a month of Veronica's pregnancy, of his baby's development, and he hates to think about it. He quickly pushes down the negative emotions though, since they have no place in this moment, and focuses only on the euphoric sensations Veronica's mouth is creating as they build inside him and eventually spill over.

As he struggles to catch his breath, his forehead resting on his forearm against the wall, Veronica kisses her way up his body until she's standing upright. Logan smiles lazily, his arm snaking around her waist and tugging her up so he can kiss her.

"So… your turn?" he asks when they part.

She smiles affectionately, though there's a definite glint in her eye. "Oh, I think I more than got my turn back in the bedroom. This was for you."

Logan returns the smile, affection for her welling up in his chest. "I love you."

She nods, but doesn't speak, and he can see the exact moment her emotions take a nosedive. Her playful expression turns serious and she visibly swallows.

"I don't want you to go," she murmurs softly, wrapping her arms around his waist. "I hate that you won't be here for everything. A lot can happen in a month; Sarah's gonna have the baby… and, I mean… I'm gonna look different by then."

"I know." He nods. "I don't want to miss any of it either. I wish I didn't have to go."

"Why is it so important that you do?" she asks, looking up at him inquisitively.

He shrugs, shaking his head. "I can't say much, but you've seen the news; there's a lot going on in that part of the world right now, and the current manpower on the Vinson isn't enough. The Commander's been ordered to send his best men in…and, well—"

"Ah, so you're one of the best, huh?" Her expression is a little more understanding now. "Guess there have to be some disadvantages to go along with the perks of that job, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Look, I get it; I do," she says sincerely. "And it sucks, but we'll survive. We've gotten through worse before."

"We have," he confirms.

Veronica gives a small sigh, before saying lightly, "Just come back to me, safe and sound, ya hear?"

"I will." He nods, looking down at her thoughtfully. "Listen, since I won't be here, why don't you go back to Neptune for a while? I'm sure everyone's dying to see you."

She considers that for a moment, before a smile spreads across her face. "Yeah… maybe I will."


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major apologies for such a long wait between chapters. I started writing this one way back in April, but then I was busy pretty much all of May, with going on vacation and then getting sick halfway through it, plus trying to get a couple of short stories written for the VMHQ 1.5K Challenge. As a result, I didn't get back to writing this story until last week.
> 
> Thanks for your patience :).

**Mid-October 2019**

**Fourteen Weeks Along**

Veronica steps out onto the sundeck of the beach house in Neptune and perches on the edge of a sun lounger, soaking up the warm, Monday morning sun. Bringing the coffee mug to her lips, she savours every sip of the limited amount of caffeine she's allowed to drink now, as she takes in the expanse of ocean before her. She's missed this view. Sure, they live near the beach in Virginia, but it's not the same… SoCal beaches are all sun and sand and palm trees, whereas East Coast beaches have a more rugged, countryside feel to them.

She's glad she took Logan's suggestion to come back to Neptune, because even though it's meant leaving Pony with Nick and Amy for a few weeks, and possibly missing Sarah's new arrival at the end of the month, it's a big relief to be home again.

"Hey."

Mac's voice sounds from behind her, and Veronica turns to see her friend slipping through the door as well, before taking a seat beside her on the lounger.

"Morning," she greets with a nod.

"You okay?" asks Mac.

"Yeah," she says, looking down at her coffee. "I'm glad to be home."

Mac smiles. "We're glad you're home, too."

"Yeah…" Veronica gives a shrug.

"You miss him, huh?"

She raises an eyebrow, glancing at her friend with a wry smile. "It's that obvious?"

"Well…"

"It's just… really bad timing," Veronica says, bringing the mug to her lips and taking a sip. "I don't want him to miss anything."

"He'll be back in no time," Mac says reassuringly. "It's only for a few weeks."

"Yeah, I know," she agrees, "And I guess it does mean I get to spend time in Neptune."

"See, there's still a positive side," Mac shifts closer, giving her a nudge. "And don't worry, we'll keep you suitably distracted."

Veronica smiles. "Thanks, Q."

* * *

Veronica makes it to eleven-thirty before she gives up on lazing around the house; she has to get out and actually  _do_  something. She's spent the last few weeks barely managing to do anything at all and the five months before that trying desperately to get a grasp on what she wants to do with her life in Virginia, with little success. Now she's in Neptune though, she feels pretty good and she's itching to get back to the life she knows.

She grabs the keys to Logan's BMW, which Dick dropped off at the house yesterday, and heads into town. Picking up some sandwiches from the local deli, she pulls up outside the Mars Investigations office just after twelve.

Entering the building, she announces her presence with a smile and a cheerful, "I have sustenance."

"Ooh." Mac's eyes light up. "Sandwiches."

"Hey, Dad," she calls in the direction of his closed office door. "You want food?"

"Oh, he's not here," says Mac. "He's down at the Sheriff's department."

"Really?" Veronica raises a speculative eyebrow. "Business or pleasure?"

"Something about a bail jumper, I think," says Mac. "But there was an implied 'I'll be back after lunch' in there too."

"Ah, well." Veronica shrugs, placing the deli bag down on Mac's desk and pulling out the food, and then grabs a sandwich and takes a seat. "More for us, then. After all, I'm eating for two now."

Mac shoots her a grin as she reaches for her own sandwich. "That you are."

They share a relaxed lunch, punctuated by small talk about what's been going on in their lives lately, though Veronica can sense Mac's holding back about something.

"Come on, Q, spill," she says eventually. "You obviously have something you want to say."

"It's nothing, really." Mac shakes her head. "It's just, what are you doing here, V? You don't work here anymore."

"I know."

"You should be relaxing, taking it easy."

Veronica shakes her head, sitting forward in her chair and placing the remains of her sandwich back on the desk.

"But that's just it, Mac… it feels like all I do these days is 'relax' and 'take it easy'… while Logan goes out and earns our money. I can do things for myself, you know; I'm not some kept housewife."

Mac frowns. "I didn't say you were."

"I can't just sit around twiddling my thumbs while I'm here. I need to do  _something_. I need to keep busy." She looks at her friend beseechingly. "You know how I hate having nothing to do."

"Okay, I get it." Mac holds up her hands in surrender. "Enough with the guilt trip already." She reaches across her desk and picks up a folder, holding it out to Veronica. "Here, take a look at this one."

"Thanks." Veronica takes it gratefully.

She opens the file and flips through it. Seems like a pretty standard Neptune case: a well-to-do 09er couple want Mars Investigations to look into their future daughter-in-law because they're worried she's after their money.

As ideas for getting started begin to form in her mind, Veronica feels the familiar rush of adrenaline and excitement she always used to get from working cases. She's missed it. A lot. Sure, she was helping out remotely with her father's casework before she got pregnant, but it wasn't the same; she was working just behind the scenes, on the other side of the country. She wasn't doing the  _real_  work.

She sighs, leaning back in her seat and closing the file.

"You okay?" asks Mac, for the second time today.

"Not really," Veronica admits. "I don't think I can do it anymore."

"Do what?" Her friend looks alarmed as her gaze drops to Veronica's stomach.

"Oh, God, no, not that." Veronica's quick to assure her, hand cupping her belly protectively. "This kid ain't going nowhere… not if I can help it."

"Thank God." Mac looks relieved. "For a moment, I was worried I was gonna have to send an urgent email to Logan."

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," she apologises. "It's just… being back here, in the office, it feels right.  _This_  is where I'm meant to be: here in Neptune, working cases, being with my family and friends."

"I know." Mac nods in understanding. "But I thought things were getting better for you in Virginia?"

"They are," she says, "but something's missing in my life there. I don't feel like myself anymore, Mac. I feel like I'm in limbo, just going through the motions until we can come home and I can start living my life again."

"I'm sorry," Mac says softly. "I get that it's not what you really want, but you have done it before... I mean, you were away from Neptune for nine years, and you were okay."

"But, that was different," Veronica counters. "Back then, I  _chose_  to leave; I  _wanted_  to get out of Neptune and start a new life for myself. I was trying to get away from everything this town represented for me." She shakes her head, placing the closed file down on Mac's desk. "But a lot has changed since then, and I don't want that anymore."

"It's only for two more years, though," reasons Mac. "I mean, what's a couple years in the grand scheme of things? You can spend the rest of your lives in Neptune after that."

"Yeah, that's what I've been telling myself," Veronica admits. "But is it worth it if I'm miserable?"

Mac leans forward, looking concerned. "You're miserable?"

Veronica shrugs, looking away for a moment as she collects her thoughts.

"I don't know, it's just..." She shakes her head, as the floodgates open and everything starts spilling out. "It's not just work, Mac; it's everything. I don't want to have my baby in Virginia, I want to have it here, in Neptune." She sucks in a deep breath. "I want to be close to my dad, and you and Wallace. I want to live in our house again, and be able to see you all whenever I like. I have a whole support system here, but in Virginia, it's just me and Logan, and as amazing as he is, he can't be around all the time."

"But, Veronica, you can't have the baby here… right?" says Mac softly. "I mean, Logan can't leave Virginia, and you wouldn't want to come back here without him. I can't imagine he would want that either."

"No, I wouldn't, and neither would he. Of course, it wouldn't work." Veronica gives a frustrated sigh. "But I don't know what to do. I mean, what if we can't move back here at all? Who's to say Logan won't get transferred somewhere else after this? Fuck, what if he gets stationed in, like Japan or somewhere?"

"Japan?" Mac's eyes widen. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, seriously." She raises her eyebrows in a 'can you believe it?' gesture. "Back when he first deployed after I came back to Neptune, I told him in an email that I'd never been to Japan and he said there was a base there and maybe we'd be able to go someday."

"Wow… I hadn't even thought of that possibility."

"Yeah, me neither," Veronica replies. "Or at least, I tried not to."

"Have you told Logan all of this?"

"Not really," Veronica admits. "I mean, he knows I haven't been happy in Virginia, but that was before we found out about the baby… and then with everything going on, all the morning sickness and doctor's appointments—"

"I get it." Mac nods in understanding. "Look, I know there's not much you can do right now, but when he gets back, you need to talk to him. Explain how you're feeling, see if you can figure something out together."

"Yeah," Veronica agrees. "I will. I'll talk to him."

"Good." Mac smiles encouragingly.

"Yeah." She returns the smile.

"But that's a few weeks away, and right now, you're here, so let's make the most of it, shall we?" Mac waves a hand toward the case file on her desk. "You know what, have at it with that case. Do whatever you need to do to feel more like yourself again."

"Thanks, Q," Veronica says gratefully, both relieved that she's been able to get some of this off her chest and also hopeful that maybe she and Logan can find some kind of solution to what feels like an impossible situation.

She reaches for the file again, and starts scanning through it, fresh ideas for how to solve the case running through her mind.

"But be careful, okay?" warns Mac. "I don't want to be the one to have to tell Logan you've once again got yourself into a sticky situation. Especially not when you're pregnant with his kid."

"Of course I'll be careful." Veronica tries not to roll her eyes as she injects as much innocence into the words as she can. "I'm always careful."

"Whatever you say, Bond."

* * *

**Late October 2019**

**Fifteen weeks along**

"You wouldn't believe the nerve of this guy, Lo!" Veronica exclaims through Skype the next Tuesday and Logan can't help smiling at the incensed look on her face as she sits cross-legged on the bed in their beach house. "I mean, for God's sake, why is it that men always seem to think we owe them the world?"

"Don't ask me." He holds his hands up in surrender. "I'd like to stay in your good books."

She stops mid-rant, her expression softening. "Sorry, didn't mean you."

"No, 'course not." He nods, still smiling. "So, you're good? Sounds like you're having fun in Neptune."

"I'm good," she says, smoothing a hand over her growing stomach. " _We're_  good."

Logan's eyes follow the movement and his heart gives a small skip in his chest. His baby is in that stomach.

"I'm glad. How're you feeling?"

She nods. "I'm okay… apart from the heartburn, shortness of breath, oh, and the nosebleeds. Two so far."

"Nosebleeds?" Logan looks concerned. "Is that supposed to happen?"

"Apparently, it's pretty normal," she says. "Something to do with increased bloodflow, I think."

"But apart from that, you're okay?"

"I am," she says, with a nod, though her expression seems a little guarded. Before Logan can question it, she changes the subject. "I definitely can't hide the fact that I'm pregnant now though… my clothes barely even fit anymore."

"You look amazing." Logan smiles tenderly, before gesturing to his face. "You have this—I don't know—this glow."

"I have a glow?" she asks, looking sceptical. "I think that's your bad internet connection playing tricks on you, because all I see is oily skin."

"I'm serious, Veronica." He gives a soft chuckle. "You look happy and healthy, and, you know, totally gorgeous."

"Go on…" She grins, preening for the camera.

"I miss you," he says then, turning serious.

"Me too," she agrees. "Kinda like crazy."

"I'll be home soon," he assures her. "I have it on good authority that I will be back in the next three weeks."

"You'd better be, Lieutenant." She points a finger at the screen, looking at him sternly as he lifts his coffee mug to his lips. "Because I'm horny as hell right now and my vibrator just isn't cutting it."

Logan almost spits out his mouthful of coffee at that, as he glances around the thankfully empty computer room. "Veronica!"

"Sorry," she says, though she looks completely unrepentant. "It's not my fault that increased sex drive is a symptom of pregnancy, or that you're not here and I have to improvise."

"Geez," Logan mutters in a strangled tone as he wills his body not to react to the thought of Veronica doing… that while he's away. He shifts uncomfortably in his chair. "Can we talk about something else?"

"Sure." She gives an innocent smile. "So… how's the flying going? Getting good  _thrust_  action in your plane?"

"Stop it."

"Oh, I'm sorry…" she responds, again looking anything but. "Are you not allowed to talk about that? Don't tell me: the engine power and stamina discussions are reserved for your secret mission briefings. Ooh, do you all sit around and compare the speed of your…  _jets_?"

"Okay, that's it. I'm hanging up now," he declares quickly, moving the mouse to the 'end call' button, index finger hovering above it.

"Hey, no… don't go," she protests quickly, adding in a pout for effect. "We still have ten minutes. No more innuendo, I promise."

"If you say so…" he replies sceptically.

"Cross my heart." She motions across her torso. "Seriously, what've you been up to?"

He studies her suspiciously for a moment, before relaxing and starting to tell her as much as he can about life on the Vinson. When their time is up, they say their goodbyes and as he closes Skype on the computer, the smile drops from Logan's face. Veronica seems so much happier tonight than he's seen her in a long time—she had a glow about her today that he doesn't think is just due to the pregnancy. She's happy there, in Neptune; she's back in her element, and it's obvious that being back home has lifted her spirits.

Problem is, he'll be home in a few weeks, and then it's back to Virginia Beach again. If he's honest, he's dreading it. In the past, whenever he was stationed somewhere new, he just put his head down and got on with it. It was just part of being in the Navy; he'd chosen it, and he was gonna make the most of it. But it's different now; because of Veronica… because they're putting down roots and starting a family. He used to be a free spirit, happy to go wherever they sent him, but not anymore. He's not happy at Oceana either, not really. He grins and bears it because that's the job and because he loves what he does, but if it were up to him, he and Veronica would leave the East Coast behind and go back home to Neptune.

He sighs, pushing back his chair and standing to leave the room. It feels like they're in an impossible situation. He doesn't want to live in Virginia any more than Veronica does, but he can't leave… which means neither will she.

* * *

**Beginning November 2019**

**Sixteen Weeks Along**

"Ugh," Veronica groans, burying her face in her pillow as the ping of a message on her phone rouses her from sleep. "Go away."

The phone pings again, and then again, and she can't ignore it anymore.

"Geez, let a girl sleep, why don't you?" she grumbles, pushing her hair back from her face and lifting herself up onto one elbow so she can reach for the phone.

She's about to turn it to silent mode when she catches sight of the message.

It's from Chaos.

She sits up immediately, wide awake now as she scans the words on the screen.

-  _Healthy baby boy arrived at 4:08 EST this morning. 7 lbs, 6 oz. Mom and baby both doing well. Name to be decided. Photos to follow – Tim_

"Awesome." Veronica says to herself, smiling widely. "Congratulations, guys."

She scrolls down to the next two messages, which are two photos: one is of an exhausted-looking Sarah in a hospital gown, cradling a tiny bundle against her chest, and the second is a close up of the new baby—admittedly, it's not the cutest baby photo, given that the poor boy is all pink and wrinkly and his eyes are squeezed shut, but even so, the photo sends a pang of both longing and affection through Veronica's chest.

-  _He's adorable! Congratulations to both of you. Let me know when you've chosen a name. Can't wait to meet him. V._

She sends off the response, then frowns when her the phone pings twice more within a couple of seconds.  _No way could Chaos have replied that quickly_ , she thinks, scanning the messages.

-  _Congratulations, Sarah and Tim. Let us know when you're ready for visitors._

-  _So awesome, guys! Hey, if you're still trying to think of names, what about Joseph after Grandpa?_

"What the—?" Before she can get any further into that thought, Veronica glances at the top of the screen and realises she's part of a group message with about 30 other participants. "Ah, that explains it."

Placing the phone back down on the nightstand, she eases herself out of the bed and stands, rubbing her aching lower back with one hand as she rests the other just above her stomach. She's really started to show in the last couple of weeks, and she's definitely feeling the difference now.

Shuffling into the bathroom, she uses the toilet, then turns the shower on. Her gaze drops to the scales on the floor and she sighs as she reluctantly steps onto them. Two pounds up since last week; that's a gain of six pounds overall, not counting the couple of pounds she lost back in September with all the morning sickness.

"Ugh," she says again, stepping off the scales and into the shower.

Okay, yeah, it's not that much weight in the grand scheme of things, but on her small frame, it certainly feels like it.

Veronica takes her time in the shower, letting the warm water sooth her stiff muscles as she tries to wake up properly. In the last few days, she's finally started to catch up on the sleep that has been eluding her for the last few weeks, and even though she has more energy now, she's even less of a morning person than she used to be.

For a moment, as she rinses shampoo from her hair, she allows herself to think of Logan and what he might be doing right now. She hasn't heard from him in a few days, but she's been trying hard not to worry too much, because, really, what good will it do? He'll be home soon, and she has both her health and the baby's health to think about now.

Finishing up in the shower, she gets dressed and ready for the day, then heads into the kitchen, where Mac is fixing a weird-looking tofu omelette for breakfast.

"Morning," her friend chirps, sounding way too perky for eight-thirty on a Friday morning. "Sleep well?"

"I did." Veronica nods, unlocking her phone screen to find a further ten messages have appeared. "Until I got woken up by about a thousand messages."

"How come?"

"Sarah had the baby last night. It's a boy." She grins, scrolling to the baby photos again and holding the phone out to Mac. "Here, take a look."

"Oh, wow!" Mac exclaims. "He's so cute. You mind if I send a message back?"

"Go ahead."

As Mac types her congratulations, Veronica makes herself a healthy breakfast of fruit and oatmeal, then pours a mug of instant coffee, even as she gazes longingly at the fancy coffee machine in the corner. She's had to force herself to drink instant over filter coffee, to cut down on her daily caffeine intake.

After breakfast, they head into Mars Investigations, where Veronica has pretty much taken up residence since she got back, to find Keith already working hard.

"Morning, Dad," she greets as she heads past his office.

"Morning," he returns distractedly, squinting at something on his computer screen.

She walks into her own office and gets settled at her desk, placing her phone down beside the keyboard as she starts up the computer. She's mostly been doing background checks and internet-based research for the last couple of weeks, since her father isn't keen on her working in the field while she's here. He says it's because she doesn't work here anymore and she should just consider this time a vacation, but she thinks the real reason is because he's worried she'll wear herself out by taking on too much. It's been a struggle not to go out on a sneaky stake-out or two, but she knows her father is just looking out for her, so she's playing the dutiful daughter and adhering to his wishes.

Veronica tries to concentrate on the cases, she really does, but the constant arrival of new messages to her phone starts to gets on her nerves, and after about half an hour of it, she lets out a grumble of frustration and turns off the phone, placing it face-down on the desk with a little more force than necessary.

"Everything okay in here?" asks Keith from the doorway. "Your phone's been buzzing away this morning."

"They're messages of congratulations," she tells him. "Sarah had her baby last night and Chaos sent out this massive group text. I've been getting message alerts all morning."

"That's wonderful news." He breaks out in a grin. "I can't remember: were they having a boy or a girl?"

"A boy," she tells him. "Seven pounds, six ounces. No name yet."

"Well, give them my congratulations."

"I will," she says, resting her hand on her bump. "You know, I'm glad there are only a handful of people I'll need to tell when this one's born, because this whole group text thing is just annoying."

Keith looks thoughtful for a moment, as he leans against the doorframe.

"You know," he says eventually. "Maybe I should come out to Virginia next year, so I'll be there when you have the baby. It would save you sending one of those few text messages."

Veronica feels a tug in her chest at the thought of having him there with her when the baby's born, but she quickly pushes it down as she shakes her head. "No, Dad, I can't ask you to do that. What about work?"

His eyebrows rise in surprise as his lips curl up in an incredulous smile. "Veronica, do you really think I would choose work over my first grandchild being born?"

"Well, no…" She shrugs sheepishly. "But honestly, I wish you wouldn't have to come to Virginia at all. I'd rather have the baby here in Neptune… that way everyone would be here."

"Yeah, that  _would_  be nice," admits Keith. "In an ideal world, of course."

"Yeah…" Veronica nods. "In an ideal world."

With a sigh, she glances over at the photo of her and Logan that she'd printed and stuck to the corner of her computer monitor last week.

_Why'd you have to go and join the Navy, huh, Echolls? You couldn't have just chosen a nice, normal,_ local _career instead?_

* * *

Logan's glad for a morning off as he takes a seat in one of the ship's computer rooms a few hours later. It's Saturday morning on the ship and he's been busy all week with mission planning and flying, which means he's barely had any time to breathe, let alone check his emails or talk to Veronica. At least the CO has told him he'll be leaving the ship in ten days, thank God.  _Let's just hope it actually happens when they say it will._

He logs on to his emails to find two from Veronica, one from Chaos, and one from a buddy of his in the Fleet Readiness Center at North Island. Smiling, he clicks on Chaos' email, entitled IT'S A BOY!, and the smile stretches into a grin as he reads the text, then scrolls down to see the attached pictures of Chaos' new son. As happy as he is for his friends, he can't help the curl of excitement he feels as he thinks about the fact that in a few months' time, it's going to be him sending out the birth announcements. He sends Chaos a congratulatory reply, then checks the emails from Veronica.

The first is a chatty message from Monday about what she's been up to with Wallace and Mac over the weekend , and the second is just a few hours old, asking if he's heard the baby news yet, and attaching the same two photos he received from Chaos. He composes a reply, apologising for the radio silence, saying that, yes, he's heard about the baby, and asking if they've decided on a name yet. He doesn't mention when he'll be home though, because knowing the Navy, the date may still change. He'll wait until he receives the official orders before he passes on the news.

He clicks on the last email from Briggs at North Island with curiosity. He hasn't had much contact with the guys from the Readiness Center in the last few months, so it's a bit of a surprise to get an email from one of them now.

_Hey man,_

_How's it going? Bored at Oceana yet? Not the same without you and Chaos here, man. We need some young blood around to keep the rest of the crew in line. So, anyway, the base is buzzing with the news that they're planning on opening a new F/A-18 training unit here at North Island. Don't know anything official yet, but thought you might be interested. I know you said you and Veronica wanted to stay in Neptune – maybe there's an opportunity here?_

_Don't be a stranger,_

_Briggs_

Logan sits back in his chair as his eyes scan the email again. Has he read that right? They're bringing fast jet training units back to San Diego? He scrunches his nose up in thought. Maybe it's just a rumour… 'cause surely he would have heard something about it already... right?

On the other hand, if it  _is_  true… this could open up a world of possibilities. Not only has he been stationed at North Island, but he's also completed the SFTI program,  _and_  he's a current tactics instructor at Oceana. Maybe he could ask to be transferred to the new unit from Virginia… help set it up, perhaps. Commander Sanchez already released him from Oceana for this deployment… what are the chances he'll agree to a transfer to the West Coast?

Mind racing with possible ideas, Logan sends an email back to Briggs, thanking him for the information and letting him know he's certainly interested in the possibility of transferring to North Island, if he can. As he hits 'send', then opens Skype to see if Veronica's online, he decides to ask around on the ship, see if anyone knows anything about this new development at North Island.

* * *

**Early November 2019**

**Seventeen Weeks Along**

"So, you'll be back Tuesday?" asks Veronica over Skype on Thursday night, which is Friday morning for Logan.

Through the screen, Logan shakes his head. "No, I leave the ship Tuesday. They'll fly me to the naval base in Japan and then I'll take a commercial flight back from Tokyo on Wednesday."

"Right, okay." She nods in understanding, shifting in the dining room chair as she tries to get more comfortable. "So, if I fly back to Norfolk, say, Monday, I can be there when you get back."

"Actually," he says, looking a little guilty. "I'll be flying into L.A., not Norfolk."

"L.A.?" She frowns, confused. "How come?"

"I have to make a trip down to North Island," he says. "And I figured since you're in Neptune, I could meet you there and then we can fly back to Virginia next weekend."

"Yeah? Okay." She smiles at the thought of seeing him again in a few days. "So, what do you need to do at North Island?"

"Just Navy stuff, you know how it is," he says. "Got some paperwork to sort out, and I'd like to catch up with the guys at the Readiness Center."

"Okay, so no booking flights back to Virginia just yet, then." She nods, then stretches, grimacing in discomfort as she rubs at a spot just above her stomach.

"You okay?" Logan frowns at her through the screen. "Nothing's wrong with the baby?"

"No, nothing's wrong," she assures him. "Guess I shouldn't have had those tacos for dinner, 'cause I have really bad heartburn now. They were so good though…"

"I'm sorry." He shoots her a sympathetic smile. "You have something for it?"

"Yeah, a stockpile of antacids and ginger."

"How's everything going, though?" he asks then. "Have you felt it move yet?"

Veronica shakes her head. "No, not yet. Apparently with the first one, it can take a while. According to the books, I might not feel anything until twenty-five weeks."

"Really? That late?" Logan looks surprised.

"I guess," she says. "I mean, Sarah said she didn't feel Ava until she was about twenty-two weeks."

"Oh, speaking of," says Logan. "How is Sarah? And the baby?"

"They're good, I think." Veronica nods. "I called a couple of days ago, but she was exhausted, so we couldn't talk for long. Sounds like everyone's doing well though. Did Chaos tell you the name they decided on?"

"Yeah." Logan smiles. "Mason. Good name."

"It is."

"You know, we should probably start thinking about names soon," he says then.

"Yeah, we should." Veronica feels a small thrill run through her at the thought. This baby is starting to feel more and more real by the day. "You have any preferences?"

Logan gives a wince. "Uh… not really?"

"Right. Okay. Good start."

"How about you?"

"Oh, uh… well, I didn't want to jinx anything, just in case… so…"

"Seriously?" Logan chuckles. "And you're rolling your eyes at  _me_  for not having any ideas yet?"

"Yeah, yeah, rub it in. You know what, at least _I_  can blame pregnancy brain." She purses her lips at him in fake annoyance. "Okay, I propose we both do some brainstorming and share our ideas when you get back next week."

"Sounds like a plan," he agrees, before glancing at something behind him. "Shit, time's up. I gotta go. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'm gonna head to bed in a minute anyway," says Veronica. "See you soon, okay?"

"Count on it." Logan grins. "Love you."

"Love you, too."


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and for your lovely comments :). Here's the next chapter...

**Chapter Seventeen**

**Mid-November 2019**

**Eighteen Weeks Along**

It's Wednesday afternoon and Veronica waits impatiently in the arrivals area at LAX for Logan to appear, but despite his plane landing thirty minutes ago, there's no sign of him yet. He hasn't even been away for five weeks, but with all the changes she's gone through in that time, it feels like a lot longer. When he left in October, unless she was wearing tight clothes, her pregnancy was barely noticeable, but in the last couple of weeks, it feels like she's ballooned. Mac has assured her she's not that big and that she's worrying too much, but Veronica can't help but be all-too-conscious of her rapidly-expanding waistline.

Pulling out her phone, she checks it for messages, then opens her emails, just in case. There's a new email from Nick, asking if Logan has made it home safely and wanting to know when they'll be back in Virginia so he can return Pony to her rightful owner. She's about to type a reply, when a pair of arms slide around her from behind and Logan's voice sounds in her ear.

"What'ya doing?"

"Jesus, Logan!" she exclaims in alarm, almost dropping her phone as she spins around in his arms. "You can't do that to a pregnant woman! You don't know what might happen."

"Sorry," he says, though he sounds completely unrepentant, his eyes shining with humour.

She narrows her eyes at him, shaking her head, before breaking into a wide smile as she rises up and wraps her arms around his neck, hugging him tight. His arms tighten around her in return and he buries his nose against her shoulder.

"Welcome home," she says softly.

Logan's head lifts and he looks down at her for a moment before closing the gap between them and capturing her lips in a hungry kiss… one Veronica returns with just as much fervour. When they part, Logan smiles at her tenderly, before pulling back to stare at her stomach.

"Whoa," he murmurs in awe, one hand sliding around and coming to rest on her rounded belly.

Veronica lowers her arms and drops her gaze to his hand, frowning when she feels a small fluttering in her stomach. Experimentally, she closes her hand over his and slides it a little lower. Sure enough, she feels another fluttering beneath the touch, and her eyes widen as she looks back up at him.

"I think I just felt the baby move," she murmurs faintly.

"Really?" Logan looks surprised. "Are you sure?"

"Well, not entirely," she admits. "It could just be gas, or maybe hunger pangs… but I felt it when I moved your hand here." She moves his palm back up to the original spot again. "And when it was here too."

"Wow."

"Yeah…"

Logan's expression is one of both wonder and curiosity. "What does it feel like?"

Veronica scrunches up her face in thought. "It's hard to describe; kind of like bubbles, maybe? Which is why it might have just been gas."

"Well, I'm choosing to think it was the baby recognising her daddy," he says decisively.

"Her?" Veronica raises a surprised eyebrow. "You think it's a girl?"

"Oh, uh…" Logan blinks. "No, that was just… it just came out. Sorry."

"Don't apologise," she says. "Just surprised to hear you say it. We've been so focused on the 'getting pregnant' part, and I know we were talking about not finding out the sex, but I don't think we've actually talked about what we'd like it to be."

"No, you're right… we haven't," Logan says. "We should do that."

"Yeah, we should," she agrees. "But not here. Let's get home first, shall we?"

"Sure."

Logan smiles, leaning down to kiss her again, before releasing her and stepping back to pick up his large military-issue duffle bag. He holds out his hand to her and she takes it, winding her fingers through his as they head out of the airport.

* * *

 

Veronica tilts her head to the side, sighing blissfully as Logan kisses his way along her jaw and down her neck, his lips feather-light against her skin. She buries her fingers in his hair, delighting in the feel of his nude form stretched atop hers.

Within seconds of arriving back at the beach house, Veronica pulled Logan into their bedroom, locked the door behind them, and then promptly rid them both of their clothes. She wasn't kidding over Skype the other week… the pregnancy has been wreaking havoc on her hormones and the last month without Logan has been torture.

His mouth moves lower, down over her collarbone to her chest. One hand cups her breast, kneading the swollen flesh, his thumb brushing across her left nipple as his lips close around the right. Veronica shudders, letting out an eager moan, her hips bucking under his, overly-sensitive flesh feeling like it's on fire. Her hands slide from his hair to his shoulders, pushing down, letting him know what she wants. Logan releases her nipple with a pop and looks up at her incredulously.

"Again?"

"Yes, again," she insists, tone a mix of playfulness and urgency. "It's been a  _month_."

Logan smirks, giving an amused shake of his head. "You're insatiable."

"It's the hormones," she returns, somewhat breathlessly.

"Whatever it is, I like it," he decides, easing himself further down her body.

He stops for a moment, his hands spreading over her stomach, fingers tracing gentle patterns across her skin. Eyes on her again, he gives her a questioning look.

"You feel anything now?"

She tries not let her frustration show, as she replies pointedly, "Not  _there_ , no."

"Okay, okay," he says in playful exasperation. "Hold your horses, I'm getting there."

Veronica's head falls back against the pillows, eyes sliding closed as he finally reaches his destination and his tongue darts out to taste her.

"Oh God…" She groans, clutching at his hair as his mouth closes over her clit and a fresh wave of sensation radiates through her. "Yes… don't stop. Just… stay there. Forever."

At that, Logan stops, his head lifting beneath her hands, and she opens her eyes to find him looking up at her with a raised eyebrow and a smirk playing on his lips.

"What?" she asks breathlessly.

"You know that I am  _not_  actually here simply to bend to your every whim, right?" he murmurs, tone teasing.

"Sorry," she mumbles. "I didn't mean to be so, uh, demanding… it's just... it's like I have this  _ache_  inside of me all the time, and nothing I do even comes close to taking the edge off. You're the only one who—"

"Who can scratch that itch for ya. Right," he finishes, looking amused. "Well, okay, then."

He spends the best part of the next thirty minutes making sure that particular itch is fully scratched—several times, in fact—before he slides up her body again and pulls her with him as he rolls onto his back. Veronica goes easily, straddling his waist and resting her upper body against his chest, not having the energy to sit up. Logan's palms run down over her back, slick with sweat, then curve around her bottom as he adjusts his hips and slides up into her.

They rock together, slowly at first, exchanging soft, gentle kisses and caresses, until Logan moves his hips  _just so_  and Veronica feels a spark deep inside her again. Using his chest for support, she pushes herself upright to sitting. Logan's hands come to her hips, guiding her movements for a moment, before sliding over her stomach, and then up to cup her breasts, testing their weight in his palms. She closes her eyes, and leans back, moving her hands to the tops of his thighs, as she concentrates on building towards yet another orgasm.

Anyone would think they'd been apart for months and not weeks, but Veronica can't get enough of him right now, and she's not going to apologise for it. Call it pregnancy hormones in overdrive or whatever, but God help her, she never wants this feeling to stop.

* * *

 

"So," Logan starts lazily as they relax comfortably on the sofa later that evening. Mac has offered to make herself scarce until tomorrow, so they have the house to themselves for the night. Veronica sits between his legs, her back propped against his chest as her hands rest over his on her t-shirt-covered stomach. "If I recall, we were going to discuss baby-related things when we got home."

"Yeah…we were…" Veronica says softly, voice faint, like it's an effort to get the words out.

He smirks when she yawns, feeling a strange sense of pride that he still has the ability to completely wear her out with sex, even after almost four years together. Not that he's faring much better, mind you. Even though they took an hour-long nap together earlier, he's having trouble keeping his eyes open as well.

"You wanna talk now?"

Veronica yawns again. "Can it wait? Too tired."

"Of course."

He drops a kiss to the top of her head, then spreads his hands out under hers, so that her fingers fall between his.

"You know, even though you showed me on Skype, I don't think  _this_  really became real for me until today," he muses, marvelling at the way her rounded stomach can feel both soft and firm at the same time.

She turns her head, looking a little bemused. "Oh, it's real. Believe me. It's been feeling all too real for weeks now."

"Yeah, I know," he acknowledges. "Sorry. That was insensitive."

"'It's okay." She reaches one hand up and gives his cheek a gentle pat. "You more than made up for it this afternoon."

" _Yeah_  I did," he retorts playfully.

Veronica smiles, then freezes, her body stiffening.

"What?" he asks in alarm. "What is it?"

"I just realised that soon I'm not going to be able to see you when you're… you know… down there," she says faintly.

"Oh." Logan blinks, not expecting that at all. A strange mental image enters his mind and he quickly shakes it away. "Uh, I hadn't thought about that."

"And, oh God… I'm going to be too huge to have sex."

She sounds miserable at the prospect, but Logan can't help but smile. For once, a crew-room conversation from deployment will actually come in useful.

"Not necessarily," he says. "We'll just need to get a bit creative. You didn't read about that in one of those pregnancy books you bought?"

"I wasn't really focusing on the third trimester when I started reading them." She gives a shrug, then frowns, glancing back at him. "Hang on, how do  _you_  know so much about it?"

"Oh, uh… crew room talk?" he offers sheepishly.

"Right." She gives a scoff. "Of course… it's all about the sex with you men, isn't it? Not the wonder of creating human life or anything."

"Hey, that's not fair," he counters. "Which one of us has been 'all about the sex' lately, huh?"

"Yeah, whatever," she retorts childishly, looking down at their joined hands.

He grins as her cheeks flush, kissing her temple, then moving to sit up, bringing her with him. She shifts forward on the sofa, giving him some space to move.

"Don't know about you, but I need to sleep off some of this jetlag," he says, lifting his hands to her long hair and smoothing it down her back. "And I gotta be in San Diego in the morning."

"Yeah, me too." Veronica stifles another yawn, before turning to face him. "The sleep part, I mean. Let's go to bed."

* * *

 

They fly back to Norfolk, Virginia on Saturday, first heading over to Nick and Amy's to collect Pony, before driving back to their house. As much as she's missed seeing her puppy every day, Veronica can't deny the heavy, sinking feeling that settles over her when they step inside the military-assigned home again.

"You okay?" Logan asks as he enters the foyer behind her.

Veronica pastes a smile on her face as she turns her head to him. "Yeah. Just tired. And hungry."

"Good thing Amy gave us that then." Logan nods to the casserole dish she's holding. "Means we don't have to go to the store tonight."

"Yeah, good thing," she says, lifting her chin for a kiss as he moves past her.

While Logan brings the rest of their bags in from the car, Veronica heats up the dinner and fixes some food for Pony, and then they sink down on the couch to eat.

"So, what do you think we're having, a boy or a girl?" Veronica asks, when she's done, moving her plate onto the coffee table.

Logan glances over at her stomach thoughtfully, as if he's expecting some kind of signal from the baby. "I really don't know."

"Well, what would you like it to be?" she tries another tack.

"I'll be happy with either, as long as it's healthy," he says vaguely, causing Veronica to reach across and lightly smack his arm.

"That is such a cop-out," she declares, narrowing her eyes at him. "Come on, gimme a real answer."

Logan places his plate down on the coffee table next to hers, before shifting to face her. He purses his lips thoughtfully, regarding her for a long moment before finally speaking.

"Honestly? When I think of us with a child, it's always a girl," he says, giving a slight smile. "With your hair and eyes, and—"

"You do know that  _your_  eye colour will be the dominant one, right?" she interrupts. "Remember biology class? There's only a twenty-five percent chance this kid will have my eyes."

"Yeah, okay," he dismisses with a shake of his head and a small smile. "But that wasn't really my point."

"So, you'd like a girl," she says. "Okay."

"I'd be happy with a boy, too," he says "Like I said, as long it's healthy. What about you?"

Veronica gives a helpless shrug. "Well, being an only child, I don't really know anything about raising boys… but then, given what I also know about girls, we can be a handful too." She makes a face, recalling the kinds of things she went through growing up. "God, think of the teenage years."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves." Logan reaches across to take her hand. He squeezes it lightly and she smiles in response. "We'll have plenty of time to figure all that stuff out."

"Yeah, I know." She nods. "Okay, if I  _have_  to choose… I think I'd like it to be a girl, too."

"Do you want find out at the scan in a couple of weeks?" he asks.

Veronica presses her lips together as she considers the options, before she asks, "Do you?"

"Not if you don't want to."

"You've changed your tune," she muses. "Before the last scan you were pushing for finding out the sex."

"I changed my mind." He gives a shrug. "Whatever you want is fine with me."

"Okay, a little surprised… but, thanks." She shoots him a grateful smile. "Well, part of me is really curious to know, but the rest is… I mean, I don't want knowing the sex to affect how I feel about the baby; you know, about how I'm going to raise it. And, well, what if they get it wrong, and we spend the next five months thinking it's a girl and then out pops a boy, or vice versa?"

"Both valid points," Logan concedes. "Though I'm pretty sure ultrasound technology has advanced a fair bit since we were born. They have those 4D scans and everything now."

"Yeah, I know, but I kinda like the idea of not finding out until it's born," says Veronica thoughtfully. "It adds some mystery. And there's no way I'm gonna be gender stereotyping my kid anyway, so I guess, ultimately it doesn't matter."

"Okay," Logan agrees. "We won't find out then. Keep it a surprise."

* * *

 

**Mid-November 2019**

**Nineteen Weeks Along**

They visit Sarah's new arrival on Monday morning. Logan has a few days off before he has to get back to work at Oceana, but Chaos has used up all the leave he took when Mason was born, so it's a good opportunity to see her friend and offer some help.

While Veronica relieves Sarah of the baby, carefully cradling him in her arms as she takes a seat on the couch, Logan offers to make the hot drinks in the kitchen. Sarah smiles at him gratefully as he hands her a small mug of instant coffee, and then he takes a seat beside Veronica, who nudges him with her elbow.

"Isn't he just adorable?" she says. "He looks like his daddy, don't you think?"

"Uh, yeah." Logan smiles and gives a nod, though given the kid is only two weeks old and fast asleep, it's hard to tell if there's much of a family resemblance yet. "He does."

Veronica looks down at the newborn with an awed expression, gently rocking him in her arms, and Logan feels a small flip in his chest at the sight of it.

_In a few months, that'll be_ our _baby she's holding,_  he muses.  _And despite what she might think, she's going to make a great mother._

As if sensing his gaze on her, she turns her head to look at him and he smiles warmly in return.

"You wanna hold him?" she offers.

"I don't want to wake him," he declines with a shake of his head.

"Yes, please don't," pipes up Sarah tiredly from the armchair. "He's been screaming the place down all morning."

"Should I put him down?" Veronica nods towards the small bassinet beside Sarah.

"Sure."

Gingerly, Veronica eases herself forward on the couch and stands, careful not to disturb Mason as she moves across the room. She gently lowers the baby down into the bassinet, and lets out a sigh of relief when he doesn't wake.

"How're you doing, Sarah?" Logan asks as Veronica settles back down beside him.

"So so tired," she admits. "I thought it would be easier this time, 'cause I've already been through it before, but nope. If anything, it's worse, because it turns out my daughter was what they call a 'good baby'. Mason, however, just refuses to sleep for more than about an hour at a time and never seems to stop crying."

"I'm sorry," says Veronica softly. "Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help, with the baby, or even just looking after Ava for you."

"Where is Ava today?" Logan wonders, glancing around the room. He hasn't seen any sign of her yet.

"Oh, my parents are staying with us for a few weeks," Sarah says. "They're entertaining her for me today."

"That's nice of them," Logan replies, even as Veronica shifts a little beside him, her gaze fixed on her hands. He frowns slightly, but doesn't comment.

They stay with Sarah for the next few hours, Veronica offering to put on a load of laundry, while Logan fixes them all some lunch. When the baby wakes, Logan offers to hold him, and though the first few moments with the tiny bundle in his arms are peaceful, it's not long before Mason starts screaming. And despite his best efforts, Logan can't get him to stop.

"He'll be hungry. Again," says Sarah, making her way to his side. "Here, I'll take him."

By the time they head home mid-afternoon, Logan's feeling a mix of excitement and apprehension at the prospect of what's to come for himself and Veronica in the next few months. Even though he was around when Ava was born, Veronica was the one who spent the most time with Sarah and the baby afterwards, so he didn't really experience the reality of having a newborn at home.

"You okay?" Veronica asks as they pull up in front of the house.

"Yeah." He nods, cutting the engine. "Just, uh… getting my head around it all."

"A lot to take in, huh?" She gives a small smile. "I know, me too. I get the feeling that the first few months are not going to be easy."

"I'm certainly getting that impression," he agrees. "At least her parents are here to help out though."

"Yeah… they are."

Her soft reply concerns him, but before he can say anything, she's out of the car and heading into the house.

* * *

 

**Late November 2019**

**Twenty Weeks Along**

Three days before Thanksgiving, Veronica and Logan visit Dr. Anderson's office for her twenty-week anatomy scan. The scan will make sure the baby is developing as it should be and check for potential medical anomalies, such as spina bifida, a cleft lip or a congenital heart defect. And of course, determine the sex of the baby, though since they've now decided for sure that they don't want to find out, they'll have to leave that part out.

Though she knows the scan is only routine, if she's honest, Veronica's not sure she really wants to know whether anything is potentially wrong with the baby. It took so much to get to this point that she can't bear the thought that he or she might not be completely healthy.

"Okay, then, let's get started, shall we?" says Dr. Anderson when Veronica is settled on the exam table in her office, her shirt pulled up to expose her rapidly-growing bump.

Veronica smiles at Logan, who slips his hand in hers as the cold gel is squeezed onto her stomach, and the doctor starts to move the sonogram wand across her skin. After a moment, the steady whooshing noise of a heartbeat sounds through the monitor and Veronica's own heart rate speeds up in response.

"The heartbeat is still nice and strong, just like before." Dr. Anderson smiles, giving a nod of approval. She turns the computer screen so that Veronica and Logan can see it. "Okay, here's the little one."

"Oh, wow…" Veronica feels a jolt of excitement as she takes in the image on the screen. At the last scan, it was hard to determine exactly what they were looking at, but this time she is definitely looking at a real, human baby and not just an alien-like blob. She turns to her husband with a wide smile. "Logan, look at our baby."

"It's incredible." He squeezes her hand, though his eyes are firmly fixed on the screen. "You can actually see a nose and mouth and everything."

"That you can," agrees the doctor. "And here's a hand as well, see?"

"Look at those tiny little fingers!" Veronica feels a sudden wave of emotion bubbling up in her chest as she takes in what she's seeing. She swallows, her hand coming to her mouth as she feels tears welling up in her eyes. "That's my  _baby_."

Dr. Anderson smiles warmly. "Before I go any further, have you decided for sure whether you want to know the sex?"

Veronica glances up at Logan, whose eyes also seem slightly shiny, and he gives a small shake of his head. She nods once in confirmation, then turns back to the doctor.

"We don't want to know," she says. "It's going to be a surprise."

"Okay," says the doctor. "I'll do my best, but I have to warn you that the baby is in the perfect position today to tell, so you might see by accident. I'll try not to let that happen though."

Dr. Anderson continues with the scan, pointing out the various limbs and organs of the baby for them, while helpfully covering the parts of the image that could potentially give away the sex, before turning the monitor away from them again as she moves on to taking measurements and completing the rest of the scan checks.

"Okay, well," she says eventually, turning off the monitor and turning to Veronica and Logan. "Everything seems good to me. Your baby's growth looks to be on track, and it doesn't appear that there's anything to be worried about at the moment."

Veronica lets out a small sigh of relief. "That's great."

"Awesome," adds Logan with a smile.

"How have you been feeling lately, Veronica?" the doctor asks.

"I've been good, actually," she tells her. "The morning sickness stopped a few weeks ago, which means now I'm hungry all the time."

"That's good to hear," Dr. Anderson nods. "I know we were worried about your weight loss last time, but it seems you've been gaining steadily since then, which is good. You're within the normal recommendations for weight gain and the rest of your vitals seem normal. Have you felt the baby move yet?"

Veronica's hand comes to the side of her stomach. "I think so… I've felt a few flutters in the last couple of weeks, but it's hard to tell if it's the baby or just me."

"That's normal," says the doctor. "But it won't be long now before those little flutters will turn into actual kicks and jabs that you'll definitely be able to distinguish from other sensations."

"Amazing…" Logan says, a note of awe in his tone now.

Veronica looks up at him, seeing the same emotions mirrored in his eyes as she's feeling herself.  _This is so cool, and amazing… and it's getting more and more real by the day._

"Do you have any concerns or questions, either of you?"

"I don't think so." Veronica shakes her head.

"Okay, but, please, don't hesitate to let me know if you're worried about anything," Dr. Anderson says kindly. "Have the two of you started preparing for the next few months yet?"

"In what way?" The question comes from Logan.

The doctor shares a smile with Veronica, as she replies, "Well, like enrolling in childbirth classes, setting up your baby registry, deciding on a birthing plan, getting the nursery ready, finding a paediatrician…"

"Oh, right. Those things." Logan looks a little shell-shocked, as if none of the logistics or practicalities of having a baby have actually occurred to him yet.

"No, not yet," says Veronica, feeling a curl of discomfort in her chest at the thought of it. "Logan's been overseas for the last few weeks, and I've been visiting family in California, so we haven't really had a chance to yet."

"Well, don't worry, they aren't urgent," the doctor assures them. "But they are things you'll need to start thinking about soon, because they can take some time to sort out."

"Of course." Veronica nods

Dr. Anderson smiles. "Okay, well, that's everything for today. Your next screening will be at twenty-six weeks, so we'll get you scheduled in for an appointment in"—she checks her calendar—"the second week of January."

"Okay, we'll see you then," says Logan, as he helps Veronica sit up and slide off the exam table. "Thanks, Doctor."

* * *

 

"So, I guess we need to figure out a… what was it called? A birthing plan?" Logan says later that evening as they enjoy the cool night air while walking Pony along the beach.

"Yeah, I guess we do." Her voice is soft, almost timid, and he frowns in response.

Veronica's been quiet since they left the doctor's office, which is unexpected, given how excited she was during the scan itself. In the car on the way home, he wanted to ask if something was wrong, but before he had the chance, she leaned forward and turned the radio up, effectively preventing him from saying anything. Then, during dinner, she kept her focus on the food and avoided any real conversation.

He glances over at her now, squeezing her hand in his as he asks, "Hey, is everything okay?"

She starts to shake her head, but then instead, takes a deep, almost stuttering breath, before she says, "Not really, no."

"What's wrong?" He tugs on her hand, urging her to stop. "You were so happy earlier. What changed?"

"Nothing. It's probably just pregnancy hormones." She looks down at Pony, who is standing dutifully beside her, waiting to get moving again.

She's trying to shrug it off, he can tell, but he isn't going to let her just pretend everything's fine when it clearly isn't.

"Talk to me, Veronica," he says seriously. "Please."

She doesn't say anything for a long moment, but then takes another long breath, before finally speaking.

"All this talk about birthing plans and nurseries and paediatricians…" She looks up at him in the darkness, her expression fraught. "Logan, the thing is… I want to have the baby in Neptune."

_Ah. There it is._

He's seen the look in her eyes lately, the enthusiasm in her voice over Skype when she was in Neptune, how her mood dipped as soon as they arrived back in Virginia a few days ago. It was only a matter of time before it all came spilling out.

Not that he hasn't thought about bringing it up himself, but even though his meeting in San Diego the other week went well, and he's already discussed the possible transfer with Commander Sanchez, which seemed like it might have positive results, he still doesn't know anything for certain yet.

"I'm sorry," she adds when he doesn't say anything. "I know it can't happen, because you have to be here, and because there's no way I'm going anywhere, or doing any of this, without you. But, Logan, seeing Sarah the other day… the thought of trying to cope on my own after the baby's born, without my dad, or anyone else from home… I'm afraid I won't be able to do it."

Logan opens his mouth to talk, but she continues before he can say anything.

"I know my dad said he would come out here when the baby's born, but that means taking time off work, and he can't stay indefinitely. He needs the money."

"I know," he says softly when she takes a breath.

"And," she keeps going, "before you say that I have friends here, like Sarah and Nick, it's not the same. Besides, Sarah has Mason to take care of, and Ava too. I couldn't ask her to help me as well."

"I know," he says again, taking her other hand in his, Pony's leash sliding down to her wrist as he does so, and looking down at her seriously. "Veronica… I  _know_."

"Wait." She frowns in the darkness, looking confused. "What do you mean, 'you know'?"

"Veronica, I'm not blind," he says. "When you were in Neptune, you seemed different. Lighter, happier. Your eyes had this extra sparkle. You were where you needed to be; but then, as soon as we landed here, you lost that lightness and sparkle again."

"But, we can't go back, Logan," she utters, sounding completely dejected. "So what's the point in dwelling on it? I mean, what good will it do?"

"Hey, come here," he says softly, releasing her hands and pulling her into a tight hug.

Her arms come around his lower back, Pony's leash preventing her from lifting them higher, and she buries her forehead against his chest. Logan rests his chin atop her head for a moment, pressing his lips together, his brow furrowing as he debates his options, before he makes a split decision. He just hopes it's the right one.

"Okay, look," he says gently, releasing her and pulling back so he can look down at her in the moonlight. "I wasn't gonna say anything yet, because it's not set in stone… but there's a chance I'm going to be transferred back to North Island."

"What?" Veronica's head whips up, her mouth falling open as she stares up at him in shock. "When? How?"

"The Navy is setting up a new F/A-18 tactics unit based at North Island," he tells her gently. "Like the squadron I teach at here. You know that meeting I went to on the base when I got home?" She nods, still looking stunned. "I was discussing the possibility of being transferred back so I could help set up the unit."

"Seriously?" Her voice is faint. "I mean, is this just hypothetical, or is it something that might actually, really happen?"

"As I said, nothing's official yet," he states. "But it's sounding promising."

"Oh my God…" she murmurs. "If it does happen, when would you start?"

"As far as I know, the plan is to have the unit up and running by next Spring, but if the transfer goes ahead, I could be there earlier to plan and execute the training program. It could be as early as the New Year."

"Really?" She seems to be in disbelief. "As in we could come home for Christmas?"

"I hope so."

"Oh my God, Logan… this is incredible!" She bounces on her toes for a moment before curling her fingers around his biceps and rising up to kiss him excitedly. "I can't believe it."

"Like I said, it's still only a possibility," he reminds her. "I wasn't going to mention it until I knew for sure and had been issued the official orders. I knew how you were feeling, and I was concerned about getting your hopes up, in case it doesn't come together."

"Well, I'm glad you did." She beams up at him, reaching for his shirt and tugging him down for another kiss. "You've just made my day, Lieutenant Echolls."

He returns the smile, warmth spreading through his chest in response to seeing her happy again. "Glad I could be of assistance, ma'am."

Beside them, Pony barks, her tail wagging furiously as she tugs on her leash, obviously fed up of just standing around.

"Sorry, Pone." Veronica turns to the dog. "I know you want to keep walking, but did you hear that? We might be going back home again."


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos :).
> 
> I actually almost forgot to post this chapter today... it's late evening here and I only just remembered about an hour ago that today was update day :P.

**Thanksgiving Night 2019**

**Twenty Weeks Along**

Logan has only just drifted off to sleep when he's roused by a dipping of the mattress beside him, followed by a kick to his shin as Veronica restlessly turns over… for about the twentieth time tonight.

He scowls, his eyes still closed, and mumbles out a grumpy, "Fuck, V'ronica. Some of us are trying to sleep here."

"Well, at least  _some of us_  have that luxury," she retorts irritably, shifting again. "You try getting comfortable with a human being growing inside you, both pressing on your bladder and squishing your lungs at the same time."

There's a slight wobble in her voice and he immediately regrets his irritated response. Opening his eyes, he finds her on her side facing him, trying to find a good position. As his eyes adjust to the darkness, he notices the frustration in her expression and the tears glistening in her eyes.

"Sorry," he says gently, reaching out to tuck her hair behind her ear, his thumb lingering on her cheek. "I didn't mean to snap at you. What can I do to help?"

She shakes her head, a lone tear escaping and running down her cheek. He wipes it away.

"I don't know. I just need to  _sleep_ ," she says, sounding exhausted and fed up. "But if I lie on my back, I can't breathe and if I lie on my side, my back starts aching."

Logan thinks for a moment, before saying, "Turn over. On your other side."

"Okay…"

She does as he suggests and as she settles onto her left side, he slips his arm around her waist and snuggles up behind her, supporting her back against his chest.

"Does this help?"

"A bit." She nods, her hand coming up to cover his, which is resting on her belly. "Thanks."

"No problem."

"I think the baby agrees," she adds. "Pretty sure it just moved again."

"Awesome." He smiles, a rush of warmth flooding through his chest at the thought of it. "You know, it feels kinda odd calling the baby 'it'… maybe we should—"

"Before you ask, we are  _not_  finding out the sex," she interrupts quickly. "We already decided that."

"I know. That's not what I was going to say," he says. "I just meant, maybe we should find another word instead of 'it'. A nickname we can use."

"Like what?" she sounds sceptical. "Not one of those weird ones like bean or nugget?"

"Okay, maybe not one of those," he concedes. "I don't know…" He thinks for a moment, before an idea comes to mind and he grins. "How about Bud?"

"Bud?" she says incredulously, turning her head toward him. "What kind of name is that?"

He catches his tongue between his teeth in a smile. "Baby UnDetermined."

She makes a soft sound, somewhere between a scoff and a chuckle. "Trust you to come up with something military-sounding."

"You don't like it?"

"I didn't say that," she returns.

"Okay, then. Bud it is." He nods in confirmation, gently rubbing her belly again. "Hear that, Bud?"

"You're ridiculous." She shakes her head, though she doesn't object.

"But you love me anyway," he teases, kissing her cheek.

"That I do." She smiles, then gives a sigh. "God help me."

She settles back against him again and they lie together in silence.

"Thank you for today," she says after a moment.

"It was my pleasure," he says, gently running his hand over her bump again, marvelling at how it seems to be getting bigger every day. "I'm glad you had a good Thanksgiving."

He surprised her last night by flying Keith and Marcia out to Virginia Beach for Thanksgiving weekend. The four of them plus Pony spent the day together, watching the Macy's Parade on TV, preparing Thanksgiving dinner and then sitting down together to watch the game. Logan has to admit that though he's now comfortable hanging out with Keith, it's still weird having both the former and current Neptune sheriffs staying in his house, especially given his history with Neptune law enforcement. He spent the day waiting for one of them to accuse him of some nefarious wrong-doing or other.

"It was just what I needed."

She shifts in his arms, moving against him, her hand coming to the back of her hip.

"You okay?" he asks in concern.

"My back's aching again," she admits. "I think I need to get one of those pregnancy pillows."

"Those weird-shaped ones?"

"Yeah," she says. "I didn't really consider it before, but then again, until this week, I was sleeping pretty well. They're supposed to really help."

"Okay." He nods. "We'll go shopping tomorrow."

"Yeah, okay." The words come out on a yawn and Logan tightens his arm around her slightly.

"Try to get some sleep, okay?" he says softly.

"Uh, huh," she murmurs tiredly.

Her breathing evens out and she relaxes back against him, but Logan doesn't follow her into sleep right away. Instead, he takes a moment to enjoy the feel of her in his arms, his palm flattening over her stomach as he tries to picture their baby inside. He feels a curl of excitement and anticipation in his belly at the thought that he's going to become a father in a few months.

* * *

 

**Early December 2019**

**Twenty-One Weeks Along**

Notepad and pencil in hand, Veronica makes her way down the aisles of Target on Saturday morning, eyes scanning the shelves for things they might need for the baby. As she stops to make a couple of notes, she hears Logan sigh as he joins her from behind.

"Why are we here again?" he asks.

"Because we gotta start figuring out what we need for the baby registry," she says, pretty sure she's already explained this already—though her brain has been all over the place lately, so there's a good chance she intended to explain and then totally forgot.

"But why?" He looks confused as he scratches the back of his neck. "I mean, we can afford to buy anything we need for the baby."

"I know that." She tries not to roll her eyes. "But everyone's gonna want to buy us gifts, and it's better they get things we actually need, rather than random crap that will just gather dust."

"Okay, fair enough," he concedes. "But why do we have to do it in a Target store?"

She frowns. "What's wrong with Target?"

"Nothing. It's just—"

"Nothing?" She raises an eyebrow. "You mean you're  _not_  being a rich snob about shopping in a  _lower-class_  store? Nice to see  _some_  things never change."

He sighs in barely-concealed frustration. "You know I didn't mean—"

"Do I?" she shoots back.

Feathers ruffled, she turns on her heel and continues down the aisle.

"Veronica," Logan protests, following behind her, his fingers catching her elbow. "Come on, stop. I just meant that there are other stores we could go to instead."

"What stores, huh?" she spits back. "Expensive boutiques and designer outlets?"

"Not necessarily," he starts, but she's on a roll now.

"Maybe  _your_  friends are rich, Logan, but mine aren't," she counters. "They can't afford to buy registry gifts from places like that."

"And we're back to my original point. We don't need anyone to gift us this stuff," he responds. "We can buy high-end ourselves."

"Ugh!" She throws her hands up in frustration. "You're impossible!"

He visibly clenches his jaw at that. "Well,  _excuse_  me for wanting you and the baby to have the best things."

Veronica lets out a huff of annoyance. "We don't  _need_  the best thin—"

She stops suddenly, a gasp of surprise falling from her lips.

"I know that, I just—" he continues.

"Logan," she says urgently.

"—want you to be happy."

" _Logan!_ " Exasperated, she reaches for his hand and places it over her stomach.

"What?" he asks in irritation.

"The baby just kicked."

"What?" His tone changes to one of surprise… and awe. "Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously," she responds, a smile slowly spreading across her face, the tension draining from her body. "Until now, I've only felt flutters, but this one was a real kick."

"Wow," he murmurs, his gaze fixed on her belly. "Is it gonna happen again?"

"Now? I don't know," she says with a shrug. "We were arguing; maybe little Bud here wanted to get in on the action?"

Logan frowns a little, his palm flattening over her stomach. "So, we should keep arguing, see if it happens again?"

"No." She can't help it, the smile stretches into a grin. "As exhilarating as fighting with you may be, I'd rather not draw any more attention to ourselves while we're in the middle of a store."

"Fair enough." He returns the grin for a moment, before sobering. "I'm sorry. You're right, I was being a snob."

"That's okay," she relents. "I know how hard is it for you to pretend you're one of the little people sometimes."

"Hey, I resent that," he protests. "I spend most of my time with those so-called 'little people'."

Veronica just smiles in response.

"You're forgiven," she says, rising up to kiss him lightly on the lips.

As they part, she feels it again. A definite kick, right under Logan's palm.

"Fuck me, did you feel that?" he says in wonder. She just raises an eyebrow in response, until he adds, "Of course you did."

"Pretty cool, huh?"

He nods, breaking into a grin. "Very cool."

* * *

 

**Mid-December 2019**

**Twenty-Two Weeks Along**

"So?" Veronica pounces as soon as Logan arrives home from work on Wednesday evening. "Did you hear?"

Logan tugs off his jacket and drapes it over the armchair as he nods. "I did."

"And?" she says impatiently.

He turns to her, unable to keep the grin from his face. "I got it."

She shoots up from the couch and practically bounces across the room. "You got it?"

"Yep." He extracts the folded piece of paper from his jacket pocket and holds it out to her. "The official orders."

"Oh my God!" she exclaims, taking it from him and scanning over it for a moment before looking back up at him with bright, shining eyes. "This is for real?"

"Uh huh." He nods, still grinning. "We're going back to Neptune, baby!"

"Logan…" Her voice is filled with wonder as she throws her arms around his neck in a tight hug. "I can't believe it."

"Believe it," he replies, hugging her back.

She pulls back, her fingers stroking the base of his neck, and kisses him enthusiastically. When they part, she has tears in her eyes.

"Thank you," she says earnestly.

"What for?" He feigns innocence and she just gives him an incredulous look.

"Come on, it can't have been a coincidence that this opportunity just suddenly came up for you," she says. "I mean, of all the instructors in the Navy, and you just happen to be the one who's offered it?"

There's no use denying it, so…

"You're right," he says with a shrug. "As soon as I heard about the new unit, I had to give it a shot. I approached them, arranged the meeting in San Diego, asked if I could transfer."

"Why?" she asks, her hands coming to rest on his chest.

"For you," he tells her.  _Surely that should be obvious?_  "Because I know you're not happy here and never will be." He shrugs again. "What can I say? I hate to see you sad."

"Really?" She sounds a little choked up.

"And for me as well," he continues. "Because I'm not happy here either."

She frowns in confusion. "You're not?"

"How can I be, when you aren't?"

As the words leave his mouth, he realises how cheesy they sound and he cringes.

"I mean, yeah, if I was here on my own, I'd just accept it and make the most of it, but this isn't just about me anymore," he says seriously. "We're a family now; we need to do what's best for all of us. And what's best is being in Neptune."

"Yeah," she agrees. "It is. Thank you."

He nods, giving her a closed-mouth smile as he pushes down his own emotions, the ones causing his chest to tighten and threatening to bring tears to his own eyes.

"So, when do you start?"

"The week after New Year's," he says. "There's no training at Oceana over the holidays, so I'll finish up here December 20th and we can leave after that."

She looks up at him hopefully. "So we can be home by Christmas?"

He nods, smiling. "We can be home by Christmas."

"This is amazing." She bounces on her toes, then leans up to kiss him again, before resting her forehead against his.

"I know." His smile widens; her joy is infectious.

"You know what, I think this deserves a celebration," she declares, stepping back and holding out her hand to him. "Let's take this upstairs."

"Why, Mrs. Echolls!" He affects a vaguely scandalised tone. "Before dinner?"

"Well…" She seems to consider this. "I  _am_  awfully hungry, but the thing is,"—she rises up on tiptoes, resting her hand on his shoulder as she murmurs in his ear— "All I've been thinking about all day is getting you naked and riding you until I come so hard I can't think straight."

"Jesus," he swears, swallowing audibly as his cock springs to life. "Uh, well… in that case, I, uh…" He stops, unable to think clearly as her hand slides down to cup him through his pants. He clears his throat. "I have no objection to that."

"Thought you might say that," she says teasingly, taking his hand and pulling him towards the door. "Come on."

As she pulls him up the stairs, he can't help but quip, "So, tell me, do all pregnant women get this horny or is it just you?"

* * *

 

**Christmas Day 2019**

**Twenty-Four Weeks Along**

Veronica smiles to herself as she pours pancake batter into one frying pan, before checking on the bacon sizzling away in the other. They've been back in Neptune for four days now, having flown home with Pony on Saturday and the moving truck arriving yesterday, but she's barely been able to stop smiling the whole time.

"Morning," Logan's voice rumbles in her ear as she feels his chest and stomach pressing against her back. He brushes her hair to one side and her eyes slide closed as he kisses the sensitive spot just behind her ear. "Merry Christmas, my darling wife."

She smirks. "Okay, what did you do?"

"Huh?" He sounds puzzled as he presses another kiss to her neck.

" _My darling wife_?" she questions. "That's the kind of thing a husband with a guilty conscience says."

"I think Neptune's gotten to you already," he muses. "You're back to talking like a suspicious PI again."

His hand runs down her back, fingers tracing each vertebra. It makes her shiver, a thrill running through her whole body.

"You can relax," he assures her, hand sliding around to rest over her bump. "I just felt like saying it."

"Well, in that case…" She turns to face him, looping her arms around his neck. "Merry Christmas,  _my dearest husband_."

A slow smile spreads across his face as he leans down and kisses her lightly.

"So," he says when they part. "Pancakes and bacon, huh?"

"Yep." She turns back to the stove so she can flip the pancake, and Logan's hands settle on her stomach again. "I thought we could eat them out on the sundeck. You know, make the most of the warm, sunny SoCal weather."

"You do realise that it's only about 50 degrees out there right now?" Logan's chin comes to rest on her shoulder. "We'll freeze."

She shrugs. "It's still warmer than Virginia Beach."

"Be that as it may, I vote for eating on the couch instead."

"Spoilsport," she replies, moving the pancake to a plate, then greasing the pan and ladling more pancake batter into it.

Logan remains behind her as she makes the breakfast, seemingly unable to stop himself from gently running his fingers across her t-shirt covered belly. The baby kicks in response to his touch and Veronica can't help grinning when Logan startles in surprise. A moment later, she feels another kick, and then what could well be the jab of an elbow, and she brings her hand to her stomach too.

"It's all go in there, today, huh, Bud?" says Logan, affection in his tone.

"Don't I know it." Veronica rubs at the spot for a moment, before returning her attention to making the breakfast.

"You glad to be home?" Logan asks softly.

"Yes. Definitely." She nods. "Ever since we got back, it's just like this constant relief, you know?"

"I do."

"I know I've said it already, but thank you," she tells him seriously. "For pulling those strings, or whatever it was, to get the transfer. It means so much to me."

"I know it does." He kisses the base of her neck. "And I'd do anything for you, you know that."

A lump begins to form in her throat at that, and she has to blink away tears. "I do. And I, you."

There's a moment of silence, before Logan says. "Geez, what happened to us? So sentimental."

Veronica grins, patting his hand where it rests on her stomach. "Aw, honey, you've always been this way."

"That's not true," he claims and she snorts disbelievingly. "Okay, maybe it is. But if anyone at the base finds out, there'll be hell to pay."

"Yeah, okay." She rolls her eyes. "Your secret's safe with me."

As Veronica finishes making the pancakes and piles everything onto one plate, Logan releases her and moves to the fridge, pouring two glasses of orange juice. They carry the plate and glasses to the living room and make themselves comfortable on the couch, Veronica propped against the arm, cushions supporting her back, and her legs draped over Logan's, as they feed each other strips of bacon and forkfuls of pancake.

"You know," says Logan, when the plate is clean. "This is the last Christmas we'll have to ourselves, just us, for at least the next eighteen years."

"Wow." Veronica blinks. "I hadn't even thought of that."

" _Exactly_ ," he stresses. "So, I think we should make the most of all our alone time today; celebrate Christmas  _our_  way, just the two of us, before Bud in there comes along and makes it three."

Veronica studies him with amusement. "Echolls, are you trying to talk me into bed?"

"Or the shower." He shoots her a lazy grin. "Maybe the kitchen table. I'm not picky."

"You do realise I'm almost six months pregnant, right?" She raises an eyebrow at him. "I'm not sure you've thought the practicalities of those suggestions through."

"Okay, then." He concedes with a shrug. "How about right here on the couch? You can be on top."

"Hey, Logan…?" she says softly, beckoning to him with her index finger.

When he leans forward in question, she reaches for his shirt and tugs him in for a kiss.

"As amazing as that sounds," she says when they part. "Right now, little Bud here is squishing all my organs, which means my back is killing me and I'm feeling short of breath just sitting here, let alone doing anything else." She looks at him beseechingly. "So, can we please just have a nice, relaxing Christmas morning where I don't have to do anything except stay still and open a few presents?"

"Of course," he agrees quickly, flashing an apologetic smile. "Sorry."

"Thank you," she says. "Any other time, though…"

"Sure." He nods in understanding. "You want a backrub?"

"Well, if you're offering…"

"Okay," he says, lifting her legs from his lap so he can stand up. "I'll get some pillows."

Veronica smiles, her eyes following his retreating form as he heads out of the room, toward their bedroom. Logan's been awesome the last few weeks since he's been home. Before he left for his short deployment, other than morning sickness, she didn't look or seem much different than before she got pregnant, but by the time he got back and saw how much her body had changed, he seemed to realise how much she's going through… so he started immersing himself in her maternity books, researching everything he could about the pregnancy, and even learning how to give her pregnancy massages… something she's been very appreciative of.

"Okay, here we go." He returns to the living room, his arms laden with a comforter, her pregnancy pillow, two other pillows and her massage oil.

He sets about arranging them on the floor, then holds his hands out to her to help her up off the couch. When she's settled on her side amongst the pillows, her sleep-shirt discarded and the comforter wrapped around her front, Logan sits down behind her to start the massage.

"Good?" he asks, his warm hands gliding along her skin, easing the tension.

She sighs contentedly, feeling herself relaxing already. "Yeah... very."

As Logan's hands work their magic on her aching muscles, Pony gets up from her bed in the kitchen and pads over to see what's going on.

"Hey, girl," murmurs Veronica, reaching out to pet the dog as she curls up on the floor in front of her, her soft head resting against her belly.

"Think she's looking for a massage too?" wonders Logan.

"Nah, look at her," she replies, watching as Pony nuzzles her stomach. "So protective already."

"A regular guard dog, eh?" Veronica can hear the amusement in his voice.

"I think she knows I'm carrying precious cargo."

Logan brings one hand to her stomach. "That you are."

* * *

 

"Open this one next," Logan says a couple of hours later, handing her a box wrapped in brightly-coloured Christmas paper.

"What's this?" she asks as she takes it from him.

He gives a slight roll of his eyes. "Why don't you open it and find out?"

She tears off the paper, then lifts the lid from the box and peers inside.

"Oh my God… Logan…"

She reaches for the first item, holding it up in front of her. It's a tiny, cream-coloured Babygro with the words ' _50% Mommy, 50% Daddy… 100% Perfect'_  printed on it.

"It's so cute," she says, her heart practically melting at the sight of it.

"I know, right?" He smile widely, looking pleased with himself.

"Thank you," she tells him sincerely, as she places it to one side, then turns back to the box and picks up the next item inside. She turns to Logan with a raised eyebrow. "Seriously?"

"Sorry, couldn't resist." He grins mischievously.

"It's a good thing you already got yourself in my good books with that massage earlier," she says warningly. "Because otherwise…"

"Oh, come on, it's funny," he retorts.

She eyes the slogan on the t-shirt again, which has a yellow warning triangle printed in the centre, and the words, ' _Caution: Touching of Pregnant Belly May Result in Loss of Hand'_ , above and below it. "You know I'm never wearing this, right?"

"If you say so." He shrugs. "But from what Sarah said about unwanted belly touching when she was pregnant, you might need it."

"Really?" She frowns. So far, she hasn't really had anyone come up to her and ask to feel her belly… but then again, she hasn't exactly been the most social person lately either, so… "Well, we'll see."

"Go on, check out the rest." Logan nods to the box again.

"Okay." The t-shirt joins the Babygro as she checks the box again. The next gift is a baby book, one they can record all the baby's firsts in. She lifts it up, tears pricking her eyes as she starts turning the pages. "Oh, it's perfect."

"I figured now we're back home, we should start preparing properly, you know?"

She nods. Other than choosing gifts for the registry, they've been holding off on organising any of the other stuff until they got back to California.

"There's one more thing in there."

Veronica checks the box again, and finds a small, white envelope at the bottom. Sliding her finger under the flap, she pulls out a voucher for two pregnancy spa days at an expensive health retreat in the 09er district.

"I thought you might like to experience the real thing and not my poor excuse for a massage," he says. "You can take someone with you if you like, maybe Mac?"

"Wow…" She's touched. "Thank you."

He smiles warmly. "My pleasure."

"Makes me wish I'd got you more than—" Logan cuts her off with a finger to her lips.

"Veronica, you're my wife and you're carrying my child," he says softly, cupping her jaw and leaning in for a soft, gentle kiss. "Let me spoil you once in a while, huh?"

* * *

 

Veronica spoons a generous helping of mashed potatoes onto her plate, then passes the serving bowl to Logan, who's sitting to her right. They're over at her father's for Christmas Dinner, and like last year, they're sharing the meal with Marcia, Lianne and Hunter, though Dick isn't here this time—apparently he's living it up on a beach in Mexico for the holidays.

Admittedly, Veronica hasn't had a whole lot of contact with her mother and half-brother over the last year, given that she's been in Virginia for much of it, and rather pre-occupied with everything, so it's nice to catch up today. Hunter's growing up quickly; he recently turned ten years old, and is almost as tall as Veronica already. It's kind of strange for her to see him now, actually… the family resemblance is definitely there, more so than when he was six, but at the same time, there are obvious differences too, inherited from his father's side.

"So, the move went smoothly, Veronica?" asks Lianne, as she piles vegetables on her plate.

"Yeah, it did." Veronica nods. "Other than the incredibly long, uncomfortable flight, of course." She turns to Logan, a sarcastic note to her voice as she adds, "Honey, remind me not to take any more flights during this pregnancy, okay?"

"Noted," replies Logan with a smirk.

"Well, you won't have to, now that you're home," says Keith. "I'm glad you're back, both of you."

"Us too, Dad."

Conversation turns to Hunter and the new gaming system he got for Christmas, and as the boy excitedly tries to explain how it works to Keith and Marcia, Veronica reaches over and covers Logan's hand with her own, giving it a gentle squeeze. They share a warm smile, as Logan lifts the back of her hand to his lips. When they break eye contact, Veronica notices Lianne watching them with a soft smile, and she gives her a nod of acknowledgement in return.

Silence soon falls across the table as everyone digs into their food, however, as she starts gathering a bite's worth of meat and potatoes onto her fork, she stiffens, feeling a tightening in her stomach, followed by twinge of pain, and her hand comes to her belly in surprise.

"Are you okay?" Logan asks softly, leaning over towards her.

"Yeah." She nods, as the feeling disappears. "Yeah, I'm fine."

She tries getting the food as far as her mouth this time, but before she does, the tightness returns, only this time, it's a sharp, stabbing pain in her side. With a frown, and careful not to draw attention, she puts down her fork and pushes herself up out of the chair.

"I'm just going to the bathroom," she informs the table. "Back in a minute."

As naturally as she can, she walks through the bungalow to the bathroom, not wanting to worry anyone, but as soon as she's safely inside, she sinks back against the closed door, hands cupping her stomach as another wave of pain flows through her abdomen.

"Shit," she mutters through gritted teeth as she rides it out.  _What's going on?_

She manages to get herself over to the toilet, hoping maybe it's just a bad case of indigestion or something, but when she tugs down her underwear, she freezes, her body going numb.

She's bleeding.

She has abdominal pains and she's bleeding.

_Fuck_ , is all she can think.  _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

She can't even move; she's frozen to the spot, her gaze fixed on the bright red stain.

_This can't be happening. It just can't. Not now, not after everything._

Her breathing is starting come faster now, panic building as questions begin to run through her mind. Is this normal? What is she supposed to do now? Does she just ignore it, hope it goes away? Or maybe she should get it checked out?

A knock pulls her from the muddle that is her mind, and she blinks, staring at the door in confusion.

"Veronica?" It's Logan. "Are you sure you're okay? You've been in there a while."

"I—" she starts, but her voice cracks and she has to clear her throat. "I'll be out in a sec."

She tugs up her pants and underwear, then washes and dries her hands, trying to ignore the fact that they're shaking. Pulling open the door, she comes face-to-face with Logan, who is wearing his 'worried about Veronica' expression.

"What's wrong?" he asks immediately.

She doesn't try to pretend she's okay, because right now, she's terrified, so she just says simply, "Can you take me to the hospital? I think there's something wrong with the baby."


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a bit later than I usually post - it's actually Wednesday morning here, and I just woke up to realise I completely forgot to post the new chapter yesterday... so here it is now for you :).

**Christmas Day 2019**

**Twenty-Four Weeks Along**

"Fuck," Logan curses abruptly, taking in Veronica's pale face and the fear in her eyes. His chest constricts with sudden panic, even as he tries to stay calm. "Are you sure?"

"I don't know," she admits, one hand pressed against her stomach. "But right now, I have these sharp pains right here, and, uh… I'm bleeding."

"Shit!" he curses again, his mind racing. "Okay… Right. Okay. Let's go to the hospital."

His hand supporting her back, he guides her through the house, and as they enter the living room, the adults at the table sit up straight, expressions filled with worry when they see Veronica.

"Is everything okay?" asks Keith.

"Something's not right with the baby," Logan tells them tightly, trying to keep his voice calm. "I'm gonna take her to the hospital."

"We'll come with you," Keith insists, standing up and starting to move towards them.

"No, Dad, it's okay," Veronica speaks up then, sounding like she's trying for upbeat and chipper, even though Logan can hear the distress in her tone. "Stay here, enjoy your dinner. I'm sure it's nothing."

"Yeah, we don't all need to go," Logan agrees. "We'll call when we know what's up." Turning to Veronica, he adds, "Come on, let's get you in the car."

They exit the bungalow and he helps her into the passenger seat, frowning when she winces again, then hurriedly rounds the hood and climbs into the driver's seat. He pulls away from the curb and takes the fastest route to the hospital, the whole way hovering between trying to make the ride as smooth as he can for her and getting there as quickly as possible.

"You doing okay?" he asks, as they join the freeway.

Beside him, Veronica's hands cradle her stomach as she breathes through the pain, and the concern and anxiety start mounting inside him again.

"I'm sorry," she says between deep breaths. "I ruined dinner…"

"Don't you worry about that," he says immediately. "The only thing that matters right now is making sure you and the baby are okay."

"Oh God, what if this is my fault?" she says a moment later, her tone panicked. "I've been stressed with the move back… I mean, maybe I shouldn't have flown clear across the country at nearly twenty-four weeks. Shit, Logan, what if I've done something to cause this?"

"Of course you haven't," he assures her, even as he starts to wonder if maybe the massage this morning was such a good idea. "You've been doing everything you can to make sure the baby is safe and healthy."

"But what if—?"

"Veronica, stop." His voice is firm. He can't have her freaking out right now… not just because it can't be good for the baby, but also because if she starts panicking, he might too. "I'm sure everything will be fine."

"Yeah…" She's quiet for a moment, before she turns to him, her voice cracking as she says, "I can't lose this baby, Logan."

The pure anguish in her tone hits him square in the gut and he has to swallow down the lump that's starting to form in his throat before he can answer.

His tone is resolved and matter-of-fact as he states, "You won't."

* * *

"Veronica Echolls?"

Logan sits up straight, his hand tightening around Veronica's, as a doctor in a white lab coat steps through the curtain surrounding the cubicle in the ER, a small, black tablet in hand.

"Yes?" says Veronica from the ER hospital bed. She looks pale and drawn in the hospital gown, and Logan just wants to pull her into his arms and hold her tight. "What's wrong with my baby?"

"Well, I have some good news. The baby looks fine at this point: strong heart rate and plenty of movement inside the womb."

"Thank God," says Veronica with a sigh of relief. She looks to Logan and he gives an equally relieved smile in return.

"As for you, Veronica," the doctor continues. "Your ultrasound showed no signs of placenta praevia." When Logan shoots him a questioning look, he clarifies, "That's when the placenta attaches near or over the cervix, which can cause vaginal bleeding. However, it's not usually painful, and considering there is nothing in your notes about it being detected previously, that was unlikely to be the cause. However, I would like to send you for an MRI, just to rule out a couple of other things."

"Okay," she agrees with a nod.

"Someone will be in shortly to take you up," the doctor informs her.

Veronica's the one who nods this time, and as the doctor leaves, Logan turns to look at her. "How are you feeling?"

"Scared," she says softly. "Worried. Tired."

"I know." He runs his thumb over the back of her hand. "But it's gonna be alright. The doctor said the baby looks good, and you know that if it was an emergency, they'd be fixing it right now, and we wouldn't be sitting around waiting for an MRI."

"Yeah, I guess…" she murmurs, still not looking convinced. "But what about—?"

"Hey." He rises up off his chair, smoothing her hair back as he kisses her temple. "You're gonna be fine, both of you."

A moment later, a nurse appears and takes Veronica up for her MRI, leaving Logan twiddling his thumbs while he awaits her return. He makes it five minutes before he has to do  _something_  to pass the time, so he heads out to the hospital entrance to call Keith.

"Logan? How's Veronica?" Keith asks without preamble, his tone urgent. "And the baby?"

"The baby looks fine, and Veronica's doing okay," Logan tells him. "The pain has stopped, so that's good. I mean, they didn't, like, cart her off to surgery or anything, so I can only assume that means no imminent danger. She's having an MRI right now, to rule out anything serious."

"That doesn't sound too terrible." Logan can hear the relief in his father-in-law's voice. "Let me know when you know more."

"I will," he promises.

"Thank you for calling, Logan."

"Of course," he says softly. "We'll see you soon."

He ends the call, then exhales heavily, nerves on edge as he runs a hand through his hair and squints in the bright sunlight. He feels helpless and a little lost, which is strange, because he has no problem keeping cool and confident when faced with imminent danger out in theatre, but one small sign that something is wrong with Veronica and the baby, and he dissolves into an emotional mess.

With a shake of his head to clear it, he makes his way back inside the hospital building and heads for the small cafeteria, purchasing a much-needed coffee, before wandering the halls not far from Veronica's cubicle. The next thirty minutes feel like the longest of his life, but when he finally sees her being wheeled back down the hall, a heavy sigh of relief escapes his lips.

"Are you okay?" he asks, falling into step beside the hospital bed as the nurse manoeuvres it back into the cubicle.

He takes her hand in his, noting the exhaustion on her face, as he takes a seat beside the bed again.

She nods. "I'm okay."

"The doctor will be in to see you in a minute," the nurse informs them, before pulling the curtain back around the cubicle and stepping out.

"How did it go?"

"It was an MRI." Veronica shrugs. "They haven't told me anything yet."

He brings her hand to his lips, kissing the back of it gently. "I'm sure everything's fine."

A couple of minutes later, the curtain parts and the doctor appears in the cubicle once again, tablet still in hand.

"Okay, Veronica," he says. "I've had a look at your MRI results, and luckily, I don't see any cause for concern."

"Thank God," Logan responds with a relieved smile, squeezing Veronica's hand in his.

"What were you looking for?" Veronica asks with a curious expression.

"I wanted to check for signs of placental abruption."

"Placental what now?" Logan asks, feeling lost amongst the medical jargon, though by the way Veronica swallows and presses her lips together in a thin line, he gathers it's not a good thing.

"It's when the placenta separates from the uterus too early and causes internal bleeding. A large abruption can be very serious," the doctor informs him. "However, there was no sign of that in either your ultrasound or the MRI. Veronica, you and your baby appear to be perfectly healthy."

"Really?" Veronica exhales, dropping her head back against the pillows propping her up. "That's a relief."

"So, what caused the pain she was feeling earlier?" asks Logan.

"My best guess is that you were experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions," says the doctor.

"Already?" Veronica looks confused. "But I'm only twenty-four weeks."

"It's not that unusual. While it is more common to experience them in the later stages of pregnancy, they can be felt from around sixteen weeks," the doctor informs them. "They can be triggered by anything from exercise, to dehydration, to sexual intercourse or even just by someone touching your stomach."

"What about the bleeding, though?" Logan's still not completely convinced everything's fine.

The doctor nods in acknowledgment. "As the bleed wasn't heavy and has since stopped, it's likely to have simply been caused by a burst blood vessel. Nothing to worry about at this stage."

"That's good news." Logan relaxes, breathing a sigh of relief.

"However, Veronica," the doctor adds, "if you do experience any further bleeding or the contractions become more painful, come right back to the hospital, okay?"

"I will." Veronica nods in agreement. "Thank you, doctor."

The doctor gives a nod, and tells them Veronica is free to get dressed and go home. Logan helps her into her clothes and when the nurse reappears with a wheelchair, he offers his arm as support so she can slide herself off the bed.

Veronica takes one look at the chair and wrinkles her nose at it. "You know, I'm perfectly capable of walking."

"Hospital policy, I'm afraid," says the nurse.

"It's only for a couple minutes," reasons Logan, suppressing a smile at her refusal to show weakness. "I'm sure you'll manage."

"Okay, fine," she relents, before easing herself into the wheelchair. "But just to appease you."

When they reach the hospital entrance, Logan brings the car around and gets Veronica settled in the passenger seat. With a quick 'Happy Holidays' to the nurse, they head back to Keith's house.

"I'm sorry," says Veronica, as they drive, her hand coming up to rub her belly. "I ruined Christmas, didn't I?"

"Of course you didn't," Logan shoots her an incredulous look. "Don't be stupid."

She shakes her head. "I should have known it was only Braxton Hicks."

"Veronica… come on," he says. "You were worried about the baby. That's nothing to apologise for."

"But, still—"

"Veronica, seriously." Logan can't help but give a soft chuckle. "You didn't ruin  _anything_. You were right to get things checked out."

"Sorry," she says again.

"Hey, what did I just say?" Logan teases, holding up one finger in warning. "No more apologising. The only thing that matters is that you and the baby are both okay."

"I know."

"And now that we know you are, we can go back to your dad's and enjoy the rest of our Christmas."

She smiles, and Logan moves one hand off the steering wheel so he can take her hand in his. As they drive along the virtually empty freeway, he finally starts to relax.

_She's okay, the baby's okay. There's nothing to worry about._

* * *

**Late-January 2020**

**Twenty-Seven Weeks Along**

As Veronica tests out the glider chair they've purchased for the baby's nursery—formerly the small gym Logan had set up in the third bedroom—an amused smile spreads across her face. They've already painted the room in their chosen colour scheme of pale greens and yellows—she and Logan roped Mac, Wallace, Dick and Keith into helping last weekend—so now, they just have to fill it with furniture and things for the baby.

Right now, it's Sunday afternoon and Logan is sitting on the floor a few feet away, brow furrowed in concentration as he tries to puzzle out the instructions for putting Bud's crib together. He sighs, eyes scanning over the pieces of crib strewn across the floor in front of him.

"Are you  _sure_  you don't need any help?" Veronica asks from the chair.

"No, no, I'm fine," he insists. "You just relax, put your feet up."

"Okay…" She runs a hand over her bump as Bud kicks for what feels like the tenth time in the last hour. "It's just, you've been staring at that page for the last ten minutes."

He scowls. "I'm perfectly capable of putting a damn crib together, Veronica."

She suppresses a smile at his irritation. Once upon a time, Logan Echolls would have deemed manual labour beneath him.

"I didn't say you weren't."

He glances between the instructions in his hands and the disassembled crib before him, a frown marring his handsome features.

"What's the problem?" she can't help asking eventually.

He gives another sigh. "I don't know. There are supposed to be latch brackets to attach to the head and footboards, but I don't see them anywhere."

She lifts her feet from the foot stool and then eases herself up off the glider so she can kneel down beside him.

"Okay, lemme see." She reaches for the instructions, but Logan moves them out of reach with a frown.

"Veronica, I told you to stay in the chair."

"You did, huh?" She scoffs, only mildly offended as she grabs the papers from him. "Well, it's a good thing no one tells me what to do, huh?"

"Come on, you know what I meant," he says, by way of apology.

"Logan, I'm pregnant," she says, a hint of exasperation in her tone. "I'm not an invalid."

"I know that," he mutters petulantly.

"Well, then, stop treating me like one," she says, keeping her tone as light as she can, irritated but not wanting to get in a fight. "I know my body and what I'm capable of. If I need to take it easy, I will."

"Yeah, I know." He looks contrite. "Sorry."

"Thank you." She bumps him playfully with her shoulder then. "So, what's going on with this crib, then?"

She studies the instructions, then casts her eyes over the crib pieces thoughtfully for a couple of moments, before she realises what's wrong.

"Ah ha!" she says triumphantly.

"What is it?"

"Those latch brackets you were looking for… they're right there." She points to the headboard, then the footboard, before looking over at him a soft smile. "They're already attached, doofus."

He frowns, then flushes with embarrassment, before deflecting with, "Who're you calling doofus?"

She shrugs, and says lightly, "Not my fault if you can't see what's right in front of you."

He turns to face her, looking a little puzzled. "You know, you're kinda mean today."

Veronica winces, immediately regretting her words. "Sorry. I'm cranky, I know."

"Everything okay?" His expression becomes one of concern, something she would normally appreciate… if she wasn't feeling so grumpy today.

"Just one of those days, I guess." She runs a hand over her bump. "I'm tired and uncomfortable. My skin's all tight and itchy, and Bud's been treating my insides like a football all day."

"What can I do?" he offers without hesitation.

She smiles gratefully, before turning her attention back to the task at hand. "What you can do is let me help you put this crib together."

He finally gives a nod of acceptance, gesturing to the floor. "Have at it, Mars."

She can't stop the small smirk from tugging at her lips as she adds, "And then when we're done, you can give me a foot rub."

* * *

An hour later, the crib is assembled and sitting over by the far wall, and Veronica's relaxing in the glider chair again, flicking through a brochure filled with wall borders and stickers. Logan is perched on the foot stool in front of her, her feet in his lap as he gently massages them. His thumb runs across a sensitive spot in the arch of her foot and she flinches, letting out a soft giggle.

"Sorry." He glances up at her with a smile, then nods to the brochure in her hands. "See anything you like in there?"

"Hmm." She purses her lips thoughtfully, tilting her head as she considers the designs on the pages. "Not sure. There are some nice animal ones, but I don't know, they seem too… cutesy."

His smile widens. "Veronica, they're for babies; they're supposed to be cutesy. In fact, I think cutesy is mandatory."

"Maybe it's just me, then… I mean, cutesy isn't really my thing."

"Don't I know it," he quips lightly, causing her to frown.

"Hey!" She leans forward as much as she can at six months pregnant and swats his arm. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Ow." He grins, rubbing his arm. " _That_  was supposed to be a compliment, Mars. You know you're a badass."

"Yeah, I am." She nods in agreement, smiling.

"Let me have a look, then." He gestures for the brochure.

"Nu uh." Veronica holds it up out of his reach. "I don't think you've finished that foot rub yet."

Logan lets out a low whistle. "Geez, such a taskmaster."

"Okay, how about this," she proposes, "you carry on with those talented hands of yours and I'll hold this up so you can see it."

"Okay, fine." He rolls his eyes, though he doesn't hesitate in continuing with the massage.

"Hey, Echolls…" Veronica leans forward again, beckoning to him with her finger.

He looks up, then grins as he mirrors her movement. "Yeah?"

Veronica reaches for his shirt and tugs him even closer. "You finish up that amazing foot massage for me, and I'll make it totally worth your while in the bedroom later."

" _Really_?" His eyebrow rises, an indulgent smile spreading across his face. "What exactly did you have in mind?"

"It's a surprise," she says coyly, pulling him in for a kiss. "But think of it as an early anniversary celebration."

"Okay," he agrees quickly, but then sobers. "Wait a minute… this isn't gonna be in lieu of our actual anniversary celebration tomorrow, is it? Because if so, I might have to cancel some plans."

Veronica's eyes light up at that. "Ooh, what plans?"

"It's a surprise." He throws her own words back at her, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

She pouts. "Tease."

"I could say the same about you," he returns playfully.

"Okay, fine." She sighs in surrender, leaning in for another kiss. "I promise that whatever I do to you in the bedroom tonight will  _not_  be in lieu of anything that you might have planned for tomorrow night."

"Thank God for that," he replies, his fingers tightening around her foot, still in his lap, as he shifts back on the foot stool again. "Now, where were we?"

"Oh, right." She straightens, turning to the first page of the brochure and balancing it on her belly so Logan can see it.

Logan looks through the border designs thoughtfully, only releasing her foot to turn the pages, going through it twice before he smiles and gives an affirmative nod.

"See one you like?"

"Yep." He slips the brochure from her hands and turns it around. "This one."

Veronica takes one glance at it and shakes her head. "Nope."

"Aw, come on, V'ronica," he protests. "It's cool."

"Logan, it's covered in planes."

"So? Planes are cool."

"Maybe they are to you," she replies. "But for all you know, Bud might hate planes."

Logan gasps in faux outrage. "You take that back."

"Nope." She grins.

He holds her gaze for a moment before relenting.

"Okay, fine. No planes… at least not yet, anyway. But if Bud wants them later, I'm going all out." Flicking through the brochure again, he says, "How about this one?"

He holds it up to show her one of the designs she was actually considering herself: a row of cartoon monkeys hanging in various positions from green and brown vines.

"Yeah." She nods. "I like it."

"Cheeky monkeys for our little cheeky monkey," he jokes.

He closes the brochure and placing it down beside him on the stool, then lifts her feet from his lap and gently places them on the floor between his legs.

"Yeah…" she says softly, catching his eye as he looks up again. "Hey, Echolls… have I told you how much I love you yet today?"

"Hmm, let me think… uh, no, I don't think you have." He leans back, holding his hands up in invitation. "Go ahead."

"You know what, just for that, I'm not telling you."

"Ah, but you just did."

He catches his tongue between his teeth, though when she doesn't smile in return, he sobers and shifts forward again, resting his hands on her thighs.

"I love you, Mars."

Veronica smiles. "Love you, too, Echolls."

He captures her mouth in another kiss and when he pulls back, Veronica looks at him curiously.

"What?"

"You still call me Mars," she observes casually.

"Yeah…?" He looks a little confused, even as he nods slowly.

"How come?"

"I don't know." Logan frowns thoughtfully. "You've just always been Mars to me. Anyway, I thought you preferred it."

"I do," she says. "It's just… you only ever call me Echolls when we're joking around."

"There something wrong with that?"

"No," she says quickly. "No. Of course not. I mean…shit, I don't even know what I mean."

She really doesn't; in fact, she has no idea what she's trying to say right now. Just blame it on pregnancy brain.

Logan reaches out and tucks her hair behind her ear. "Do you  _want_  me to call you Echolls?"

"Not necessarily." Veronica shrugs. "It was just an observation."

"Okay…" He doesn't sound convinced.

"Look, don't mind me," she says, with a shake of her head. "Like I said: one of those days."

He frowns, but leaves it alone, straightening up and holding out his hands to her. She takes them and allows him to help her up.

"Okay, what's next on the agenda?" he asks, glancing around the room.

"I need some fresh air," she admits. "Wanna walk along the beach with me? We can take Pony out."

"Sure."

* * *

The next day, Veronica exhales heavily, resting back in her chair at the office, closing her eyes as her hands come to rest on her belly. She's been back working at Mars Investigations since the New Year, and even though she's enjoying sinking her teeth into detective work again, she's felt so tired lately that she's been struggling to concentrate on any of her cases.

She pries one eye open, gaze flitting from her double computer screens, which have about dozen windows open, to the pile of case files beside it. She really needs to get working on them… except… well, maybe a short nap won't hurt. After all, it's her anniversary; she needs all the energy she can get for tonight. Turning the chair towards the window, she closes her eyes again and starts to doze off.

"Well, well, look who showed back up." A voice from the doorway startles her awake again.

She turns her head towards the door, her eyes lighting up and a smile brightening her face as she takes in the familiar newcomer.

"Weevs," she says. "What are you doing here?"

"I should be askin' you the same," he nods in her direction as he takes a step inside the office. "Heard you were livin' out East now."

"We were," she says. "But Logan got transferred back to San Diego."

Swivelling the chair around to face him, she braces her hands on the armrests and pushes herself up to standing.

"Whoa," Weevil mutters, his eyes widening as his gaze falls to her stomach. "Echolls knocked you up, huh?"

"Well, I wouldn't exactly put it like that," she responds with a wry smile, as she rounds the desk, "but, yeah."

"Hey, congratulations." He steps forward to give her a hug. "How far along?"

"Thanks." Veronica nods, taking a step back. "Almost twenty-eight weeks."

"Well, uh, tell Opie congrats."

"Will do." She smiles. "So, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, uh, just stoppin' by," he says casually. "Gotta see the Sheriff about something."

Veronica can't suppress her smile. "You know, he hasn't been the Sheriff for over sixteen years."

He shrugs. "Yeah, well, old habits."

"How are you, Weevil?" she asks, genuinely curious. "And Jade, and Valentina? I haven't seen you in so long."

"We're doing good," he says. "Since the settlement, you know, things have been good. My baby girl is seven now, can you believe it?"

He pulls out his phone, shows her his screensaver—a gorgeous little girl with big, dark eyes and chocolate-coloured curls.

"She's beautiful."

"Yeah." He grins, pocketing the phone, before gesturing vaguely in her direction. "So, you're an Echolls now. Betcha never thought that would happen."

"Well, I still use Mars professionally," she says, as if that means anything. "But yeah, I am. Funny how things turn out, huh?"

"Yeah, funny," he agrees, his gaze dropping to her stomach again before he jerks his head in the direction of her dad's office. "Well, I better—"

"Yeah, yeah. Go," she says quickly. "Nice seeing you, Eli."

He grins. "You, too, Veronica."

* * *

That evening, after work, Logan surprises her with dinner at a fancy new restaurant located just along the coast. Veronica has to admit that part of her wishes he'd stuck to tradition and taken her to Mama Leone's, but this place is gorgeous, located in a secluded spot just off the beach and the food smells amazing, so she's willing to forgive him for that.

"So, chivalrous," she teases, when Logan pulls out her chair for her.

"I do my best." He flashes a charming smile as he makes sure she's comfortable and then takes his own seat.

When their drinks arrive—sparkling apple juice, since neither of them are drinking—Logan holds his glass up with a crooked smile. "Happy Anniversary, Veronica."

"Happy Anniversary, Logan."

She clinks her glass against his, before taking a sip and placing it back down on the table so she can study the menu.

"So, what's good here?" she wonders, running a finger down the list of Entrées.

"I've heard the steak is excellent," comments Logan, thumbing through his menu

"God, I can't wait until I can have my steak cooked medium-rare again," she comments, her mouth watering over the descriptions of the steak dishes. "Eating medium-well all the time sucks ass."

Across the table, Logan stifles a chuckle and she looks up at him in question.

" _Sucks ass_?" He flashes a grin. "Eloquent as ever, I see."

"You try going without decent steak for nine months," she shoots back. "See how you feel."

"Uh, Veronica…?" He raises an eyebrow at her expectantly.

"Oh, right," she says after a moment, when she realises what he's getting at. "Of course. All those months at sea."

"It's only for another, what, twelve weeks," he reasons. "Then you can have all the medium-rare steak you like."

Veronica stills, staring at him wide-eyed, realisation dawning.

"What?" He frowns in confusion.

"Twelve weeks," she manages, her throat suddenly dry. "The baby's gonna be here in  _twelve_  weeks, Logan. That's way too soon. I'm not ready." Her heart starts pounding as the enormity of this sinks in. "We haven't even started the Lamaze classes yet."

"Hey, it's okay… just breathe," Logan says reassuringly, reaching over to take her hand in his. "We still have plenty of time. You  _will_  be ready, okay?"

She nods, forcing herself to take long, slow breaths until her heart rate begins to return to normal.

"Sorry," she says, when she's feeling a little calmer. "It just hit me, you know? How close it's getting."

"It's okay. Totally understandable." He smiles. "And look how well that breathing thing worked for you. You've totally got Lamaze."

She scoffs, but returns the smile, then looks back down at the menu as a distraction. She's grateful when the waiter appears a moment later to take their orders.

"So, how was your day?" Logan changes the subject when the waiter leaves.

"Long and tiring," she admits. "I spent all day just wanting to sleep… in fact, I actually took a nap at one point. I did have a surprise visitor though: Weevil showed up."

"Weevs?" He gives a low whistle. "Wow, been a while. How's he doing?"

"Good, I think," she says. "It sounds like he and Jade have worked things out. And Valentina's seven now, would you believe?"

"Shit, seven?" Where  _does_  the time go?"

"I know," she agrees. "He showed me a picture of her and everything. She's cute."

Logan lets out a snort of amusement. "Who'da thunk it, huh? A seven-year-old girl has big, bad Weevs wrapped around her little finger."

Veronica tries not to smirk as she says, "Yeah, who would have thought?"

"What's that look for?"

"Oh, uh, nothing," she replies airily. "Just thinking maybe you shouldn't speak too soon." She rests her hand over her bump. "I have a feeling this little one is gonna have you wrapped tight around their little finger too."

"Oh, please," he dismisses with a scoff. "I have way more willpower than  _Weevil_."

She really does smirk now. "You say that now…"

"I do!" he responds indignantly.

"I'll believe it when I see it." He looks like he's about to protest further, so she quickly changes the subject, "Anyway, what about you, how was your day?"

He smiles then, relaxing back in his chair. "Pretty great, actually. We're making good progress with the training syllabus, and I even got an hour up in the air this afternoon too."

"Ah, so that's why you're in such a chipper mood this evening," she says.

Logan hasn't gotten much opportunity to fly the last few weeks, with all the upheaval of moving and then sorting out the new unit at North Island, and although he didn't explicitly mention it, she can tell he's been itching to take one of the jets up again.

"What can I say?" He shrugs with a smile. "Gotta love the adrenaline rush."

Their food arrives a moment later and they settle into comfortable silence as they dig in. Veronica can barely contain her appreciation for her steak. Even done medium-well, it's still one of the best steaks she's ever had.

She puts down her knife and fork and relaxes back in her seat, watching Logan as he scoops up a forkful of potato.

"No," he says out of nowhere, a smile playing on his lips.

"What?" She blinks in surprise.

He grins, glancing up at her. "No, you can't have any."

"I don't want any," she retorts, resisting the childish urge to stick her tongue out at him.

"Really?" He raises an eyebrow. "Because usually when you look at me like that, you're after my food."

"Logan, I don't want any of your food," she assures him.

"So, what was that look for?" he asks, still looking a little suspicious.

"If you must know, I was thinking about how much I love you."

"Oh." He looks suitably contrite at that response.

"Can you believe we've been married for two years already?" she says then.

"Kinda crazy, huh?" he agrees. "You know, Dick was only giving us a few months. Thought we'd kill each other before the first year was up."

Veronica's eyebrow shoot up in amusement. "Dick thought we'd kill each other  _while_  we were thousands of miles apart? What, he think we'd hire hitmen or something?"

"Yeah, well." Logan shrugs. "He's not exactly what you'd call an evil mastermind."

"Definitely not the mastermind part," Veronica snipes, feeling only a little guilty for it when Logan gives a long-suffering sigh,

"I know what you mean, though," he says, then, seemingly ignoring her snarky comment. "Did you ever imagine we'd get here: married, baby on the way... happy?"

"Well, I always hoped we'd be happy," she says. "But the rest… well, you know how I used to feel about marriage and kids, and look what happened."

"I know." He smiles widely, before sobering a little. "You don't have any regrets, though?"

"Of course not." Veronica reaches for his hand. "I love you, and I love our baby. There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

"Same here."

They share a warm smile, before Veronica nods to his plate.

"You'd better hurry up and finish that, because I want dessert."

"You and your obsession with dessert." Logan gives a small snort of laughter. "You know, it's a good thing your glucose screening test last week came back negative, because you were cranky enough fasting for that, let alone having to change your diet completely for the next few weeks."

"Hey!" she protests with a frown, before adding, "But, I mean, it's not just dessert. I hear there are gifts and bedroom celebrations waiting for us at home. So, chop, chop… time's a'tickin', Echolls."


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note: It seems that when I posted this earlier, chapter 20 came up as chapter 21 and no chapter 20 was showing up. After a quick investigation, it looks like somehow chapter 20 was saved as an unposted draft of chapter 19! Not quite sure what happened there, but I’ve deleted the draft so the chapter numbers should be correct now.

**Valentine's Day 2020**

**Thirty-One Weeks Along**

"Honey, I'm home."

Propped up on the bed, Veronica looks up from the case notes she's perusing as Logan enters the bedroom, dressed in his flight suit, with a playful grin on his face.

"Hey." She smiles back. "Good day?"

"Pretty good. Spent the afternoon running training sorties." He crosses the room, leaning down to give her a kiss. "Happy Valentine's."

"Happy Valentine's," she returns, watching Logan as he unzips his suit and tugs it down his arms, before stepping out of it and moving around to his side of the bed.

Clad in his regulation black t-shirt, boxer-briefs and socks, he settles down beside her on the mattress, scooting down so his head is level with her belly, and supporting himself on one elbow.

"Hey, there, Bud, it's Daddy," he says, running a hand across her stomach. The baby kicks in response and Veronica smiles. "You're awake, I see."

In the last couple of weeks, since he read that babies can recognise their parents' voices in the womb, Logan's started talking to Bud. It was amusing to watch at first, because he was a little awkward with it, but now it warms her heart to see and hear him telling the baby all kinds of cute things.

"Guess what, Daddy went flying today, in his fast plane," he says softly. "One day maybe I'll take you up in a plane, too."

_Be still my beating heart._ Veronica catches her lower lip between her teeth in an indulgent smile as she turns her attention back to the case notes before her. After all, knowing Logan, he'll be talking for a while, so she might as well get some more work done in the meantime.

She doesn't usually bring work home with her these days, but this one case has her stumped, and she can't stop puzzling over it. Don't tell her dad or Mac—or Logan, for that matter—but she snuck out on a little surveillance run this afternoon, justifying that it's not her fault that the subject of the case is an obstetrician and her pregnancy gave her the perfect opportunity to go undercover to gather information. Of course, now she's exhausted and her ankles are all swollen after being on her feet for so long, which is why she's working in bed and not at the dining table.

She spends a few more minutes reading through the case notes, as Logan keeps up a running commentary of his day to the baby, before yawning and reaching out to run her fingers through his hair.

He looks up at her with a closed-mouth smile that borders on a smirk. "Everything okay?"

"Uh huh." She smiles lazily, running her thumb across his temple. "Well, other than the usual backache, swollen ankles and constant need to pee."

"It'll all be worth it, though."

"Yeah, it will." She nods in agreement. "But I hope you weren't planning anything elaborate tonight, because I don't think I have the energy."

He shakes his head, then presses a kiss to her belly and sits up. "Don't worry, we're staying in tonight. I'm gonna prepare you a delicious home-cooked dinner."

"Really?" She hides a smirk. "You? Home-cooked dinner?"

"Hey, I can cook," he says in protest. "You know that."

"I know, I'm just kidding." She reaches for his t-shirt and tugs him in close for a kiss. "You go cook the hell out of that dinner."

She pulls him in and kisses him again.

"I will if you let me go," he says with a grin when they part.

"Sorry." She releases him, smoothing down his shirt.

"You just relax, okay? Take a nap, even." He slides off the bed. "I'm gonna shower first. You need anything before I do?"

"Nope." She shakes her head. "I'm good."

"Okay."

As he heads for the bathroom, Veronica moves the case notes to one side and relaxes back against her pregnancy pillow, her eyes sliding closed. Maybe she will take up Logan's suggestion for a nap…. just a short one, though.

* * *

**Late February 2020**

**Thirty-Two Weeks Along**

"You're not serious?" Mac stares at Veronica incredulously. "Veronica, you  _have_  to."

"No, I don't," Veronica retorts, shifting on the sofa opposite Mac's desk while they're taking a mid-afternoon break from casework.

"But it's tradition," Mac replies. "You can't  _not_  have a baby shower."

"Well, maybe I don't want one, Mac," her friend responds with a shrug.

"Aw, come on…" Mac tries to reason with her. "You don't wanna take advantage of all your friends showering you and your baby bump there with love and gifts?"

"I don't know… the whole thing just seems so contrived, you know?" says Veronica. "I mean, can you see us surrounded by streamers and banners, cooing over baby clothes and gossiping about impending motherhood? I don't think so."

"Okay, fair point," Mac concedes, wrinkling her nose at the thought. "But it doesn't have to be that kind of party. It'll be your day; we can do whatever you want."

"Mac, just leave it, yeah?" Veronica says then. "I don't need a baby shower, and I don't want you guys to waste your money on one."

"It wouldn't be like that—" Mac starts to protest, but stops at Veronica's stern look. She sighs. "Okay, fine. No baby shower."

"Thanks, Q." Veronica shoots her a grateful smile as she eases herself up off the sofa. "And on that note, I need to get back to work."

Mac's gaze follows Veronica as she heads back into her office and closes the door behind her. It doesn't seem right for Veronica not to do anything to celebrate the impending birth of her child. Maybe the usual sugary-sweet, baby-themed party isn't really her friend's thing, but surely there has to be something they can do for her.

With a thoughtful frown, she reaches for her phone and scrolls through the contacts. She hits the call button and brings the phone to her ear.

"Hey, Logan, it's Mac," she says when he answers. "You have a minute? I'm hoping you can help me with something."

* * *

**Early March 2020**

**Thirty-Four Weeks Along**

Veronica lets out a long exhale as she surveys her appearance in the bathroom mirror. She fluffs her hair, marvelling at how much longer and thicker it's become in the last few months—she's gonna miss it after the baby comes and her hormones return to normal.

Satisfied with her hair and make-up, she smooths her hands down over her dress, feeling self-conscious as she turns to the side, cradling her large belly in her hands and eyeing her reflection critically. She's seven-and-a-half months pregnant now—geez, where did the time go?—and feeling every inch and pound of it. If she's honest, all she really wants to do tonight is get into bed, put up her swollen feet, and veg in front of the TV. Instead, however, she's agreed to put on a dress and squeeze her feet into a pair of nice shoes, so she can accompany Logan to the base for a dinner to open the new F/A-18 unit at North Island and welcome the instructors and students to the squadron.

There's a light knock on the door and Veronica turns her head towards it just as Logan pokes his head into the bathroom.

"Hey, you just about read—?" He stops, moving fully into the bathroom as he takes her in. "Wow. You look  _amazing_."

Veronica glances down at the long evening gown she's wearing. It has a sweetheart neckline, with a lace overlay which reaches her collarbone, then there's a red ribbon which sits just below her breasts and ties at the back, giving her a pseudo-empire waistline, and from there the dress flows over her stomach and down to the floor.

"Yeah?" She turns to face the mirror again, pursing her lips and tilting her head to the side in consideration. "I don't know."

"I'm serious," says Logan, coming up behind her, his eyes locking with hers in the mirror as he lowers his mouth to her ear. "I don't think you've ever looked sexier."

Veronica shivers in response to both his words and the feel of his warm breath against her skin, though she can't quite bring herself to believe it.

"Believe me, right now I feel  _far_  from sexy," she says softly. "Look at me, I'm  _huge_. Logan, I don't even walk anymore, I just waddle."

"You're beautiful," he says, letting his fingers trail down her bare arm before resting his palm against the side of her belly.

"Thank you."

With an appreciative smile, she turns her head for a kiss, to which he eagerly complies. She doesn't realise her mistake until they part and she sees the red smeared across his lips.

"Shit. You've got lipstick…"

She turns toward him, reaching up to rub a thumb across his lower lip. When that doesn't work, she grabs a face-towel and wets it, then takes his chin in her hand and starts cleaning it off. His lips switch with amusement, but he doesn't say anything.

"There we go, all gone."

"Thanks." He shoots her a grin. "So, I just had this perfect image of you doing that with the baby." He reaches for her hand, before adding sincerely, "You're gonna be a great mom, Veronica."

She looks down, embarrassed and a little self-conscious. "Oh, I don't know…"

"I know you don't think so, but  _I_  do," he says. "I'm not saying it's gonna be easy, or that we'll even know what we're doing, but what I do know is that we're gonna love this baby more than anything, and we're gonna do everything in our power to give him or her the best life we can."

"Wow, that was…" she murmurs softly, touched by the sincerity in his words, then adds emphatically, "Yeah,  _you're_  gonna be an awesome dad."

"I hope so." His smile is almost nervous and Veronica brings her palms to his chest in reassurance.

She frowns, though, when her fingers brush over the medals pinned to his jacket, and she takes a step back to give him a once-over, her gaze travelling up and down his form appreciatively.

"Wow," she murmurs, fanning herself. "How do you manage to look  _so_  good in uniform?"

He holds his hands out, glancing down at himself. "You like, huh?"

"God, yes." She catches her bottom lip between her teeth as she looks him up and down again.

He's clad in his dinner dress blues, which consist of black shoes, pressed navy blue trousers, a formal white shirt with gold cummerbund, navy bowtie and fitted navy blue jacket with gold trim and the aforementioned medals pinned to the left breast panel. He looks delectable.

"Hmm, think we've got time for a quickie?" she wonders, shooting him a grin.

"No. We don't," he says quickly and firmly, shaking his head as he takes a step backwards. "So, please, don't tempt me."

"Aww, come on," she teases, closing the gap between them and running a finger down the centre of his chest. "Remember what they said in Lamaze class about sex being a good way to prepare the body for labour?"

A smirk tugs at Logan's lips, but he's quick to suppress it. "Be that as it may, we seriously don't have time. We have to be in San Diego by seven."

As he turns towards the bathroom door, Veronica gives a long-suffering sigh.

"All right, fine," she says. "But when we get home later—if I'm still awake—I am going to  _fully_  appreciate you in those dress blues."

He spins on his heels, spreading his arms with a flourish. "Appreciate away, my dear."

* * *

Just over an hour later, they arrive at the Officer's Mess building on the base. Logan helps Veronica out of the car and then escorts her into the bar area, where the evening's reception is being held. As Veronica understands it, there will be drinks and a few speeches first, including one from Logan, since he's been heavily involved in getting the unit off the ground, followed by a sit-down dinner to welcome the transferring pilots to the new squadron.

Logan makes sure she's set up with something to drink, then heads over to his new Commanding Officer, to get ready for the speeches. Veronica has never felt completely comfortable at these kind of events, but tonight she's feeling extra conspicuous, given that not only is she wearing bright red, but she also looks like a beached whale. She finds herself a spot near the back of the room and sips at the glass of orange juice she's holding, trying not to draw attention to herself. Normally, this would be the point where she'd pull out her phone and busy herself with it, but it seems inappropriate to do that at a formal military function like this.

As the CO steps up onto a small podium at the front of the room and welcomes everyone to the evening, Veronica lets her gaze roam the crowd. There are maybe fifty people here, more than half of them wearing the same dinner dress blues as Logan, and most of them accompanied by a wife or girlfriend, though there are two women standing in front of her and just to the side, who are dressed in what she assumes is the female version of dress blues: navy blue jacket, long, straight navy skirt, low black heels, and hair tied back in a low bun. Veronica has to admit that, even though it shouldn't be, it's a little odd to see female pilots here, and it strikes her as kind of sad that the armed forces are still so male-dominated, even in today's society. 

The Commanding Officer finishes his short speech—which Veronica wasn't actually paying much attention to—and then introduces Logan to the podium to a warm applause.

"Thank you, Commander Williams. Good evening, sirs, ma'ams, ladies and gents," he starts formally, though his lips quirk slightly at the end… something Veronica's sure everyone else thinks nothing of, but she recognises it as one of his trademark amused smirks.

"It's a pleasure to see you all here tonight." His gaze travels around the room, stopping briefly on Veronica for a moment, before he continues speaking. "I recognise a few familiar faces, but there are a number of new ones, so I'd like to welcome you all to the new unit. As the Commander said, I'm Lieutenant Echolls. I'll be one of your SFTIs here at North Island."

He goes on to explain a little more about how the new F/A-18 unit has been put together and what the aims of the squadron will be over the coming months. As much as she enjoys listening to Logan's smooth timbre and admiring how comfortable he is in this environment, Veronica finds herself tuning out when he starts throwing in acronyms and various other references she doesn't have a clue about.

He wraps it up a minute or so later, and catches her eye as he starts to make his way back across the room. Unfortunately, the baby decides to press down on her bladder right at that moment, so she gestures to him that she's going to the bathroom and he nods in response, stopping to chat to a couple of people instead.

She enters the bathroom, heading for a cubicle to relieve herself. As she struggles to pull up her underwear without the baby getting in the way and everything getting all caught up in her dress—why did no one tell her how hard it is to use the bathroom when you're over seven months pregnant?—she hears two women enter the bathroom.

"Have to say, I'm definitely looking forward to training starting now," one of them says as Veronica hears them lock the other two cubicles.

"Now?" the other queries. "You weren't before?"

"No, I was, but did you get a look at Lieutenant Echolls?" the first replies. "He's  _hot_. I mean, I certainly wouldn't kick him out of bed."

Unlocking her cubicle door, Veronica's eyes widen in surprise, even as she smirks.  _Well, the lady's not wrong._

"Uh, Sam, he's your superior, remember?" the second voice adds.

"Is he, though?" Sam responds. "I mean, we're all the same rank."

"You know what I mean," the second girl sounds slightly exasperated. "He's an instructor. He'll be  _our_  instructor."

_If only Logan could hear this,_  Veronica muses, suppressing a chuckle as she washes her hands. _Bet crushes aren't something he has to deal with often in the Navy… ooh, unless any of his male students ever had a thing for him. I'll have to ask sometime._

The toilets flush almost simultaneously, and then both women emerge from the cubicles. As they head for the sinks, they nod and smile briefly at Veronica, who smiles back in greeting.

"Okay, so he'll be our instructor," Sam concedes. "It's not ideal."

"No, it's really not." The second woman gives her friend a disapproving look and Veronica can't keep quiet anymore.

"He  _is_  kinda hot, isn't he? That uniform? Wow," she says, leaning towards them conspiratorially, as she flashes a smile. "I mean, if I wasn't happily married, and you know, pregnant and all…"

"See, Jess?" Sam gestures to Veronica. "She gets it."

"He's probably got a girlfriend, though," adds Veronica casually. "Or maybe a wife."

"You think?" Sam tilts her head to one side in consideration.

"A guy that good-looking? Probably." Jess replies, as Veronica tries to keep a straight face.

She's surprised they don't recognise her, actually. Although she and Logan have managed to mostly stay under the radar, now and then, there's still the odd gossip column entry about him—like when they got married, and after he was accepted to Top Gun training. Luckily, it seems that unless celebrity offspring are running around getting drunk or high every week… or arrested for murder, of course… the tabloids don't much care about them.

Veronica dries her hands, mentally congratulating herself for not even feeling the slightest hint of jealousy over these women finding Logan attractive, then gives herself a once-over in the mirror before nodding to the two women and heading for the door. Pulling it open, she finds Logan pacing the mess lobby a few feet away. He stops when he sees her, giving a relieved smile.

"There you are, I was getting worried," he says, coming to a stop in front of her.

She shoots him a bemused look. "I was checking my hair and make-up."

"Right. Hair and make-up," he mutters. "And here I was concerned something might be wrong with the baby."

"Logan, I'm fine." She reaches for his hand, squeezing it reassuringly. "Everything's fine."

"Sorry," he apologises, leaning down to kiss her lightly. "It's just getting close now, you know?"

"I know." She smiles in understanding. "But if something was wrong, I would have called you."

"Yeah, I know."

"Come on." She tugs on his hand. "Let's go back in."

They head back into the bar, and Logan goes to get them more drinks while they wait to be called into the dining hall for dinner. Across the room, Veronica spots Sam and Jess reappearing from the cloakroom. She watches in amusement as Sam's interested gaze first lands on Logan, then slides to Veronica standing beside him. Logan slips his arm around her waist, dropping a kiss to the top of her head, and Sam's eyes widen in surprise and realisation. Trying to keep a straight face, she gives Sam a smile and a nod, raising her glass of orange juice in acknowledgement. Sam returns the nod, but frowns, looking a little miffed, before turning to Jess… presumably to share her discovery with her friend.

"You okay?" asks Logan then, noticing her distraction.

"Yep." She smiles up at him. "I'm fine… just looking forward to dinner."

"It'll only be a few more minutes," he assures her with a smile.

"Good." She nods. "'Cause I'm starving."

* * *

"Thanks for coming tonight," Logan says, tugging off his jacket as they enter their bedroom later that night. He drops it onto a chair, then removes the cummerbund and bowtie, and starts unbuttoning his shirt. "I know you'd have preferred to stay home."

"It was nice," she says, kicking off her shoes and sighing with relief as her bare feet sink into the plush carpet.

She turns her back towards Logan and brings her hair over one shoulder. Taking the hint, he steps up behind her, hands coming to the back of her dress as he undoes the satin tie and then lowers the zipper.

"You know, this dress really does look amazing on you," he says softly.

He slides his hands under the lace, his palms flattening against her shoulder blades, and the touch of his warm hands causes her to shiver. He eases the material over her shoulders, his hands sliding down her arms as he goes. Veronica's eyes slide closed at the feel of his fingers brushing across her skin and his warm body pressed up against her back. It's late and she's exhausted from the effort of socialising tonight, but her nerves are suddenly tingling with anticipation.

As Logan eases the dress down over her large stomach and lets it fall to the floor, leaving her in just her underwear, she murmurs, "You know, you caused something of a stir yourself tonight."

"I did?" His hands come to rest on her pregnant belly as he nuzzles her neck.

"Uh huh." Veronica tilts her head to the side to give him more access. "I bumped into a couple of female officers in the bathroom who were discussing how hot you were."

He smiles against her skin. "I hope you told them I was very much taken."

"Well… first I agreed that you do look very hot in that uniform," she informs him, "and then I casually suggested you might have a wife or girlfriend."

"But you didn't tell them it was you?" He sounds amused.

"Now, where would the fun in that be?" she retorts.

'You're weird sometimes, you know that?"

"I know." She grins. "But you love me for it."

"I do," he confirms, though he hesitates, like he wants to say more.

"What is it?" she questions softly, her curiosity piqued.

"Nothing," he says vaguely, hands gently curving around her stomach.

"Seriously, tell me," she insists.

Logan shakes his head, though he appeases her anyway. "It's just… well, there was a time you'd have been reaching for the piano wire after hearing a conversation like that."

Veronica tilts her head thoughtfully, pausing before she answers. It's true; she can't deny that. A few years ago, even just the thought of another woman being attracted to Logan would have made her irrationally jealous, but things are different now. She's a mature adult; they both are. They're married, with a baby on the way… and if she's honest, she's never felt more secure in a relationship, or more loved, than she does right now. Because now, she  _knows_  Logan loves her more than anything in the world, just like she loves him; and now, she can accept that as the truth without always looking for hidden meanings or waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"I trust you," she says simply. "I trust that you love me and want to be with me, and that you would never cheat on me."

Behind her, Logan is silent for a long moment and the words seem to just hang suspended in the air, until he eventually murmurs, "Wow."

"You sound surprised," she muses, turning her head so she can see him.

"No, I—it's just…" His hands move across her stomach and Veronica feels the baby move in response. "It means a lot to hear you say that."

Veronica presses her lips together, pushing down the lump that's beginning to form in her throat, before forcing a smile. "You doubted it?"

"No," he says. "But sometimes it's reassuring to hear."

She nods. "Yeah, it is."

He lowers his mouth to her ear again. "Just so you know, I love and trust you completely, too."

She smiles. "I know."

Logan's hands slide up to cup her breasts over her bra and the atmosphere between them changes, the conversation forgotten. A sigh escapes her lips as he massages them gently, thumbs brushing across her nipples. Her body begins to hum with desire, suddenly aching to feel him inside her.

"Hmm, feels good," she murmurs softly, leaning back against him.

"You're not too tired?" he queries.

"Well, I am," she acknowledges, "but I want you more."

He drops a kiss to her neck. "If you're sure?"

"I'm sure." Veronica nods, turning her head towards him. "Make love to me, Logan."

He smiles, then angles his mouth over hers, his answer evident in the kiss. When they part, he steps back and sheds the remainder of his clothes, before returning to her again and gently unhooking her bra, then sliding her maternity underwear down her legs. It's not the sexiest of undergarments, but Veronica couldn't care less these days; comfort is key right now.

"What's tonight's preference?" he asks, his fingers running lightly across her shoulder-blades

"Hmm, let's see…"

Veronica considers her options; they've been somewhat limited with positions lately, given the late stage of her pregnancy, and while her being on top was their go-to in the second trimester, in the last few weeks, she's been finding it too tiring to maintain. The most comfortable positions lately have been doggy-style or spooning. Neither are as intimate as she prefers, but sometimes you just have to work with what you've got.

She's tempted by doggy-style, but she's not sure she has the energy for even that tonight, so that means it'll be option number two.

"Be my big spoon?" she asks softly.

"Sure." He smiles, taking her hand and leading her over to the bed, helping her get settled before removing the rest of his clothes and getting comfortable behind her.

He slips a hand between her legs, making sure she's ready for him, before carefully sliding into her. Veronica grips the pillow with one hand as he makes slow, gentle love to her, punctuating each stroke with kisses to her shoulder and back of her neck. His hand comes to the underside of her belly and she covers it with her own, slipping her fingers between his. The air is filled with gasping sighs—mostly hers—and soft grunts—mostly his, and when she comes, Logan following just seconds later, the euphoric sensation of orgasm rolls through her entire body like a wave.

Of course, it's just at that moment that the euphoria twists into something else entirely. Veronica gasps as her belly tightens uncomfortably, a cramping ache rolling through her mid-section.

"Ow," she manages between gritted teeth, extracting her hand from Logan's and rubbing her stomach. "Shit."

"What's wrong?" Logan is immediately on the alert, quickly releasing her and rising up on one elbow. "Fuck, did I do something?"

"No, it's not you," she says. "I think it's just Braxton Hicks again."

"Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure." She nods, pressing her lips together as the cramping continues. "The doctor said they can be caused by sex, remember?"

"Yeah…" He sounds uncertain.

"It's okay, I looked it up," she assures him. "It said they can be triggered by the release of oxytocin, which makes the muscles contract, and by prostaglandins in sperm, which soften the cervix."

"Really?" he murmurs. "I didn't know that."

"I thought you'd read the pregnancy books?" she replies, running her hand over her belly as the tightening begins to subside. "It's all in there."

"Ah, well…" he says awkwardly, his hand joining hers. "I may have skipped over some of the more… intimate details."

Veronica gives a soft chuckle at that. "Logan, you know you're gonna be in the delivery room with me, right? You're not gonna be able to escape those intimate details."

"Yeah… I know," he agrees, a little uncomfortably. "Guess I'd better get back to reading then."

"Yes, you should," she replies, though her eyebrows draw together in a frown.

She only has a few weeks to go now, and sure, they've attended a couple of Lamaze classes already, and she knows the basic mechanics of what's going to happen when she goes into labour, but she doesn't know if she's ready for the reality of it all yet. She's been conveniently avoiding watching any childbirth videos, subconsciously deciding she's just going to take things as they come… for as long as she can anyway. Because if she actually sees it for real, she might never want to actually go through with it.

She sucks in a sharp breath as she feels another contraction tighten her belly; it's not painful, exactly, but it is uncomfortable, like really bad period cramps.

"Can I do anything?" asks Logan softly.

Veronica shakes her head. "I don't think so. It'll pass. I just need to relax." She licks her dry lips and then clears her throat. "Uh, actually, on second thought… think you could get me a glass of water?"

"Sure." Logan breaks their contact and slides out of the bed. "I'll be right back."

He pulls on a pair of boxer-briefs and heads into the bathroom. Veronica can hear the toilet flush and then the water running for a couple of minutes, before he returns with her requested water in hand. He places the glass on the nightstand and then helps her into a nightshirt and panties, and gets her settled against her pregnancy pillow.

"You good?" he asks softly, joining her in the bed.

"Yeah," she replies. "Think so. Thanks."

"No problem."

"Night, Logan."

"Goodnight, Veronica."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of last week, I'm now deployed overseas again, with a busy work schedule and limited internet access. I don't currently have the next chapter written, so while I'm hoping to be able to post again in 2 weeks, I'm not sure how much writing I'll be able to get done between now and then.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm posting this chapter much earlier than I usually do on a Tuesday, but I'm overseas at the moment and the internet has been playing up the last couple of days, so I'm updating now while I have a decent connection.

**Late March 2020**

**Thirty-Seven Weeks Along**

Logan arrives home from the base Wednesday afternoon to find the kitchen cupboards open, the counters covered in cans, bottles and various utensils, and Veronica standing on a small stool as she scrubs frantically at the inside of one of said cupboards.

"What  _are_  you doing?" he asks, announcing his presence.

"What does it look like?" she responds, not looking at him as she scrubs at one particular spot. "I'm cleaning."

"I see that," he acknowledges, "but why?"

"Because our cupboards are filthy," she responds. "I mean, when was the last time we actually deep cleaned this kitchen?"

"I don't know," he replies. "But I don't see why  _you_  have to do it. Especially not in your state. We can get someone in—"

"Excuse me? In  _my_  state?" She stops, turning her head to glare at him.

"Just don't want you overexerting yourself," he says quickly. "But I see you're doing fine, so forget I said anything."

"Well, I should think so." She huffs, turning back to the task at hand.

Logan watches her work for a few moments, before piping up with, "So, are you going to be long? 'Cause I was thinking we could go out to eat tonight."

"Well, I have to finish this cupboard, then reorganise everything so it'll be out of reach of the baby, and then I need to put child locks on the doors."

Logan blinks in confusion. "And you have to do all that right now?"

"Yes. Why?"

"It's not like a newborn is going to be able to open our kitchen cupboards," he says. "Surely, this stuff can wait a few months?"

"No, it can't," she insists. "I need to get all this done before the baby comes."

"But I really don't think—" Logan stops, suddenly realising what's going on. "Wait, this is that nesting thing I was reading about, isn't it?"

"No," she says, though her response is weak.

"Yes, it is," he says, his confidence building. "The pregnancy books say the body can sense that the baby is coming soon and nesting is this instinctual thing that women do to get ready for it."

"No, it's…." She trails off, before glancing around her and amending, "okay, maybe it is."

Logan smiles. "You want help putting everything back?"

"No, I can do it," she insists.

"You sure?"

"I just said I'm good," she replies, irritated. "I don't need any help."

"All right, fine." Logan holds his hands up in surrender. "But the child locks can wait, okay? Because I  _am_  taking you out for dinner tonight."

"Okay." She nods, relenting. "I'll do the child locks tomorrow."

"Great." He flashes her a smile.

"Just gimme, like, an hour to finish this and get ready."

"Sure." It's his turn to nod. "I'll go take a shower while you finish up."

"Okay."

"Be careful, though," he adds, eyeing her with concern when she stretches up to reach the back of the cupboard, balancing precariously on the stool as she does so. "I don't want you ending up in the ER tonight because you've slipped off that stool."

Even though her back is turned to him, he can picture her rolling her eyes at him right now. "I'll be fine, Logan."

With a shake of his head, he leaves her to it and heads down the hall to their bedroom. Pulling off his uniform, he turns on the shower and steps under the hot spray, sighing with relief as the water beats down over his head and shoulders, relaxing his tight muscles. As he soaps up, he reflects on the last few weeks since training officially began at North Island. As great as it is to be living in Neptune again, his workload on base is now higher than it was in Virginia. There's a lot more to setting up an entire new squadron training unit than he originally thought, and couple that with the fact that Veronica hasn't been sleeping well lately—the baby keeping her up at all times of the night—which means he hasn't slept that well either, and it's been taking a lot out of him.

_That's nothing compared to what it'll be like with a new baby at home_ , a small voice in the back of his head reminds him.  _But maybe this is good practice for it._

They're getting down to the wire now—only three weeks until Veronica is full-term. On the one hand, he can't wait to meet the child she's been carrying inside her for the last eight months, but on the other… he's scared shitless.

_We'll get through it_ , he tells himself resolutely.  _We'll work it out. Together._

He rinses and turns off the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist as he steps out. Rubbing a second towel over his face and hair, he heads back into the bedroom and dresses in a button down and a pair of slacks. After running a comb through his hair and splashing on some cologne, he returns to the kitchen to find Veronica now standing on the floor beside the stool, looking down at a collection of cans forlornly.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

She looks up at him with a dejected expression. "I can't reach the shelf to put them back."

"Oh." Logan tries to keep a straight face. "Well, how did you get them down in the first place?"

"Uh… sheer force of will?" she offers, looking sheepish.

"Right." He nods, waiting expectantly for her to ask for his help. When nothing comes, he adds, "So, how are you planning to get them back up there?"

Her expression turns to one of slight irritation. "You're gonna make me say it, aren't you?"

Logan folds his arms across his chest smugly. "Yep."

"Fine." She sighs. "Logan, please help me put these cans back?"

He smiles. "Of course. Just tell me where you want them."

With Veronica's direction, he places the remaining cans up on the top shelf of the cupboard, then turns to her, bowing his head slightly as he says, "Hope that was to your satisfaction, ma'am."

"It certainly was. Thank you, Lieutenant," she replies, stepping up onto the stool again to level their height difference and angling her body so that she can give him a kiss without her belly getting in the way.

"No problem." He smiles. "You ready to go for dinner?"

"Just let me change first?"

"Sure."

He follows her back into the bedroom and lounges on the bed as she gets ready. His eyes follow her as she pulls off the large Navy sweatshirt she's commandeered from him and the stretchy maternity sweatpants she's wearing, then turns to look at herself in the mirror, her hands smoothing over her large bump as she frowns.

"These stretch marks are multiplying by the day," she mumbles to herself as she reaches for the tube of cream on the dresser. "I can't keep up."

"Here, let me do it," offers Logan, sitting up and holding out his hand for the stretch mark cream.

Veronica obliges, coming to stand in front of him and handing it over. Logan squeezes a dollop into his palm and then gently begins to massage it into her skin. As his hand moves across her belly, he feels the baby move in response and what looks like a handprint presses out against Veronica's skin. Logan smiles, his heart warming as he runs his fingers over the spot. He looks up at Veronica to find her smiling too, her gaze fixed on his hand.

"I can't wait to meet him or her," he says softly.

"Me either," she agrees. "And I wouldn't mind it being sooner rather than later. Not sure how I'm going to get through another three weeks of this."

"You're doing fine," he assures her.

"Easy for you to say," she responds. "You don't have to carry around thirty pounds of extra weight all the time."

"No, I don't," he agrees, continuing to rub the cream into her skin until he's covered all the stretch marks he can see. "But if I could, I would. For you."

"Aw, so sweet." She takes his chin in her hand and lowers her mouth to his.

"I do my best," he responds when they part, smoothing his hand over her bump one last time. "Okay, I think you're all done."

"Thank you."

He stands, returning the cream to the dresser.

"Do we  _have_  to go out for dinner?" Veronica asks then. "Can't we just stay in, order take-out or something?"

"Veronica, we've stayed in for the last two weeks," he reasons. "I think we deserve a nice evening out, don't you?"

She glances toward her closet. "Yes, but—"

"Don't worry," he cuts in, "it's not going to be  _dinner_  dinner, you don't have to get dressed up. Just wear whatever you feel comfortable in."

She sighs. "You couldn't have told me that  _before_  I took off the sweatshirt and pants?"

"I meant something  _nice_  that you feel comfortable in," he amends quickly.

"Okay, okay," she mutters, moving to the closet. "I'll find something nice."

Fifteen minutes later, she's dressed in a pair of black maternity trousers and a pretty tunic top and they're ready to go. Until that is, they get to the front door, and after three unsuccessful attempts to get her shoes on, Veronica looks up at Logan with yet another pleading expression. With a smile, he crouches down and helps her slip them on.

"This must be killing you, huh?" he muses as he stands up. "Needing my help with this stuff."

"Don't remind me," she grumbles. "The sooner this baby is out of me, the better."

"You know, there's nothing wrong with asking for help," he says. "It doesn't make you weak."

"I know that," she mutters with a hint of annoyance.

"But that independence of yours is hard to let go of," he says knowingly.

"Yeah," she admits. "It is."

Logan smiles, leaning in to kiss her forehead. "Come on, Miss Independent, let's go."

"That's Mrs. Independent to you," she responds, though a smile plays on her face as she says it.

"I'm sorry, my mistake."

* * *

Veronica looks around the surf-themed restaurant with a smile. Logan hadn't been lying when he said they weren't going anywhere fancy; he's brought her to the same diner she and her father used to frequent when she was in high school. She hasn't been here in ages, but the atmosphere is still warm and welcoming, and the ample size of the booths and the nicely padded seats means she can relax back against the partition and rest her legs on the bench.

"Comfortable?" Logan asks from the other side of the booth, where he's mirroring her position.

A plate of fries sits between them, along with two discarded soup bowls and a half-eaten bowl of salad.

"Uh huh." She nods, snagging a fry and popping it into her mouth. "Good choice of establishment."

"Yeah." He smiles and grabs a couple of fries for himself. "I hear they still do their famous ice cream sundaes too."

"Oh, I  _know_  they do," she replies smugly. "I already checked the dessert menu."

"Of course you did."

They finish up the fries and remaining salad, and then order a hot fudge sundae to share. Maybe it's her pregnancy taste-buds, but somehow the ice cream tastes better than Veronica remembers… in fact, it's one of the best things she's put in her mouth for a long time. She says as much to Logan and he—of course—can't keep the smirk off his face as he makes an innuendo-filled remark about something else she may have put in her mouth recently.

When there's nothing more than a sloppy mixture of melted ice cream and hot fudge sauce left in the bottom of the sundae glass, Logan pays the bill and they take a walk along the beach.

"Can you believe that this time last year we'd just moved to Virginia?" Veronica muses as they amble along the sand, Logan's arm looped around her lower back for support. "We should still have been there."

"Yeah," Logan agrees. "Time flies, huh?"

"You don't regret coming back? I mean, we were supposed to have been there for another year and a half."

"Of course not." He looks down at her incredulously. "Neither of us were happy there."

"I know." She nods. "It's just that… I mean, if it weren't for me, you would have stayed there until the end of your shore rotation."

Logan shakes his head. "Veronica, if it weren't for you, my life would be an empty, meaningless shell right now. I would have stayed there because I wouldn't have had any reason not to. I would have been going through the motions of life, but not really living it."

"Oh." She looks down, her hand coming to her belly and caressing it gently.

"Yeah." He nods in confirmation, fingers gently squeezing her waist. "Veronica, you coming back into my life was the  _best_  thing that ever happened to me."

She takes that in, the seriousness of his tone, the emphasis he adds to the words, and her heart swells with love and affection.

She stops, turning to face him as she says with equal seriousness, "You coming back into  _my_  life was the best thing that ever happened to me, too."

He smiles indulgently, lowering his head to kiss her. It's not a passionate, all-consuming kiss, but it is one filled with love and promise and contentment. When they part, Logan rests his forehead against hers for a moment, before straightening up and sliding his arm back around her.

They start walking again, in comfortable silence at first, but then Veronica speaks up.

"So, I've been thinking about something lately."

"Yeah?"

"About how, when we got married, we decided I would take your name so that if we had kids we would all have the same name…"

"Yeah?" Logan repeats.

"Well, it's just…. I know you want to carry on the Echolls name, make something good out of it, but it occurred to me the other day that when my dad is gone, there'll be no one left to carry on the Mars name."

"Really?" Logan frowns. "There's no one else in your family to continue it?"

Veronica shrugs. "My dad only has one sister, and she changed her name when she got married."

"Oh," is Logan's response. "So, uh, what are you suggesting?"

"I don't know … exactly," she says. "But since we had that conversation the other week about you still calling me Mars, I've been wondering if there's a way I can carry on the Mars name too."

"Hmm." Logan makes a considering noise. "You mean like hyphenating our names? I thought you decided that was too pretentious."

"I did, at the time," she admits, "but now, maybe I'm reconsidering."

"Really?" He sounds thoughtful. "Would that involve both of us changing our names?"

"I haven't really looked into it in much detail." She gives a shrug. "Why?"

"Just not sure if that's something the Navy would allow for male officers."

Veronica frowns. "You think they wouldn't? God, what century are they living in?"

"Tell me about it."

"You didn't look into it before we got married?"

"Not really," he says. "You'd already dismissed the idea, so I didn't see much point. I'll see what I can find out though."

"Thanks," she says. "I just don't want Mars to die with my father, you know?"

"I know," he agrees. "You've still got the business name under Mars though."

"Yeah, but that may not last forever."

"Fair enough," he concedes. "Okay, we'll look into it. I'll see what I can find out at work tomorrow."

"Thanks." Veronica smiles as she leans into him slightly.

They continue along the beach for a few more minutes, until Veronica realises how much more tiring it is to walk on sand when you're carrying thirty extra pounds of baby weight, and insists they turn back in the direction of the car.

* * *

**End March 2020**

**Almost Thirty-Eight Weeks Along**

Logan smiles to himself as he pulls out of the base early Monday afternoon, the top down on his car. He's managed to bag himself a half-day, and now he's on his way back to Neptune. In the mood for the scenic route, he gets off the 5 and follows the windy coastal roads instead. About halfway home, he pulls the car into one of the beach parks, inhaling the fresh sea air as he climbs out and wanders over the rocks. Finding a suitable place to sit, he makes himself comfortable and gazes out at the rolling waves.

He's turning thirty-two today.  _Thirty-two_. He shakes his head. There was a time when he didn't think he'd make it to twenty-two, let alone thirty-two, yet here he is: alive and healthy… and  _married_ , with a baby due in just a couple of weeks.

Who would've thought it, huh?

And actually, that's not even the craziest part.

No, the craziest part is that he's been in love with Veronica for half his life now. They might have only been together for a collective total of about five years out of the last sixteen, but he can barely remember a time that he wasn't in love with her.

She's been his friend, his enemy, his girlfriend, his ex, his saviour, his lover, his estranged ex, his saviour (again) … his wife… and now soon to be the mother of his child.

His child.

He's going to be a father.

Veronica's due date is only a couple weeks away, and as excited as he is to meet his newborn son or daughter, part of him is still terrified. It's a part that started small, just a tiny niggle of fear in the back of his mind when they found out Veronica was pregnant—the relief of it finally happening after so many months of trying overshadowing everything else—but the further along she's gotten, the larger that fear has become.

He's been trying not to think about it, trying to be positive, because there have been so many other more important things occupying their time lately, but they're getting down to the wire now, and Logan's been feeling more nervous and more scared with every passing day.

_What if I screw up? What if I can't cope?_ The internal questions begin to flood his mind, as he brings his knees to his chest and rests his chin on them.  _What if I'm a terrible father? What if I hurt my child?_

He can hear Veronica's firm voice in his mind, vehemently telling him that she believes in him, that she trusts him, that she knows he would never lay a hand on their baby, and although, rationally, he knows she's right, he still can't stop the worry.

_Focus on the positives, on the good things_ , he tells himself determinedly.

Forcing the dark thoughts away, he allows himself to think about what it will be like when the baby finally makes his or her appearance. Veronica's been in full-on nesting mode for the last week, stocking up on baby clothes and toys, diapers and toiletries, a breast pump and bottles, and even jars of baby food, despite the fact that it'll be months before the baby will actually be able to eat any of it.

Logan can't help but smile as he recalls the image of her struggling to carry the bags of shopping in from the car herself yesterday. Despite his offer to help, she's still frustratingly trying to cling to her independence and insisted doing it herself. It took great effort to keep a straight face when, after two of the bags slid from her fingers and spilled their contents onto the floor, she finally gave in and asked him to bring in the rest.

The image changes then and he sees Veronica sitting in the glider chair, rocking gently as the tiny baby in her arms suckles at her breast. She's singing a lullaby, her sweet, melodic voice filling the room as she gazes down at the baby with pure love in her eyes. It makes Logan's heart ache at the thought of it.

"I can do this," he murmurs resolutely.

With a decisive nod, he looks out at the ocean waves once more, the bright sunshine glistening on the water.

" _We_  can do this."

Just then, his phone rings, startling him from his thoughts. He digs it out of his pocket and glances at the caller ID before answering.

"Hey, Mac."

"Logan, glad I caught you," says Mac. "Are you set for this evening?"

"Yep." He gives a nod. "As it happens, I'm on my way back to Neptune right now—persuaded the CO to give me a half-day."

"Nice," she says, before adding, "Happy Birthday, by the way."

"Thanks."

"So, you know the plan, right?"

"Of course," he says. "And before you ask, yes, we'll be there on time."

"Just wanted to double-check," she says in response.

"See you later, Mac."

Logan smirks as he hangs up the phone. Veronica doesn't know it yet, but the quiet dinner they're going out for tonight is actually going to be anything but. Ever since Mac called him a few weeks ago to inform him that Veronica was insisting on not having a baby shower, they've been brainstorming ideas for how to organise one for her without her getting suspicious. In the end, they decided to combine it with Logan's birthday and make it a gathering of family and friends for both of them.

Glancing at his watch, Logan stands and makes his way back to the car, starting the engine and heading back home to Veronica.

* * *

Veronica's sitting at the dining table, going over her birth plan and the various lists she's made for the next couple of weeks, when the front door opens and Logan walks in… in the middle of the afternoon.

"Hey," he greets with a smile as he crosses the room and takes a seat beside her. "What's all this?"

"Uh…" Veronica frowns. "I think the more pressing question is: what are you doing home at two o'clock on a Monday afternoon?"

"Oh." He gives a shrug, his smile widening. "I got all my paperwork done this morning, so I persuaded the Commander to let me take the rest of the day off, you know, seeing as it's my birthday and all."

"Ah, I see." She smiles and leans toward him for a kiss. "Well, I'm glad you're home early."

"Me too." He gestures towards the papers in front of her. "So, what are you working on?"

"Oh, just going through the birth plan and my checklist for getting to the hospital," she tells him. "I packed my bag today as well, just in case."

"Wow, talk about organised," he murmurs, sliding the top sheet of paper towards him.

"I've also been looking into the name change information you brought back from work last week," she says then, "and honestly, I don't think it's worth the hassle of trying to hyphenate. There'd be all kinds of paperwork involved now, since we didn't do it when we actually got married."

"Okay." He gives a nod. "So what are you thinking?"

"I think we should keep our names as they are," she says. "But what do you think about adding Mars as a second middle name for the baby?"

Logan's eyebrows raise as he considers the suggestion, before he nods again. "You know, that's not a bad idea."

"Great." She smiles. "I like it, too. This way Bud can have both our names."

"Yep."

"Awesome," she responds, before changing the subject. "So, having a good birthday so far?"

"Most certainly," he replies, then adds in a suggestive tone, "Though I can think of a couple of ways to make it even better."

"Oh, I bet you can," she says knowingly. "But, sorry, I'm really not feeling up to it right now. I'm tired and the Braxton-Hicks have barely let up all day."

"Oh." His face falls slightly, though he's quick to recover. "Well, that's okay."

"If you want though," she adds, leaning toward him as she lowers her voice. "I could maybe, you know, give you a helping hand."

For a second, he looks like he's going to take her up on the offer, but then he shakes his head.

"No, that's okay," he says quickly. "I don't want to... you just take it easy. I'm fine."

"If you're sure?"

"Yeah, totally," he says easily. "It's fine."

"Well, maybe later then, after dinner," she adds instead.

Logan just gives her a placating look. "Veronica, as tempted as I am, you're tired and very pregnant, and, I don't know, it'd feel like I was taking advantage or something."

"Not if I want to do it," she counters. "It is your birthday, after all."

"Still it wouldn't feel right," he admits. "Seriously; it's all good. Your company is all I need tonight."

Logan smiles then, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to the side of her head, letting his hand drift down her back as his fingers run through her long hair.

* * *

 

At six-thirty, Logan pulls the car up in front of Luigi's restaurant and cuts the engine, turning to Veronica with a concerned frown.

"How're you feeling?" he asks gently, eyeing her belly where she's running her hand over it, a look of discomfort marring her features. "We don't have to go for dinner if you're not up to it."

Her expression clears as she flashes him a smile. "No, no, I'm fine. Nothing I can't handle."

"Okay." Logan nods, though internally, he breathes a sigh of relief.

All of Veronica's friends are in there right now, waiting to surprise her with a less-than-traditional baby shower. If she'd said she wasn't feeling well now, he would have a lot of explaining to do.

"God, I can't wait to get this kid out of me," she mutters a moment later.

"I know," he replies gently. "But it's only a couple more weeks."

"Yeah." She grimaces. "My head knows that. It's my back, and my hips, and my insides with all of these Braxton-Hicks that aren't convinced this is ever going to end."

He looks at her sympathetically, taking her hand and kissing the back.

"It will, I promise." He kisses her hand again, then places it back on her leg. "Come on, let's go in."

Logan opens his door and climbs out, moving around the front of the car to help Veronica out of her side. She grabs both of his hands and lets him pull her up, not even complaining about the fact that she can't do it herself easily anymore. He slips his arm around her waist, guiding her towards the entrance of Luigi's.

He has to hide his smile as he holds the door open for her and she enters the restaurant to a chorus of 'Surprise', the room filled with at least a dozen of their friends and family.

"What the-?" Veronica turns to Logan, a mixture of surprise and confusion on her face. "They're throwing you a surprise party and didn't tell me?"

Logan grins, shaking his head. "This party isn't for me."

"It's not?"

"Nope." Mac approaches them with a grin and a bounce in her step. "It's for you."

"Me?" Veronica looks vaguely around the room. "No, that can't be right." She gestures to Logan. "It's  _his_  birthday remember?"

"It's your baby shower," announces Mac with just a hint of smugness. "And, before you say anything, you didn't think we'd actually let you get away with not having one, did you?"

"Mac…" For a moment, Veronica looks like she doesn't know how to react, but then a small smile appears on her face. "Seriously?"

"Yep." Mac nods, turning to link her arm with Veronica's. "Well, technically, it's both your baby shower and Logan's birthday celebration. We figured we'd just combine them. Come on, you need to say hi to everyone."

Veronica glances back at Logan as Mac begins to lead her away, towards the crowd of people waiting to talk to her. He just smiles and nods for her to mingle, as he follows behind. He watches as she greets everyone who has shown up for her: Keith and Marcia, Lianne and Hunter, Wallace, Dick, Weevil, Jade and Valentina, and last but not least…

"Oh my God, Sarah… Chaos?" Veronica exclaims in disbelief, as she steps forward to give each of them a hug. "What are you guys doing here?"

Chaos catches Logan's eye and grins, before turning to Veronica. "Well, we were due a visit back out here anyway, so when Logan called, we couldn't pass up the opportunity, not with two celebrations to be had today."

"How long are you staying for?"

"Just a couple weeks," says Sarah. "We're taking some family vacation time. You never know, we might still be here for the big day."

"It's so good to see you," Veronica tells them. "Where are the kids?"

"With a babysitter," Sarah replies. "It's a little late for them to be up."

"Well, I'm going to have to see them soon," Veronica says decidedly. "I've missed you guys, all of you."

"Us, too," says Chaos, before turning to Logan, holding out his hand. "Happy Birthday, man."

When Veronica has made the rounds, saying hi to everyone and thanking them for coming, she steps up to Logan.

"I can't believe you did this," she murmurs, a hint of admonishment in her tone. "Especially after I told Mac, in no uncertain terms, that I did not want a baby shower."

"Oh, I know what you told her," he responds with a smirk. "And right afterwards, she went behind your back and called me."

Veronica narrows her eyes. "The little… I should have known. She gave in way too easily when I told her no."

"Don't put all the blame on her," he says. "I most certainly encouraged it."

"Why?" It's not an accusation, more a genuine curiosity.

"Because you  _should_  have a baby shower," he says simply. "I didn't want you to miss out on the experience. But don't worry, we're not doing the whole traditional girly thing. It's just a party, at which there may or may not be a few gifts."

She shakes her head, but accepts his explanation as she looks around the room with a soft smile.

The next couple of hours are spent tucking into a buffet, opening gifts—both hers and his—and catching up with their friends. When Sarah and Chaos mention that they're still on Virginia time, and it's three hours later where they got up that morning, Dick speaks up.

"Isn't this a baby shower?" he asks and Veronica gives Mac a confused look. "I brought a present; aren't we supposed to get to play games?"

"First off, not sure why you know that," Mac answers, shaking her head. "I didn't even know about the games before I started putting this together. And secondly, Veronica wasn't up for a traditional shower. So, sorry. We won't be eating baby food and trying to guess what kind it is."

"Or sniffing brown stains in diapers to guess what kind of candy bar got squished in them," Sarah adds, and a collective groan of disgust goes up around the room.

"At least we gotta do the pool," Dick replies. "I mean, everyone's here. It's the perfect time."

"The pool?" Sarah asks, wrinkling her nose. "I don't know that one."

Chaos chuckles and rubs her shoulder. "Pretty sure he's talking about a pool on the baby. When it's born probably. Boy or girl, how big. Stuff like that."

"You want to bet?" Jade speaks up then, sounding shocked. "On Veronica's baby?"

Logan laughs at the look that she's giving Dick. He's seen Veronica look at him like that dozens of times through the years.

"Sure, why not?" Dick shrugs his shoulders. "You think there wasn't a pool going when that one was born?" He tips his head and points a finger toward Valentina, then pins Weevil with a knowing smirk. "And you think your husband wasn't in on it?"

Jade's mouth drops open and she twists toward Weevil, who is looking down with an embarrassed smile on his face.

"Eli!" Jade says loudly.

Weevil looks up at Dick. "Mark me down for girl, April 13, 6 pounds 8 ounces." His gaze shifts to Logan and Veronica. "It's not a Friday this year, but eventually, that kid will get a Friday the 13th birthday."

Everyone laughs and starts throwing their guesses out. Dick scrambles for his phone and starts taking notes and collecting cash.

Shortly after, Chaos and Sarah do say their goodbyes, and the crowd starts to thin out. As the evening comes to a close, Logan notices Veronica looks much happier than she had earlier in the day, and he can't help but be glad that Mac hadn't backed down and had planned the shower anyway. This has been a great way to spend his birthday, and seeing Veronica letting off some steam and enjoying herself has only made it even better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you goes to my awesome beta, Irma66, for her suggestions for additions to this chapter :).


	22. Chapter 22

 

**Thirty-Eight and a Half Weeks Along**

"Hey, guys." Veronica greets, opening the door to Sarah and Chaos on Saturday morning. "Come on in."

"Thanks." Sarah steps over the threshold, followed closely by Chaos. "We'd hug you, but I think it'd be a little awkward."

She gestures to the six-month-old in her arms and almost three-year-old in her husband's, and then nods towards Veronica's large belly.

"Good point. Hugging's not exactly easy these days." Veronica grins, before turning her attention to the little boy balanced on Sarah's hip. "Hey, Mason, you're getting so big."

"Don't I know it," Sarah replies, adjusting him slightly. "And getting bigger every day."

"So are you, Aves." Veronica turns her attention to the toddler. "You're looking very grown up now."

Ava looks at Veronica curiously for a moment, like she's trying to place her, before burrowing her head in her father's chest.

"Don't worry," says Chaos. "She still gets shy around people she hasn't seen in a while. She'll be back to her usual chatty self before long."

"That's okay." Veronica gives an understanding nod. "Come on, let's go make ourselves comfortable."

"Logan not around?" Chaos asks as they follow her into the living room.

"He's at the store," says Veronica. "We were seriously lacking in any form of snacks, so I sent him out. He'll be home in a few."

Veronica sinks down onto the sofa, watching as Sarah settles Mason on a blanket on the floor, with a couple of toys to keep him occupied, then takes a seat herself. Ava, on the other hand, quickly wriggles free of Chaos' grasp and toddles across the room to the closed French doors, pressing her hands and face to the glass as she looks outside.

"I hope you've child-proofed this place," jokes Chaos, his eyes following his daughter, "because she'll get into anything she can these days."

"Don't worry," says Veronica. "I've spent most of this week tidying and organising the whole house. Logan thinks I'm nesting."

Sarah smiles. "Yeah, you are. I was the same."

"She was terrible," confirms Chaos. "Every night I'd come home to find everything in a completely different place to when I left that morning."

"I wasn't that bad," protests Sarah.

Chaos shoots her a grin. "Yeah, you were."

The front door opens then and Logan appears, laden with bags of food from the grocery store.

"Lo-Lo! " Ava's eyes light up and she barrels towards him, wrapping her arms around his legs.

"Ava, my girl!" Logan greets her with a grin, placing the bags on the floor and scooping her up in his arms.

"Oh,  _him_  she remembers," Veronica jokes, watching Ava squeal with delight as Logan spins her around. "Guess I shouldn't be surprised; he always seems to capture the attention of the ladies."

"She remembers you too, Veronica," Sarah assures her. "I think she's just hesitant because of, you know…" She gestures to her belly and Veronica nods in understanding. "She was the same with me last year, until she got used to it."

Logan carries Ava into the living room and deposits her on the floor again as Chaos stands. They greet each other with a hug and a pat on the back, before Logan turns to give Sarah a hug as well.

"I'm just gonna put those away." He nods towards the groceries on the floor, then shoots a pointed look in Ava's direction. "Before  _someone_  gets into them."

As Logan's collecting the bags, Veronica shifts forward on the couch. "Can I get you guys something to drink?"

"Hey, no, you stay there," Logan tells her. "Put your feet up. I'll sort it."

"I can fix us some drinks, Logan." Veronica fights not to roll her eyes.

"Hey, let him do it." Sarah places a hand on her arm to stop her getting up. "You won't be able to use being pregnant as an excuse to laze around much longer, so make the most of it."

Veronica thinks about that for a moment, before grinning and easing back against the sofa cushions. "Yeah, all right."

Logan returns a couple of minutes later with a tray of drinks, and then settles down next to Chaos on the second sofa.

"So, how are things at Oceana?" he asks.

"Yeah, pretty good," says Chaos. "We miss having you around though."

"Same here," replies Logan. "It's a shame there aren't any more instructor spots going here. You guys could have moved back, too."

"Nah, it's all good. Things are going well back East," Chaos says, before adding, "But Firefly and Nick say hi."

"Oh, how're they doing?" asks Veronica.

With all the pregnancy stuff, she didn't see a whole lot of either Nick or Amy in the last couple of months before returning to Neptune.

"Yeah, good. Nick's found himself a full-time position at a local tech start-up."

"That's good." Veronica smiles. "I'm glad he found something. Our attempt to set up a business last year didn't exactly get off its feet."

"And how are you, Veronica?" Sarah asks then. "Everything going smoothly?"

"Yep, so far." Veronica's hand comes to her stomach. "Just waiting it out now."

"Have you decided on names yet?"

She nods. "Well, we've each picked one for a boy and one for a girl… only thing left is to decide which of the choices it's going to be."

"Which will be determined upon visual contact of the new arrival," Logan speaks up, shooting Veronica a grin, which she narrows her eyes at.

They've got something of a bet going between them over whose name is going to win out. While she does like all of the names, and will be happy with either hers or Logan's choice, the competitive streak in her is hard to shake.

"And I'm guessing that means you won't tell us what they are?"

"Nope." Veronica shakes her head, sharing a smile with Logan. "It's gonna be a secret until the big day."

"So, are you all prepared for the new arrival?" asks Sarah.

"I hope so." Veronica gives a nod. "I mean, part of me wants to know as much as possible, so I'm as prepared as I can be, but the rest… well, I have a feeling there are some details I'd rather not know in advance."

"Yeah," agrees Sarah. "I agree. As amazing as it is to bring a new life into the world, it's not all sunshine and roses."

"I'm beginning to realise that." Veronica makes a face as she recalls some of the less than pleasant birth and post-birth details they learned about in the Lamaze classes.

"But if you have any questions, just ask," says Sarah. "Any worries or concerns, or if you just need someone to talk to, I'm only a phone call away."

"Thanks, Sare. I appreciate it."

* * *

**Late April 2020**

**Forty Weeks and One Day Along**

Logan glances up at the clock on the wall in his office, his leg bouncing anxiously. Two-fifteen pm. Only two hours and forty-five minutes until he can get out of here. He's barely been able to concentrate on the flight evaluations he's trying to complete, and even the slightest noise makes him frantically check his phone for updates.

Veronica reached her due date yesterday, but much to her frustration, there's been no sign of labour yet. Which means they're both on edge. Veronica's going crazy at home on her own, practically crawling out of her skin waiting for something to happen, while Logan hates the fact that he has to leave her and go to work each morning. They're lucky that the Navy allows him fourteen days of parental leave, but the fact is, it's still only fourteen days, and he doesn't want to waste a minute of it before the baby is born.

So here he is, on base in San Diego, almost an hour away from Veronica—who could go into labour at any moment—trying rather unsuccessfully to get some work done. With a sigh, he turns back to the evaluation form on his computer screen and finally starts typing. He only manages to work for about three minutes before there's a knock on the door.

"Come in," he calls out, minimising the form and closing the notepad on his desk.

The door opens and one of the two female pilots on base enters the room.

"Lieutenant Echolls, do you have a moment?"

Logan pastes a smile on his face. "What can I do for you, Lieutenant Caldwell?"

Sam Caldwell comes to a stop in front of his desk and Logan gestures for her to take a seat.

"Do you think it would be possible to book some additional night-flying tactical sessions next week?" she asks, as she sits down in the chair opposite him. "I don't feel we've had enough training yet to confidently carry out combat missions in low-light conditions."

Logan gives a slow nod of agreement. "I don't see why that should be a problem. Are we talking just you, or is this something you think should be given as a general refresher?"

"Well, I've talked to some of the squadron," says Sam, "and I don't think they'd object to more night training."

"Okay," Logan agrees. "I'll see what I can do, but I suggest you also talk to Lieutenant Wilson about it, as there's a good chance I'll be on leave next week."

"I will. Thank you, Lieutenant."

"No problem, Sam."

Sam smiles and pushes up out of the chair. She starts to move toward the door, but then stops, attention caught by something on his desk. Logan turns his head to see she's looking at the photo of Veronica he keeps there. In it, she's lying in the sand on Dog Beach, her face shining with laughter as she hugs a wet Pony to her chest.

It was taken about three years ago, a few months before they got married, when they'd been hanging out on the beach one lazy Sunday morning. Logan had recently been cleared to return to work after his accident, and was relishing in being able to surf again, so while he caught some waves, Veronica pulled out her camera and started snapping pictures. When he finally came out of the water, Pony bounded up to him, soaking herself in process, and followed him back up the beach, before excitedly launching herself at Veronica and knocking her back onto the sand. Laughing at the picture they made, Veronica caught between laughing and shrieking, Logan grabbed her camera and snapped the shot.

"This is your wife?" Sam asks. "She's pretty."

"Yeah, that's Veronica." Logan's smile widens as he gazes at the photo.

"She's, uh, pregnant, right?" she adds. "I saw her with you at that dinner a few weeks ago."

He nods. "She is. Due yesterday actually… hence the potential leave next week."

"Congratulations," Sam says, before her expression turns sheepish… and a little guilty. "I, um, I think I owe her an apology. For a conversation we had that night."

Logan knows exactly which she's talking about, but he tries to keep a straight face as he says, "Oh? What conversation was that?"

"Oh, um, it was actually not…uh, it was just girl stuff," she says quickly. "Can you just tell her I'm sorry?"

"Sure." He flashes a teasing grin. "For the record though, she's the only one who gets to  _not_  kick me out of bed."

"Oh, God, she told you." Sam's eyes widen as she flushes red with embarrassment and brings a hand to her mouth, letting out a small groan. "I am so sorry, Lieutenant. I meant no disrespect."

"It's forgotten," says Logan, shaking his head in dismissal, even as a small smile still plays on his lips. "Never happened."

"Thank you." Sam gives a sigh of relief. "And I'm sorry. Again."

Logan's about to assure her that it really is okay, but his phone chooses that moment to vibrate on the desk, Veronica's ringtone blasting from the speaker, and he snatches it up immediately, his heart racing as he connects the call.

"Veronica?"

"Logan, I need you to come home." Her voice is urgent on the other end.

"God, is it time?" he asks, panic gripping his chest.

"What?" She sounds a little confused. "Oh… no, not yet. I've been trying to kick-start things, but nothing's happening. Not even Braxton-Hicks. That's why I need you to come home."

Logan's lost. "I'm not following."

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Sam cross the room. She gives him a nod, which Logan returns, before she slips through the door and closes it behind her.

"Nothing else is working. I've tried it all: raspberry leaf tea, spicy food, the exercises the doctor recommended—"

"Have you taken a walk?" he suggests, still not sure what she expects him to do. "That's supposed to help."

"Yes, smartass, I've taken a walk," Veronica retorts. "And it  _didn't_  help. Nothing has."

"What about trying—?" he starts, but she cuts him off.

"I need  _you_ , Logan." Her voice is pleading… and filled with frustration. "I need you to sex me up so I can get this baby out of me."

Logan's eyes widen as a strangled noise of surprise escapes his throat. "You need me to what?"

"Having sex is supposed to help induce labour," she says, like it should be obvious. "And I need it induced ASAP."

"Veronica, I can't just leave base in the middle of the day to have sex with you," he responds incredulously.

"So just tell everyone I've gone into labour."

"I'm not doing that, Veronica." He tries to sound scandalised, though if he's honest, he'd much rather be at home having sex with her right now than completing flight evaluations. "We'll do it when I get home, okay? I'm sure you can wait a couple more hours."

"Okay, fine," she relents, "but you'd better drive fucking fast."

"I'll do my best," he assures her.

"Thank you."

"Other than no sign of labour yet, you're doing okay?" he asks.

"I'm okay. Just uncomfortable and fed up."

"I know, but maybe just try to relax," he suggests. "Read a book or something; take your mind off it."

"Yeah, maybe." She sighs. "Whose genius idea was it to have a baby, huh?"

"You'll get through this, Veronica," Logan tells her. "In a few days, it'll all be over, and we'll have a beautiful son or daughter."

There's a pause, then a sniff, and then her voice cracks slightly, as she says, "Yeah, we will. I can't wait."

"Me either," he replies. "I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Okay."

He hangs up the phone, then sinks back into his chair and takes a deep breath. His heart is still pounding, his mind reeling from the possibility that that could have been The Call. As he calms down though, he can't help but chuckle at the actual reason for it. He can't even imagine the reaction his CO would have if he actually tried to leave early to help his wife induce labour the 'natural way'.

* * *

When he gets home that evening, just after six p.m., Logan finds Veronica curled up on her side on the sofa and Pony lying on the floor in front of her. There are three books discarded on the coffee table and the TV is showing some random talk show that she's not paying any attention to. She looks thoroughly fed up.

"Hey." He crosses the room and, careful not to step on the dog, perches on the edge of the couch, reaching out and running a hand over her hair. "Still nothing yet?"

"Nope," she mutters, turning her head and lifting her eyes to his. "I don't think I can wait any longer, Logan. I'm done."

"You can," he encourages. "You're almost there."

"Can't we just ask the doctor for a C-section, like, right now?"

"You know they won't do a C-section unless there are complications," he reasons, with a gentle smile. "I'm afraid you're just gonna have to wait it out."

She pouts. "This sucks."

"I know," he says, before adding, "But as per your request, I got here as fast as I could, if you still want to—"

"Yeah, I want."

"You sure? You look tired."

"I  _am_  tired," she agrees. "But I also want this fucking kid out of my fucking body as soon as humanly fucking possible."

"Well, okay then." Logan blinks at her language for a moment, before grinning and slipping off the couch, holding out his hands to her. "Help you up?"

Veronica pushes herself up to sitting, then takes his hands, allowing him to pull her to her feet. "Thanks."

She winces, one hand slipping from his as she rubs her lower back and Logan gives her a sympathetic smile, before lowering his head and briefly brushing his lips over hers.

"Come on, let's go kick-start this labour."

* * *

An hour later, Veronica lies on her side in the bed, facing Logan, one pillow propped between her legs and another under her belly. He smiles at her, gently reaching out to tuck her hair behind her ear, before letting his fingers linger against her skin.

"Feeling anything yet?"

"No." She shakes her head, her lower lip jutting out in a pout. "God, I hate all this waiting around."

"I know." His thumb strokes her cheek. "You feel up to some dinner?"

Her stomach rumbles, but she doesn't have the energy to get up right now, so she says, "You feel up to bringing me dinner in bed?"

He presses his lips together like he's trying not to laugh, but he nods all the same. "Sure, why not? We can veg out and watch a movie or something."

She shifts her upper body, leaning forward so she can slide a hand around his neck and tug him in for a kiss. "Thank you."

"So, what'll it be?" he asks, sitting up and pulling on a pair of sweatpants.

"There's still some chili left in the fridge."

Logan smirks, standing up and grabbing a t-shirt. "You know, there's no actual concrete evidence that eating spicy food can induce labour."

Veronica gives a one-shoulder shrug. "Don't care. If there's a chance it'll help, I'm taking it."

"Fair enough," he says. "Gimme ten minutes."

He leaves the bedroom and Veronica sighs, her hand sliding across the bare skin of her large stomach.

"What are you waiting for huh, baby?" she says softly. "You don't wanna come out and meet your mommy and daddy? 'Cause we really want to meet you."

Beneath her hand, the baby shifts, the movement causing a rolling sensation in her belly. The baby dropped last week—which is a big relief, because it means she can finally breathe properly again, though unfortunately, her bladder is suffering for it now—and she saw the doctor a couple of days ago, who confirmed Bud is in the right position for labour. So, all she can do now is wait.

Logan reappears a few minutes later with a tray laden with chilli, rice and two glasses of water.

"Dinner is served," he announces with a flourish, placing the tray down on the nightstand.

Veronica slowly pulls herself up, and Logan helps her get comfortable against the pillows, before picking up the tray again, carrying it round to his side of the bed and placing it between them.

They eat leisurely, Logan helpfully feeding her spoonfuls of chilli so she doesn't have to try to do it herself while trying to balance the plate on her belly, and when they're done, he carries the tray back to the kitchen and returns with a tub of ice cream, two spoons and a selection of movies.

* * *

Veronica is pulled from her fitful sleep by an uncomfortable cramping in her abdomen. She pries one eye open to glance at the clock. It's one-thirty a.m. With a groan, she lets her head fall back against the pillow. With all the leg cramps and the needing to pee every few minutes, she only just got to sleep an hour ago… and now she's awake again. She rubs her stomach and waits it out before settling back down to sleep again.

An hour later, when she's just drifted back to sleep, another tightening in her belly wakes her again. This time, the discomfort lasts a few more seconds before it subsides. Over the next four hours, she wakes three more times, getting more and more annoyed with each mild contraction for interrupting her sleep. Unfortunately, this isn't anything unusual. Last week, the Braxton-Hicks kept her up two nights in a row.

Eventually, at six-forty-five a.m., she gives up on sleep and gets up instead. Logan is still fast asleep beside her, snoring lightly, so she pulls on some clothes and heads out to the living room, where Pony is wide awake and waiting for someone to take her out.

"Come on, Pone." She attaches the dog's leash. "Let's go for a walk, huh?"

They head out onto the beach and Veronica breathes in the fresh ocean air, forcing herself to relax even as another contraction rolls through her belly. She rides it out, having gotten used to it by now… this has been happening pretty regularly for the last few days, and so far, nothing has come of it, so she's not getting her hopes up just yet.

Walking helps though, and by the time she and Pony return home thirty minutes later, she's feeling a little better. After putting out some food for Pony, she sets about fixing breakfast for her and Logan. The coffee has just brewed, and she's plating up fruit, toast and scrambled eggs when a sleepy-looking Logan appears in the kitchen doorway.

"Mornin'" he mumbles, reaching up to massage his neck as he shuffles over to the coffee machine and pours himself a mug. "Sleep well?"

"Not as well as you, it seems," she replies, raising an eyebrow in his direction.

He takes a sip, then turns to face her, looking a little more awake now. He frowns in concern at her appearance. "You didn't sleep?"

"Not really," she admits. "Braxton-Hicks kept me up again."

He steps closer to her, lifting a comforting hand to her shoulder. "Just Braxton-Hicks? Not the real thing?"

"I don't think so." She shakes her head. "They aren't painful and they're still at irregular intervals."

He leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead. "It'll happen soon."

"Yeah." She nods. "Come on, let's eat."

Fifteen minutes later, their plates are empty and Veronica goes to take a shower while Logan clears them away.

While he's using the bathroom after her, she heads down the hall to the baby's room.

"I really hope you make an appearance soon, Bud," she says, as she moves around the room, mentally checking they haven't forgotten to buy anything important. "Because otherwise, your newly decorated and furnished bedroom is just gonna go to waste."

Her belly tightens with another contraction and she grimaces, rubbing one hand across her stomach as she rests the other on the baby's crib.

"There you are." Logan's voice sounds behind her as the discomfort subsides.

She turns to see him entering the room, dressed in jeans and a dark blue long-sleeved Henley. His skin is flushed and his hair is still damp from the shower.

"Hey." She smiles.

He moves across the room, coming to stand beside her, resting his forearms on the crib.

"Does it seem weird that very soon, this is going to be someone's bedroom? That there's going to be a tiny, living, breathing human being inhabiting this space?"

"I know…"

"I mean, it's just been us and Pony in this house for almost four years, sometimes, just you and Pony," he elaborates. "This room has always been empty, lifeless, no personality. But it won't be anymore…"

"No, it won't," she agrees, her chest giving a small flip at the thought.

"It's going to have so much personality, Veronica." Logan's tone holds a hint of awe. "Can you imagine? There's gonna be toys and books and pictures and, you know, crayon scribbles on the wall…"

She smiles widely, feeling a lump forming in her throat. She swallows. "Yeah…"

"Our lives are about to change," he adds, "and I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to it."

"Me, too."

He straightens up, then slides an arm around her back, urging her close to his side, before kissing the top of her head.

Veronica rests her head against his shoulder for a moment, before yet another contraction hits… except this one is different. It hurts, like, actually hurts. It's not just like vaguely uncomfortable period cramps, but more like a wave of pain, starting at the top of her belly and spreading lower, all the way around to her back. She gasps, doubling over slightly, gripping the top of the crib with both hands.

"Are you okay?"

"Uh, huh," she manages, giving a nod. "It hurts though, more than the others."

"You think this is it?" He's immediately on the alert.

"I'm not sure." The pain begins to ease and she straightens up again. "It's the first one like it."

"Okay… should we call the doctor?"

Veronica shakes her head. "Not just yet. It might be nothing."

"All right." He nods, though he doesn't look completely convinced.

"We'll start timing them," she says. "See if they get longer or more regular. The doctor said not to call until they were less than ten minutes apart, and lasting around a minute."

"Okay. But can I do anything?" he asks, as he begins to pace the room. "Your hospital bag's packed, right? Is there anything else you need? I can run to the store."

"Logan." Veronica turns, reaching out to catch him by the arm. "Calm down, okay? I'm fine. Everything is ready. My phone is charged, my bag's by the door. No need to panic."

He nods, but then frowns. "What about Pony? Should I take her to your dad's?"

"We don't know how long it's gonna be yet," she says. "And my dad can always come by and pick her up if necessary."

"Yeah. Yeah, okay." He makes a twirling gesture with his hands, which Veronica recognises as a nervous impulse, and she reaches out to still them.

She has to suppress a smile at how the tables have turned. Yesterday, she was the one anxious and eager for the baby to come and he was the calming influence, but now that it might actually be happening, she actually feels surprisingly calm… while he seems to be having a mini panic attack.

"Come on, I think we could both use a distraction, don't you?" she says, leading him out of the baby's room and down the hall. "What do you fancy: TV… board games… poker… a walk along the beach?"

"Hmm, it has been a while since we played poker…" he says with a grateful smile. "You're on."

Three hours later, their poker game has been long abandoned, and Veronica's contractions are coming more regularly and lasting longer each time. They're down to just over ten minutes apart, and getting more painful. So much so, that Logan has been instructed to rub her back as she rides them out.

As the latest one eases, Veronica suddenly straightens up, her eyes going wide. "Oh."

"Oh… what?" Logan asks in concern.

"I uh, I think my water might have just broken," she says, looking uncomfortable. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Back in a minute."

She heads out of the room, walking even more gingerly than normal, as Logan waits anxiously in the living room, fingers twisting together while he returns to pacing again. Even with all the books they've read and all the preparation they've made, he still has no clue what he's doing.

Veronica reappears a couple of minutes later, dressed in a new pair of pants and with her phone in her hand.

"Yeah, my water's broken," she confirms. "I'm gonna call the doctor."

"Okay." Logan swallows as his heart starts racing. "I'll, uh… I'll…"

He trails off, looking helplessly around the room as Veronica moves into the kitchen to make the call. He has no idea what he's gonna do right now.

She returns a few moments later with a resolved look on her face. "She wants us to come in now."

"Right. Okay."

"Can you put my bag in the car, while I call my dad and let him know we're going to the hospital."

"Sure…" he agrees. "I…uh, I can do that."

He heads for the front door, and grabs the duffle bag Veronica packed a couple of weeks ago. Stepping outside, he fumbles to dig the car key out of his pocket, his fingers clumsy.

_Geez, get a grip, Echolls_ , he scolds himself.  _You can handle this. You've been to war, for fuck's sake._

He's just placing the bag on the back seat, beside the car seat he installed last week, when Veronica appears in the doorway, phone in one hand.

"Okay, my dad's gonna come by and pick up Pony later," she informs him. "He'll keep her for the next few days. He'll call the others for us too."

"Great." He flashes a nervous smile. "You ready to go?"

"Just a minute."

She disappears back into the house again, then emerges a few moments later with a towel and a plastic bag.

"What are those for?" he asks, confused as he opens the passenger door for her.

She shrugs as she moves around him and spreads the bag and towel out on the seat. "Don't wanna make a mess in the car."

"Oh." He frowns, making a face. "Ew."

"You think that's icky? You'd better prepare yourself, my friend." She pats his shoulder before easing herself into the car. "It's only gonna get worse from here."

"Don't remind me," he mutters, closing the car door and heading around to the driver's side.

Sure, he's read the books and even watched a couple of videos. He knows he's going to be seeing all kinds of gross things in the delivery room, but honestly, there's no way he's  _not_  going to be in there with her every step of the way. Doesn't mean he's looking forward to seeing said gross things though.

* * *

"Come on, Veronica," Logan says four hours later, his hand wrapped around hers. "You can do this."

"I can't, Logan." She sighs, sounding exhausted. "I can't do it anymore."

He looks down at her with sympathy. She's drenched in sweat, hair plastered to her forehead and her skin clammy. She's looking up at him with such pain and anguish that it breaks his heart to see it. If he could take away that pain, if he could bear it himself, he would. But it doesn't work that way, so all he can do is be here for her, support her, and help her get through this as best he can.

"You can do it," he tells her. "I know you can."

"I can't." She shakes her head. "I'm not strong enough."

"Yes, you can. Veronica, you're the strongest person I know." His hand tightens around hers. "I believe in you."

"Makes one of us…"

"Okay, Veronica," says the doctor at the end of the bed. "On the next contraction, I need you to push, okay?"

"No." She shakes her head. "I'm done."

"No, you're not," Logan says, encouragingly. "Come on, you're not going to be defeated by a tiny baby, are you? You'll never live it down."

She glares at him, but he sees a flash of something in her eyes. Determination.  _That's my girl._

She takes a deep breath as another contraction rolls through her, lowering her chin, her brow furrowing in concentration and her fingers tightening around his as she pushes.

"Okay, you're doing great," the doctor coaches. "Just keep pushing for a little a bit longer… there we go… and okay, you can stop now."

Veronica exhales with relief, leaning into Logan as she recovers.

"Is it over?" she asks, burying her face in his shoulder.

Logan looks to the doctor, who shakes her head.

"Not quite yet, sweetheart."

"Okay, Veronica, I can see the head, so I need you to relax and breathe for me now," the doctor says then. "Just short breaths, out through your mouth, okay?"

Veronica nods, lifting her head from Logan's shoulder as she does as she's told, breathing in and out.

"Perfect. Now when you feel the next contraction, I want you to give me one big push. Can you do that?"

"Do I have to?" She sounds so forlorn and defeated that Logan's heart goes out to her.

The doctor gives her an apologetic look as she says, "I'm afraid you do."

"Come on," Logan repeats his earlier words of encouragement. "I know you can do it."

She nods again, steeling herself for the next contraction, and Logan can see her mentally preparing for it before it actually starts. As it begins to build however, she bears down, face scrunched up, sweat beading on her forehead, and a pained groan escaping her mouth as she pushes as hard as she can.

"There we go," murmurs the doctor when the contraction eases. "You're doing really well, Veronica. Your baby's head is out, which means that's the worst of it over. It'll just be a couple more pushes now, okay?"

Veronica nods, lying back against the pillows again as the doctor does something or other at the end of the bed—Logan's not sure he wants to know what, to be honest, preferring to remain blissfully unaware. Instead, he links his fingers with Veronica's and lifts her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles gently.

It's not long before the next contraction takes hold, and Veronica's pushing again, though this time, it seems to be easier for her, and before he realises what's happening, she's heaving huge sigh of relief and the doctor is holding a tiny, red, squirming baby in her gloved hands. There's a moment of silence, then another, and then the sound of crying fills the room.

Logan stare, wide-eyed, at the sight before him. That's his  _child_  right there. He's a  _father_.

"Congratulations, Veronica, Logan." The doctor smiles up at them. "It's a girl."

Veronica gives a small gasp, her mouth dropping open and tears filling her eyes.

"It's a girl?" She looks to Logan, her expression awed. "It's a  _girl_."

* * *

Veronica is sore and exhausted, but as the doctor places the baby on her chest, skin against skin, she forgets to care. She vaguely feels Logan slide his arm around her as he leans in close, his free hand coming to rest over hers, but all she can do is gaze down at the tiny miracle in her arms, the rest of the world fading away.

"Hi, baby," she murmurs. "I'm your mommy. It's so good to finally meet you."

She turns her head to look at Logan again, to find his eyes glassy, a look of wonder on his face.

"Just look at her," she says to him. "She's  _real_."

He smiles a watery smile. "That she is."

A couple of minutes later, the doctor gently lifts the baby from her chest to cut the cord and Veronica feels the loss immediately. As soon as her daughter is placed back on her chest again, she holds her close, feeling a surge of love and protectiveness towards her. After a moment, the baby opens her eyes and seems to looks right at her and the feeling only intensifies.

It's funny, because she spent so many years believing she wasn't at all maternal, that if she ever had kids, she would struggle to feel that motherly bond with them, but here she is, and here it is, happening right now. She's so mesmerised by this tiny little human, whom she's been carrying and growing inside her for nine months, that she barely even registers anything else, not even the rest of the post-delivery routine.

Eventually though, the doctor has to take the baby again, to clean her up and take her vitals, and it's a struggle for Veronica to let go.

"I miss her already," she mumbles to Logan as she watches the doctor walk away.

"Me too." He turns to look at her, lifting a hand to her cheek and gently stroking his thumb across it. "How are you doing?"

"So, so tired," she admits. "And everything hurts."

"You were  _awesome_ ," he tells her. "You did it, Veronica."

"Yeah… I did," she says slowly, like it's just sinking in… which is kind of is.

It feels like forever before the doctor reappears with the baby, who is now clean and wrapped in blankets, but according to Logan, it's only been a few minutes. Veronica immediately holds her hands out for her child, and as soon as she's in her arms, she hugs her close. Gazing down at the bundle in her arms, her eyes take in every little detail of her daughter's face: the tiny button nose, and perfect little lips, and eyes that are squeezed tightly shut. Unable to help herself, she lifts a finger to her daughter's cheek, stroking gently and marvelling at her soft skin.

"She's beautiful," whispers Logan beside her. "She's  _ours_."

"I know."

"Can—" He starts, but his voice catches, so he tries again. "Can I—?"

"Of course," Veronica says, suddenly feeling guilty for hogging the baby. "Here."

She tries to shift a little so she can hand her to Logan, but she's too sore, and with a wince she slumps back against the pillows.

"It's okay," Logan assures her. "I'll do it."

He reaches over and carefully slides his hands under the baby, lifting her up and bringing her to his chest, cradling her in his arms as a look of adoration crosses his features. Veronica's heart does a flip at the sight.

* * *

Logan can't even begin to describe the feeling of holding his baby daughter; it's like his chest is both too small and too big, too filled with emotion, all at the same time. The baby wriggles a little, her arms coming up, hands curling into fists as she yawns, before her eyes flutter open… and that's all it takes for him to fall completely in love with her.

His first thought is:  _Fuck, Chaos was right… I'm gonna be so whipped._

His second thought, however, is a little more stark and uncomfortable:  _How could anyone_ ever _lay a hand on their own child, their own flesh and blood? I would kill anyone who came near her._

"Aren't you gonna say hello, introduce yourself?" Veronica's soft voice breaks through his thoughts and he looks up to find her watching him with an expression of both amusement and love.

"Hi, Bud," he says to his daughter, though as he says it, he realises that while Bud was a pretty good name for an anonymous baby bump, it is a completely inappropriate name for the beautiful little girl in his arms. "I'm Logan. I'm your daddy."

"Be still my heart," murmurs Veronica, and Logan looks up at her with a grin. She looks embarrassed as she adds a quick, "Sorry."

"Oh, don't apologise," he responds, still smiling. "I felt the same when you were holding her."

He sits down on the edge of the bed so Veronica can see her better, and she rests her head against his bicep as she reaches out to take the baby's hand in hers.

"She's so tiny… look at these little fingers," she marvels, prying the baby's hands out of the fists they're curled into. She smiles when tiny fingers clamp around hers. "And she has quite a grip too, don't you, baby?"

"You know," says Logan a moment later, "we really should name her. We can't keep calling her baby, or Bud for that matter."

"No, we can't," she agrees. "So, now we've actually met her, what do you think?"

Logan looks down at the baby in his arms, love, and joy and excitement flowing through him as he tries to decide which of the two names they've chosen suits her better.

"You know what," he says after a moment. "Instead of choosing between them, why don't we use both, and just have an extra middle name?"

Veronica thinks about that for a moment, "But that'll be three middle names. A bit much, don't you think?"

He shrugs. "Not if they all mean something."

"Yeah, okay," she agrees, before her mouth widens into a grin. "So, we're going with  _my_  choice for the first name?"

Logan gives her a suspicious look—knowing how competitive she is—before trying it out in his head.

He scrunches up his nose. "No, the rhythm is off that way around. It works better with my choice first."

"You're just saying that so you win," she says, though he can see her running the names in her head as well. A moment later, she reluctantly nods, "Okay, yeah, you're right. It does work better that way around."

"Told you." He smiles, turning his attention to the baby again. "Okay, then, we're agreed. Welcome to the world, Abigail Charlotte Lilly Mars Echolls."

Beside him Veronica smiles, and he can see tears forming in her eyes as she quotes the meaning of the first two names: "' _Joy of a father; petite and feminine'_ , a perfect combination, don't you think?"

He grins. "I do."

Veronica turns her gaze from the newly-named Abigail and looks up at him. "I love you, Logan."

"I love you, too," Logan tries and fails to keep the tremor out of his voice as he says it. He lowers his head for a kiss and when they part, he adds, "I'm so proud of you."

She nods, giving him a smile, before the door opens and a nurse steps into the room.

"How are you doing, Veronica?" she asks. "Ready to give breastfeeding a try?"

Logan hands baby Abigail back to Veronica and then takes a step back so that the nurse can show her what to do. He sinks down into the chair beside the bed, feeling both exhausted and overwhelmed with love and affection for his wife and his daughter.

It takes a few frustrating tries for Veronica to get the baby to latch onto her breast, and when he sees she's close to tears over it, he's tempted to suggest they stop for now, but the beaming smile she gives him when she finally gets it right and Abigail starts feeding is enough to make all his concerns melt away. She beckons to him and he goes immediately, squeezing onto the bed beside her and resting his head against the side of hers as he gazes down at his family.

This moment, right here, is perfect.


	23. Chapter 23

**19** **th** **April 2020**

**One Day Old**

Veronica rests her head back against the pillows of her hospital bed, smiling softly as she observes the scene before her. Her father is walking the room, Abigail cradled in his arms. He's gazing down at her with this wide, kind-of-amazed grin as he rocks her gently. He seems mesmerised by his baby granddaughter and the sight makes Veronica's heart swell with affection.

There's a soft knock on the door, Mac and Wallace appearing in the open doorway, armed with wrapped gifts and expectant smiles.

"We've come to meet the new arrival," says Mac, her eyes lighting up as she sees the baby in Keith's arms.

"Of course," Veronica nods, before shooting a pointed look at her father. "That is, if you can pry her away from him. He's been monopolising her for the last half hour."

" _He_ is standing right here," Keith interjects, moving over to the bed. "And I can't help it; she's hard to resist."

"Hand her over, pops. Come on." Veronica holds her arms out for the baby.

"Okay, okay, here you go," he relents, reluctantly handing her over to Veronica and taking a step towards the door. "While you're making the important introductions, I'm gonna grab a coffee from the canteen."

He slips out of the room, leaving the four of them alone.

"Mac, Wallace…" Veronica nods for them to join her at the side of the bed. "Meet Abigail Echolls. Born four-thirty-six yesterday afternoon; six pounds, ten ounces."

She smiles down at her daughter. "Abi, meet your Uncle Wallace and Aunt Mac."

"Aw, Vee, she's like, super cute." Wallace shoots her a grin.

"Isn't she?"

"Totally," agrees Mac. "Can I hold her?"

"Sure."

Veronica hands her to Mac, who carefully positions the baby in the crook of her arm with a smile. "She looks like you."

Veronica frowns, leaning over to study her newborn daughter's face. "You think? I'm not seeing it yet."

"Yeah, I think she does."

"She has Logan's ears though," adds Wallace with a grin.

"God, she does, doesn't she?" murmurs Veronica, running a finger over Abigail's left ear. "Poor thing." She looks up at the others with wide eyes. "Don't tell Logan I said that."

Mac gives a soft chuckle. "Wouldn't dream of it."

"Sweet room, Vee," comments Wallace, looking around her large private hospital suite. "Didn't even know you could get luxury like this in a hospital."

"Me either, but Logan insisted," she says. "I tried to tell him a regular room would be fine, but he'd already decided we should have the best."

In truth, despite her protests, she's glad he booked the room; it gives them plenty of privacy and it has a large cot bed for Logan to sleep on, plus a private bathroom and shower.

"Where is Logan?" asks Wallace as he takes his turn holding the baby. "I wouldn't think he'd be letting either of you out of his sight yet."

"Oh, he didn't wanna, but I sent him home to shower and change, and bring some extra things for us," she says.

"So, how are you doing, Veronica?" Mac asks, tearing her attention away from the bundle in Wallace's arms and focusing on Veronica again.

"I'm…okay," she says. "Exhausted, and feel like I got hit by a Mack Truck, but okay. And, I mean, it's totally worth it."

She looks over to Wallace, who is cooing over Abigail, dropping all pretence of trying to be cool, and her chest tightens with all kinds of emotions.

"Definitely." Mac nods enthusiastically.

"She's awesome," agrees Wallace. "But it's weird to think that you're a _mom_ now, Supafly."

"I know." Veronica shakes her head in disbelief. "It's still sinking in."

"And Logan's a _dad_ ," adds Mac. "Back in high school, could you have ever imagined it?"

The three of them share a look, before bursting into soft laughter.

"God, no," admits Veronica. "But, then, it wasn't something I ever imagined for myself either."

"And now?"

Veronica looks to her daughter again. "Now… I never wanna let her out of my sight."

Mac pats her leg over the hospital blankets. "You're gonna be a great mom, Bond."

Veronica manages a smile, even as a lump forms in her throat and she feels tears pricking at her eyes. _Damn hormones._

"I hope so."

Wallace nods in agreement, before quickly turning his attention back to Abigail as she starts to cry. A slightly panicked look on his face, he looks to Veronica for help.

"I guess maybe she's hungry?" she says, gesturing for the baby and Wallace carefully eases Abigail into her arms. "The nurse said she should be nursing every hour or two at first, but to be honest, I have no idea what I'm doing."

"You're doing great," comes Logan's voice from the doorway.

Veronica looks up to see him smiling at her. He's freshly showered and changed, and carrying a backpack and a couple of plastic bags.

"Hey, you're back." She returns the smile, rocking Abigail in her arms as the baby's crying intensifies.

As Logan steps into the room, Wallace nods to Mac and they make a move towards the door.

"We'll go find Mr. Mars, give you guys some privacy," says Wallace, nodding to Abigail, before turning to Logan and holding out his hand. "Congratulations, man. She's beautiful."

"Thanks." Logan looks a little surprised as shakes Wallace's hand, as if he wasn't expecting the praise.

"You did good, man," Mac affects a deep voice as she pats him on the shoulder, giving a grin.

Logan chuckles. "Thanks, Mac."

His eyes follow them as they leave the room before he turns to Veronica, looking concerned.

"Is she okay?"

"I think she's hungry. Again,"

"Ah, so she's inherited her mother's appetite, then," he says, with a smile, as he closes the door behind him.

Veronica's eyes narrow, but she chooses to ignore the quip as she unfastens her top and tries to coax Abigail to latch onto her breast. She's starting to get the hang of this breastfeeding thing, but it's not quite coming naturally for either her or the baby just yet. When Abigail finally gets it right and starts to nurse, Veronica turns her attention back to the topic at hand.

"You know, I think the perceived size of my appetite has been greatly exaggerated," she says. "I don't eat nearly as much as you or Wallace, or even my dad."

"No, you're right." Logan says with a smile, placing the bags down on the floor and moving to the side of the bed. "Unless it's Italian."

"That was _one_ time," she mutters with a frown. "Well, maybe twice." When Logan cocks an eyebrow at her incredulously, she adds, "Okay, like, ten times."

He smirks, taking a seat beside the bed. "I rest my case."

Veronica's tempted to respond, but when Abigail's hand brushes the side of her breast, she remembers there are more important things to concentrate on right now. She looks down at her daughter with a smile, before nodding toward the door.

"So, those two wisely made a quick escape before they had to see anything they didn't want to."

"I noticed." He gives a short chuckle. "But can _I_ do anything?"

Veronica shakes her head, giving a soft smile. "Just sit here with me."

"Sure."

He leans forward, stroking a finger along the back of Abigail's hand, before turning her hand over and running his finger along her palm. Her tiny fingers clamp around it and Veronica can't help smiling at the look of wonder on his face.

"I love you," she says softly, after a moment of watching him.

He smiles, looking up at her. "Love you, too."

"The doctor came in while you were out," Veronica says a moment later. "They're sending us home tomorrow."

Logan blinks in surprise. "Already?"

Veronica adjusts her grip on Abigail, still getting used to the position, as she replies, "Well, there were no complications, and they seem to be happy with how we're both doing, so I guess there's no need to stay longer."

"Wow. Okay." He nods, looking a little shell-shocked.

"You all right?" she asks in concern.

"Yeah. Yeah," he says. "Just seems really soon."

Veronica smiles at his nervousness. "From what I hear, it's pretty normal to leave after a day or two."

"But, I mean, are we ready?"

She gives a one-shouldered shrug, careful not to jostle Abigail. "We'll have to be."

* * *

**Late April 2020**

**One Week Old**

Logan vaguely registers the crying from the bassinet on Veronica's side of the bedroom, and he pries open one eye to see her gingerly climb out of the bed and reach over to pick up the baby. She settles back on the bed again, propped up against the pillows and, as the crying ceases and Abigail starts to nurse, he drifts back off to sleep again.

He can't have been asleep for more than a few minutes before the sound of crying rouses him again… only this time, it's not the cry of a newborn. He opens his eyes slightly, but at the sight of Veronica, cradling the now-sleeping baby to her chest as she sobs openly, they fly open and he sits up in alarm.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he says. "Has something happened?"

She shakes her head, even as her face crumples and her shoulders hunch over.

"Veronica, please… talk to me." He reaches out to touch her arm. She just hiccups, the sobs coming harder, as she holds Abigail closer and he glances down at the baby in concern. "I'm gonna put her down, okay?"

He shifts closer, gently lifting Abigail out of her arms, supporting her head and neck as he slides out of the bed and round to the bassinet, carefully placing her down inside. Turning back to Veronica, he finds her now clutching one of his pillows to her chest, face buried in the material as she rocks gently, still crying.

Logan's chest tightens at the sight of her in such distress, and he's quick to slip back into the bed, sitting beside her and pulling her into his arms, pillow and all.

"Hey, it's okay," he murmurs comfortingly. "It's gonna be okay."

"I can't keep this up, Logan," she manages between sobs. "I need to sleep. I'm so tired that I can't even see straight."

"I know." He runs his hands up and down her arms comfortingly.

"She's always hungry, and I can't cope with it." She gives a hiccupping sigh. "I don't know what to do."

He feels a lump form in his throat at the despair in her tone, and he wishes he could take it all on for her, feedings and all, but he doesn't have the necessary anatomy for that, so all he can offer is his support and encouragement.

"You're gonna get through it, okay?" he says firmly. "You're Veronica Mars, you can do anything."

That earns him a soft, watery chuckle as she leans into his arms, her head against his shoulder.

"Listen," he continues, extracting the pillow from her grasp and reaching for her hand, entwining their fingers. "If I could feed the baby for you now, I would, and as soon as you can start using a breast pump, I will."

She nods against his shoulder and he tightens his hand around hers in response.

"Look, I know it's hard, and that there are going to be a lot of sleepless nights ahead, but you _will_ get through this. I know you will." He shifts then, moving so he's facing her and can pull her into a hug. "Come here."

She wraps her arms around him and he exhales with relief when he feels her relax against him. When they part, he runs the pads of his thumbs across her cheeks, wiping away the tears, then cups her face in his hands.

"I believe in you," he says softly. "You're gonna be a kickass mom, Veronica. You're _already_ a kickass mom."

"Thank you," she whispers.

He smiles, placing a soft, closed-mouth kiss to her lips, before indicating for her to lie down. Veronica complies, snuggling back against him as he spoons behind her, holding her close as she drifts back off to sleep.

He doesn't follow in sleep immediately though, his thoughts still with her. While he knows she's struggling with having gone from being independent, with a life of her own, to having her whole life defined by Abigail now, he meant everything he said just now. She's been doing great so far and despite her fears that she wouldn't be maternal enough, she's amazing with Abigail. When they drove home from the hospital—a nerve-wracking experience if ever there was one—she insisted on sitting in the back so she could check on the baby the whole time; and as exhausted as he knows she is, she's been soldiering on, making sure that she gives their daughter everything she needs.

And of course, she's not letting him slack off either. For the last few days, he's been changing diapers—and the less said about the realities of that, the better—burping Abigail, dressing her, trying to get her to stop crying, not to mention doing the shopping, cooking and cleaning. He just wishes he could do more to help with the sleepless nights right now, because despite both of their sleep patterns being disturbed, Veronica's having a much harder time of it than he is.

* * *

**Early May 2020**

**Two Weeks Old**

"Here, I'll burp her," Logan offers when Veronica finishes giving Abigail her early morning feed.

"Thanks." Veronica gives him a grateful smile, handing her over before repositioning the nursing pads back into her nursing bra and then refastening her top.

Logan adjusts the cloth that rests on his shoulder, then cradles Abigail to his chest, rubbing her back in smooth circles, like the nurse at the hospital showed him. It takes a few moments, but the baby finally burps, and then gives a soft gurgle, nuzzling her head against the crook of his neck. He smiles in response.

"Look, I'll take her for a while," he tells Veronica. "You get some sleep, okay?"

She looks between him and their daughter dubiously. "Are you sure?"

"Veronica, I can handle her for a couple of hours," he assures her with a small smile. "We'll be fine."

"I _am_ really tired," she admits eventually.

"I know you are," he says. "And you need to grab whatever sleep you can, so don't look a gift horse in the mouth, okay?"

She looks at him consideringly for a moment, before nodding. "Okay."

Holding the baby close to his chest, he leans down and kisses her lightly. "Sleep well."

Turning off the bedroom light and closing the door behind him, he makes his way down the hall to the living room.

"Looks like it's just you and me, kid," he says, taking a seat on the couch and carefully adjusting Abigail so she's nestled in his lap.

Quiet now that she's eaten, she stares up at him in fascination, her pale-blue eyes fixed on his face. He's read that a baby's eye colour changes as their body develops more melanin, so they probably won't know what colour her eyes will actually be for a few more months, but right now, as she gazes up at him, Logan thinks she looks just like Veronica. Well, except for her ears… unfortunately, those are all him.

Logan smiles down at her, not even able to begin to describe the emotions he's feeling right in this moment, as he gazes down at his baby daughter. The best he can come up with is a combination of love, affection, excitement, joy… and just a bit of nervousness and terror… all swirling together in his belly.

He's responsible for this tiny little human's life now. She's relying on him and Veronica to feed and clothe and bathe her, to keep her alive, and that's a fucking big responsibility. No more selfishness on their parts; Abigail comes first. Always.

He runs a finger down her cheek, smiling as she turns her head towards the touch, her mouth opening instinctively, looking for food.

"Sorry, sweetheart, Mommy's the one with the milk, and she's sleeping right now," he murmurs. "Besides, you can't be hungry again; you just ate."

He reaches for her small hands, prying them out of their fists and running a finger down her palms, another smile gracing his lips as she grabs onto them. He leans forward, having also read that newborn babies can only see about a foot in front of them, and sticks his tongue out at her. She purses her lips, her tongue just visible between them, and he inhales in surprise. She's actually trying to copy him. He grins. He didn't believe Veronica yesterday when she said newborn babies could do that already, but he certainly stands corrected now.

There's movement from the kitchen then, and Pony appears in the living room, padding over to Logan and sitting at his feet.

"Hey, girl," he greets softly, carefully gathering Abigail up in his arms again. "Come to see the newest member of the family?"

Keith kept Pony for most of last week, to give Logan and Veronica time to adjust to their new arrival without a dog getting in the way, but he dropped her back home at the weekend. Pony seems to be dealing with the changes well, though she still seems a little wary of the baby, especially as Abigail is taking up all of their time now, leaving very little left for her. She rests her head on Logan's knee and looks up at him with pleading eyes.

"I know, I know. You want some fresh air. We'll go out soon, I promise." When the dog continues to stare up at him, he chuckles, before glancing down at Abigail. "Geez, look at me, talking to a dog and a newborn like they can actually respond."

The baby starts to whimper, so he stands and begins walking the room, hoping to sooth her before she starts screaming the place down. Making his way over to the French doors, he angles his arms so they're facing the beach.

"Okay, so I know you can't see it yet, but out there is sand and waves and the whole Pacific Ocean," he says softly. "When you're old enough, we'll build sandcastles and play games, and I'll teach you to surf. I tried teaching your mommy once, but it didn't stick. You're an Echolls though, you have surfer's blood in you." He looks down at the baby to find her yawning, her eyes fluttering closed. "Or maybe you'll end up taking after Mommy after all, and you'll just doze in the sun while Daddy catches all the waves."

He carries the sleeping baby over to the second bassinet they've set up in the living room, and places her down inside. Starting for the kitchen, he pats his leg and looks to Pony.

"Come on girl, let's leave Abi to sleep, huh?"

Pony dutifully follows him into the kitchen, where he sets down some food for her, before fixing a cold breakfast. Placing Veronica's portion in the fridge for later, he carries his to the couch and turns the TV on to a low volume as Pony makes herself comfortable at his feet.

The peace and quiet lasts for about thirty minutes, before the baby wakes and starts to cry. Lifting her out of the bassinet, Logan discovers she needs changing, so, trying to keep as quiet as possible as he walks past his and Veronica's bedroom, he heads for the baby's room to clean her up.

Ten minutes later, with Abigail freshly changed and clothed, he settles back on the couch again, rocking her in his arms. It's not long before a sleepy-looking Veronica appears from the hallway, yawning as she heads across the room and sinks down beside him on the sofa.

"Sleep well?" he asks, kissing the top of her head as she leans her cheek against his upper arm.

"Yeah, I did." She nods. "Thank you, for looking after her."

"Anytime," he says. "You don't even have to ask. Besides, I'm her Dad, not her babysitter, and we're doing the co-parenting thing, remember?"

Veronica smiles, her cheek brushing against his shirt as she nods. "Yeah, I know."

She sits up then, leaning closer to Abigail, smiling down at her. "Hi, sweet thing. Did Daddy take good care of you?"

Abigail just stares up at Veronica intently, just as she had done with him earlier.

"He did, huh?" Veronica continues. "He's good like that. He takes good care of me, too."

She smiles at him then and his breath catches in his throat at the love and trust in her expression.

He swallows, his voice threatening to crack as he replies, "And you do the same for us."

She nods, holding his gaze for a long moment, before she turns her attention to Abigail again.

"Look at her, Logan," she murmurs softly. "Isn't she perfect?"

"She is."

"We made her." Her voice holds a hint of awe and he feels a rush of love for both her and their daughter.

"We did," he agrees. "You know, she's looking more and more like you every day."

Veronica studies her for a moment, before slowly nodding.

"Yeah, I'm starting to see it now." She grins suddenly. "Still has your ears though."

He sighs. "So I've been told."

* * *

**Mid-May 2020**

**One Month Old**

Veronica sits anxiously in the doctor's office, the baby restless in her arms. They're here for Abi's one-month check-up. With Logan back at work now, it's the first time she's ventured out on her own with the baby, and she's finding it pretty nerve-wracking.

"Good morning, Veronica," Dr. Daniels, the paediatrician they've chosen for Abigail, greets with a smile as she enters the office. "How are you and little Abigail?"

"Morning, Dr. Daniels." Veronica forces a smile, shifting Abi in her arms as she starts to fuss. "We're doing okay."

"Good to hear. Let's get started, shall we?"

"Sure."

She undresses the baby so that Dr. Daniels can weigh and measure her, and Veronica struggles not to reach for Abi when she starts crying partway through. The doctor smiles knowingly as she glances in Veronica's direction.

"She's doing fine, Veronica," she says gently. "Nothing to worry about."

"I know," Veronica says quickly. "It's just… hard… not to respond when she cries."

"Perfectly understandable." Dr. Daniels nods. "Okay, we're all done."

Veronica puts Abigail in a fresh diaper and takes a seat with her as the doctor looks over the chart she's holding.

"Well, Abigail is within healthy weight and height ranges," Dr. Daniels tells her. "She is a little on the small size though, but that's normal given how petite you are, so as long as she continues to grow steadily, that's nothing to worry about."

"That's good to hear." Veronica smiles with relief.

The doctor moves on to Abigail's physical next, listening to her heart and lungs with a stethoscope—which the baby is not happy about at all—then checking her eyes, ears, mouth, and the soft spots on her head. Next she tests Abigail's reflexes and muscle tone, before making sure her belly button is healing nicely, and moving her legs and hips to make sure there are no problems with her hip joints. By the end of it, Abi's whimpers have died down and she's staring up at the doctor in fascination.

"Well, Veronica," Dr. Daniels says when Abigail is fully dressed again. "All looks good to me. Abigail is very healthy and developing well."

"That's great." Veronica smiles.

"How is she doing at home? Is she sleeping well?"

"She's getting there," Veronica admits. "She's still waking to nurse two or three times a night, but she's been sleeping a little longer in the middle of the night this week."

"It may take a while for her to get into a more regular sleeping pattern, but if you haven't already, you can start getting into a bedtime routine: dressing her in pyjamas, reading stories, dimming the lights."

"Okay, I can try that."

"And in the day? Is she eating regularly, staying awake for longer periods?"

"Yes, to both." Veronica nods. "Though more so on the former than the latter."

Dr. Daniels nods. "Have you noticed if she quiets down when she hears your voice, even just for a short time?"

Veronica thinks for a moment, before nodding. "Yes, actually, she does. Is that a good sign?"

"It is. It means she's recognising your voice and is seeing you as a source of comfort."

"She's started making these cute noises, too, when she sees me and Logan."

"That's also a good sign." The doctor smiles. "While it'll be a few more months before she says her first word, those gurgling and cooing sounds you're hearing are the first step to speech. Even this young, she's learning and absorbing all the time… so the more you talk to her, the more she learns."

"Really? I didn't realise that."

"Pretty cool, huh?"

Veronica looks down at Abigail, running her hand across her head. "I'll say."

"And how are _you_ doing, Veronica?" the doctor asks then. "It's a big adjustment, becoming a mom, having a new baby to care for."

Veronica tries to smile, though it comes out more of a grimace. "I'm… coping, I guess. I mean, it's difficult, and stressful, and I feel like a sleep-deprived zombie most of the time, but then, you know, I look at her, and I just… it all seems worth it, you know?"

"I do." Dr. Daniels smiles. "But, you know, if you're feeling overwhelmed, you don't have to pretend everything's okay. It's perfectly normal to feel down, or like you can't cope, and there's certainly nothing wrong with asking for some help."

Veronica nods, even though her chest tightens at the doctor's words. "Logan's been great, you know? He helps out when he can, and he loves Abigail so much."

"But?" the doctor prompts, obviously sensing she's holding back.

"But… he's back at work now, and I'm alone with the baby all day. I have to do everything myself." Veronica takes a breath, swallowing down the lump in her throat, even as tears begin to form in her eyes. "And Logan's great when he gets home, but he has a high-pressure job and needs a good night's sleep, and so I'm the one up all night, and I don't know… I just end up feeling frustrated, and then I get angry with him because of it."

Dr. Daniels nods in understanding, a sympathetic look on her face. "It's also completely normal to feel that way, Veronica. Your hormone levels are still fluctuating and, well, who wouldn't feel a little frustrated in that situation?"

"Yeah…"

"Listen, if you need anyone to talk to, I'd be happy to recommend someone for you," Dr. Daniels tells her. "And it could be good for you to find a new mothers group to join. Spend some time with other moms who know exactly what you're going through."

"I'll think about it." Veronica nods, even though she's not sure that's something she'll actually do.

"What about your family, are they able to help you out a bit?"

Veronica gives a shrug. "Well, my dad's been offering to help as much as he can, but he works full-time and can't really afford to take time off. And my mom, uh, she lives in Phoenix, and… well, we're not exactly close."

"Ah, I see," says the doctor. "Well, all I can recommend is not to be afraid to ask for help, whether that's from Logan, your father, or your friends. You're not alone in this, Veronica."

"Thank you."

The appointment finishes up with Dr. Daniels giving Abigail her second Hepatitis B shot, during which she screams her head off, making Veronica want to snatch her up and keep her away from sharp needles forever, and after a few minutes of privacy to try to calm her daughter down—which she isn't particularly successful at—she straps Abigail into her car seat and heads out of the clinic.

Of course, Abi cries all the way home—from hunger or discomfort after the jab, Veronica's not entirely sure—but it only causes her to worry for the entire drive back, all the way up until she can sink down onto the sofa, bottle of water and snacks in hand, and feed her.

* * *

**End May 2020**

**Six Weeks Old**

Logan smiles, pausing in the process of trying to hold Abigail's kicking legs still enough to get them into her romper, as Veronica wraps her arms around his waist from behind.

"Hey, handsome, how goes the Daddy-ing?"

She leans around him and he turns his head to kiss her on the cheek.

"It would be going much more smoothly if she would just stay still for one second," he says, frowning at his daughter in mock irritation.

Abi just looks up at him, a picture of innocence, and gurgles happily.

"Welcome to my world," Veronica responds with a smile. "She becoming quite the wriggler." She moves to Logan's side and reaches out tickle Abi's stomach. "Aren't you, sweet thing?"

Abi just lets out another gurgle, and then a coo, before her eyes crinkle and her lips curve up at the edges.

Veronica inhales in a sharp gasp. "Logan, do you see that? She's smiling! She hasn't done that before."

"I do." Logan's own mouth curves up in response, his chest flooding with warmth at the sight of his baby girl's first ever smile. He places his hand over Veronica's, still resting on Abi's stomach. "Aren't you just a big overachiever already? Taking after your mom, aren't you?"

"But her smile's all yours," Veronica murmurs, extracting her hand from under Logan's and tracing Abigail's cheek with the back of one finger. "Makes up for the ears."

"Hey!" Logan exclaims in mock outrage. "Stop mocking the ears already. I can't help how they are."

"Sorry." Veronica gives a soft laugh, turning her attention back to Abi. "Let's finish getting you dressed, huh?"

They work together, Veronica holding Abigail still so Logan can slide her arms and legs into the romper without incident, and then they get both the baby and themselves ready for a peaceful Sunday morning walk along the beach.

Later that evening, Logan enters their bedroom, baby monitor in hand.

"Did she go down okay?" Veronica asks, huddled under the bedcovers, ready for a much-needed early night… she needs to get whatever sleep she can now, because who knows how often she'll be up in the middle of the night?

"Eventually," he says, crossing the room. "Took a while, but she's asleep now."

He places the baby monitor down on the nightstand and tugs his shirt over his head, then strips down to his boxers. He slides into bed and Veronica turns over to face him, smiling when he opens his arms to her. She shifts closer, resting her head against his shoulder and pressing her palm to his chest as she snuggles into his side.

"This is nice," she murmurs, enjoying the feel of his fingers running up and down her upper arm. "We haven't spent time together like this in a while."

"We've been kinda preoccupied lately," he agrees, his smile evident in his tone.

"Yeah, we have," she agrees, pausing for a moment, before continuing, "Listen, I'm sorry if I've been snappy with you lately; if I've made you feel like I don't want you around. I don't mean to be; and that couldn't be further from the truth."

"Okay…" he murmurs softly, his hand moving to her back now.

"It's just hard, being here on my own all day, dealing with the dirty diapers and the crying, and what feels like constant breastfeeding." She sighs heavily. "By the end of the day, I just need a break, and you've been awesome with that, but you need your sleep, which leaves me getting up with Abi all through the night. I've just been feeling frustrated, which has been turning to anger because I'm so tired, and you're the one who's been getting the brunt of it."

There's a long moment of silence as Logan nods slowly, his chin brushing the top of her head.

"You know I'm happy to help with whatever you need," he says eventually. "Now that you're using the breast pump, I can get up for night-time feedings."

"I can't ask you to do that, Logan," she replies. "You need to be well-rested. You can't fly tired."

"No, but you can't keep surviving on too little sleep either," he says. "Look, we'll work out a schedule or something. Try to share the duties a bit more."

"Okay." Veronica nods, lifting her head and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. "Thank you."

Before she can pull back, Logan's hand presses against her back and he holds her there, adjusting his position so he can kiss her properly. Veronica sighs into his mouth at the long-awaited contact. They've barely managed to fit in any alone time since Abi was born, and she's been missing his company.

Logan shifts her so they're lying side by side, and, still kissing her, runs his hand over her hip and to her thigh, urging her leg over his. Veronica lets herself relax into the embrace—she's missed these moments with him—but when she feel his arousal pressing against her thigh, she stiffens, pulling away and turning onto her back, letting her arm rest over her eyes.

"What's wrong?" Logan sounds concerned.

"Sorry, I just… I can't," she mumbles. "Not yet. It's too soon."

"Hey, that's okay," he says softly, reaching for her arm and lifting it from her face. "I wasn't expecting you to."

Veronica turns her head to look at him, shooting a pointed glance towards his crotch. "Your body says otherwise."

He smiles sheepishly. "I can't exactly control it. It's been six weeks, Veronica, and you know I can't help how I react around you."

He reaches over, letting his fingers run across her cheek, tucking her hair behind her ear before running his hand along her arm and then letting his hand rest over her still slightly rounded stomach. She flinches at the touch, trying to shy away from it, but she can't ignore the expression of hurt that crosses Logan's face as he removes his hand.

"Sorry," she mutters, by way of explanation. " _My_ body's not exactly back to normal yet."

"You'll always be perfect to me, Veronica," he tells her sincerely. "No matter what you look like."

Veronica shakes her head. "I'm really not a pretty picture right now, Logan. There's all these flabby bits I'd rather you didn't see."

"Hey, I don't care about that," he insists with a gentle smile. "You've just borne our daughter; a little flabbiness is allowed."

"Logan…" she mutters, a hint of warning in her tone.

"Like I said," he continues. "I'm not expecting anything from you, not until you're ready. I just want you to know that you don't need to be self-conscious around me. I love you, no matter what."

"Veronica's not convinced, but she forces a smile and leans over to kiss him again.

"Thank you." She pulls back and settles back beside him, saying softly, "I have missed you, though. Can you just hold me? I wanna be close to you."

"Of course."

He kisses her once more, then gestures for her to get comfortable. He wraps his arms around her and Veronica relaxes against him, breathing in his scent and listening to his heartbeat, as she drifts off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :).
> 
> A note about Abigail's Hep B vaccination: from my research, it appears the second dose of Hep B can be given to a baby at either the 1-month or 2-month check-up. For the sake of the story timeline, I decided to make it the 1-month check-up :).
> 
> Secondly, I'm not sure exactly when the next update will be posted, because I will be travelling home from deployment 2 weeks today and it's about a 24-hour journey (leaving Tuesday AM, arriving home Wednesday AM). I'll try to get it posted as close to Tuesday as possible :).


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone :). So it turns out I can post today after all, because my flight home got delayed by 20 hours (the joys of military flight schedules). So, rather than getting to the air terminal at a decent 7:40am this morning, I have the fun of getting there at 3:30am tomorrow morning, and arriving back home at 5am on Thursday!

**Mid-June 2020**

**Two Months Old**

Veronica lets out a sigh of relief as she pulls the car into the driveway. While it's been good to get out of the house on her own for a couple of hours, she's been missing Abigail more than she's willing to admit. After spending pretty much every waking hour with her baby girl for the last two months, she was certainly in need of some time to herself, but it was more difficult than she anticipated to leave her with Logan this morning as she headed out to meet Mac and Wallace for brunch.

And, yeah, was pretty awesome to partake in grown-up conversation again without it revolving around nursing times, sleep patterns and baby development, but Veronica was surprised to find she felt strangely bereft without Abigail by her side. She would instinctively turn to check on her every couple of minutes, only to remember she wasn't there. So, when brunch was over, even though Logan told her to take as much time as she wanted, she found herself stepping on the gas and hightailing it back home as quickly as possible.

With a smile, she lets herself into the beach house, calling out a cheerful, "Hey, I'm home."

She hears no response, and she frowns as she places her keys and purse on the table by the door. Heading into the living room, she comes to a stop when she lays eyes on the scene before her. Catching her bottom lip between her teeth, she can't stop the smile from spreading across her face at the sight of Logan sprawled out on the couch, fast asleep. He's bare-chested, Abigail lying atop him, also asleep and wearing nothing but a diaper with yellow ducks on it. One of Logan's hands cradles her bottom, while the other arm dangles off the couch. An empty feeding bottle sits on the coffee table, next to a terrycloth towel. Not one to miss out on the action, Pony is curled up at the other end of the sofa, using Logan's bare feet as a pillow.

Veronica feels a lump rise up in her throat at the sight of them, and she swallows down the urge to cry happy tears. She quickly pulls out her phone, taking a couple of photos of the three of them, before moving closer and snapping a few close-ups of Logan and Abigail together. Sliding the phone back into her pocket, she sits down on the floor beside him, drawing his arm around her shoulder and linking her fingers with his, resting her head against him as she watches Abi sleep.

How could she have ever thought she didn't want this?

Sure, the last few weeks have been hard, and there have been times she's felt like she's not cut out for this motherhood thing, but then there are moments like this; these quiet, peaceful moments with her husband and daughter, and she can't imagine being anywhere else.

Bringing Logan's hand to her lips, she presses a soft kiss to his knuckles, before returning her head to his shoulder and studying Abi's gorgeous little face as she sleeps. A moment later, a mumble escapes his mouth, and she lifts her head to see his eyes fluttering open. He smiles lazily when he sees her.

"Hey," he whispers softly.

"Hey," she whispers back, letting go of his hand and shifting so she can face him. "Family naptime?"

"Yeah." He grins, still keeping his voice low, so he doesn't wake the baby. "We were both exhausted after she spent an hour screaming her head off for apparently no reason at all."

"You should have called me," Veronica whispers back. "I would have come back."

"Nah, it was _your_ time." He shakes his head. "It's all good. We came to an understanding."

"Yeah?" Veronica smiles.

"Uh huh." He gives a smirk, but doesn't elaborate.

"Hey," she murmurs, "you think we can get her in her own bed without her waking up?"

"You can try," he says, "though she seems comfortable enough right here."

"That may be so…" Veronica lets go of his hand, shifting so she's kneeling before him and can lean close to his ear. "…but seeing you with her like this, well, it's doing all kinds of things to me."

Logan's eyebrows shoot up. " _Really_?"

"Uh, huh." She nods. "And I was thinking… if she'll sleep for a little while longer, we could squeeze in a quickie."

"You sure?" Logan looks surprised.

They still haven't been fully intimate since Abigail was born, both of them too tired and stressed, plus Veronica hasn't felt ready yet, but in the last few days, with Abi starting to get into a more regular sleeping pattern, and Veronica gaining more of her old confidence back, she's been missing him.

"Yes, I'm sure."

She rises up, gently lifting Abigail from Logan's chest. The baby gives a small whimper as Veronica holds her close, but thankfully doesn't wake. She carries Abi down the hallway to the master bedroom and carefully places her down in her bassinet, covering her with a blanket. She waits for a moment, making sure she stays asleep, before grabbing the baby monitor. She grabs some protection as well—even though the chances of her actually getting pregnant again are slim, they can't be too careful—and heads back to the living room.

Logan is still lying in the same position on the couch, his eyes closed, though Pony is now nowhere to be seen. Veronica lets her gaze roam his half-naked form, before placing the monitor down on the coffee table and shucking her pants and underwear, leaving her shirt on. She climbs atop him and smirks when she realises he's already hard.

"Hey." His hands come up to grip her hips as his eyes open and he grins up at her lustfully.

She returns the grin, reaching into his sweatpants and wrapping her fingers around him. He shifts his hips, so she can tug the pants down, and then everything happens in a blur. One minute she's ripping open the condom wrapper and rolling it onto him and the next, he's thrusting up into her, hard and fast, Veronica bracing her hands on the arm of the couch behind his head as she loses herself in the pleasure. It's been way too long, and they really don't have time to take things slow. They can do sweet and romantic later; right now, she just needs the release—before Abigail wakes up and it's back to reality again—and from the way Logan's groaning beneath her, his breath coming fast and harsh, he needs this just as much as she does.

She comes with a soft cry, her thighs trembling and inner muscles pulsating around him, collapsing against his chest as he tips over the edge a few seconds later. His arms wind around her back and they don't speak for several long moments, catching their breath, before Veronica lets out a soft chuckle.

"That was—"

"Great?"

She shakes her head, grinning against his chest. "I was gonna say it wasn't what I was planning for the first time we did this again."

"No, but it _was_ great."

She lifts her head, smiling down at him and kissing him lightly. "It was. And long overdue."

"Uh huh."

She kisses him again, before laying her head against his chest, snuggling against him. "I'm sorry, for making you wait so long. I just… wasn't ready yet."

"Hey, you have nothing to apologise for." He runs his hands up and down her back, and the touch makes her shiver. "It's completely understandable that you'd want to wait. And two extra weeks isn't _that_ long."

She hums in satisfaction. "We're gonna have to find some time to do this properly though."

He nods, his chin brushing against the top of her head. "We will. Maybe your dad could take Abigail for a night? He's been hinting heavily at wanting more babysitting duties."

Veronica's stomach twists at the idea of spending a night apart from her baby. "Yeah, maybe."

Before either of them can say anymore, the sound of crying filters through the baby monitor, and with a sigh, Veronica sits up, Logan quickly following.

"That's our cue." She kisses him quickly, then gets up off the sofa and tugs her clothes back on.

She makes a brief stop to the bathroom to clean herself up, before getting Abigail up. She changes her diaper, then dresses her in a clean romper, catching Logan's eye as he enters the room with a grin on his face. Sidling up behind her, he slides his arms around her waist and lowers his mouth to her neck.

"Hey," she says softly, tilting her head to give him better access.

She smiles as she reaches for a rattle, holding it out to Abi and watching as the baby smiles at the sound. Logan kisses her neck again, his hands flattening over her stomach, and she resists the instinctive urge to pull away, very aware that she's still carrying a few extra pounds of baby weight, but then his fingers inch down lower, stopping just above her crotch, and she shivers. He presses himself against her back, letting her feel his hardening length, and she gives an exaggerated sigh.

"Dear, God, I've unleashed a monster," she teases. "One taste and you're already coming back for more."

"Taste? I don't recall any _tasting_ back there," he murmurs silkily, breath hot against her ear. "Though, it certainly can be arranged."

Veronica's eyes slide closed, thoughts drifting to unmentionable places for a moment, before she shakes herself out of it and returns her attention to Abigail.

"Not right now, it can't," she says regretfully. "We have this little one to keep entertained first."

"Aw, but I've missed you," he mumbles, kissing her neck again.

"I've missed you, too," she agrees softly. "We'll make some time, I promise."

With one last kiss to the crook of her neck, he lifts his head and releases her, stepping back as she lifts Abi from the changing table and brings her to her chest. Logan follows as she heads back to the living room and places Abigail, tummy down, on the square blanket in the middle of the room, before sitting on the floor in front of the couch. She shoots Logan a smile as he settles behind her, cradling her between his legs. He leans back against the sofa, and she turns her attention to the baby once again.

* * *

**Mid-July 2020**

**Three Months Old**

"Are you sure you don't mind coming?" Logan asks for the fourth time that morning.

"I'm sure." Despite her annoyance, Veronica pastes a smile on her face. "Just like I was the last three times you asked me."

He looks at her doubtfully. "Yeah, I know, but—"

"But nothing, Logan," she cuts him off, looking up from the soft stacking blocks she's holding out to Abigail. "I can handle a few hours of socialising at a Navy barbecue."

"Okay." He nods, looking somewhat appeased as he checks his watch. "We'll need to leave at eleven."

"I know," Veronica mutters, turning her attention to the baby again. "You've said _that_ three times too."

There's a pause, before she hears him sigh, and she lifts her head to find him watching her with a bemused frown.

"Okay, what's got your panties in a twist this morning?"

Veronica shakes her head. "Nothing. I'm fine."

He just raises an eyebrow disbelievingly.

"Seriously, I'm fine," she insists.

His eyes narrow suspiciously, but he gives a short nod before turning towards the kitchen. "If you say so."

She watches him go, then looks down at Abigail again for a moment, before sighing and picking her up. She follows Logan into the kitchen to find him pouring a mug of coffee… a delicious-smelling, steaming mug of coffee that she can't drink because her caffeine intake is still restricted while she's breastfeeding and she's already maxed out her limit for the day. As he takes a satisfying sip, Veronica frowns, eyeing the mug enviously as any words of apology die on her lips.

"What?" he asks expectantly. "Come to chew me out some more?"

She shakes her head, biting back the sarcastic comment she's dying to make, and instead adjusts Abigail in her arms. "Can you take her? I need to shower."

"Sure." Logan puts down the coffee mug and reaches for Abi, bringing her to his chest.

"Thanks. Gimme about thirty minutes and I'll be ready to go."

She heads down the hall and into their bedroom, tugging off her clothes as she makes her way into the bathroom. As she steps under the hot spray, she sighs heavily. She knows she's being snappy and irritable today, but it's been a long two weeks and she's pretty much at the end of her tether. Abi's been going through a growth spurt, which means she's been nursing more than usual and waking more often at night. And of course, Veronica's been the only one getting up with her because Logan has just worked two weeks of nights… which also means she's been having to keep Abi extra quiet during the day so he can get some sleep.

On top of all that, there's this barbecue down at the base in San Diego this afternoon, which, if she's honest, she really doesn't want to go to, but it's pretty obvious that Logan's dying to show Abigail off to everyone, so she's gonna suck it up and make nice with his Navy buddies and their spouses for a few hours.

She showers and dresses—in the most appropriate outfit she can find for a summer barbecue on a Naval base—then goes to work on covering up the dark circles under her eyes. By the time she reappears in the living room, Logan already has Abi fastened in her car seat, and has the baby bag packed and slung over his shoulder, ready to go.

"You look nice," he comments, dropping a kiss to her temple as he moves past her, heading for the hall.

"Thanks." She nods, glancing down at the pale-blue button-up blouse and capri pants she finally decided on, before adding, "You do, too."

He looks more than nice, actually; in fact, he looks pretty delectable, clad in a tight, short-sleeved polo shirt and a pair of chinos, but she's not in the mood to tell him that this morning. He shoots her a smile as he opens the front door, though it doesn't quite reach his eyes, the tension between them still very much present. Veronica ignores it for now, as she picks up Abi and slips past him through the door. She fastens the car seat into the back of the car and then settles into the front as Logan swings the baby bag onto the seat beside Abi and slides into the driver's seat.

The drive to North Island is quiet, with Abi nodding off to sleep within the first few minutes, and Veronica not feeling up to making small talk. If Logan is bothered by her silence though, he doesn't show it. It's almost frustrating, actually, how calm he is, his grip on the steering wheel relaxed, his stance casual, and his expression giving nothing away. Veronica grits her teeth, before turning her attention to the ocean landscape out of her window.

It's not like they're fighting, exactly; in fact, they haven't really been doing much of anything lately, what with Logan away at night, then sleeping during the morning, and looking after Abi in the afternoon so Veronica can grab a nap, before he heads out to work again in the evening. In fact, this is the first time they've actually spent more than couple of hours together in almost two weeks, but despite all the things she's been dying to say to him, now that they have a chance, she has no idea how to even start the conversation.

As the scenery whizzes past, her eyes slide closed, the exhaustion of the last couple weeks catching up with her, and she drifts off to sleep.

* * *

Logan glances over at Veronica as he drives, a frown marring his features; she's been standoffish and snappy with him all morning. Not that he's particularly surprised, given the stress of the last couple weeks. He knows she's pissed because she's been stuck looking after Abi pretty much on her own while he's been on nights, but as bad as he feels for not being around, and for needing to sleep during the day, it's not like he had a choice in the matter.

Both she and Abi are still asleep when they arrive at North Island. He shows his pass to the guard at the gate and drives through the base, pulling up in the parking lot near the Officer's Mess. Reaching across the console, he brushes Veronica's hair back over her shoulder, before gently shaking her shoulder to rouse her. She blinks sleepily, before squinting at him in confusion.

"We're here," he tells her softly.

"Oh." She sits up, running her hands over her face before stretching her back. "Okay."

"Take your time," he says. "I'll get Abi ready."

He climbs out of the car, heading for the trunk and pulling out Abi's stroller, assembling it quickly before opening the back door and gently unfastening her from the car seat. She stirs, starting to cry as he lifts her out of the car.

"Hey, come on, Abs, don't cry," he murmurs, rocking her against his chest.

She only starts wailing more loudly at his words, and a moment later, Veronica's door opens and she gestures towards Abi.

"She's hungry," she says tiredly. "Give her here."

"I can feed her," he offers. "We have bottles in the baby bag, and there's a microwave in the Mess."

"No, it's fine, I'll do it." She holds out her hands for the baby.

"Okay," he says, passing Abi over to her in the front seat. "You sure this is the best place for it? We can go inside, find somewhere more secluded."

"I'm feeding my baby, Logan," she snaps. "What does being secluded have to do with it?"

"Nothing," he mutters, shaking his head, irritation building. "Just thought you might want some privacy."

"I'm fine right here."

"Okay. Well, I'm just gonna head inside." He nods towards the Mess building. "Sign us in."

Without waiting for her to reply, he starts walking across the parking lot.

As he goes, he hears her call out behind him, "Sure, leave me alone with the baby. Not like you haven't been doing it for the last two weeks."

Logan closes his eyes, clenching his jaw, torn between continuing and turning back. He's really tempted to go back to her, but he knows from experience that in the heat of the moment, he'll only say something he'll regret, so he keeps walking.

* * *

Veronica sits on the blanket they've laid out on the large grassy area behind the Officer's Mess, observing Logan as he sits at one of the picnic tables a few feet away, Abigail in his arms. He has this proud grin on his face, his eyes shining as he shows the baby off to the group of people surrounding him, and out of nowhere, a bolt of jealousy hits her right in the chest.

She knows it's irrational, but suddenly it doesn't seem at all fair that Logan is the one who gets to be centre of attention. After all, _she's_ the one who carried Abigail for nine months, _she's_ the one who suffered through all those hours of labour, who's been getting up at all times of the night to nurse her, who's be doing all the hard work while Logan sleeps the day away… yet, _he's_ the one being praised and congratulated for it.

_What the fuck is wrong with me?_ Veronica shakes her head. _I don't even_ want _to be the centre of these peoples' attention._

"Hi." Veronica looks up to find a familiar-looking woman smiling down at her. It takes a moment to place her, but then she realises she's one of the female officers she met at that dinner a few months ago. "You mind if I sit?"

"Sure, go ahead."

The woman takes a seat beside her on the blanket, giving Veronica a friendly smile. "Not sure if you remember me, but my name's Sam."

"Hi Sam. I'm Veronica." She gives the other woman a smile. "I do remember; we met in the bathroom at that dinner a few months back. You were discussing my husband's potential sexual prowess."

"I am so sorry about that," Sam says quickly. "I didn't mean to offend you. I never would have said anything if I'd known."

"It's fine. Don't worry about it." Veronica shakes her head, giving a smile. "And you didn't offend me."

"I just… I don't want you to think I would ever try to… act on anything," Sam says, anxiously. "I'm not that kind of girl."

"Well, I've only just met you, so I wouldn't know if you are or not," says Veronica, not unkindly. "But I _do_ know my husband, and I know _he_ wouldn't. Besides, he knows that if he ever did, I'd find out about it and kill him."

Sam just stares at her for a moment, seemingly at a loss for words, and Veronica has to fight the urge to keep a straight face.

"Don't worry, I'm kidding," she says, giving a soft laugh, as the girl beside her seems to relax a little. "I wouldn't kill him. I'd just make him pay in the most torturous way possible."

Sam's eyes widen again, looking alarmed. "You… uh…? I mean, what exactly do you…?"

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you… I'm a P.I.," Veronica explains with a smile. "I spend a lot of time tailing cheating spouses and catching them in the act."

"Really?" Sam blinks. "That's, uh… an interesting career choice."

Veronica shrugs. "It kind of runs in the family."

Sam nods, glancing over toward Logan, who is starting to make his way towards them. "You have a beautiful daughter."

"Thanks." Veronica smiles. "We like her."

"We certainly do." Logan's soft timbre reaches them as he approaches the blanket and takes a seat on Veronica's other side, easing Abigail into her arms. "Sorry, she's getting fussy. Think she's missing her mommy."

"I'll, uh, leave you both to it," says Sam then, standing up. "Nice to meet you, Veronica."

"You, too, Sam."

Veronica looks down at Abigail, who is fidgeting restlessly. "She's probably overstimulated, what with all the attention she's been getting today. Plus, it's really too warm out for her."

She kneels, placing Abi down in the detachable bassinet that fixes onto the stroller, and brings the hood up so she has some shade, before pulling the bassinet in front of her. With a smile, she tickles Abigail's tummy, then moves up to run her fingers over the spot just behind Abi's ear that always seems to make her smile.

Instead of just smiling this time though, Abi lets out a soft giggle and Veronica can't help but laugh lightly in response, her heart skipping a beat at the sound.

"She just laughed, Logan," she murmurs incredulously. "Her first laugh. Isn't it the most adorable thing you've ever heard?"

"Very adorable," agrees Logan.

She tickles under the baby's chin this time, and Abi's giggle becomes a full laugh, which makes both her and Logan laugh too.

"Our daughter's a genius," he jokes.

Veronica grins. "That you are, aren't you, sweet thing?"

She turns to Logan, only to find him looking at her intently. She's about to ask what's wrong when his hand slides up to her neck and he pulls her in for a kiss. The merest touch of his lips against hers is enough to release the tension she's been feeling all day, and she relaxes into it.

"I'm sorry," she murmurs when they part.

"What for?" His thumb strokes back and forth against her neck as he kisses her again.

"For how I've been acting," she admits. "The last couple weeks have been really hard for me, and I've been taking it out on you."

"They've been hard for me, too," he says softly.

"They have?" She gives a scoff. "All you've been doing is working and sleeping. I've been on pretty much constant parenting duties for two weeks straight."

"I know you have," Logan acknowledges. "And I'm sorry for that. I didn't like being away from both of you so much either."

"It feels like we've barely seen each other lately."

"I know." He nods. "I've missed you."

"Me, too."

"Listen," he says then. "Why don't we stick it out for another few minutes here, and then we'll head home and spend the rest of the day together, just the three of us."

"Okay." Veronica smiles. "I'd like that."

* * *

**Mid-August 2020**

**Four Months Old**

Logan wakes early Monday morning to the sound of Abigail's cries and is out of bed in a flash, scooping her up and quickly carrying her out of the bedroom before she makes too much noise.

"Shh, sweetheart, let's not wake Mommy, okay?" he whispers softly, heading for the kitchen. "It's her birthday, so we're gonna let her sleep in."

Of course, his soft murmurings don't help anything, and she only starts to cry harder, so he gently bounces her in his arms as he grabs a bottle of breast milk from the fridge and heats it in the microwave. He does a quick temperature test, then makes his way back down the hall to Abi's bedroom, and settles in the glider chair. Her small body cradled in the crook of his arm, she starts feeding enthusiastically, one hand trying to grab at the side of the bottle as the other presses against his bare chest and her legs kick restlessly against his arm.

"Hungry this morning, aren't we?" he observes, looking down at her affectionately. "See, you _are_ just like Mommy… just don't tell her I said that."

The sun streams in through the half-closed curtains, bathing them both in the early morning light. Abi stares right up at him, her eyes now a much darker blue than when she was born, and Logan feels this incredible surge of love for her as he watches her. She's growing so quickly and is developing this amazing personality already, which is incredible to see. She can be extremely stubborn when she wants to be—just like Veronica—but sometimes she just goes all quiet and gets this look of intense concentration on her face, and Veronica jokes that she's inherited his broodiness.

When Abi has finished the bottle, Logan changes her diaper and dresses her in one of the new outfits they bought the other day. He lifts her up, grinning as she 'stands' on the changing table, her knees bending as her feet press down on the mat and a soft 'gah' escapes her lips.

"Come on, baby girl," he says softly. "Let's go fix Mommy breakfast in bed."

He heads for the kitchen again and fastens Abi into her bouncer seat on the floor, before setting down some food for Pony and then getting to work on breakfast. As he fries up some bacon and eggs, he glances out at the ocean, the early morning sun glistening off the waves. What he wouldn't give to don his wetsuit and go surfing right now. It's been months since he's been in the water, with he and Veronica so busy with Abigail. Hell, he can barely even squeeze in his morning run these days, let alone any surfing.

Breakfast ready, he carries a tray laden with food into the bedroom, gently placing it down on the dresser before heading back to the kitchen and scooping Abi up out of her bouncer chair.

* * *

Veronica stretches lazily in their large bed as she slowly comes awake. She feels relaxed and well-rested… which is the first indication that something isn't quite right.

"Wake up, sleepyhead," comes Logan's smooth tone, close to her ear. "Someone wants to wish you Happy Birthday."

Before she can open her eyes, there's a gurgling sound from just above her, and then a warm, drool-covered hand presses against her face, half-covering her mouth.

"Eww," she manages, wiping her mouth as her eyes fly open to see her daughter looking down at her, Logan holding her steady on the mattress. "Thanks a lot, Abs."

Logan grins as he places Abi down on her chest, before leaning forward and kissing her softly on the lips.

"Happy Birthday," He smiles, sliding off the bed and crossing the room, picking up a tray. "I made you breakfast."

Veronica returns the smile as she lays Abi down beside her on the bed and pulls herself up into a sitting position. "Wow, talk about good service."

Logan places the tray on her lap before taking a seat on the bed next to Abi. "I aim to please."

She tucks into the food, but stops after a couple of mouthfuls, looking at him in confusion. "Wait a minute… why aren't you at work? And how come I feel like I've just slept twelve hours straight?"

"Firstly, because you pretty much have," he says. "Abi only woke twice in the night and I got up with her so you could sleep. And secondly, I have the day off."

"Really?" She perks up at that.

"Yeah, they've called a no-fly day. Something to do with a spillage on the runway." He grins, snagging a strip of bacon from her plate and lifting it to his mouth. "So, I'm all yours."

" _Really_?" Veronica repeats, a slow smile spreading across her face. "What _shall_ I do with you?"

"Well, nothing right now," he says, "because I have a full day planned for the three of us, but your dad is gonna take Abi for the night, so we'll have the house to ourselves."

"Re-ally?' Veronica utters for the third time, her tone breathy and suggestive as she brings her hand to her chest, her mouth dropping open in faux surprise. "Well, I do declare…"

Logan chuckles, leaning forward to kiss her gently, before picking up another piece of bacon and holding it out to her to take a bite. "Better keep your strength up, Mrs. Echolls, because I have big plans for tonight."

" _Big_ plans, you say?" Veronica fans herself. "Exactly how big are we talking?"

Logan leans in close to her ear as his hand travels up her thigh and he murmurs, "Enormous."

Veronica feels her face flush hot as he pulls away, and she's sure she's staring at him in a mixture of lust and wonder as she mutters, "Can't wait."

"But before we can get to that," he adds, pulling back, his expression giving nothing away now, "you have presents to open, then we're going on a family trip to the zoo, and this evening, we've having dinner with everyone."

* * *

That evening, after dinner, they barely even make it through the front door before Logan has Veronica pinned up against the wall in the hallway, his kisses doing the most delicious things to her. Her hands grab at his short hair, holding herself steady as he urges her legs around his waist. His tongue slips into her mouth at the same time as he rocks his hips against hers, and It feels so good for a moment, but then it's suddenly all too much and a feeling of being overwhelmed rushes through her.

Her hands slide down to his chest, pushing at him as she breaks the kiss. "Wait, stop a sec."

"What?" Logan looks down at her in concern, his face flushed and pupils dilated. "What's wrong?"

She shakes her head. "Can we slow down a bit?"

"Sure…" He looks a little puzzled, but nods anyway, loosening his grip on her as her legs drop to the floor.

"It's not… that was…" she tries, and fails, to articulate what she's feeling. "It's just… too much, all at once."

"Okay."

"I mean, I haven't even had time to get used to Abi being away for the night yet. Getting right down to it just seems… I don't know… selfish?"

Logan shakes his head, a small smile curling his lips.

"It's not selfish to take some time for yourself, Veronica," he assures her, stroking her hair back from her face. "You've been with Abi pretty much twenty-four-seven since she was born; it's okay to take a break once in a while. In fact, it's recommended. Especially on your birthday."

"Yeah, I know," she says. "It just feels weird, her not being here. It's like part of me is missing."

"I know, but it's only for a few hours," he reasons, "and you know Keith is going to spoil her rotten. She'll be fine."

"Yeah, you're right. She will," she agrees, relaxing against the wall and smiling up at him. "So, tell me about these _big_ plans you have for tonight."

Logan slides his arms around her waist and looks down at her with a warm smile. "What do you say to a nice, relaxing bath? Let those Jacuzzi jets work their magic."

Veronica's smile widens, rising up to kiss him. "I say, lead the way."

"When was the last time we did this?" wonders Veronica lazily, letting her head fall back against Logan's shoulder in the bath as she rests her hands on his thighs.

"I can't even remember," he mumbles, nuzzling his nose against her neck.

"I've really missed spending time with you like this," she says. "I knew having a baby would change things, but I didn't realise how much Abi would completely take over my life."

"Which is all the more reason to take some time for yourself whenever you can," he responds pointedly.

"Touché."

Her voice catches as Logan's hands come up to cup her breasts, before sliding down over her stomach—which is thankfully finally regaining its pre-pregnancy shape and firmness—and dipping beneath the water. His fingers move between her legs, and she sighs with pleasure as he teases her clit with steady, practiced strokes.

"Hmm, feels good," she mumbles, her back arching slightly as she feels a tell-tale tightening in her lower belly.

"It's gonna feel more than good soon," he says, his other hand joining the first as he slides a finger inside her. "I guarantee it."

"Fuck, yeah…" Veronica sucks in a sharp breath, as he slides in a second finger, expertly working her up, just the way she needs.

"That's it," murmurs Logan, his tongue briefly darting out to tease the side of her neck. "Just let go."

The heady combination of his fingers stroking and teasing, his mouth and tongue on her neck, and his arousal pressing insistently against her lower back, is all it takes for her to tip over the edge, and she comes around his fingers, her hands gripping his thighs as a soft, keening moan escapes her lips. Logan continues to stroke her until she comes down from the high, finally kissing her cheek and releasing her, sliding his arms around her waist.

"So." He grins. "You've had a good birthday?"

"Uh huh…" is all Veronica can manage, her head still spinning, her breathing still heavy. "Awesome."

"Well, it's not over yet," he teases. "There's still plenty more to come in the bedroom."

"I'm counting on it," she returns, even as she relaxes back against him again.

"Good." They sit in the tub in silence for a few moments, just enjoying being close to each other, before Logan speaks up. "Can you believe it's been a year to the day since we found out you were pregnant?"

"I know, it's crazy, right?" Veronica murmurs softly. "I'd gone to bed the night before feeling alone and miserable—you were on the other side of the country, and I didn't think I'd ever get pregnant—and then everything changed completely in twenty-four hours. You came to Neptune, I flew a plane and we found out we were having a baby."

"And now we have the most beautiful daughter in the world," he declares. Veronica smiles with amusement, but doesn't reply, which must make Logan worried, because he adds, "You don't agree?"

"No, of course I do," she assures him with a smile. "I was just remembering a conversation from a few months ago about certain people having their daughters wrapped around their little fingers. I was right; you're such a sucker for her."

Logan just shrugs behind her. "So what if I am? She's perfect. I mean, she's half you and half me, and that's pretty fucking amazing."

"It is," Veronica agrees, her heart skipping a beat at the thought. "But just wait until she gets older and those frustrating personality traits she's inherited from both of us come out in full force. We'll see how perfect you think she is then."

"Don't care." Logan's arms tighten around her. "She'll always be perfect to me."

"Yeah, okay."

She humours him even as she thinks, _just face it, Veronica. He's probably right._

"But enough baby talk for now," he says resolutely. "We're alone, we have the house to ourselves for the whole night and those big plans are waiting for us."

"Say no more." Veronica grins as she sits up and moves to get out of the tub.

Grabbing two towels, she wraps one around herself, and holds the other out to Logan. He uses it to pat himself down, but then drops it to the floor, standing naked and aroused before her. Veronica doesn't even have time to appreciate the view, before he scoops her up into his arms and carries her back into the bedroom.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major apologies for such a long wait for a new chapter of this story... October was taken up with writing and posting my Promptober entries, and it's taken longer than I'd hoped to get back into writing this story again.
> 
> Thanks goes to Irma66 for her quick beta skills and suggestions for this chapter :).
> 
> MrsKissyT - if you're reading this, I didn't manage to write a separate dialogue prompt, but there's a little Easter Egg in this chapter for you :P.

**Mid-September 2020**

**Five Months Old**

"Okay, you're all done," says Veronica with a smile as she finishes adjusting Abigail's outfit and lifts her up off the changing table. "Shall we go wait for Daddy?"

"Ah, bub-bub." Abi responds eagerly, her fist coming to her mouth.

"All right, then, let's go," she says, resting the baby against her chest as she carries her down the hallway.

Placing Abigail tummy-down on the large blanket spread out on the living room floor, Veronica pops into the kitchen to grab a glass of orange juice and some breakfast. She returns to the living room to find the baby now situated on her back, her little legs kicking away, while Pony watches her from where she's curled up in her bed.

"Look at you rolling over like a pro," she says encouragingly, placing her plate and OJ down on the coffee table and kneeling on the floor beside her daughter. Catching Abi's feet in her hands, she leans forward. "Won't be long before you're rolling back onto your tummy too, huh? But you gotta promise me you'll only do it when Daddy's here, because he'd never forgive me if he missed it."

"Da!" proclaims Abi excitedly. "Da, da, da, da!"

"That's right, Daddy." Veronica grins. "Wanna see if we can spot him?"

"Ah, ah, ahh!" is all she gets in response.

"Come on, then, sweet thing." Veronica tickles Abi's toes, then scoops her up into her arms.

She picks up the juice and plate and tries to juggle all three as she slides open the French door with one elbow and steps out onto the sundeck, elbowing the door closed so Pony doesn't decide tear out of the house. She deposits her breakfast on the table, then takes a seat beside it, settling Abi on her lap and adjusting the baby's hat so she's shaded from the sun.

"Can you see Daddy yet?" she asks softly, before pointing along the beach. "He usually comes that way."

"Eh, eh, eh..." Abi responds, waving her arms up and down, smacking her legs in the process.

Veronica turns the baby to face her, an overwhelming feeling of love rising in her chest as she takes in her daughter's shining eyes and beautiful smile. She's beginning to see more of both herself and Logan in Abigail every day and it's so surreal. She loves her little girl—their little girl—so much, more than she ever imagined she could love another human being, even Logan.

Abi reaches her hands out towards her and Veronica takes them with a grin. "You want to play pat-a-cake?"

She begins clapping the baby's hands together, reciting the rhyme as she goes, Abi laughing along with her, but then the sound of a throat clearing, followed by a deep chuckle, draws her attention and she looks up to find a sweaty, yet extremely delectable-looking Logan resting one elbow on the fence surrounding the deck as he stretches his legs.

"Hey," she greets him softly. "Good run?"

"Uh huh." He nods, stepping up onto the wooden platform and running a forearm across his face.

"Look, Daddy's here," she says, turning Abigail to face him.

"Da… da…" the baby babbles, holding her arms out to him.

Logan grins as he scoops her up and sinks down into the chair beside Veronica.

"Hey, baby girl," he greets softly, before his eyes widen in delight as he notices her new outfit. "Don't you look pretty today? You're like Daddy's mini-me."

"Thought you'd appreciate it." Veronica grins.

She came across the cute little sailor outfit and matching hat online last week and couldn't resist, knowing Logan would get a kick out of it.

"Gah!" Abi's hands press against the sides of his face, causing Logan to laugh warmly.

"Sorry, sweetheart, Daddy's all sweaty."

"Yeah he is," murmurs Veronica absently, running her gaze over his muscular form, then blushing when Logan catches her eye and winks at her.

"I'm gonna take a shower," he announces, before making a face and sticking his tongue out at Abi.

The baby giggles, the soft sound warming Veronica's heart. Watching Logan interact with their daughter is the most adorable thing she's ever witnessed.

"Okay," she murmurs softly.

He doesn't make any move to get up, though; instead he lifts Abi up, pressing his face to her neck, inhaling her baby scent for a moment, before kissing her chubby cheek and hugging her to his chest.

"I thought you were gonna shower?" asks Veronica, watching him with amusement.

"In a minute," he responds. "I'm bonding with my baby girl here."

"Yeah, I see that…" She gives him a tender smile, before grinning mischievously. "But she's gonna stink like you if you don't stop cuddling her soon."

"Never," he declares. "She's too cute to stink."

Veronica just raises a sceptical eyebrow at that. "You realise she stinks several times a day, right?"

Logan fake gasps, covering Abi's ears. "Not in front of the impressionable child. You'll give her a complex."

Veronica just shakes her head and gives an exaggerated roll of her eyes. "Oh, just go shower already."

"Fine, fine. I'm going." He eases himself out of the chair and hands Abi back to Veronica. "I won't be long."

He leans down to kiss first Abi and then Veronica, before straightening up and heading inside the house. Veronica watches him leave, admiring the play of muscles under his tight t-shirt, then turns back to the baby again.

"How is your daddy so perfect, huh?" Abi just lets out a string of unintelligible babble, but Veronica nods sagely in response. "Yeah, I don't know, either."

True to his word, Logan returns in less than 10 minutes, freshly showered and dressed, and gulping down a glass of water as he steps outside onto the sundeck. As soon as he sits down, Abi starts squirming in Veronica's arms, reaching for him again, and he lifts her up with a wide smile, placing her down in his lap.

"So, what's on the agenda for today?" he asks, gently bouncing the baby on his knees.

"Nothing in particular," says Veronica. "What do you feel like doing?"

"I'm easy." Logan shoots her a small smile, though there's something in his expression that gives her pause.

"What?" she asks, curious.

"Nothing." He shakes his head. "Just, there used to be a time when we barely saw each other at weekends; you were always busy with cases and going undercover."

"Yeah, well…" She shrugs. "Being a mom takes up all my time now."

"Yeah, I know," he acknowledges. "And you're pretty amazing at it, too."

"Thanks." Veronica smiles, though she's not entirely sure she believes it. "But, actually, there's something I need to talk to you about."

Logan frowns slightly, but nods. "Go on."

Veronica glances at Abigail for a second, before lifting her eyes to Logan's and sucking in a breath. "I want to go back to work."

"Are you sure?" he questions, not seeming particularly surprised by her confession.

"I am." She nods. "I mean, I love Abi, you know I do, but I'm going crazy spending all my time at home with her. I miss it, Lo. I miss the excitement and intrigue. I miss using my brain. I miss solving cases."

"Okay." Logan nods, adjusting Abi in his lap.

"Okay?" Veronica blinks in surprise. "Wow, I was expecting more of a protest. Something along the lines of me not putting myself in danger anymore."

"Veronica." Logan shakes his head, a half-smile tugging at his lips. "You don't really think I could stop you from going back to work if that was what you wanted?"

"Well, no," she admits. "I guess not."

"'Cause, honestly, I wouldn't even dream of attempting it," he continues with a knowing smile. "If you want to go back to investigating, then do it."

"Okay." She gives him a small smile before sighing in resignation. "But it's not as simple as that, is it? If I'm working and you're working, who's gonna look after Abi?"

"Daycare?" he suggests.

Veronica looks to Abigail, her chest tightening with worry at the thought of her child being in the care of strangers in unfamiliar surroundings.

"No." She scrunches up her nose, shaking her head. "She's too young… and this is Neptune. Who knows what could happen to her in daycare?"

"Okay. No daycare," Logan agrees. "But, I mean, we can't take her to work with us either, so, how about a nanny?"

"A nanny?" Veronica's stomach bottoms out at that thought.

She's never wanted to become one of  _those_  parents; you know, the ones who hand their kids off to a nanny and are never around. And given how Logan was raised, she can't imagine it would be his preference either.

"You'd be happy with that?" she asks sceptically.

He shrugs. "If that's what we need to do so you can be happy, then, yeah."

"But I don't know if I want a nanny taking care of her instead of me."

Logan just gives her a slightly exasperated look, adjusting Abi on his lap when she starts to squirm. "Well, you can't have it both ways."

She frowns in thought. "Maybe I  _could_  take her to work… set up a small nursery space in the back room."

"And what about when you're out on a case?" he counters. "Or when she needs feeding and changing and you're with a client? You can't expect your dad or Mac to add childcare to their work duties."

Veronica's shoulders slump in defeat. "No, you're right. I can't do that."

"Look." Logan shifts forward, hugging Abi close as he reaches over to lay his hand on her knee. "Why don't we see what the world of nannying has to offer? If we don't find anyone we like, we can explore other options."

She considers the suggestion thoughtfully before giving a slow nod. "Yeah, okay."

"Okay." He flashes her a smile. "But going back to the topic of today's agenda, how about we take a trip to the park, grab some lunch…try for some regular family time before you get back into the ruthless world of investigating?"

"Sure. I'd like that." Veronica smiles, leaning over to kiss him.

* * *

**Late September 2020**

**Five-and-a-half Months Old**

Logan adjusts the baby bag on his shoulder, bringing his hand up to cradle Abi's back as he pulls open the door to the coffee shop and heads inside. Eyes scanning the room, he spots Veronica sitting by the wall, the table before her covered in papers as she scribbles in a notepad, brow furrowed in concentration. He watches her with a soft smile for a moment, then reluctanctly tears his gaze from her and walks over to the counter.

"Morning," greets the barista cheerfully when it's his turn to be served. "What can I get you?"

"Uh, two coffees with cream—one decaf, one regular—and two chocolate muffins."

"Okay, that'll be twelve-fifty." The barista—a young, bubbly redhead who can't be more than sixteen—smiles as he hands her a twenty, her gaze dropping to Abigail strapped to his chest. "Cute baby, by the way."

"Thanks." Logan grins. "We like her."

When his order is ready, Logan picks up the tray and turns to make his way over to Veronica. He only gets a couple of feet before a hand lands on his forearm.

"Logan?" He tries not to spill the coffees as he turns his head to see a short brunette grinning up at him. "What are you doing here? I thought you and Veronica were on the East Coast now?"

"Heather?" he asks, a smile spreading across his face. "Hey. It's been a long time."

"Clearly." She nods pointedly at his chest. "I seem to have missed a lot."

"Yeah, sorry about that," he apologises. "We've been pretty busy lately."

"So I can see."

"We moved back in December," he explains. "And this little one was born in April. Heather, meet Abigail, my daughter."

"Hi there, Abigail." Heather smiles, reaching out and running a finger across Abi's hand. "She's gorgeous, Logan. Congratulations."

"Thanks."

"You know, I'm not sure I've ever pictured you as a father before, but you know what? It suits you."

"Yeah, me either, until recently." He flashes a smile. He's about to ask what she's been up to, but the barista calls her forward, so instead he says, "Listen, Veronica's just over there. Why don't you join us when you've ordered? We can catch up."

"Okay, thanks." Heather nods. "I will."

Leaving her to it, he weaves his way through the coffee shop, towards Veronica's table. She glances up when he's a few feet away, and a lazy smile spreads across her face when she spots him, her bottom lip catching between her teeth, a 'come hither' look in her eyes.

Logan grins as he places the tray down on the table and slides into the seat opposite her. "What's that look for?"

"You know, I never really got the whole allure of a man with a baby before," she murmurs. "But I've seriously had to reconsider my stance on that in the last few months."

"Yeah?" He bobs his eyebrows.

"Uh huh… 'cause you look very sexy right now."

He gives a throaty chuckle. "You realise we're in public, right?"

"Yeah. Unfortunately." She pouts for a moment, before her eyes light up. "You wanna get out of here? We can take this to go."

"Can't, sorry," he says apologetically. "I just bumped into Heather at the counter and invited her to join us."

"Oh." The disappointment in her voice is obvious.

"That's okay, right?" he checks as he unstraps Abigail from the baby carrier. "With everything going on, we've lost touch and I owe her a catch-up."

"Yeah, it's fine," she says, taking the baby from him and balancing her on her lap.

"How's it going with the nanny applications?" he asks, folding away the carrier and getting comfortable at the table.

"Eh, I don't know." She wrinkles her nose. "I mean, they all seem perfectly qualified on paper, but I'm just—"

"Not sure you want to trust any of them with our child?"

"Yeah," she agrees. "I feel like no one is going to be good enough. Is that weird?"

"No. It's not weird." He smiles. "But do we have  _any_  contenders at all?"

"Maybe this one." She picks up a couple of applications and hands them to him, one at a time. "And possibly this one."

"Okay."

He scans the sheets of paper. Both candidates seem to have plenty of experience with children, and come with great references, but he understands Veronica's hesitation. He spent most of his own childhood being looked after by nannies, and while, in his case, that was probably a good thing given the kind of people his parents were, he and Veronica plan on being hands-on parents, and they intend on spending as much time with Abi as possible.

"Hey, guys." Heather appears at the table then and Veronica smiles warmly at her.

"Heather, hi." She gestures towards the empty seat at the table and Heather slides into it. "It's good to see you."

"You too, Veronica." Heather smiles. "You have a beautiful daughter, by the way."

"Thank you." Veronica looks down at Abigail, as she starts babbling and reaching out to the newcomer, and then up to Heather, who is watching the baby almost longingly. "You want to hold her?"

"You don't mind?" Heather asks, looking a little surprised.

"Sure. She seems to want to say hi." She lifts her up so Heather can take her.

"Hi, there, Abigail," coos Heather, her hand cradling the back of the baby's head and neck as she smiles down at her. "Well, aren't you just the sweetest thing ever?"

With a small smile, Logan watches his friend interact with his daughter for a moment, before saying, "You're good with her."

"I love kids." Heather gives a self-conscious shrug. "I actually just got my masters in Early Childhood Development."

"Really? Wow." Logan is surprised. "How did I not know that?"

She shoots him an incredulous look. "Maybe because you've been MIA for the last couple years?"

Logan winces. "Yeah, sorry about that. It wasn't intentional; we've just had a lot going on."

"So, what are you up to now, Heather?" Veronica asks, taking a sip of her decaf coffee.

"I'm kind of between things right now," the younger woman admits. "I've been applying for pre-school and elementary school jobs, but I haven't gotten anywhere yet."

Logan catches Veronica's eye then, nodding towards Heather, who seems captivated by Abigail, and giving her a 'what about it?' look. They hold a silent conversation for a few moments, until she eventually nods and gives a small smile, mouthing, 'Why not?'.

"Hey, uh, Heather?" he starts. "How much experience do you have with looking after kids?"

"You mean like babysitting?"

"Yeah, or nannying, child-minding, that kind of thing."

"Some," she says. "I worked with kids during my degree, and I was a camp counsellor for a couple of summers, remember? Why?"

"Well, Logan and I are looking for a nanny," says Veronica. "So I can go back to work. You think you might be interested?"

"Me?" Heather's eyes widen. "Are you sure? I mean, you wouldn't rather hire someone with a lot more experience?"

"Honestly, I'd rather hire someone I know I can trust with my kid." Veronica looks to Logan. "And, yeah, okay, I don't know you all that well, but Logan does, and I trust his judgement."

"Wow. Okay." Heather looks a little shell-shocked.

"Of course, we can do a trial run first, see how things go," she says. "But if it works out, we'd be happy to hire you."

"And we'll pay you well," adds Logan.

Heather grins. "You'd better, Mr. Millionaire."

"So, you'll do it?" Veronica asks, a hopeful smile on her face.

Heather glances down at Abi, who has grabbed a handful of her hair and is tugging on it delightedly, before looking between Veronica and himself and nodding.

"Sure, I'm open to a trial run."

"Great." Logan gives her a wide smile. "If you're free, why don't you come by Monday evening, and we can go through some logistics?"

"All right, that sounds good." Heather smiles. "Thanks, guys."

Logan returns the smile, before looking to Veronica again, who nods at him encouragingly. He's glad she seems to be happy with the idea of Heather caring for Abi… after all, it seems like the perfect solution to their nanny problem.

* * *

**Early October 2020**

**Almost Six Months Old**

"Okay, so her bottles are in here," says Veronica, opening the fridge to show Heather. "They're all prepared, so you'll just need to heat them up. Don't forget to test the temperature before you feed her."

"Sure." Heather nods, adjusting Abigail in her arms.

"And we've just started her on solids," she adds, gesturing to a couple of Saran-wrapped jars on one of the shelves. "So you can try a few spoonfuls of pureed carrots or mashed banana, but don't worry if she won't take them."

"Okay."

Veronica closes the fridge, then flits across the room, picking up the sheets of paper she's prepared. "My office and cell-phone numbers are on here, as well as Logan's cell and his number on base. You've also got my dad's office and cell on here, and Mac's, plus Abi's paediatrician, and Pony's vet. If you have any questions, about anything at all, just call me, okay? I'll come right home."

"We'll be fine, Veronica," says Heather. "Honestly."

She turns to Heather anxiously. "Are you sure? I don't have to leave right away; I can stick around for a bit, make sure everything's all right."

"Veronica…" Heather looks at her in amusement. "You have nothing to worry about. Seriously. Just go to work, okay?"

Veronica bites her lip, the thought of leaving her daughter alone with a virtual stranger for the whole day making her feel a little nauseated. She inhales a calming breath, then nods reluctantly.

"Okay. I'm going." Stepping forward, she strokes her hand over Abi's head and leans down to kiss her cheek. "Be good for Heather, okay?" She looks up at the younger woman. "I'll be home by four."

With one more kiss, this time to the top of her daughter's head, Veronica straightens, collecting her bag from the kitchen counter and reaching down to ruffle Pony's fur, before finally leaving the house. She slides into the car and lets out a shaky sigh, her fingers gripping the steering wheel.

God, what is she thinking?

Save for the night of her birthday, she's barely been away from her daughter for more than a couple of hours since the day she was born, and now she's willingly choosing to leave her with a nanny so she can return to work.

Resisting the urge to walk right back into the house again, she starts the car and reluctantly pulls out of the driveway.

_Abi's gonna be fine_ , she tells herself.  _She's in good hands._

So why can't she relax and accept it?

With another sigh, she glances at the clock, then calls Logan through the car's Bluetooth connection.

"Hey, what's up?" he greets after two rings. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," she says. "I think so. I just left Abi with Heather."

"Ah." His tone is knowing. "And now you're second-guessing that decision."

''I am," she admits. "Stupid, right?"

"No, it's not stupid."

"I mean," she continues. "In my head, I know she'll be safe with her, but I can't help it. She's my baby."

"I know," Logan agrees, and she can hear the smile in his voice. "But you're gonna get through it. Couple days back on the job and it'll be like you never left."

"Maybe..."

"It will," he assures her. "You'll be fine."

"Yeah, I know." Veronica agrees, smiling as she adds, "I'll see you later."

"Stay strong, tiny blonde one," are his parting words.

The line goes dead and she inhales slowly, squaring her shoulders as she drives. She can do this.

* * *

**End October 2020 - Halloween**

**Six Months Old**

It's been just over three weeks since Veronica went back to work, and so far, things have been working out well. It didn't take long for her to settle back into investigating, and just as Logan had predicted, it only took a few days for her to get over her initial hesitation about leaving Abigail with a nanny. Of course, it helps that Heather has been a god-send, which is something Logan is eternally grateful for, because, like Veronica, he wasn't a fan of hiring a complete stranger to care for his daughter.

On Halloween, he arrives home from the base at five-thirty to find Heather sitting on the living room floor with Abigail.

"Hey," he greets warmly, bending down to pet Pony as she bounds over to him, tail wagging excitedly. "Veronica not home?"

"Not yet," says Heather, getting up from the floor. "She called to say she was caught up in a new case and asked if I could stay with Abi until you got home."

"Why am I not surprised?" Logan grins. _Only three weeks back on the job and she's already staying late_. "Thanks for sticking around."

"No problem," she says. "Happy to do it."

Logan crosses the room and scoops Abi up from the floor, giving her a sloppy kiss on the cheek, then blowing a raspberry against her neck, smiling when she giggles. He turns to Heather, finding her watching him with a smile, then nods towards the kitchen.

"You want a coffee or something before you head out?"

"Sure."

They head into the kitchen, Pony following and curling up in her bed as Logan situates Abi in her baby walker. He starts up the coffee machine and he and Heather make small talk while he fixes the coffee. They're just sitting down to drink it when the doorbell rings, so Logan excuses himself to answer it.

"Dude!" Dick grins at him from the doorstep as he answers the door. He's dressed in an Al-Pacino-style gangster suit and has a six-pack of beer in one hand and a bag of candy in the other. "It's Halloween, man. Let's celebrate!"

"Dick." Logan greets flatly, as his friend steps past him and into the house. "You're early."

Dick gives him a once-over, raising an eyebrow. "Dude, you're not seriously going Trick-or-Treating as yourself, right? 'Cause that's some ego right there."

"I just got back from work," says Logan, looking down at his uniform. "Like I said, you're early. Besides, you're one to talk; why do you look like you've just stepped out of the Godfather?"

"'Cause that's what I am, baby. Abi's Godfather."

"Uh…" Logan frowns. "I wasn't aware we'd chosen any godparents yet."

"Figured I'd pre-empt the official announcement." Dick shoots him a grin. "I mean, it's gonna happen, right?"

Logan stares at his friend in bewilderment. "Yeah, well, I think Veronica might have something to say about that."

"Whatever." Dick shrugs, making his way down the hall and into the kitchen, leaving Logan to follow him.

He opens the fridge and stashes the beer inside, then dumps the candy on the counter, before finally noticing Heather standing there.

"Well, hey, there, beautiful." He turns on the charm, then shoots Logan a curious look. "Hey, does Veronica know you have a hot chick here?"

Heather just rolls her eyes and turns to pick up Abi, who has started fussing in her walker.

"Mind out of the gutter, dude," Logan responds with a shake of his head. "Heather's our nanny. And a good friend of mine."

"And what a fine nanny she is." Dick leers in appreciation.

At that, Heather turns, a look of distaste on her face. "Seriously, Dick… you're hitting on me? You really haven't changed, have you?"

"Huh?" Dick frowns, looking thoroughly confused. "Wait, we know each other?"

"Yes, we know each other. You were married to my sister, for God's sake."

"I was  _what_?" Dick seems thoroughly shocked and Logan has to suppress a chuckle at his expression.

"You remember, right?" Heather prompts. "2007… you left me with Logan while you and Melinda went to Vegas… you got drunk, woke up married…got divorced a few days later… any of this ringing a bell?"

Dick frowns for a moment, before his eyes widen and his mouth drops open. "No shit… you're  _that_  Heather? But you're like, eleven."

"I  _was_  eleven. Then," Heather clarifies. "Now, I'm twenty-five."

"Right. Yeah. I see that." Dick nods, still seeming bewildered. "And you're friends with Logan?"

"We kept in touch over the years," Logan tells him. "Thought you knew that."

His friend shrugs. "Must've slipped my mind."

"Big surprise," mutters Heather, before turning to Logan. "She needs changing, I'm just gonna…"

She nods towards Abi's bedroom, but Logan shakes his head. "That's okay, I'll do it. You're off the clock now."

"I don't mind."

"Seriously," says Logan, holding his arms out for the baby. "You finish your coffee and head home."

"Yeah, okay."

Heather hands Abi over to him, and he crosses the kitchen, turning back to them before he leaves.

"No killing each other while we're gone, okay?" Heather and Dick give matching, noncommittal shrugs.

With a sigh, he heads down the hall to Abi's room. "Come on, baby girl, let's get you ready for Halloween, shall we?"

She lets out a string of baby babble in response and Logan grins as he sets her down on the changing table and sets about getting her cleaned up. When she's clad in a fresh diaper, he reaches for the tiny Halloween costume he and Veronica picked out for her a few days ago. He gently folds her legs and arms into the costume and fastens it at the back, then pulls the hood over her head.

"You look so sweet in this," he tells her with a smile. "Mommy's gonna love it."

Satisfied with his handiwork, he carries her back towards the kitchen, stopping just outside, when he hears an argument taking place inside. He leans in to listen, but the front door opens and Veronica slips through, frowning when she spots Logan hovering outside the kitchen.

"What's going on?" she asks softly, coming to his side.

"Shh…" He brings a finger to his lips, nodding towards the kitchen. "I'm eavesdropping. Dick and Heather are arguing in there."

Veronica rolls her eyes, whispering, "Seriously? What are you, twelve?"

He just shakes his head and turns his attention back to the argument again.

"Hey, are you even listening?" Dick's irritated voice floats through to him.

"Yes," replies Heather. "It just takes me a while to process so much stupid all at once."

"Hey, I'm not stupid."

"Coulda fooled me."

"Geez, those two," Veronica mutters, before noticing Abi's outfit and giving a soft gasp. "Oh my God, she looks so cute!" She takes Abi from him and gives her a kiss. "My perfect little unicorn."

Inside the kitchen, the argument starts to escalate, and Logan decides it's time to intervene. Clearing his throat, he steps inside the kitchen, making his presence known.

"Okay, children. Break it up." He turns to Heather, giving her an apologetic smile. "Just ignore him, okay?"

"Don't worry, I will." Heather shoots Dick a glare, before returning Logan's smile and nodding as Veronica enters the kitchen as well. "Hey, Veronica. Oh, wow, look at you, Abigail! Don't you look precious?"

"Doesn't she?" Veronica grins down at the baby, bouncing her in her arms. "I've always loved unicorns, and now I have one of my very own."

"And here I thought ponies were your big obsession," teases Logan.

At the sound of her name, Pony's head shoots up from where she's been dozing and when she realises the kitchen is filled with people, she gets up and pads over to greet Dick, who crouches down to say hi.

"I like unicorns, too," responds Veronica, before turning her attention to Heather again. "Thanks for staying today, Heather. I hope this little one wasn't too much of a handful."

"It's no problem, Veronica. She was an angel," Heather says, finishing her coffee and placing the mug in the sink. "It's getting late, though. I'd better get going. I'll see you guys in the morning."

She picks up her jacket and bag from the table, narrowing her eyes at Dick as she moves past him, throwing out a sarcastic, "Nice to see you again, Dick."

"Likewise." Dick nods, seemingly unaffected by their recent argument.

She leaves the kitchen, heading for the door, and Logan follows her out.

"Sorry about him," he apologises on behalf of his friend. "He's not exactly tactful."

Heather shrugs. "I can handle guys like him no problem."

"I know you can," Logan replies with a smile as he opens the door for her. "Have a good Halloween."

"You, too, Logan."

Logan closes the door behind her and heads back to the kitchen, only to find Dick holding Abi and Veronica nowhere to be seen.

Seeing his confusion, Dick says, "She's gone to get changed."

"Ah, okay. I'd better do the same." Logan gestures toward Abi. "You mind watching her for a few minutes?"

"Sure, no problem, dude. Take your time."

"Thanks." Logan flashes a smile. Dick might be an idiot half the time, but he absolutely dotes on Abigail. "Won't be long. If Mac and Wallace show up, just let them in."

He heads down the hall and enters the bedroom to find Veronica rummaging around in their walk-in closet.

"Hey," he sidles up behind her, slipping his arms around her waist and kissing the side of her head. "Dick's looking after Abi so we can get ready."

"Okay." She nods, flicking through the clothes in the closet.

"So you already know what  _my_ Halloween costume is," he says. "Do I get to see yours?"

"Not until I'm wearing it," she responds with a smile. "You'll find out when you're done in the shower."

"Fine." He sighs. "But after all this secrecy, it better be good."

"Oh, I think you'll like it," she says airily, turning in his arms and kissing his lips before pushing at his chest. "Now get in that bathroom already so I can change."

He grins, giving her a cheeky salute. "Yes, ma'am."

Fifteen minutes later, he's back in the bedroom again, freshly-showered and dressed in his costume—a slick 1940's three-piece suit and fedora, reminiscent of a detective in a noir film—and staring at Veronica with a mixture of surprise and lust.

"Wow…"

"You like it?" She gives a twirl, showing off her costume.

She's dressed in a form-fitting white Navy-style jacket and pencil skirt combo, complete with gold trim and a matching hat, and on her feet are white heels.

"Oh, yeah…" is all he can manage, barely able to stop his jaw from dropping at the sight of her.

She grins and steps forward, running her hands up over his chest. Rising up on her toes, she brings her mouth close to his ear. "Just wait until you see what's underneath."

Logan swallows audibly. "Geez, Mars, you can't say stuff like that when we're about to go out in public… and definitely not when Dick is in the other room with our daughter."

She gives a breathy chuckle.

"Just giving you a hint of what's to come later." Taking a step back, she turns towards the bedroom door. "But right now, we have friends coming over and an evening of Trick-or-Treating ahead of us. So, let's get going."

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [(Covers) Second Chances by Heavenli24](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15783027) by [AlinaSorokina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlinaSorokina/pseuds/AlinaSorokina)




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